Brave & Courageous
by Berry Goodness
Summary: Sirius Black is not the kind of person to fall in love... Or is he? Felicity Barnett only wanted to have an exciting 7th year... but now she's falling for the one person she should stay away from. OCxSirius
1. Prologue

Shakespeare once wrote, "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind." If only Shakespeare had known Sirius Black.

He was an arrogant person, if not all the time, then most. He was confident and held an air of regality about him, not afraid of what anyone thought of him. Showing off, boasting, always so proud of his accomplishments. Which was to be expected, given the size of his ego.

His features however, as he became older, were perfection. His hair tumbled around his face, long and wispy, his jaw strong; clenched when angry. He was fairly tall, and his body had been moulded and shaped to play Quidditch from his many long and tiresome hours. Some say the best and the worst part of him were his eyes; grey and full of uncertain emotions.

Yet there was a side of him that only his friends would know. The loyalty, when he stuck up for them in times of need, or for what he thought was right. The bravery, when he didn't back down from a fight or duel (which usually landed him in detention while in school). His caring side, which only came out once in a blue moon, when someone was in a really foul mood. He was capable of love and emotion, though rarely showed it until later in his life.

I was close enough to Sirius to see these wonderful things in action; my sister however, was blind to them. Which really was a pity because Sirius Black was completely and utterly head over heels in love with her.

All that she knew of Sirius was that he was a good-looking person who knew he was handsome and flaunted it. She didn't have to put up with the constant questions about herself, wouldn't notice that his eyes would light up when she walked in the room, or that he constantly had trouble taking his eyes off her. Always.

No, of course she would never notice these things. She thought of herself as the plain Jane sort. But when Sirius looked at her, he saw perfection. He saw his shining star (his words, not mine).

Sirius Black didn't know he was in love with Felicity at first. He did not understand it then, but I secretly think he craved her presence over anyone else's. He did not voice it, he never would, unless it was to Felicity herself years later; but he would proudly say that from that point on, he did not date another girl. Of course there were flings, to try and make her jealous (which it did and which it didn't), but he was Sirius, that's the way his mind worked. The way Felicity saw it; he was still a child.

When he ran away from home to the Potter's, James owled us, Sirius had shown up in bad shape and he didn't know what to do. With Felicity being a healer in training, he thought she could help. After rushing over, I think Felicity really saw him for the first time. His ribs were broken, his skin bruised, but all he could see was his saviour. And all she could see was someone brave & courageous.


	2. Chapter 1

"I hate fall," Felicity said simply one summer afternoon.

It was odd that she had spoken aloud, because she rarely did when alone. But the thought had suddenly popped into her head & had come with the smallest tinge of sadness.

She loved the summer months away from Hogwarts for two reasons: One being that she got to spend as much time as possible with her family, that she missed dearly during the school year, and the other being that she could enjoy most of all the summer at their family cabin, soaking up the sun and swimming to her heart's content. However now that it was almost over, she wished she had plenty more days and nights.

Felicity was sitting in a comfy beach chair, feeling the rocks and sand squishing between her toes. She loved the feeling of warmth from the sun as it radiated over her body.

"If you lay out any longer, I swear you'll become a leather handbag," said a familiar voice, causing Felicity to laugh.

Without even looking up, Felicity answered. "Oh Viv, you already know how much of a cow I am." She said it half heartedly as her sister came down the path towards their small stretch of beach. Felicity could picture her sister, even with her eyes closed; Vivian would have been wearing her favourite purple bathing suit, a folded beach chair in one hand and a glass of water in the other. When Felicity peeked an eye over at her sister, she smirked and awarded herself 10 imaginary points to Gryffindor for getting it right.

Vivian was Felicity's eldest sister, but only by a couple of minutes, if you wanted specifics. Vivian was the first of triplets that were born into the Barnett family. After had come Gemma and then finally Felicity.

As they had grown older, it had become certain that they were identical. They all sported the same long and wavy blonde hair, the same small figure and height (though Gemma was arguably an inch taller when she stood straight), the same high cheeks and rosy lips, even the same hazel eyes.

It was an odd feeling, Felicity often thought, watching this person who looked exactly like you go about their day. Watching them perform simple tasks and wondering if you had the same mannerisms and idiosyncrasies.

"It is true! You always lay out all day; it's basically what you do all summer long! I'm surprised you're not a leather bag already." Vivian spoke as she unfolded the chair and sat peacefully. It was true, while Felicity's skin was a nice tanned colour, Vivian's was paler in comparison.

"Oh hush!" Felicity said, stealing a sip of her sister's water. "Finally got tired of the baby crying?"

Vivian rolled her eyes. "Mama just put Mellie down for her nap. Gem is out with the boys and Penny won't put down her bloody book."

Felicity smiled. Melody was the youngest of the 5 sisters, just born two months prior. She had been "an unexpected miracle" her mother had stated. Penelope was nearing 10 and constantly had her nose planted in a book, which Felicity figured she got from spending so much time with Vivian, who loved reading more than anything else.

"So Gemma is out with the boys then?" Felicity said, trying not to draw attention to the topic. Trying not to look like she wanted to know all the details.

Vivian nodded. "She left 'bout an hour ago on her broom, said they're playing – oh that flying game, whatever it's called."

Felicity smiled at her words. Unlike Gemma and herself, Vivian was pure Muggle. It was an odd occurrence; Muggleborn parents having triplets and only two of them getting letters from Hogwarts saying they were witches.

It was moments like these that Felicity thought of her Muggle friend Lily Evans, whose sister was absolutely horrid to her because Petunia wasn't a witch while Lily was. However, Vivian was the exact opposite. Although she was jealous at first because her sisters were going out to experience something new without her, with time she had come to terms with it.

"It's called Quidditch, Viv, remember?"

"I shall not remember. What's the point of having magical sisters if their not here to remind you of their magical games?" she replied with a laugh.

Thinking of Quidditch made Felicity want to think of Sirius and although she could admit to herself that she was intrigued, she still couldn't decipher his odd behaviour from the night she had healed him. It had been nearly three weeks and the only time she had talked to him was when he had sent her the page long 'thank you' letter. She had not responded.

What was one to say to something like that? 'You're welcome for healing you'? 'Call me when you're in need again'?

But it had not been like that. It had been an emergency and he had needed her. But it had been James who had written…

"Fea, are you listening to me?" asked Vivian, turning to glance at her sister.

"I'm sorry?"

"What's the matter with you?" the eldest sister inquired. "You seem out of it lately. Is there something bothering you?"

Felicity sighed. She knew she could tell Vivi anything but it was odd talking boys; she rarely did it. "It's – well, it's – I don't know where to begin," she huffed, sinking deeper into her chair, the sun long forgotten.

"The beginning?"

Felicity snorted. "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

That was how Felicity launched into the story that was Sirius Black. And that was how Vivian decided that Felicity was beginning to notice this boy, which was something she had never done before.

* * *

 _Three weeks prior_

* * *

The night was a cloudless one, something that Felicity loved and always took full advantage of. She studied the stars out of the window nearest her bed, getting lost in the constellations. It was nearly 1 in the morning but the three sisters were still wide-awake. Vivian was currently in the bathroom, placing an ugly green mask on her face, having said that it helped with 'clear skin'. If Felicity craned her neck to the side she had a perfect view of the bathroom that was connected to their room. Felicity had snorted at her words because Vivian had perfect skin; it was completely flawless in her eyes. Gemma was lying on her bed, going over the multiple sheets of Quidditch plays that James had given her that day. Felicity knew that she was obsessed and should not be bothered.

Their room was large but simple. It was a pale lavender colour, per Vivian's insistence. She had stated 3rd year that she lived in it year long while they were away so she should get to pick the colour. And of course she was right. When Felicity and Gemma had returned that summer to the lavender painted room they hadn't liked it at first; Gemma had called it too girly. But as the time went on they got used to the colour and hadn't complained about it after that. It was sometimes tiresome sharing a room with two other sisters, but they made it work. They each had their own bed, side table and dresser but also shared a vanity and desk.

As she turned back to the stars, something caught her eye. There was a blurb in the distance, something light coloured that was headed in her direction. She furiously squinted her eyes and finally gave up, grabbing her glasses for a better view. By the time she had placed them upon her face; the blob had stopped and perched itself on the windowsill, giving a quick hoot.

"Gemma!" Felicity said, weary of the unfamiliar owl that was quite close to her face. "There's an owl with a note for you."

There were only a couple people whom Felicity could guess that this owl could belong to and all of them were Marauders, a group of four boys with which Gemma spent all her time with at school. There was James Potter, the ring leader, with his head of dishevelled black hair. Sirius Black, who was by far James' best mate and master prankster. Peter Pettigrew, who was short, stout and shy. And lastly, Remus Lupin, who was by far the sanest out of the four.

The only person whom she kept in contact with via owl was Marlene, one of her dorm mates. If she wanted to talk to Lily, she knew that she was only a call away, so they never wrote to each other. And since Vivian didn't know any witches or wizards, it could only have been addressed to Gemma.

So when Gemma suddenly looked up from her papers and exclaimed, "Oh, it's from James", Felicity wasn't surprised in the least.

James Potter was one of the last people that Felicity expected to write a letter, let alone to Gemma of all people. They saw each other almost daily, so it made no sense of him to send a letter.

The air outside was cool as Gemma opened the window to let the owl in. "Why didn't you open the window?" she asked Felicity with a yawn. The owl flew into the room and landed on her bedpost, sticking its leg out expectantly.

"Because I don't let in unfamiliar owls," Felicity said incredulously. Gemma rolled her eyes as she opened the letter, just as Vivian decided to come out of the bathroom. She had a toothbrush in one hand and a frothy mouth.

"You two better keep it down, or you'll wake the whole house!" She said in a whisper, before disappearing back into the bathroom. Vivian was right; Melody and Penelope were sure to be sleeping already, as well as their parents.

Felicity turned back to Gemma, trying to be quiet as she spoke. "What does James want so late at night?"

Gemma didn't say anything as she read the letter, her face seeming to get grimmer with every word she read. Felicity was about to snatch the letter out of her hand and read it herself when her sister finally spoke.

"We need to leave," Gemma said quietly as she grabbed a jumper and threw it on.

"What do you mean?" asked Vivian, poking her head out of the bathroom. "What's going on?"

"James owled to say that Sirius ran away from home tonight," Gemma began, as she frantically searched for some socks and shoes. "He got to the Potter's and collapsed onto the couch. James moved him upstairs to his bedroom but.." she stopped, taking a shaky breathe.

"But?" Felicity asked, uncertain she really wanted to know the answer. She could feel the knots in her stomach as she dreaded hearing something foul had happened.

"He's really badly hurt, Fea. Sirius said not to call James' mum and dad, but he doesn't think he can heal him properly. James needs you to help Sirius; you're the only one he could think of that could possibly be good enough."

The thought that James trusted Felicity enough to ask for her help was riveting. She knew James well enough to know he would only ask if he was in desperate need and it was an emergency.

Felicity nodded her head in understanding, before grabbing a jumper for herself and heading for the door. Gemma scribbled a quick _'we're on our way'_ on the back of James' letter and sending the owl out the window. "If mum and dad ask about anything-" she started, but Vivian cut her off.

"Don't worry, I'll cover for you."

The girls nodded at each other in understanding. No matter what happened between them, they would have each others backs.

Hoping she didn't forget anything, Felicity went back to her side table for her wand and tiptoed down the stairs after Gemma.

Felicity had only ridden a broom once in her lifetime.

As was to say, one usually was either an exceptionally amazing flier, quite average, or dreadful. Felicity fell into the last category.

Her first time she had gotten on a broom, at the beginning of first year, she had kicked off and the promptly fallen, resulting in a broken wrist. No one was quite sure how it had happened. However Gemma was surprised as anyone when she flew easily and picked up the habits of a flier on her first try. One sister who couldn't fly and another that loved it.

Since then, Felicity had not ridden a broom. So when Gemma told her to get on and hold on tight before quickly taking off like a shot, Felicity was sure she was going to fall off or worse, freeze to death.

In her hustle, Felicity had forgotten to put on pants. So as she sat there in her pyjama shorts, she couldn't help but think of how cold the air was up high, even though it was summer.

By the time Gemma and Felicity arrived at the Potter's half an hour later they were both frozen to the bone.

Gemma had thankfully worn sweatpants as well as running shoes, where Felicity was just in her flimsy slippers and could barely feel her toes.

Upon knocking on the back door, as per Gemma's knowledge, James answered the door looking pale and uncertain. Gemma gave him a quick hug, while Felicity stood uncertainly on the doorstep.

James looked grimmer than Felicity had remembered him. There was no hint of happiness on his face as he spoke. "Thanks for coming Gem."

Gemma nodded, her eyes never leaving his. "Of course."

When James looked to Felicity, she could physically see him relax. "He's upstairs. C'mon, I'll show you the way."

Felicity had never been to the Potter's house, so as James led the way she tried to peek into each of the rooms, but they were dark as all the lights were out. She wondered if this was to keep the whole thing even more secret. But who would care if the lights were on?

They passed a sitting room and a dining room before climbing a set of stairs. James's room was the last down the hallway and to the left. As they walked through the door, Felicity tried to adjust her eyes to the bright lights that filled the room. The walls were painted Gryffindor red, with moving posters strewn over top. The room was messy, but Felicity didn't expect anything less from a teenage boy. As her eyes wandered around the room they came to rest on the body lying on the bed. She could see the bruises and scrapes on Sirius's arms and face from across the room. The pain was evident.

Without a second thought, she rolled up her sleeves and pulled out her wand, quickly walking across the room towards the bed. She snapped the light beside the bed on quickly, _the more light,_ she thought, _the better._

However the quick snap of the light woke Sirius up from whatever slumber he had been in, making him startle and let out a groan.

Felicity laid a gentle hand on his forehead, quickly checking for a growing fever, before brushing back some of his wavy brown hair. She took a careful seat next to him on the bed, making sure not to move Sirius an inch.

"Sirius," Felicity said in a low voice. "I'm going to fix you up, alright?"

"Sounds lovely, Felicity. Can we just get on with it?" The words coming from his mouth sounded forced.

"Okay, Sirius. I need your help though. You have to tell me what's broken and where it hurts."

"My arm and my ribs," was his response.

Felicity tried not to panic and remember what Madame Pomfrey had taught her. She could hear Gemma and James patiently standing a couple feet behind her, their breathing quiet.

"The arm I can fix easily enough. Which arm is it? Do you think it's broken?"

Sirius vaguely motioned to his right arm, so Felicity assumed it was broken. Muttering a quick spell, she heard a faint popping sound hear his elbow. Before any of them knew what was happening, Sirius screamed from the pain of his arm mending back together.

Sirius stopped screaming as James clamped a hand over his mouth. "If you keep screaming like that, my neighbours will call the Aurors."

"Sorry, mate," Sirius mumbled. "But that hurt just about worse than breaking it."

"Shh, Sirius, just don't think about it," Gemma whispered.

Felicity turned to James. "We need something to place in his mouth. To muffle the screams while I mend his ribs."

James went and grabbed a t shirt off the ground but Gemma quickly snatched it away, mumbling about a cloth and cleanliness. They both dashed out of the room arguing with each other.

Felicity kept to the task at hand, nudging up his shirt over his head as carefully as she could. She could finally feel how cold her fingers were against Sirius's warm skin. She pressed gently along his ribs, wondering how many of them could be broken.

"If we go any further," Sirius joked between his intakes of breathe. "You'll have to buy me dinner first.

Felicity let out a chuckle. "Don't worry Sirius, by the end of the night you'll be looking as good as new. And by the time you wake up tomorrow, you'll be flocking after girls before you know it."

"That sounds perfect," he grunted, opening his eyes and watching as Felicity examined the rest of his torso. She had started on the right side, where a couple of his ribs were broken or fractured for certain. However she had moved to the left side, so he knew that the pain was over for now. His father hadn't kicked him on that side.

As Felicity's hands slid away after finishing her inspection, she looked at Sirius, estimating the rest of the damages. He had many scrapes and bruises that littered his face and arms, but those could be fixed with a simple salve.

"If you want to check out my assets, please do that later," Sirius said, cracking a smile and splitting his dry lips in the process.

"Oh, Sirius. Just as I remembered you, as much of an arse as before."

Gemma and James came sprinting back into the room, a fluffy brown towel that was held and presented to Felicity.

She quickly rolled her eyes. "It'll have to do." Turning her attention back to Sirius, Felicity quickly shoved part of the towel into his mouth and threw the rest over his face. Before he could do anything she muttered the spell and mended his ribs. Sirius let out a muffled scream of pain.

"James, I'm going to need a salve that will heal Sirius' cuts, do you know if your parents would have something like that?"

James' eyes lit up with the prospect of being useful again. "Yeah, we have some of that, give me a sec," he said before running out the door. Gemma turned and followed James, like a lost puppy with nothing to do.

Felicity turned back to Sirius, removing the towel from his head and mouth, placing it on the bed in-between them.

"That could have been considered torture you know."

"Yes," Felicity replied, looking over at Sirius. "However, I would rather not be reported by the Aurors for use of underage magic."

Sirius laughed. "Yes, quite a predicament you've got there. When was the last time you used your wand?"

"At Hogwarts."

"In June?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Yes," she replied curtly.

"How do you even live?" Sirius seemed flabbergasted at Felicity's lack of magic outside school.

"I do other things Sirius." Felicity spoke impatiently. Then after a couple moments of silence, she said in a softer voice, "How could your family do this to you?"

"Easily."

Felicity shuddered. "What started it this time?" She knew of Sirius' home troubles; everyone did. He was the black sheep of his family. Whereas everyone was sorted into Slytherin house, Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. Slytherin's were known to be cunning and evil. Gryffindor's were loyal, brave and courageous.

"They were talking badly about the Potter's. How they wouldn't join..." Sirius shuddered and spoke his name with venom. "…Voldemort. They were talking about how they would get what was coming to them one day if they didn't join soon."

Felicity was transfixed with his words. "Oh, Sirius…"

"I stood up for them," said Sirius proudly. "They're great people, who don't deserve to be gossiped about or belittled because they won't become Death Eaters. They're standing up for what they believe in, so I stood up for them because I think they are right."

"So you said that your family was wrong and they beat you?"

"I didn't very well say it nicely. I told them to sod off and that the Potter's were better than they ever would be."

Felicity was taken aback by his words. "You're very brave," she said, a hint of admiration in her voice. She knew it must have been a tough thing to leave a bad situation, even if it was family.

Oddly, Sirius grabbed Felicity's hand and held it in his. Odder still, she let him. "Thank you for coming, Fea."

Felicity wavered as he called her by the nickname that Gemma always used. Were they close enough now that he felt justified to use it? Or was he really still in a great deal of pain? "Shh," she spoke hushed; her voice just above a whisper. She was afraid that if she spoke louder that her voice would betray her. "Don't worry about anything."

Suddenly there was a pounding of footsteps sounding on the stairs. James and Gemma came in, their arms full of various potion bottles.

"We weren't sure which one you needed—" James began, but Felicity stopped him.

"This one," she plucked a jar of salve from Gemma's arms, along with a bottle from James', which she knew to be a sleeping draught. "Thank you."

Gemma shrugged before dumping the remainder of products on James's desk, not wanting to go downstairs again. James sighed but followed suit, knowing he would just put them away tomorrow.

Felicity rubbed the salve onto the large and small cuts, taking precaution as to not hurt Sirius. After rubbing her hands on the towel that lay between them, she uncorked the draught and held it out to him to drink.

He eyed her mysteriously but drank anyways. "What was that?" James asked after Sirius had drank the bottle.

"Sleeping draught," Felicity said simply.

"Why would you give me a sleeping draught?" Sirius asked suddenly, looking panicked. "I feel fine! And my arm is only a little sore." He tried to swing it around for emphasis, but he winced when it got over his head.

"Sirius," said James, his voice hard. "Listen to the healer. If she says sleeping draught, then you need a sleeping draught.

Gemma stepped in and rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Sirius."

"You need to rest," implored Felicity. "Your bones are in the proper places but they need to heal and reset completely overnight. I've seen Madame Pomfrey do it plenty of times."

Sirius tried to look at James and Gemma to gain some leeway, but they both raised their eyebrows questioningly.

"Do what the damn girl says," James said, his voice oddly serious. "Tomorrow you can do whatever you want. But tonight you're staying in bed."

Sirius groaned from his spot on the bed.

"Don't be a wanker, Sirius," Gemma said, stepping forward. "It's almost two in the morning. Be a normal person and just go to sleep."

"Not like I have a choice," said Sirius groggily, fluffing his pillows as best he could.

"Alright, that's the best I can do for now." Felicity stood from the bed, about to walk towards the door when Sirius grabbed her hand.

"Please don't leave me along with him," Sirius said, giving a pointed look at James, who seemed offended by his statement.

"And what is wrong with my handsome face?" said James.

Sirius yawned, his eyes drooping shut slightly, the effects of the sleeping draught kicking in. "Not as pretty as Fea."

Felicity held her breath, wondering if James or Gemma would notice the drop of her nickname, but neither seemed to notice.

"You mean," Gemma said, a hint of anger in her voice. "Felicity and Gemma. We look identical."

"Nope, nope!" Sirius shook his head back and forth. He was fighting the effects of the potion by trying to keep himself awake, but it wasn't working in his favour for he seemed in a sort of daze. "Her eyes are prettier."

Gemma rolled her eyes but didn't say anything more. Felicity was blushing slightly, but kept silent and not but a couple moments later, Sirius was snoring. Felicity quickly let go of Sirius' hand, trying to keep the blush off her face. What had gotten into her? But more importantly, what had gotten into Sirius? He never gave her the time of day. She walked out of the room and back down the stairs, knowing that she wanted to go home to her own bed. James and Gemma followed, but slower as they each gave each other a knowing look.

"You don't think…" Gemma whispered.

"Sirius?" James asked.

"Not with my sister, he doesn't," said Gemma in a forceful whisper, as they both descended the stairs. They both knew how he could be with women, loving their attention before he got bored and tossed them aside.

Felicity was already waiting outside, grimacing about the thought of getting back on the broom to go home. As Gemma hugged James goodbye, Felicity shivered.

"See you Gem, Felicity."

"See you soon, James," Gemma said as a reply.

"Have a good rest of your summer," said Felicity, knowing that she wouldn't see him until the 1st.

James smiled as the two girls mounted the broom and flew off into the night. As they grew farther and farther away, he waved in farewell before going back inside and falling asleep in the guest bedroom.


	3. Chapter 2

The 1st of September marked the day that the Hogwarts Express would leave platform 9 ¾ at exactly 11 am to bring its students to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Most students were overjoyed at the thought of going back to school and getting to see their friends again. Most parents held back their tears as they sent off their children for another year, only getting to see them at Christmas break.

Felicity Barnett was not one of those people.

The thought of going back for her last year was frightening. She dreaded all the school work that the teachers would give and the NEWT exams that would follow in June. She desperately wanted to go back to her beach chair and lay in the sun, school be damned.

Her sister, Gemma, on the other hand, was plenty excited. Gemma loved the idea of school because there was always limited supervision. Sure, she had to go to classes all day and do the homework, but in the evenings she was able to do whatever she wanted. Whether that be playing Quidditch, wandering the castle looking for new hideouts or simply conversing with her friends, she was content with Hogwarts and never wanted to leave.

"Mother and father always get so upset when you two leave," Vivian said, the morning that Gemma and Felicity were to leave. She was in the process of intricately braiding Felicity's hair, something that Vivian loved to do and Felicity loved to have done. "It's like a disaster zone," she continued. "For at least two days before they calm down and go back to normal."

Gemma laughed. "You'd think after 7 years of doing this they would become better at it."

"They will have to deal with it again in two years. Penelope might get a letter and have to go as well." Felicity said, as she rose to look at her hair in the mirror. "Perfect, Vivian, as always." She smiled at her sister.

"My turn!" As she spoke, Gemma jumped up and went to Felicity's old spot at the end of Vivian's bed so that her hair could be braided as well. After 7 years of braiding hair for the first day of school, Vivian was used to it and the girls thought of it as tradition.

Vivian laughed at Gemma's enthusiasm. "Hurry up and sit still or we'll be late!" She chided.

Felicity couldn't help but giggle. As she finished packing the rest of her things into her trunks, she slid her wand into her knee high socks, tucking a new leather bound book under her arm that Vivian had given her.

"Girls!" they heard their mother yell from down the stairs. "We'd better get a move on if we're to make that train!" The smile that erupted from Gemma was hard to miss as she tried to jump off the bed. Vivian quickly tugged on her hair, making her still, until the hair band had been secured into place. Vivian mumbled under her breathe about ungrateful sisters, a smirk on her face.

"Vivian!" Gemma cried, aghast. "Thank you so much, darling, for my beautiful braided hair!" She quickly tugged Vivian into an embrace, her arms locked at her sides so she could do nothing.

"Oh, sod off Gemma!" Vivian said with a laugh to which Felicity joined in. The girls joked as they brought the trunks down the stairs with them, already in their school robes per their mother's instructions.

Alice Barnett was not the type of woman to cross. She was short, small in figure but she had one massive temper when you got her started. Her hair was cut to above her shoulders, blonde like the rest of the girls, her eyes a calming brown. The laugh lines and wrinkles showed her age to the world but she thought herself young at heart. Darwin Barnett was something else entirely, a massive jokester who always got into trouble. His head was bald, with no hair left to fall out. The glasses he wore hid his hazel eyes, which would always spark with excitement when an opportunity came along for fun. He was rather tall and thin, yet could eat his weight in home cooked desserts.

Felicity always laughed when people asked about her muggle parents, because it was interesting trying to describe them. The scolding mother who smothered her children and the outgoing father who would rather play all day then go to work.

As the girls shoved their trunks in the car and the cage carrying Gemma's owl Bernice in the backseat, Mrs. Barnett came out of the house, Melody in her arms. "Alright girls," she said in a low voice as to not wake up the baby. "Quick picture before we're off."

As was tradition in the Barnett household, Vivian, Gemma, Felicity, Penelope and Melody all stood on the steps of the house, while Mrs. Barnett took their photo. She had all the pictures of them throughout the years hung in the hallway that led to the kitchen, much to their embarrassment.

As the picture taking ended and Gemma started to say goodbye to her sisters, Felicity quickly dashed into the house.

"Felicity, where are you going?" Mrs. Barnett questioned a hint of franticness in her voice. "We have to leave!"

"Just a quick run to the loo, or I won't make it to the station!" Was Felicity's reply. When she got the bathroom, she quickly shut the door and locked it, thanking Merlin that her mother hadn't made her go back outside.

Living in a house of 7 people meant that you hardly got a moment to yourself; there was always someone who needed a hand. So, for a moment, Felicity merely stared into the mirror.

She somehow found it relaxing, just gazing at herself. There was no one talking or shouting things, no one making noise. Just her thoughts running about in her head.

Felicity's gaze raked over her completion, brown after so many days in the sun. When she was younger she was afraid the freckles on her face would always be there but now, she found that she loved them. They dotted all over her nose and cheek bones. She touched the faint scar on her chin, from when she'd fallen as a child while riding her bike with Gemma; they had crashed into each other. While Felicity got a scar, Gemma walked away unhurt. She looked at her blonde hair, smoothing down the smaller pieces that were trying to get loose of her French braids, one on each side of her head. Lastly, she gazed into her eyes, wondering if anyone could look at her and see someone of worth.

"This year is going to be different," Felicity vowed to herself. "School work be damned! Well, to an extent." She sighed, feeling stupid talking to herself, but she knew that she needed this talk or else nothing would ever change. "This year you are going to put yourself out there. This year, is going to be amazing. It has to be."

The look in her eyes made her feel uncertain about her pep talk. Before she could think too much into it, she flushed the toilet and ran the faucet, keeping up the pretense that she had indeed gone to the washroom. After making her way to the door, she hugged her sisters' goodbye, gave Melody a peck on the forehead, still trying not to wake her and made her way to the car.

"Now Vivian," Mrs. Barnett said quickly, trying to get last minute advice out. "When Mellie wakes up then give her the bottle I left in the fridge. But make sure to heat it up! Test it on your skin so it's not too hot. But also not too cold! Penny, make sure you help your sister if she needs it, no running off and hiding in your fathers office with a book! We'll be back in a couple hours; try and get along!"

Vivian and Penelope both nodded quickly, waving goodbye. "Have a good year!" Penny yelled, waving her arm enthusiastically. "See you at Christmas! Bring me back some chocolate frogs!"

"We will!" Gemma promised, sticking her head out the window and waving goodbye as the car pulled out of the drive. They were finally on their way back. 

When the Barnett family finally arrived at the train station, it was madness.

Of course they had made it there early, Mrs. Barnett always panicked that they would be late but every year they were always perfectly on time. The station was filled with people, normal Muggles going about their days, along with witches and wizards who were headed to platform 9 ¾.

The family passed through the entrance, Mrs. Barnett pushing a trolley with Felicity while Mr. Barnett was sharing a laugh with Gemma. It wasn't long before James and Sirius showed up with James' parents.

"OI! Gemma!" James shouted, rushing over to where the Barnett family stood. The boys were both pushing their trolleys, while Charles and Emily Potter walked behind them, holding hands.

It was always interesting to see James' parents, as they were an older couple. Charles had a full head of greying hair, salt and pepper coloured, his glasses pushed lower down his nose. He was always calm and knowing, as far as Gemma told her. Emily Potter was tall and lean; she had played Quidditch professionally before having James. Felicity figured that was why Gemma loved being around her so much. Her grey hair was pulled up into a neat bun, one that Felicity wished she could achieve effortlessly.

As James and Sirius chatted with Gemma about their latest round of Quidditch that they had played that morning, Felicity's parents talked with the Potters.

"Ah, Charles, Emily," Mr. Barnett said in his deep voice, reaching out his hand to shake Mr. Potter's.

"How wonderful to see you two again," Mrs. Barnett chimed in.

Mrs. Potter asked about how Melody was doing and Mrs. Barnett pulled out the photos from her purse that she always carried around, showing them off. Felicity knew the speech that was coming; how Mrs. Barnett had been up all night with pain before her water broke and Mr. Barnett rushed her to the hospital. How the girls were made to stay home until Mr. Barnett could come back and get them to see the baby.

At that point, Felicity tuned it all out. With 4 sisters, you certainly got good at making the noise around you disappear. She looked the other way, down the long platform that held many families, telling their children last minute things as they boarded the train. There was 15 minutes before the train left, plenty of time to get aboard and find a spot to sit. Felicity kept her eye out for Lily or Marlene, hoping that she could spot one of them soon so she wouldn't be forced to stand and stare off into the distance while the others talked.

She hadn't even noticed that someone was talking to her until she saw a hand wave in front of her face. Felicity quickly glanced to the person who was waving to get her attention and came close to smacking heads with non-other than Sirius Black.

She hadn't thought about him much (only at least once a day), wondering what he would say to her or if anything would be different between them. Felicity figured that she must have made up most of what happened in her head, for he didn't try to contact her again. But as she stared into his grey eyes, she knew that some of it must have been real.

"I'm sorry?" She said, not hearing what he had said.

Sirius smirked at her, his eyes dancing with laughter. "I asked how your summer was." It was odd, that he was indeed talking to her, asking about her summer. They had barely spoken a couple words to each other before. Of course, James and Sirius were usually always around Gemma, but they never had conversations. Felicity wasn't even sure that she had spoken to him at all over the years.

She shrugged, unsure of what to tell him. "It was good, spent most of it at the beach."

"As per usual," he said in reply, nodding his head. Felicity had a usual summer? How did he know what her usual was?

"How was your summer?" She asked, keeping the conversation polite, stealing a glance down the platform, hoping to see Lily so she could escape.

"Mine was fantastic. Glad to be out of that hell house and with the Potters now. James and I mostly planned pranks and played Quidditch."

Felicity nodded, not knowing what else to say. She wasn't even sure she wanted to talk to Sirius, from her standpoint they weren't even really friends. More like acquaintances, if there was to be a word to describe them. She was mostly scared that he would bring up the letter that he had sent and she would have to come up with some kind of excuse as to why she didn't write back.

When Sirius put his hand on her arm to get her attention, she couldn't help but gaze up into his eyes. She never noticed how grey his eyes were before, almost like something out of a story book. It was as if his eyes were made out of rain clouds.

"Felicity, I-"

"Oi, Sirius, come say goodbye to the rents! Mums getting teary!" James said, pulling Sirius towards the direction of Mrs. Potter without a second thought.

Sirius shrugged and smirked, as if to say, _sorry, nothing I can do about that_ , before turning and making his way towards Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

In a daze, Felicity turned and said goodbye to her own parents, promising to write often. "Goodbye Mama! Bye Papa! Will see you soon!" The girls kept up a string of goodbyes as they boarded the train and began to get settled into a compartment. Felicity gazed out the window, waving to her parents as she settled in, knowing it was going to be a long year.


	4. Chapter 3

"James Potter! Heady Boy! Can you believe it?!"

It had been a week since they had gotten back to Hogwarts and it was if Lily couldn't stop talking about James. While Felicity was trying to get the duo of James and Sirius out of her head (which was harder than expected, since they were always together and always around Gemma), they had been up to no good the whole week, pranking anyone that crossed their path. It seemed as if they didn't care about the detentions that they were receiving as long as they got a laugh out of it.

"It's been a week and he has barely said two words to me! Usually he's asking me out left and right but this year he's been ignoring me! It seems as if I can't even get a civil conversation out. Fea, are you even listening to me?" asked Lily as they walked towards their potions class. "You seem to be awfully out of it since school started."

Mainly because all Lily talked about was James, and Felicity didn't want to keep thinking about Sirius.

He had been friendly enough. Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary, like she thought would happen. It was if the incident during the summer didn't even exist. Perhaps she was so lost in her thoughts was because she wished something had come out of it. But, this was Sirius Black, she thought. Who would really want anything to do with him and his womanizing ways? But who could resist those deep grey eyes…

"I just…" Felicity began, trying to think up an excuse, but she stopped herself. What was the point? She knew that she could tell Lily anything. She scrambled for something to say that wasn't about Sirius. Felicity wasn't ready to divulge that just yet. "I feel as if I haven't done enough while at Hogwarts. I've been so focused on studying and good marks for 6 years, that I'm now in my final year and I feel as if I'm falling back into the rhythm when I don't want to."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm not sure I understand."

Felicity sighed, her breath coming out in a loud rushing noise. How could she explain so that someone could understand? She wasn't even sure she understood herself. "I've always wanted good grades and to get into the healing program at St. Mungo's so badly that I've pushed everything else aside for it. And now I'm here again and I don't want to. I want to have fun and…" She let the thought trail off as Lily gave her a pitying look. "I'm not trying to sound mean because I do enjoy studying with you Lily, I just wish I could be more like Gemma. Fun and care-free."

As the girls walked into the classroom, Felicity glanced at Gemma, who was laughing so hard she was holding her side, because of something that James had said to her. Gemma didn't have to worry about her grades or schooling; she knew that as soon as she graduated that she had a secured spot on her favourite Quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies. Their parents had been so proud when she'd told them that she'd had offers and was going to accept. They had been recruiting her since last year.

Lily linked their arms as she steered them towards a table. "If you were more like Gemma then you wouldn't be who you are. Kind, intelligent, caring; I wouldn't ever want to change you because you are something so special, Fea."

Felicity smiled at Lily, genuinely happy from her words. "Lily you are so wonderful, you're like a sister to me-"

"Because you don't have enough of those already!" Both the girls giggled at Lily's comment. "Tonight's Friday, let's do something fun. Something different."

Felicity must have visibly perked up at this because Lily's smile grew. "Really? What did you have in mind?"

Lily smirked. "I've got a few ideas. We'll go drop our things off at the dorm after our last class and we'll head out. There's a couple things _I've_ always wanted to do but never got the chance."

Felicity was suddenly scared yet intrigued at the same time. What was it that Lily was planning?

They took their spots near the front of the class, second row, farthest to the left. This was Felicity's favourite spot. For when McGonagall's lectures became boring, she could stare out the window to her hearts content. The view was of the lake and the surrounding Forbidden Forest, but with the weather always changing, it offered great scenery.

Felicity knew she needed to pass this class to get her NEWT's, along with a couple others if she hoped to be a healer. But she also knew that McGonagall's lectures could always be found in a textbook or Lily's notes.

Just as class was about to start, James and Sirius began to roar with laughter. Everyone turned to see what the commotion was all about, including Felicity and Lily.

The Marauders sat at the back of the classroom, Gemma included. But as Felicity tore her gaze off the boys to glace at Gemma, she had to do a double take. Gemma looked a bit shocked by their sudden outburst. Upon her face, in the place where her eyebrows should have been, sat two fuzzy caterpillars.

By this point, most of the class was snickering at her, while the boys continued with their laughter.

"Is there something on my face?" Gemma asked, patting her cheeks and then continuing to smooth down her hair. From the confused look on her face, she had no idea what was going on or what could possibly be so funny. Felicity thought she seemed a little self-conscious and wondered how that could possibly be, since it seemed that Gemma never was.

At her words, the whole class erupted in laughter, at the exact moment that McGonagall came through the doors.

"Now class, settle down," she began, walking to the front of the classroom, preparing for another lecture. A couple of students were still trying to hold in their laughs, while James and Sirius were still making a ruckus.

It was funny to Felicity, who was trying to hold in a snicker of her own. The caterpillars looked long and fuzzy, giving Felicity a chill. She wondered how angry Gemma would be when she found out; and also secretly hoped that she was never on the receiving end of one of James and Sirius' pranks. Gemma was closer to them than Felicity was, and yet she was the one with caterpillars on her face.

McGonagall stood, commanding the class's attention. "Black, Potter," she said, walking back towards them. "Stop the nonsense already; I have a class to teach." It was when she gasped that Felicity knew she had seen Gemma. There was stillness in the classroom while McGonagall regained her composure. With a swift flick of her wand, Gemma's eyebrows were back to normal. "Now you two," she said, turning towards Sirius and James. "I presume you're the culprits. Detention for a week."

A couple students giggled. _Of course_ James and Sirius played a prank, and _of course_ they were going to get detention for it. But that didn't stop them from trying to get out of it.

"But professor, how could you possibly know it was us?" challenged Sirius. "Did anyone actually see who changed Gemma's eyebrows?" The class was quiet.

"It could have been anyone," James continued. "We just found it highly amusing."

McGonagall sighed, already worn down by the two of them, during the first class of the morning. She turned towards the rest of the class. "Did anyone see who turned Miss Barnett's eyebrows into caterpillars?" At McGonagall's words, Gemma's hands flew to her face, her expression confused at who could ever want to prank her.

The class looked around at each other; no one actually knowing who it was that committed the act. Peter tried to raise his hand, but James elbowed him in the ribs before McGonagall could see and sent him a mean glare.

"Fine. Even though _I_ know you've done it and _you_ know you've done it." McGonagall said, walking back towards the front of the classroom. "Now, if everyone is settled and the shenanigans are finished, let's begin."

* * *

It wasn't until later, as Felicity wandered up the stairs towards the common room that she finally let herself get excited about heading out with Lily. She wasn't sure what was going to happen but she knew the possibilities were endless. In the time that she had known Lily, 6 years going on 7, she had never known the girl to have an adventurous bone in her body.

When an arm slid around her shoulders she immediately froze and stopped walking. Looking up, she came face to face with Sirius. Felicity let out the breathe she was holding and shrugged him arm off her shoulder before continuing on her walk towards the common room.

"Is that any way to treat a friend?" asked Sirius incredulously, as he strolled to catch up to her.

"I didn't know we were friends," was her reply. "And besides, only really good friends get to sneak up on me, give me a heart attack and put their arms around my shoulders."

Sirius smirked. "So I guess that makes us really good friends then."

Felicity sneaked a peek at Sirius and saw he was staring at her. She rolled her eyes and sighed, faking it to break their eye contact. She was starting to find that if she looked at him too long, she forgot to breathe. "I'm not sure what we are but we are definitely not friends."

Sirius put his hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "Why would you say that? You saved me that night; the least we are is friends."

Felicity let out a snort. "Sirius, this is the first time that we've actually had a real conversation."

"So let's have them more often!"

"It's not that simple. We don't talk, we have different friends. I spend my time with Lily in the library and you spend your time with your weird friends and my sister getting into trouble. We don't have the same interests, we're even in different classes."

Sirius was shaking his head before Felicity had even finished her speech. "We do talk, sometimes. I talked to you in the summer and again when we got to King's Cross. I regularly see you, in the common rooms, corridors, classes and even during meals in the great hall!"

Felicity stopped walking and turned to Sirius. "So what are you saying?"

He grinned and took a step towards her so there was less space between them. "I'm saying that I'd like for us to be friends."

"And why would you want to be friends with me?"

"You interest me, Felicity Barnett."

 _What was that even supposed to mean?!_ She thought. She interested him or she was interesting to him? She felt like a bug on the pavement that he had happened upon and was intrigued by.

When Felicity still didn't say anything, Sirius continued. "I'm just saying I'd like to be friends. I'm not trying to trick you into anything."

She hadn't even thought that he might have been tricking her. He seemed sincere but now she was on edge. Felicity didn't want to end up with caterpillar eyebrows like Gemma.

"Fine, we can _try_ being friends. But no funny business!"

Sirius smirked and put his arm around her shoulders again. "Now, _friend_ , let me walk you to the common room."

Felicity glanced at Sirius. "Actually, I'd better hurry. I'm supposed to meet Lily."

"What if I proposed we did something tonight instead of you studying with Lily in the library?"

Felicity was taken aback. She didn't expect Sirius to suddenly want to do something and she had already made her plans with Lily, whatever they were.

"I'm sorry, but we're actually not studying. She's planned some kind of surprise."

Sirius himself seemed surprised at her words. "A surprise? Well I love surprises. You don't mind if I come along, friend?"

Felicity could hear the smirk in his voice and didn't know what to say. "Well, Lily's the one-"

"Perfect! Leave Lily to me. Should I invite James too? I think that's a good idea. He loves surprises too."

Felicity knew that as soon as Sirius mentioned James, Lily wouldn't be able to say no. But she hoped for her life that she did. She wasn't sure if she was ready or wanted to be Sirius' friend.

As soon as the two arrived at the common room, Lily was upon them. She gave Felicity a sideways glance, before registering that she was indeed walking in with Sirius. Lily's eyebrows raised but she didn't question it. "Are you ready to go Fea?"

Before Felicity could say anything, Sirius jutted in. "Actually Felicity invited James and I on this surprise. I'll just go grab him and we'll be off!"

Sirius went to go grab James off the couch, where he had been playing a game of wizard's chess with Peter. Remus was curled up in the arm chair, going over his transfiguration book.

Lily immediately pounced on Felicity. "You invited them?" she whispered.

"No! He invited himself! I didn't know what to say!" Felicity shot back, her whispering not as quiet as Lily's.

"You should have said no!"

"Everything alright ladies?" said Sirius, coming up behind them.

"Yes, everything's fine!" Felicity said quickly. "Lily was just going to show us the way."

Lily shot Felicity a glare, before grabbing her arm and pulling her out through the portrait hole, the two boys following behind. There was silence as Lily whispered things to herself, cutting around corners and taking them down staircases. They walked passed the Great Hall and out towards the lake.

"Lily, what are we doing?"

"Shhh!" she said, pulling Felicity along with her. Sirius and James exchanged glances of confusion.

The sun was still out and warmed Felicity's body. In her robes, she was almost hot trying to keep up with Lily. There was a slight breeze that came every now and then, and she could hear Gemma as she sat by the large tree on the shore of the lake. She was chatting with some Ravenclaw girls that Felicity knew to be on the opposing Quidditch team.

As they reached the edge of the lake, Lily stopped and turned towards the others. Felicity was overly confused at what was happening.

"Lily, what's the surprise? Where's the adventure?" Felicity asked, glancing around them. It wasn't a couple seconds after she had asked her question that someone from behind lifted her up and threw her into the lake.

The water was colder than she would have expected, and it surrounded her quickly. She knew she had dropped her bag, but she wasn't sure if it was in the water or on land. Felicity came up for air and stood, the water was only up to her chest. "BLOODY HELL SOMEONE IS GOING TO PAY!"

Suddenly there was a splash beside her and Lily came up right beside her. "I've always wanted to jump into the lake!" she said excitedly

"ARE YOU MAD? WHAT ABOUT THE BLOODY SQUID?" Felicity shouted, trying to get out of the water.

James and Sirius stood on the shore, laughing together. They both gave each other a quick look before jumping in beside Lily and Felicity, splashing them in the process.

The girls squealed at the cold water being splashed at them. Sirius came up behind Felicity and lifted her, before throwing her into the water again. When she came up for air, the three of them were laughing. Felicity couldn't help but smile.

"I'll bloody kill you Sirius Black, mark my words!"

Felicity's words made him laugh harder. "You? The pinnacle of all things sweet and girly?"

She stopped in the water, the smile leaving her face. Was that how people saw her? Someone who was weak? Felicity glanced over at Gemma, who was dressed in her Quidditch gear, as if she had just been practising. Her hair looked windblown and perfect in her high ponytail. Her eyes were alight as she talked and laughed.

It was stupid to be jealous of Gemma. For her looks, her confidence, her strength. Felicity thought that she should have been sorted into Hufflepuff. She wasn't brave or courageous and she certainly wasn't strong. Or at least Sirius didn't think of her that way.

Something that had started so fun and adventurous now seemed silly. Felicity quickly got out of the water, doing a quick drying spell on her robes and shoes. Thankfully, her book bag hadn't gotten wet.

"Felicity what's wrong?" Lily asked, climbing out of the water.

"Nothing, just have to go get some things done. I'll see you after, yeah?" Felicity wanted to get out of there as soon as she could.

She started to walk away when Sirius spoke. "Felicity, wait!" She turned and he came up to her, worry in his eyes. He was still soaked, his hair dripped water in the space between them. "Was it something I said?"

Felicity gave him her best fake smile before answering. "No Sirius. It's not you, it's me." And that was how she left him, as she made her way back up to the castle.


	5. Chapter 4

**Hope everyone has a great holiday season. xx**

* * *

The problem with leaving the lake so suddenly was that Felicity was leaving James and Sirius with Lily. And although she probably didn't mind being left with James, Lily was a little more upset that she was left with Sirius' questions.

"He wouldn't leave me alone the whole time we walked back to the common room!" Lily vented that evening as they were getting ready for bed. Gemma and Marlene were already fast asleep, as it was close to midnight. "He kept asking questions about you and if you were alright, what he did wrong, it was very annoying!"

"Lily, he's bonkers! He wants to be my friend but calls me week and girly."

"Why do you care what he thinks?" Lily asked skeptically.

Felicity stopped short. Why did she care? She glanced at Lily who raised her eyebrow.

"I figure if that's what he thinks then everyone must think that about me. I don't want to be seen as weak and girly! I want to be seen as confident and strong and fierce." Felicity felt bad bending the truth and not telling Lily, but she wasn't even sure of her own emotions, how could she possibly be expected to explain them to someone else? And it's not like what she had said wasn't true. She did want to feel like someone of importance instead of just the girl who stayed in the background.

Felicity had promised herself that 7th year would be different. She worried that she would go back to her usual ways and forget about what she really wanted.

"Felicity, you're trying to be someone that you're not. I don't think it's going to end well."

"Lily," Felicity said, stopping the redhead from brushing the rest of her hair. She grabbed her hands and held them in her own. "I'm not trying to change who I am. I'm still the same girl who wants to work at St. Mungos and become a healer. I'm still me. I just crave adventure. I want to be able to look back on this year and know that I made every moment count."

Lily's green eyes met her own hazel ones and the girls shared a look before Lily broke the contact. "I suppose so. But if you get too out of hand, especially with your new _friend_ , then I'm stepping in and bringing you back down to earth."

Felicity smiled and hugged her friend. "Deal."

* * *

The next morning, Felicity made her way down to the Hospital Wing to see Madame Pomfrey. The conversation was quick, they both agreed that Felicity was to come to the Hospital Wing during her free periods on Tuesday's and Thursday's, to help out around and gain experience when required.

She walked out of the Hospital Wing feeling good and nearly ran into Isabella Aubrey, a 6th year Ravenclaw who Felicity knew from her connections at the Hospital Wing. Felicity and Isabella got along fairly well; they always had something to talk about. Whether it was Felicity's sisters, or Isabella's twin Bertram, the hours at the Hospital Wing always seemed to go faster when Isabella was there.

"Sorry! I didn't even see you!" Felicity exclaimed, picking up her things that had been strewn all about. She glanced up at Isabella, who was smiling as she picked up the papers that had been in her arms.

"That's quite alright," said Isabella. "I wasn't watching where I was going!"

The girls shared a quick laugh before they both straightened up. "Volunteering at the Hospital Wing again this year?" asked Felicity.

"Yes!" Isabella exclaimed. "I'm hoping to log in more hours than last year. I need all the help I can get if I want to get into St. Mungos!"

"I'm sure you will do fine! I'll see you around, yeah?"

Isabella smiled at Felicity. "Of course! See you later!" She waved at Felicity before going into the Hospital Wing.

Felicity knew that Isabella would go in and ask when Felicity had her hours so they could spend at least some of the time together, so she knew she would see Isabella around.

When she was almost halfway to the Great Hall, she crossed paths with Gemma.

"Ah, just the sister I was looking to see!" exclaimed Gemma.

Felicity rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. One could never _not_ smile around Gemma; her happiness seemed to be infectious. "How are you Gem?"

Gemma hooked her arm through Felicity's. "I should be asking you. Have you seen the paper yet this morning?"

Felicity shook her head, a lump growing in her throat. She knew what was coming. "Was it anyone we knew?" It was Gemma's turn to shake her head. "Tell me what happened, I don't want to have to read about it."

"They broke into the Muggleborn's houses, did some kind of weird ritual and killed them all. Seemed like a random attack, but two of the five families had kids here. One in Hufflepuff, one in Ravenclaw. Two of the other families had children with connections to the ministry. Guess they weren't as random as everyone thinks."

"That's so horrible!"

Gemma looked grim as she nodded her head. "The one was a second year girl, in Hufflepuff. She lost her parents and her younger sister. The other was a fifth year boy, the one in Ravenclaw. They say he lost his parents and 3 younger siblings. One was supposed to come to Hogwarts next year."

The thought of losing family made Felicity feel sick. "Did you-?"

"Yeah, I sent them an owl as soon as I heard," Gemma said, referring to their family. "I told them maybe they should head out to the cabin for a couple weeks, until things die down a bit more. But you know how mom is, and Vi and Penny are in school so they won't want to leave."

"It's not about wanting to leave," replied Felicity. "This isn't a game anymore, he's going after families. And I don't think it's going to die down, I think it's going to get worse."

The two girls walked into the Great Hall and took seats together, something that they always did on Saturday's and Sunday's. It was ritual almost, the boys and Lily always liked to sleep in later, so the two girls ate breakfast together and chatted about their weeks. At first the conversation stayed on the families and how they could convince their own to flee to safety. But as they kept going, the conversation strayed to happier subjects.

"They made James Quidditch Captain."

"Really?" exclaimed Felicity. "So he's Quidditch Captain and Head Boy?"

Gemma shook her head in disbelief. "They must think this head isn't big enough as it is. His ego lately has been through the roof."

Felicity spooned some oatmeal into her mouth and chewed before answering. "How has he been as captain?"

"He's been tolerable so far," Gemma answered, rolling her eyes. "He keeps saying that this year is going to be our year. But the captains have been saying that every year as far as I can remember. I think he just wants to win so bad that he'll do anything. He's got loads of practises lined up in the next couple weeks and tryouts are this afternoon."

"Who do you play first game?"

Gemma shrugged. "Beats me."

"We play Hufflepuff before All Hallows Eve and Ravenclaw afterwards," said James as he sat down beside Gemma. His hair was ruffled and his glasses looked uneven on his tired face.

"Are you thinking of coming to some games?" asked Sirius as he sat beside Felicity. She turned to answer him but was struck by how alert and awake he seemed. His hair was hanging around his face in its usual scruffy fashion, but the smile that adorned his face as he looked at Felicity seemed to be real. Was he excited at the thought of her coming to games?

"I'm not sure yet, I suppose it depends when they are," Felicity spoke carefully, as to not promise anything that she couldn't keep.

She knew that she didn't like Quidditch as much as Gemma did, but she also didn't mind watching it every now and then.

"I'll let you know the specific dates… I think there's one a Friday night and a Saturday afternoon."

Felicity smiled at him and Sirius smiled back. Maybe she wasn't imagining things. Perhaps Sirius was truly interested in her. "Perfect, if you can get me the dates, I'll make sure I come."

Sirius grinned over at her. Suddenly his eyes lit up and he turned his whole body towards her. "What are your plans today, Felicity?"

"Lily and I were going to go for a walk around the grounds before it gets too cold and then I think we were going to head to the Library to start that Potions essay."

Sirius clapped his hands, gaining James' and Gemma's attention. "Perfect, it's settled then! You and Lily will come to watch the tryouts!"

Immediately James' head snapped up from his food. "Unless you don't want Lily there," Felicity said casually.

James shook his head vigorously. "I've been ignoring her for weeks and I know it's getting to her. Going for our patrol every night is awkward because I never say anything. But I think my strategy is working."

"What strategy is that?" Gemma asked skeptically.

"Playing hard to get," said James, dusting off his robes and trying to look superior.

The three of them burst into laughter, making a couple people turn to see what was so funny.

"Mate," Sirius said in a serious tone. "It takes more than ignoring them to make them fall for you."

James waved his hands. "Yes I know but at least this is a good start."

"Just talk to her," Felicity implored. "She's going crazy not knowing what you are thinking."

James suddenly seemed overly interested in Felicity. He pushed Gemma down the bench more so he could be directly across the table from her. "Do go on. I'd love to hear what she's thinking."

Gemma rolled her eyes. "Don't be daft. Felicity and Lily are best friends. She's not going to tell you squat."

Felicity smiled. "Gemma has a point." Gemma looked triumphant at her words. "Here's some advice; just talk to her. Don't ask her out. Don't fawn over her. Ask her how her classes are going and if she's enjoying this year so far. What she's looking forward to and what she isn't. Just get to know her James, that's all she's ever wanted."

James looked put down that he hasn't thought of these things himself, but agreed none the less. The four of them ate breakfast before going their separate ways. James, Gemma and Sirius were headed to the Quidditch pitch to get ready for tryouts that would start in an hour and Felicity went to the common room, equipped with a scone for Lily as a way to convince her that they should go to the tryouts.

Felicity was halfway up the stairs when Sirius shouted her name. She turned and saw him standing half in and half out of the door. "Don't forget, be there in an hour!" Felicity laughed but gave him a thumbs up and waved as she continued on her way to the common room.


	6. Chapter 5

Felicity gave the password to the Fat Lady, who was not in the best mood after getting a bad sleep the night before and walked into the common room. This was one of the places she loved most as it felt so homey and cozy. There were a couple students gathered round the fire that seemed to be going, even in September.

She bravely climbed the stairs, hoping that Lily was awake and did not require to be woken. Felicity wasn't sure if she was up for it today and thought about just letting the girl sleep. It was Saturday after all and they had stayed up late to chat.

Felicity creaked open the door and found that Lily was still in bed, the curtains drawn shut to not let any light in. Marlene was in the process of making her bed when she spotted Felicity and put a finger to her lips.

"She's still asleep," Marlene mouthed, not making a sound.

Felicity let out a silent groan. She set the scone on Lily's side table along with a note saying that when she woke to come down to the Quidditch pitch. There was a quick thought that crossed her mind that maybe she should wake Lily, but as Marlene fled the room, Felicity knew that she didn't want to be the one to be in a room with a hibernating bear, who would not be in the best of moods to be awoken early on a Saturday.

Grabbing a sweater so she wouldn't be cold, she exited the dormitory and began her descent down the stairs.

When Sirius arrived on the pitch he felt at ease. Quidditch was always something that came easy to him and he had always enjoyed it. When he was in the air it was as if nothing else mattered; he forgot his worries and qualms.

He breathed in the fresh air and looked at the people who had come out to try and join the team. There were a couple of second years, two third years and a gaggle of fourth years. If anything, they all looked wimpy. Alas, James needed two positions filled; a chaser and a keeper.

"Alright everyone," James said to grab the group's attention. "Let's get into the air and see how everyone is on a broom. If I don't think you're suitable enough then you'll leave before we even get started."

Sirius grinned and let out a laugh. He loved the idea of James being Quidditch captain for the sole fact that he could intimidate anyone he wanted. As much as Sirius would have loved the gig himself, he knew the work that came with it and was not interested in scheduling practices and being in charge of running drills.

"Mount up!" James shouted before soaring into the sky. Sirius was nearly dead on his tails.

Out of the corner of his eye, he finally spotted Felicity. She had turned up later than he would have expected but at least she had turned up at all. She took an empty seat beside Remus and Peter, who he had convinced to watch as well.

Throughout the tryouts, Sirius tried to stay focused but seemed to be failing miserably. He kept missing the beater that was flying past him every so often and could see James snickering whenever he turned towards him. Finally he just floated in mid-air and decided to watch the players. He knew that at least if he had his back turned on her, that he wouldn't get distracted again.

The thought was good in practice but didn't work in the slightest. The wind seemed to carry her laugh and he could hear snippets of the conversation that she was having with Remus. They were talking about the upcoming Ancient Runes essay that they had both started, comparing the aspects of it. He was increasingly growing annoyed. Shouldn't they be watching the tryouts?

When he did focus back on the pitch, it seemed as if James had booted half the kids that had come out. Sirius supposed he could understand why they were talking about Ancient Runes then. This tryout was seriously boring.

Mostly, he just wanted Felicity's attention.

When Gemma flew up beside him he changed his thoughts immediately. Gemma had been perfectly clear that Sirius and Felicity were to strictly stay friends. He understood where she was coming from; he didn't have the best track record with girls. But there was something different about Felicity and he enjoyed it. She didn't fawn over him, she didn't follow him around, and she wasn't constantly trying to get his attention. He liked that she focused on herself and couldn't be bothered by anything trivial.

"I thought I'd find you over here sooner or later," Gemma said with a grim expression, glancing behind to wave at Felicity, who had shouted "Go Gem!" at the moment she had flown up.

"It's not what you think-"

Gemma sighed, turning her body towards him. "Sirius I know you. Sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself. But I swear to Merlin if you hurt my sister, I won't be able to forgive you."

The breeze fluttered through Sirius's hair as he tried to think of a reasonable response to give Gemma. "I'm not sure what to say," he said, chancing a quick glance back at Felicity. She saw and smiled at him, giving him a wave. Her smile seemed infectious; it instantly brought his spirits higher. Sirius smiled and waved back, before turning his attention to Gemma once again. "I don't see her as some pretty face and a quick shag, Gem. She's interesting, she's smart. I don't know what it is about her, but I just know I want to know more." Sirius smirked at Gemma's dumbfounded expression. "Curious, isn't it? The one person who I thought I would never fancy now seems to be in my thoughts all the time."

"Yes," Gemma replied. "Very curious." Her expression was wary. "Just remember what I said."

Sirius nodded, chancing another glace in Felicity's direction, only to be entranced by her smile once more.

"What are your thoughts so far?" Remus asked, bringing Felicity out of her own thoughts.

"Not quite as exciting as an actual Quidditch game but I'm sure they are doing their best to keep it entertaining," replied Felicity.

Remus nodded at her words, but it was Peter that spoke up. "Tryouts aren't usually all that exciting because you have to weed out the ones who have skill compared to the ones who don't. Games are much better to watch because they are more 'high intensity' and usually quicker paced."

"I have to say, I'm impressed Peter!" Remus praised. "I wouldn't have said it better myself."

Peter looked proud of himself and smiled at the compliment. His smile faltered as he turned his attention back to the Quidditch pitch. "Sirius, look out!" He screamed.

All heads turned toward Sirius, who had been floating and chatting to Gemma. The bludger came quick and hit him in the shoulder, almost causing him to fall off his broom.

Profanities immediately spilled from his mouth, some quieter than others. Gemma put an arm around Sirius and began to lead him towards the ground, giving Felicity a glace that she assumed meant for her to come and heal him.

The three in the stands immediately grabbed their things and headed towards the pitch. When they got to the grounds, Sirius seemed royally angry. The look in his eyes looked livid and he was yelling at the second year, which on accident had sent the bludger his way.

"We weren't even trying out for beaters, why in the world did you think it would be a good idea to hit one! Where did you even get a bat?!" He yelled, his left arm clutching the right shoulder.

James grabbed Sirius' arm for fear that he was going to hurt the second year, who looked on the verge of tears.

"C'mon Sirius," Felicity said, stepping up and getting his attention. "Let's get you to the Hospital Wing."

The anger in Sirius seemed to fade as he turned his attention to Felicity. "You can't fix it here?" He seemed to be whining at her, which made her smile.

"Afraid not. Madame Pomfrey will want the proper paperwork and documentation done because it happened on the school grounds."

Sirius sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Remus? Peter? Bring my stuff up to the room, yeah?" The boys nodded as confirmation and Sirius began to walk towards the castle.

Felicity went to follow but Gemma grabbed her arm. "Make sure he actually goes and doesn't just head to the common room. He'll try to talk you out of it when you get close."

She smiled at her sister. "I won't Gem. I'll see you after, okay?" Gemma smiled back at her sister and nodded, before turning and walking towards Sirius, who had decided to stop and wait for her.

When she reached him, they both began their trek towards the Hospital Wing. It was quiet while they walked and Felicity didn't exactly know what to say.

"You seem to be a magnet for trouble. Have you always been this prone to getting hurt?" Felicity asked.

Sirius smirked down at her. "It's nice having a personal healer at my beck and call. She's been doing a fabulous job."

Felicity laughed at his joke. "I have a feeling that as long as I am around, I'll be fixing you up often," Felicity said with a smile.

Sirius smiled back at her, putting his non-injured arm around her shoulders. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

When the two got to the Hospital Wing; Madame Pomfrey, who was in charge of all patients and healing was nowhere to be found. Instead, Isabella was there, sorting through the different elixirs and making notes as she went along.

"Hi Isabella!" Felicity greeted, gaining the girls attention.

"Oh! Hello Felicity," Isabella said, a smile coming to her lips. "I see you've brought company."

"Trouble at the Quidditch tryouts this morning, rogue bludger," said Felicity with a laugh. Sirius looked none too pleased at her comment.

Giving Sirius a shove in his chest, she made him sit down on a bed, before trying very carefully to remove his shirt.

"Blimey, Felicity, you must love seeing me without a shirt on," said Sirius with a smug grin. "What is this? The second time?"

Isabella smirked at Sirius' words and turned to Felicity. "So this is a common occurrence then?"

Felicity could feel her face heating up at his words. Darn, she needed a witty comeback and fast. "Actually, this would be the third or fourth time _if_ we are counting. I distinctly remember you arriving for afternoon tea with Gemma and James, after practicing on your brooms, and you were definitely not wearing a shirt."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up and Isabella let out a snort of laughter. So that was not as witty as she had thought it was in her head. If her face could get any warmer, it was going to.

Felicity came back to her senses when Sirius yelped from pain. "Drats, this is giving me troubles. I'll just have to cut it off."

Sirius' head snapped up at the word 'cut off' and he immediately stood, leaving Felicity staring into this chest. "You are not cutting anything."

Felicity pushed him back down onto the bed, a slight smirk on her face. "Merlin, not your arm, Sirius. Just the damned shirt." She then turned to Isabella, whom she could tell was trying to focus on her task but was having trouble with Sirius around. "Where is Madame Pomfrey?"

"She left about 10 minutes before you came. Went to go get some tea," Isabella said, giving her shoulders a shrug.

Sighing, Felicity removed her red jumper and in turn picked up one of the extra aprons that were hanging on the back wall. Grabbing the scissors, she strode back to Sirius who looked weary.

"I know Madame Pomfrey isn't here and we can wait for her if you'd like, Merlin knows she would be better at doing this," Felicity said, pulling a stool to sit in front of Sirius.

"And the other option?" he replied, his eyes looking big and afraid for what might lay ahead.

"I can do it. That is, if you trust me."

There was silence between them after she spoke. The only noise in the whole wing was Isabella's quill scratching on the parchment.

Felicity was waiting for Sirius' answer. She needed to make sure he was alright with her healing him before she continued, in case something happened and she made a mistake that Madame Pomfrey would have to fix later, she wanted to know that he was comfortable with her giving it a try.

Sirius let his breathe out in a rush and Felicity could feel it tickling her hair. "All right, give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?"

Felicity nodded, her shoulders relaxing the tiniest bit. Did that mean that Sirius trusted her? At least enough to let her heal him by herself. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before, but those were special circumstances.

The scissors ran through the shirt with ease and soon Sirius was sitting there without a shirt on. It took all of Felicity's concentration for her eyes not to stray from his shoulder to his chest, or even lower.

Felicity went to the elixirs and grabbed a purple coloured one off the walls, knowing that Isabella was watching her every move. She thrust the bottle into Sirius' hands, careful not to make contact with his skin. She was sure if they touched that she would be giving him the wrong impression.

But what kind of impression did she want to give Sirius?

When she focused her attention back on him, he had already swung the contents of the bottle back and had placed it on the night stand next to the bed. Felicity quickly drew out her wand, making the motion to put her left hand on his upper arm.

"Is this alright?" she asked, not wanting to touch him without his permission.

"Yes," his voice came out strained and breathy. The way his voice sounded made Felicity chance a glance at him. His grey eyes were gazing at her and suddenly her breathe was caught in her throat. Why was he looking at her like that?

She cleared her throat, trying to focus on the task at hand. "The elixir that I gave you should help with some of the pain but this will probably still hurt." Sirius nodded at her words and she finally got up the courage to gently place her hand on his arm.

It was as if there was a current flowing through her hand and into his arm. His skin felt cold whereas her hand was warm.

"Ready?" she said, her voice weary. Sirius nodded back in reply. With a quick flourish of her wand, Felicity heard his shoulder snap back into place. Sirius let out a muffled groan, probably from the pain.

Placing the wand in her lap, Felicity probed her fingers over Sirius' shoulder, trying to be as gentle as possible. "All right, everything feels normal." She gently grabbed his hand, poking her fingers with her nails. "Can you feel this?"

"Yes," Sirius said, his voice sounding breathy.

Felicity started to become concerned at his lack of words. "Are you feeling all right? I need you to say something other than one word answers."

Sirius seemed to shake his head as if to clear it. "Yes, I'm fine. That hurt more than I would have thought but it feels more in place now." He ended his sentence in his signature smirk.

Felicity tried to contain the feeling she felt when he looked at her like that. So, she gave him quick nod and a smile before running to fetch a sling, which she tied around his neck to keep his arm from moving.

"That should about do it," she said, taking a step back to look at her handiwork. Sirius was in fact still shirtless, but his shoulder was now in the proper place and he seemed to be at ease. "I'm sorry about your Quidditch shirt; will you be able to get a new one?"

"Yeah I've got extras in my room and I'm sure I can convince McGonagall to get me another one if I need." Sirius stood, making Felicity feel small and insecure about his closeness. He was gazing down at her like he wanted to say something but was coming up short for words. Felicity was having trouble focusing on her thoughts as she tried to keep her eyes on Sirius' face.

The grey eyes that held so much mystery. Did she want to take a chance on someone who didn't seem to have the best track record?

There was a loud crashing sound of a breaking elixir bottle and a sheepish apologetic smile from Isabella. Felicity jumped at the noise and unknowingly moved closer to Sirius. She didn't realise she had her back pressed up against his chest until she felt the sensation of him laughing.

"You should be able to go Sirius, I just have the finish the paperwork, but you're free to go."

"Do you want me to stay? Everyone will still be down at the pitch."

"No, that's all right," Felicity said, rummaging through papers and trying to look busy. "This could take me awhile and you'll be bored out of your mind."

Sirius nodded, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Uh, here," Felicity said, grabbing her jumper and throwing it around his shoulders. "Take this; you'll be cold on the walk to the common room."

Sirius seemed confused but went along with the gesture. Quickly, before he thought better of it, he grabbed a stray piece of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. Felicity was now completely frozen in place and utterly scared to move.

However before anything else could happen, Sirius gave her a dazzling smile and walked out of the Hospital Wing, leaving Felicity with a pile of papers to fill out and mixed emotions.


	7. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone!**

 **Hope you're enjoying the story so far. Just wanted to say a quick thank-you to the person who reviewed last chapter (even tho it was anonymous and I don't know your name), it meant a lot to read your kind words.**

 **In the second chapter I introduced James' parents as Charles and Emily, and I'm just going to keep them that way for the sake of not having to go back and change anything. As of now it's been noted that it should be different. But I just love the name Emily.**

 **This chapter is a bit of a tease of what's to come ahead and I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **I might not be posting for a bit after this, as I'm going on vaca to Florida and won't have time to write.**

 **xx**

* * *

"I can't believe you're ditching me for James," Felicity whined.

"He asked me to Hogsmede and I said yes," Lily said in a huff. "That doesn't mean I'm ditching you."

Felicity rolled her eyes as the two girls walked down the corridor towards the common room. They had just finished dinner in the great hall and were now on their way to relax beside the fire. Lily had just broken the news that James had asked her to the first Hogsmede visit, which was scheduled for tomorrow.

"When did he ask you? Just now?"

Lily's face started to turn red. "No, early last week I think."

Felicity stopped in her tracks. "And you're just telling me now!"

Lily glanced down towards the floor and started fiddling with her fingers. When she spoke, she sounded exasperated. "I wasn't sure what to tell you! When he first asked me I was so excited and then I meant to tell you and I forgot. The longer I waited the angrier I knew you'd be!"

Felicity started to walk again, her shoulders sagging, the fight gone out of her. "Well of course I'm a little frustrated. We always go to the first Hogsmede visit together, you know that. And why would you want to go with James? I thought you hated him."

Lily looked confused. "What? I talk about him all the time. Haven't you been listening to me the past month?"

Felicity suddenly felt horrible.

Of course she had listened to Lily, but when she babbled on about James, Felicity usually just tuned it out. Wherever James was, Sirius was sure to follow and she wasn't sure how she felt about Sirius yet, or if she felt anything at all. She didn't want to be thinking about him constantly, but it was as if she couldn't get him out of her thoughts. And the worst part is that he showed up at the most random of places wanting to talk to her.

Felicity wasn't sure what they were. Would friends be the acceptable label? Or was it more acquaintances? Why was she even thinking of labels? They just were what they were. He had said that he had wanted to try being friends but the thought of them being friends still felt foreign to her.

"Earth to Felicity!" Lily said, shaking Felicity's shoulders. "Are you even in there or are you in an alternate universe?"

"Alternate universe," Felicity responded. An alternate universe where her and Sirius… What was she even thinking?!

The girls rounded the corner while Lily was still babbling about James, only to literally run into James and Sirius. Felicity struck her head into Sirius' chest and couldn't help to smell the cologne off him. It was some kind of musky scent, yet smelled like…

"Felicity, why are you smelling Sirius?" Lily asked, completely perplexed. James was standing beside her with an equally confused look, his head cocked to the side.

Felicity could feel her face becoming an inferno; she was sure that her face resembled a tomato. "Must've hit my head harder than I thought," she said, taking several steps back from the irresistible Sirius. The smile that was on his face was one that she wished she hadn't seen. It was halfway between a smirk and a full blown out teeth whitening smile. His eyes seemed to be alight with excitement and he was staring at her.

Felicity's head suddenly went from Lily to James to Sirius and back again. She tried to come up with a coherent response but she couldn't, it was as if her brain had stopped working and completely shut off. Her mouth started to open and close like a fish, however no sound came out. So Felicity did the most reasonable thing that she could think of.

"I wasn't smelling you!" she shouted at Sirius.

He smirked at her words. "You weren't?" Lily and James stayed quiet.

"I was merely walking along the corridor, chatting with Lily, when your big," Felicity started flailing her arms at Sirius' chest area. "Slammed into me. You must be made of brick because I obviously suffered a concussion and can't even think straight!"

Sirius let out a laugh. "Now are you sure that's the story that you are going with?"

Felicity gulped, taking a moment to find her voice and tuck her hair behind her ears. "That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

Sirius took a step towards Felicity, ignoring the look that passed between Lily and James. There was barely any space between them and Sirius had to bend his head down so that he could speak to her. Felicity, on the other hand, had to crane her head back so that she could look at him. Sirius was nearly a head taller than she, yet she could feel his breathe on her cheek when he spoke. "Alright."

Felicity was sure that if she leaned in that her lips would be able to touch his, it wouldn't have even taken a lot of effort on her part either. Just the tiniest movement…

It was at that moment that Felicity was yanked aside by Lily. "C'mon Fea, I think we'd better head back." Lily seemed to be on a mission because they left James and Sirius in the dust and made it back to the common room in record time. When they passed through the portrait hole, Lily didn't stop in the common room, but instead went right up their dormitory. Lily slammed the door shut and thankfully, no one else but Gemma was in the room.

"What's going on?" Gemma asked, concern in her voice. She was lying on her bed flipping through a new Witch Weekly magazine. She was glancing back from Felicity's pale white face to Lily's angry one.

"Maybe we should ask Felicity that," Lily said, staring at Felicity.

"What d'you mean?" Felicity said, her head whipping in Lily's direction. Her ponytail was so long it almost smacked her in the eye.

"What's going on between you and Sirius?" Lily demanded, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Wait," Gemma said, standing and throwing up her hands. "There's something going on between you and Sirius? Did you have a fight?"

"She almost kissed him," Lily said, throwing out the comment as if the topic had casually come up.

"You did WHAT!" Gemma shouted, pacing over to Felicity. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't almost kiss him!" pleaded Felicity. "This is all a big misunderstanding…"

"Then please, explain it," said Gemma, folding her arms and tapping her foot.

Felicity was stunned. She didn't expect this conversation to go how the way it was going and she didn't know what to tell them. "I don't know what's going on, I don't know how I feel!"

"FEEL?" Lily said, shooting up from her spot on the bed. "What do you mean feel?"

"We were walking down the hallway and then James and Sirius were there and I ran smack into Sirius' chest and-"

"And you were smelling him!" shouted Lily.

"Why would you smell him?" demanded Gemma. She looked ready to bolt and hunt Sirius down.

"I didn't mean to!"

"You didn't mean to smell him?" Lily raised her eyebrow.

"He was just there and I had hit my head and didn't have a chance to-"

"What about when you almost kissed him?" asked Gemma, her voice going down to a more normal level.

Felicity sunk to the ground, criss-crossing her legs and burying her head in her hands. Her head was a mess and her emotions were everywhere. They were supposed to be friends. Friends didn't tuck hair behind other friends ears or almost lean in to kiss each other.

"We're friends, Sirius and I." Felicity said into her hands, not sure that she could face the looks that would pass over Lily and Gemma's faces.

"Since when are you two friends?" asked Gemma, kneeling in front of Felicity.

"Since we agreed to try and be friends."

"But why?" Lily demanded.

"I don't know! He came up to me one day near the beginning of the semester and said that he wanted to be friends." Felicity removed her face from her hands to look at Gemma. She searched her sisters eyes, trying to find the confidence that she craved, the strength to be brave in this kind of situation. "I don't want-"

"To get hurt," whispered Gemma. It was as if she somehow knew everything that Felicity was thinking.

Felicity nodded in return. "I don't know what he's doing, why he wants to be friends or why he wants to talk to me so much-"

Gemma sighed. "You saved his life. In a way I think he owes you. Not like, going to risk his life for you, but in the kind of way that he wants to get to know you and be friends."

"But what if…"

"Don't worry about what if's for now," said Gemma, planting Felicity's hair behind her ear like Sirius had done the other week. "What if's come later when things actually happen. If Sirius says he wants to be friends then I believe him. Just go with it, Fea. You never know where it might lead or what doors it might open."

"How do you know it will work out for the better? What if she does get hurt?" Lily interjected.

"Because I know Sirius," replied Gemma, her eyes never leaving Felicity's. "You don't know him like I do. Give it a shot."

Before Felicity knew what she was doing, she nodded.

* * *

Lying in bed that night, Felicity could hardly sleep. The lights around her were all off and she could faintly hear Marlene snoring, yet she still felt wide awake. Everything that had happened that day seemed to be floating around her mind and she couldn't think straight.

Instead, she decided to count the times that Marlene would snore within a minute, which should have worked as well as counting sheep. Except it didn't. After a while, Felicity tried to roll over, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. Tomorrow was Saturday and although she didn't have classes, she knew that she would need to catch up on some of her school work if she was to stay ahead and keep her grades where she wanted them, plus there was always the thought of Hogsmede, even if it was to be enjoyed without Lily.

Yet, sleep wasn't her friend tonight.

Exasperated, she crawled from her bed, pushing aside her curtains. The book she was currently reading was on her trunk at the foot of her bed and she grabbed it, along with her slippers before heading down the stairs to the common room.

The fire was still blazing in front of the fireplace but the common room was absolutely deserted. Felicity glanced out the window, trying to tell what time it was.

With no one else around, Felicity pulled the couch as close to the fire as she dared. She was only in pyjama shorts and a tank top, yet she could feel a chill settle in.

Once she was comfortable, she propped open the book she was currently reading; a muggle book that Penelope had lent her called the Princess Bride. She had only just started it but was already intrigued.

Felicity had only read a couple pages when someone spoke from behind her.

"Couldn't sleep?"

Felicity jumped at the noise, putting her hand over her heart as she turned to see who else could be up at this hour.

Standing not but a couple feet from her was Sirius, holding a cloak on his arm with his signature smirk on his face.

Finding her voice, Felicity spoke. "No, couldn't shut my mind off, so I came down here to read."

Sirius nodded and came to sit down on the couch beside her, picking her legs up that had been spread out on the couch and placing them in his lap. Felicity froze at his obvious closeness, seeing as she had been avoiding him since earlier. "What about you?" she asked, trying not to sound awkward.

"What about me?" he grinned at her words.

Felicity rolled her eyes. "What are you doing up?"

Sirius shrugged, looking at the fire as he spoke. "Couldn't sleep."

"That's very vague," said Felicity, opening her book again and starting to read.

"I could say the same about you," Sirius said, plucking the book from Felicity's hands.

She sighed. "All right, you have my attention."

"Perfect," he said, turning his upper body towards her. He placed the book down on the cushion beside him and rested his hands on her bare legs, which made her heart beat faster. Felicity suddenly couldn't remember if she had shaved the other day or not and wondered if he could feel it.

When she looked up at Sirius again, he was looking sheepish. "What's wrong?"

Sirius was staring at his hands before he looked up at Felicity. "I have to apologise."

Felicity felt like there was a lump in her throat. "Apologise for what?"

He still looked sheepish. "For today, James informed me that my behaviour wasn't the best."

Felicity could feel her cheeks getting warm. "I should probably apologise too. My behaviour wasn't the best either."

"I'm so used to acting a certain way when I'm around James; he always wants to get into trouble and knows what I'm thinking before I even know I'm thinking it. And then when I'm with Remus he's my voice of reason. Peter is more of a mate to mess around with and he plays a mean game of exploding snap. And Gemma is probably the wittiest person I've ever met, but she also has an opinion about everything. And then there's you."

"Me?" Felicity's voice seemed squeaky in her own ears and Sirius let out a chuckle.

"You. I don't know how to act around you, or what to say. You do the most unexpected things and always leave me speechless. I never know what you're thinking. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character, but I can't seem to figure you out yet."

The two were already pretty close to each other, but it seemed as if Sirius was leaning closer. Pieces of Felicity's hair were falling down from her ponytail and Sirius began to tuck them behind her ear, each in turn.

"What are we?" Felicity asked. It was as if she had word vomit; anything was coming out of her mouth and she was powerless to stop it. Maybe it was because she was becoming tired.

Instead of answering her question, he asked her one of his own. "Are you going to Hogsmede tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure," she said uncertainly. Where was he going with this and why wasn't he answering her question?

"Well James is going tomorrow with Lily, Remus is going to hole himself up in the library, Gemma has plans with her Ravenclaw friends and I'd rather not spend the whole day with Peter."

"So what you're saying," said Felicity slowly. "Is that you want me to go to Hogsmede with you."

"Precisely! We can do whatever you like." Felicity was sure she had never seen Sirius smile so happily before.

"Well I was going-"

"Perfect, it's settled. We'll go after breakfast tomorrow."

"Sirius-"

He suddenly grabbed both sides of Felicity's face in his hands. Despite the fact that he had moved quickly, his touch was gentle. For some odd reason, with them being so close together, his hands on her face and her legs over his lap, Felicity felt at ease.

When he spoke she could feel his breathe over his face. He smelt of mint, like he had just brushed his teeth before coming down. "Do you trust me?"

The conversation she'd had earlier with Gemma played through her mind. Gemma said she had trusted Sirius and that whatever happened that Felicity should let be. Where was the harm in going to Hogsmede, at least just as friends?

For a moment, Felicity didn't say anything, she just stared at Sirius. She wanted to remember this moment and how close they were without fear of being interrupted. His grey eyes seemed calm but also excited. Was she imagining things or was this real? "Yes," Felicity replied.

His smile seemed to grow wider. "Perfect, let's go," he said, pulling her up off the couch with him. He draped the cloak he was holding over the back of the couch and grabbed her hand, leading her to the portrait hole.

"Sirius, where are we going? It's the middle of the night! We'll be caught!"

Sirius smiled at her, firmly keeping her hand in his grasp. When she looked down at their intertwined hands, his large one enveloping her own small one, it gave her some kind of satisfaction. "James is the prefect on duty tonight, so we won't get in trouble."

Some of the stress that was held on Felicity's shoulders ebbed away. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea? If Sirius didn't seem too worried, how bad could it be?

She had said that she trusted him.

"You still haven't said where we're going," she pleaded in a whisper as they moved out of the common room and into the black corridor.

"It's a surprise," he said, whispering back.

Sirius guided her down different corridors, always stopping and checking to make sure there wasn't anyone roaming around before venturing forward. It was when they had been walking for a couple minutes that Sirius suddenly shoved her behind a suit of armour, shielding his body over hers.

Felicity's heart began to beat faster and she was sure that Sirius could feel it through the back of his shirt.

"Thank Merlin," Sirius said, walking towards the figure that had his wand out, illuminating the corridor. "It's only James."

"Only James?" Felicity whisper-shouted. "You gave me a damned heart attack!"

"And what do we have here," James said, his tone taking on one of authority. He pointed his wand in Sirius' face. "Out after hours, tsk tsk."

"C'mon mate," Sirius said, sounding annoyed. "Quite playing about. I'm taking her to the place."

James seemed to do a complete turnabout and was now looking at Felicity with excitement all over his face. "Oh, you'll love the place; he's been talking about taking you there for a month!"

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs.

"Well it's true, innit?" James said, rubbing his side.

"C'mon Fea," Sirius said, taking her hand again. Felicity got a thrill when he used her nickname. "Let's go before someone else shows up and we do get in trouble."

"Thanks, James," Felicity said with a smile before she was pulled away by Sirius.

James smiled back at her as they disappeared down the hall, giving a little wave when they went to round the corner and looked back.

After walking for a couple more minutes, Sirius stopped at an unmarked door.

"Are you sure we can go in there?" Felicity said, looking around them to make sure no one was in sight.

Sirius shot her a smile. "Of course, I've been here before."

He unlocked the heavy wooden door to reveal stairs leading up. Felicity looked at Sirius, her heart beating frantically. "I'm not about to be murdered, am I?"

Sirius let out a light laugh and pushed her inside, closing the door behind them. The stairwell was dark, so Sirius lit up his wand to show them the way. They both ascended the stairs, slowly at first as to not miss any steps. Sirius' hand was still entwined with hers.

When they reached the top, there was another door that opened to a balcony, and which was not very large, with only a stone railing to separate them from the long fall to the ground. The air around them was cool and Felicity regretted not changing into pants and a sweater.

"Sirius why…"

"Shh," he said, putting a finger to her lips. He pointed up.

Above them, millions of stars shone, twinkling against the black sky. The moon was half full and sat in the distance, giving them the little light they needed.

"This is-"

"Beautiful, right?" Sirius said, looking at Felicity while she stared at the sky.

"How?" was all she said.

"Found it a couple years ago, I used to come here to think." Said Sirius, tightening his grip on her hand. "Are you cold?" He noticed she had started shivering. "Take my jumper," he said quickly, taking it off and putting it around her shoulders. She stuck in her arms and immediately felt warmer. Felicity could smell his scent on the jumper and tried to act casual with her breathing.

"Thank you," she said, looking up at him and smiling. "For everything. This place is amazing; you can see the stars so well from here!"

"When Gemma mentioned you loved star gazing I knew I had to show you this place."

"What about what James said?" questioned Felicity in a small voice. "About wanting to show it to me for a month?"

He looked at her and smiled, almost sheepishly. "Well, we are friends."

The thought made her heart start beating faster. "We are."

They stayed up on the balcony for what seemed like hours, until it started to get lighter out and Sirius insisted that he take her back to the common room. They spotted James on the way back, who just smiled and waved knowingly.

After they walked through the portrait hole, Felicity went to the fire and grabbed her book off the couch cushion. The adrenaline of walking through the castle after hours was wearing off and she was starting to feel tired.

"Thank you, for tonight Sirius. It was absolutely incredible." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"I'm just glad you liked it as much as I thought you would," was his reply.

The was a silence between them as they stared at each other. Felicity was the first to look away and speak.

"I should really…"

"Yeah, me too," Sirius said quickly. "I'll meet you down at breakfast and then we can go to Hogsmede?"

Felicity's stomach flipped at the thought. "Yeah, I'll be there."

"Perfect, I'm looking forward to it." Sirius took a step towards her. "I meant to say this earlier, but I couldn't find the words."

Felicity was quiet, unsure of what he was going to say or do next.

"That night, when you came, I thought you were an angel. Someone sent down to save me."

"Sirius…"

He took another step towards her before speaking again. "You're special, Fea. And I'll hex anyone that thinks otherwise."

She didn't know what to say, so she nodded, still looking into his eyes. He searched her face until his eyes met hers. Slowly and carefully, he took the hair that was falling into her face and tucked it behind her ear. As his hand was moving away, he gently touched the side of her cheek. She felt as if his fingers were leaving a fiery trail on her skin; she didn't want him to stop.

"Goodnight, Felicity."

She sighed. "Goodnight, Sirius."

He hesitated before moving towards the staircase that lead up to the boys dormitories. "Until today," he said with a smirk on his face.

She smiled and followed his lead, heading to the staircase that lead up to the girls dormitories. With each passing step, she felt more and more tired. When she was finally in her bed, curtains closed, she let herself relax.

It wasn't until she was almost asleep that Felicity realised she was still wearing Sirius' jumper, so as she rolled over onto her side, she took a deep breath and breathed in the musky scent that reminded her of him and the tower that he had brought her to.


	8. Chapter 7

When Felicity woke the next day, it was to the smell of Sirius' sweater. She hadn't gotten hot last night and had kept it on, burying her face into any part that she could get her hands on when she woke during the night. Now that she was awake and functioning like a sane person, she replayed what had happened last night and couldn't believe her actions. It was as if she was looking back through a dream.

How had she agreed to sneak out so late? The anxiety of just the thought that they could have been caught was now catching up to her. What would Lily say if she told her, what would Gemma?

It seemed as if she couldn't keep control over her actions while with Sirius. However, it was only one night and she would be sure it wouldn't happen again. She vowed not to tell Lily, for fear that the fiery red head would try to end their friendship.

Felicity sat up in bed and pulled the curtains aside, peering around the room. The other beds were empty, random pieces of clothing strewn about the room. The sunlight filtered in through the window, telling her it was morning already. She felt as if she were in some sort of trance; everything around her looked brighter and Felicity felt as if she were walking on water.

She quickly showered, scrubbing her hair with practiced fingers. When she emerged, Gemma was waiting on her bed, a grin plastered to her face.

"Are you waiting for me, Madame?" Felicity said as a smirk came to her face. She hugged the towel tighter to her wet body as she searched for clothes. It was the weekend so she grabbed her favourite pair of jeans and a jumper.

"I am, as a matter of fact!" Gemma said. "Sirius fell asleep on the couch downstairs waiting for you, so I thought I'd come and see what was taking so long."

At the mention of his name, Felicity's stomach began to flutter. "Why is Sirius waiting for me?"

Gemma's eyebrows knit together. "He mentioned something about Hogsmede this morning. You did agree to go with him, didn't you?"

Felicity smacked the heel of her hand against her forehead lightly. "Drats! I had forgotten. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not!"

"Well he is Sirius after all," Gemma said with a chuckle at her own joke. Her voice was light with amusement. "Is that what you are going to wear?" She motioned to the clothes in Felicity's hand.

"Well-" Felicity started, but Gemma snatched the clothes out of her hands.

"Do you even have any idea how to get a boys attention at all? Merlin, Felicity," Gemma huffed, rummaging through her own trunk. She found a plain black shirt and a dark grey cardigan before throwing them at Felicity along with a new pair of jeans, the price tag still attached. "If Viv was here, she would be yelling at you."

Felicity felt her cheeks burn. Did she even want a boys attention, let alone it being Sirius? Both Vivian and Gemma had history with boys and having boyfriends but Felicity had never been interested. Well that, and no one had ever been interested in _her_. She quickly threw the clothes on and Gemma nodded at her choices. She knew automatically that Vivian had bought the clothes for Gemma because Gemma rarely bought clothes for herself.

"It's a little chill today but the cardigan should keep you warm enough. The sun is warm even if the air is cooler." Once again Gemma began rummaging through her trunk and removed a couple of small items; mascara, lip gloss and blush, which made Felicity groan and Gemma to grin.

* * *

When Felicity finally made her way down the stairs, with Gemma close behind her, she spotted Sirius easily. He was the only one left in the common room and he was snoring lightly.

"How long has he been waiting?" whispered Felicity, slowly making her way to Sirius.

"Couple of hours, give or take," Gemma said with a smile while making her way to the portrait hole. "Have fun today, okay?" Felicity could feel her cheeks starting to blush but she nodded anyways.

Felicity was secretly worried that Gemma had some kind of mind control and knew what she was thinking sometimes regarding Sirius. She always seemed to have that glint in her eye, as if she knew exactly what was going to happen, which in turn somewhat frightened Felicity. She didn't want anyone to know that she could even possibly have any kind of feelings for Sirius. They were friends and that was it.

As the portrait door closed, Sirius slightly stirred but didn't wake. Felicity took a quick moment to watch his face, peacefully unaware. His mouth was slightly open and she couldn't help but giggle. Sirius looked calm and at ease, which was something that she didn't usually get to see.

Knowing that she would eventually get caught staring at Sirius, she decided it was probably best to wake him. Trying to commit his face to memory, she leaned down and put her hands on her knees.

"Sirius…" She whispered, watching as nothing happened. Felicity said his name a little louder but he didn't move. She glanced around the room, trying to find something that would do the trick, but there was nothing that would make enough noise. So, taking a couple steps back so she was a fair distance away from Sirius, she pulled her wand out and pointed it into the air, hoping that she wouldn't catch anything on fire.

With a swish a loud crack sounded from her wand, similar to the sound that was made from exploding snap, except quite louder. Sirius woke with a start, barely containing a shout before he rolled off the couch. He immediately jumped up, his wand at the ready and pointed at Felicity.

She smiled, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry to keep you waiting," when she managed to meet his eyes again, he was putting his wand away and slowly walking towards her. There was a slight blush to his own cheeks and a smile was creeping onto his face. "This bloke I know kept me up half the night gazing at the stars."

Felicity could almost detect a twinkle in his eye when he responded. "Well that must be one lucky bloke to have gotten the attention of you, Miss Barnett. You're looking lovely, as always."

She shrugged, trying to hide the blush that was coming to her cheeks as she led him out of the portrait hole. She tried to ignore the compliment, even though it sent shivers down her spine. "I thought he was a bit of an arrogant prat. But to tell you the truth, he's actually a pretty great guy. I was a little surprised."

Truth be told, Felicity liked this little game that they were playing. It was as if, because she wasn't saying all this stuff directly to Sirius' face, that she wasn't saying it at all.

"Well I can't imagine him feeling differently," said Sirius slyly.

"What do you mean?" It took all of Felicity's might not to stop in shock at his words. They kept walking towards the front doors, which was the direction of the path that would lead them to Hogsmeade.

"Well I can't say for certain," Sirius said, stopping them both in the middle of a corridor. There wasn't a soul in sight and probably wouldn't be on a day like this. "But I'd like to think that your bloke thinks you are pretty great too."

Felicity felt like she was overcome with emotions. Every single thought and idea was bouncing around in her head, making her mind a jumbled mess.

Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned up and kissed Sirius on the cheek.

"Thank you," Felicity said, taking a step back. Her cheeks were burning. "I'm enjoying spending time with you Sirius. I can't figure out why I never did before."

When she glanced over at him again, she was sure she had never seen a smile that big on his face. It looked as if his whole face was going to split open in glee.

"C'mon," said Sirius. "Let's get you something to eat."

The walk to Hogsmede was somewhat uneventful. They chatted about classes and the different assignments that were due within the next week. Felicity complained about the Transfiguration essay that they had to finish. She had started a few days earlier and was almost completed, where Sirius hadn't even started yet.

"Transfiguration is one of my best subjects. Just comes easily, I suppose," he let out a barking laugh at the last statement.

"I wish I could do so well. My parents adore Vivian because she's such a scholar. She loves learning and always gets top grades. I so wish I could be as smart as she is."

"People are smart in different ways," said Sirius, giving Felicity a sideways look. "So Transfiguration isn't your best subject, aren't you studying to be a healer?"

"Yes," Felicity said, remembering of their time in the summer. "But it's a lot of work."

"Nothing that's worthwhile ever comes easily." His voice had the tiniest hint of sadness in it, and she couldn't imagine why. Once again, Felicity almost stopped dead in her tracks. It was always so interesting to her to see Sirius act this way because she was so used to seeing him goofing off with the Marauders or Gemma.

"You keep surprising me every day, Sirius."

He had a wicked grin on his face as they walked through the gates that lead to Hogsmeade. "I try to keep everyone on their toes. It makes for an interesting life." He clapped his hands together and spread them, motioning to the streets in front of them. "Is there any place you specifically wanted to visit?"

Felicity glanced around at the students milling about on the cool October day. "I wouldn't mind heading to Honeydukes, Penny said she wanted some more chocolate frogs. And Tomes and Scrolls, I'm in need of a new book and I'd like to check out their section on healing."

"Do your parents know that you're sending chocolate frogs to your sister who may or may not be a witch?" When Felicity looked over he seemed to be barely containing laughter.

Felicity shoved him. "No they do not and I'm sure Penny would prefer you didn't say anything Sirius Black!" She wagged her finger at him.

Sirius pushed her back playfully. He held up his left hand and put the right on his chest. "I swear I won't breathe a word about you sending your younger sister magical things."

She laughed at his antics as she pushed open the door to Honeydukes and took a deep breathe. She always loved the different smells of all the sweets. Packing her arms full of chocolate frogs, fizzing whizzbees, sugar quills and a small bit of salt water taffy, she made her way to the front of the store, meeting Sirius at exactly the right moment. His arms were full of an assortment of chocolates and candies, but mostly of liquorice wands.

"You'd think we were throwing a party with this much junk!" Sirius joked as the store clerk rang them both through. As Felicity dug around her small purse for some galleons, Sirius beat her to it and paid for it all.

"Sirius you didn't have to do that!" Felicity was flabbergasted, trying to press the money into his hands. "Here, take this."

"Fea," Sirius said, gazing down at her. "Don't worry about it, it's on me."

It must have been something in his voice, for the fight went out of her. His hand was still covering hers, slowly pushing it back towards her purse. She sighed, knowing that Sirius would just get his way anyways. Sirius grabbed the bags, insisting that he would carry it all and lead Felicity out the door.

One thought kept nagging in her mind; wasn't Sirius disowned when he ran away? At least that was the rumour at Hogwarts. If so, how was he paying for everything?

They walked quietly to Tomes and Scrolls, where Felicity found a couple of books. She was thankful that Sirius didn't offer to pay, for she would feel like she was taking advantage of him.

As they made their way to the Three Broomsticks, Felicity's stomach growled. "Oh, how embarrassing!" She gazed down at her stomach as if to will it not to make a sound like that again.

"Come; let's get the woman some lunch so she doesn't eat someone's head off!" Sirius put his arm around her shoulder and steered her into the tavern.

The Three Broomsticks was by far the favourite place for students and teachers alike to come while they stopped and shopped in Hogsmeade. The place was packed and loud. Everyone seemed to be chatting and having a great time.

"D'you see any place to sit?" Felicity asked nervously. She didn't want to go and have to find another spot to have lunch, or worse, head back to the castle already.

"There, in the corner," Sirius said in her ear, pointing in the direction of a lone and empty booth. The heat from his breath sent shivers up her spine.

As they headed in that direction Madame Rosmerta, who was the owner, made her way speedily over to the booth and quickly cleaned up the dirty dishes for them with a wave of her wand. As they arrived, she gave the table a quick wipe and Sirius smiled warmly at her.

"Thanks, 'Merta," he said, patting her quickly on the back.

Madame Rosmerta's voice sounded like silk. "Of course, Sirius dear. Two butterbeers?"

"And two lunches, whatever the special is. You aren't too picky are you, Fea?" Sirius asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

Felicity looked over to Madame Rosmerta. "The special sounds perfect."

"I'll have it out in a jiffy, loves," said Madame Rosmerta, turning with a flourish and walking back to the bar.

Felicity and Sirius sat across from each other. "She seemed pretty friendly towards you, come here often?" she teased.

Sirius smiled. "When we have parties, we always come here and get the drinks. She's a great one, Rosmerta. Never questions us, just have to give her a little extra! And she doesn't say anything to the teachers either."

"Seems as if you have her wrapped around your finger!"

Sirius looked like he was about to say something when his eyes snapped to someone behind her. "There's Gem- I'll be right back! Just have to ask her a quick question."

Before Felicity could say anything, Sirius was gone and she was left at their booth, wondering what he had to ask her so suddenly. She turned her gaze to look around at the tavern, and sure enough Gemma had just been about to sit down when Sirius tapped her on the shoulder. She had come in with her Ravenclaw friends and when she noticed Felicity watching, she waved.

Felicity smiled and waved back, blushing slightly at being caught staring. Sirius gave her a quick smile and a wink, while she watched as they walked out the door. Trying to keep herself busy, she took out one of the books she had bought. It detailed how to heal cuts and scrapes that were caused by dark magic, something that she thought could be useful with the threat of the coming war.

She had barely begun when there were two figures that stopped at her table; she saw them out of the corner of her eye. When she looked up, she was surprised to see Isabella Aubrey, whom she worked with in the hospital wing from time to time, and her twin brother Bertram.

"Oh! Hello," Felicity said, a little taken aback at their presence.

"Hey Felicity!" Isabella said; all smiles. "We were looking to grab a butterbeer and saw you were alone, do you mind if we join you?"

Felicity plastered a fake smile on her face, while internally she felt sad that she wouldn't get more alone time with Sirius. "Of course! I came with Sirius but he's just stepped out for a moment. Please, sit!"

"Oh! I didn't see Sirius," said Isabella, taking a seat across from Felicity. She had figured that Isabella would have sat beside her but it seemed like she was stuck next to Bertram. He smiled at her, a shy smile. Felicity hadn't any conversations with Bertram that she could remember, so she stuck out her hand.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Felicity."

He let out a chuckle but shook her hand anyways. "I'm Bertram, nice to finally meet you." Felicity let herself look at him, taking in his appearance. His nose looked a little crooked, but she figured that it was from the bludger he took in the face at the end of third year. His eyes looked kind and were a startling green. His hair was a sandy blonde, almost closer to a light brown and fell lightly onto his forehead. He was wearing a green polo shirt, much to her surprise, and his jeans were dark blue.

Felicity let herself glance over at Isabella, for fear that Bertram would think that she was staring, and she noticed Isabella was wearing a dress that was a little too low cut for her taste. "So, you're spending quite some time with Black nowadays," Isabella observed, raising her eyebrow. She said the sentence casually, however Felicity felt like there was hidden meaning behind it.

Felicity took a moment before answering. "We're just friends," she tried to say nonchalantly. "I saw him during the summer. Sirius and James are great friends with my sister, Gemma, so they come over often." She left out the part about Sirius staying at James' house and everything in-between.

"This is kind of awkward," Isabella said, chancing a glance at Bertram, who just shrugged. "But I kind of fancy him. Would you mind if I tried to talk to him into taking me to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

Felicity could feel herself tense up slightly. Did she mind? Isabella seemed nice and Sirius had said they were only friends. Once again, she plastered a smile on her face. "Sure, you do what you think is best. But I'd better warn you, Sirius usually toys with girls and then leaves them hanging. You've heard of his ways." She said this to try and scare Isabella off.

Isabella had the decency to blush. "Yes, I've heard."

Bertram finally spoke up. "Say, Felicity, since my sister has almost coerced you to get Black to fall in love with her, why don't I make it up to you?"

Felicity could feel her stomach drop. The smile was still on her face and she had to force it to touch her eyes. "What did you have in mind?" She said aloud. In her head, she was screaming for it to be something boring and daft, something that she would be able to get out of.

"I'll think of something and it'll be a surprise. What do you say? "

It was then that Felicity started to panic. She felt as if she were forced to say yes, what with Isabella seated across from her and Bertram next to her, looking at her expectantly. She most definitely wanted to say no.

"Yeah- I mean, homework permitting, it sounds fun." She tried to put emphasis on the homework part, seeing it as a way out.

"Don't worry, I won't keep you long." He winked at her.

Felicity could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks and that was the moment that Sirius decided to return.

"Ah, the Aubrey's," Sirius exclaimed, glancing at Felicity quickly. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"We just came for the company, Sirius," replied Isabella. Felicity almost choked on the air she was breathing, hearing Isabella speak to Sirius. It was if she practiced all night to get the sultry voice just right. Felicity's nails were digging into her palms underneath the table.

Sirius' smirk only seemed to grow at her words. "Well, I am great company." Sirius took the empty seat beside Isabella, even going so far as to put his arm around her shoulder.

Felicity felt like she was going to be sick. And then it hit her.

She was falling for Sirius Black.

"Are you all right?" Bertram asked, he put a hand on her forehead and Felicity fought back the urge to flinch. "You look awfully pale." She felt like she had been played. Not only by Isabella and Bertram, but possibly by Sirius as well.

"I'm suddenly not feeling too well, I think I'm going to head back up to the castle and lay down." Felicity gathered her things as quick as she could, not overly caring which bags were hers.

The three around her brought up protests, but she waved them all away and practically dashed out of the Three Broomsticks, trying not to catch Gemma's concerned eye.

Felicity got half way down the street when she heard Sirius start to shout her name at the top of his lungs. "Felicity! Felicity! FELICITY!"

Everyone seemed to turn and watch and she wished that she could just have a moment alone. She slowed down and turned, letting Sirius catch up to her. He immediately put both his hands on either side of her face, trying to get the stray hairs out of her eyes. Her once perfectly curled hair was how windblown and tangled. "What's wrong? What happened while I was gone?" He was standing dangerously close to her and she could smell his cologne. His voice was laced with worry and his eyebrows furrowed together.

Felicity felt deflated, as if all the air had gone out of her system and there was no fight left in her. With all the force she could muster, Felicity stepped back out of Sirius' hands and watched as they fell to his sides. "I'm tired is all. Have fun with Isabella."

She didn't turn to see if he had followed and after a couple minutes of walking, she chanced a glance back, however he was nowhere to be seen. But she knew that the fiery sensation of Sirius touching her face wasn't to go away anytime soon.

* * *

 **Thanks to all that reviewed! Let me know what you guys think of the story so far. xx**


	9. Chapter 8

**Quick thank you to the person who anonymously reviewed last chapter, who thought that Felicity was a skank and shouldn't let Sirius walk all over her. Patience is a virtue. Not all characters are going to be head strong and fierce right away. It takes time, it is called character development. With that being said, Felicity is a shy girl who is slowly learning to come out of her shell. She's made a point to put effort into becoming someone different. That doesn't mean she's going to be brave and courageous every single moment because everyone has weaknesses. Heck, she could very well be the damsel in distress at some point, I'm not sure yet. But either way, you read all eight chapters so there must have been something that I'd done right.**

 **Until next time. xx**

* * *

"Are you sure it just wasn't a misunderstanding?" asked Gemma.

The two Barnett girls were sitting out in the cool October air, underneath an old tree that sat beside the lake. Felicity shook her head at her sister's words, remembering how she had felt that day. "No, I don't think so. Isabella has always been so kind and I thought of her as trustworthy. But that day it just felt as if she knew I'd be there with Sirius. I felt cornered and I so very much regret saying yes to Bertram."

"Although he is pretty easy on the eyes…" Gemma said picking at her finger nails.

"That doesn't matter," replied Felicity, getting slightly frustrated. She started to pull up the grass around her. "I agreed to some of kind of 'surprise' date thing. Which I whole heartedly don't want do. Bertram , well he's nice and all. He seemed to be like a good person from the small time that I had spent time with him, but…"

Gemma gazed at Felicity with knowing eyes. "But he's not Sirius."

Felicity had been trying her hardest not to think of what had happened the past week and a half and she had been doing a pretty good job at it. After initially going back to the castle to let out her feelings in an empty classroom, she had closed herself off to anyone that wasn't Gemma or Lily. Sirius had tried to speak to her on several occasions but Felicity had simply walked the other way. She was so nervous that Sirius would say something that could change her mind. She knew him to be very persuasive. Felicity figured he would forget about her after a while and then move on to Isabella or someone similar, if he hadn't already. She had no intentions of letting Sirius Black get into her pants… yet he was all she could think about. After that day in Hogsmeade, she felt hollow.

"Gemma, I can't like Sirius. You don't see the way he is with me; all funny, jokes, somewhat flirty… And then he goes and flirts with Isabella right in front of me. He put his arm around her. And all she wants to do is get into his pants, I'm bloody sure of it. I feel like she used me, waited until the precise moment and then she came and pounced. And _of course_ Sirius was all over her, she's bloody gorgeous."

"You knew Sirius was like this-"

"I know! And I can't believe I let myself fall privy to his ways, that I let him charm me so. I feel like an idiot. Whenever I see him, my heart starts to beat out of my chest and I can't even think straight."

"So you _did_ want to kiss him that one day." Gemma's eyes were hard and stern because she already knew the answer.

Felicity struggled for words, only bits and pieces coming out as her face heated with a blush. Her mouth was opening and closing like a fish, barely any sounds coming out. Gemma laughed and clapped her hands once. "If Lily hadn't been there to drag me away, I'm sure I would have done something outrageous that I would have regretted," she finally got out. Her voice was shaking slightly at getting caught by Gemma.

"Felicity Barnett you are too easy to read. I know you like the back of my hand and suddenly it's like you've changed. Nothing bad," she added quickly at Felicity's expression. "But you've changed. You've a different mindset. And suddenly Sirius Black is filling all your thoughts. I never thought you'd be attracted to him, Bertram seems more your type. Brainy; yet still a little brawny. He probably has a good heart and the right intentions to woo you over, but seemed to veer a little off track because his timing and execution could use a little work. But that is what you get with some Ravenclaws. As smart as they are in books and studies, social skills they sometimes lack."

Felicity groaned. "What on earth am I to do now?"

Gemma thought for a moment. "Come to the Halloween party tonight."

"No, those things always end badly-"

"It was only the one year that someone got into a fight, every other year has been fine."

Every single excuse was running through Felicity's mind. "I haven't a costume-"

"You know that doesn't matter. People come; the boys enchant the room to give out random costumes for boys and girls. You literally don't have to put in any effort except to show up and drink. They play music and people dance. I think you would really like it Fea."

"Wasn't there one year where a boy looked like a toad for a week?"

Gemma sighed. "That was one costume. They've worked out the kinks since then."

"How do you know I'd like it?"

This made Gemma think for a moment. "There's an air of mystery to it. You don't know who is who or what house they are from. James says it's to stop promoting rivalry, although he never invites any Slytherins." She paused for another moment, thinking about the words until she had found the right ones. "It's fun, there's no other word for it."

Felicity didn't want to say yes outright in case she wanted to change her mind at the last moment. This did sound like something she would be interested in, getting out of her comfort zone and having a good time. She had never been to one of the Halloween parties, although Gemma begged her to go every year. It just hadn't been something that she had been interested in.

"And Sirius will be there?" Gemma made a face at Felicity's words.

"Yes, but more than likely you won't recognize him. Everyone is given masks by the enchantment, to go with their costume and at the end of the night, like really late into the night when the enchantment wears off, you get to see who you've been chatting to all night. Kind of interesting, really. Gives it that air of mystery."

"I'll think about coming. That's not a promise that I'll be there, but if I find I've nothing better to do then perhaps I will drop by."

Gemma grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Perfect! I know you'll have fun. We can go together if you'd like?"

"Yeah we can figure it out." Felicity sighed, knowing that now there was no way she'd be able to get out of it if Gemma insisted she go.

They sat in silence for a while, neither one saying anything to the other, just enjoying the company. It wasn't awkward; it was comfortable. Gemma was the one who broke the quiet.

"There are worse things in life than knowing you made a mistake in your younger years. Give him a chance, you might surprise yourself."

Felicity wasn't sure if Gemma was talking about Sirius or Bertram and she didn't care to find out. With a sigh, she stood and offered a hand to her sister, who took it. With one last look at the fading sun, they walked arm in arm up to the castle to go to dinner.

* * *

Later that evening, after the feast that they had eaten in the great hall, Felicity was sitting near the fire on one of the comfy chairs. Her feet were thrown over the side, near the fire so it could warm her cold toes and her head rested lightly on the armrest. She was reading her healing book, looking at the detailed pictures and trying to commit them to memory. The slashes on the bodies were all different variations and required different care. If one were to get it wrong, it could result in death for the patient.

"That book looks quite morose," Gemma commented as she slid onto the couch, stretching her legs out.

"I thought it would come in handy. Pomfrey only teaches us so much and I think it's because she only knows so much. She's quite young still. How come you aren't getting ready with Lily and Marlene?"

"I can quite literally get ready in 30 minutes. I don't understand why they both need 3 hours," Gemma huffed. Although Gemma knew more about makeup and boys than Felicity, she was definitely more interested in getting dirty and playing sports.

"When are we supposed to be heading to the party?"

"So you are going then?" asked Gemma with a smirk.

"Well I figured I had nothing better to do with my time so I might as well."

Gemma laughed and launched herself at Felicity. With a squeal, Felicity bore the weight as Gemma sat on her. They were both laughing when the portrait door swung open and in walked the Marauders.

"Gemma your arse is in my face!" Felicity squealed in an attempt to get her sister off. This was something that Gemma seemed to do often, even while at home during holidays.

"Now this I have to see," said James, vaulting himself over the couch with a wicked grin on his face. Felicity momentarily gave up struggling to try and glance at James. She could barely see his feet. Felicity's arms were pinned beneath her, still holding the book. Her only escape was either help or to kick her sister in the head and she wasn't sure she was that flexible or that she wanted to endure Gemma's wrath.

The other Marauders sat down along with James; Remus and Sirius claiming the other seats on the couch and Peter taking the extra chair.

"James, I could really use your help," said Felicity, her voice slightly muffled.

"I'm not sure I'm in the helping mood," James said, putting his hands behind his head. "Let me consult with my best mate Padfoot here – oh wait, perhaps if you apologised, _he_ would agree to help you."

Felicity froze. Had James really just said that? There was a sound of someone being hit on the back of their head and James let out a shout. "OI!"

"James," Gemma's tone warned. Felicity took her chance as her sister was distracted, anger running through her veins. With her shoulder she rolled, shoving Gemma off the chair, who landed with a thump on the floor. A couple of the pages tore out of her book but Felicity couldn't care at the moment.

She was _furious._

" _I_ should apologise?" she growled at James, who had a knowing smirk on his face. She wanted to run over and punch the living day lights out of him but Gemma stood and blocked her path.

"Fea," said Gemma in a low voice. "Just let it go."

Felicity ignored her sister. "If anyone should be apologising, it should be _him_." She turned to Sirius and finally addressed him after not speaking for so long. "Don't you know it's a terrible habit to toy with girls' emotions? One of these days _you're_ going to get hurt and then you'll know how it feels."

Sirius' face was red with anger as he stood and marched over to Felicity, slightly pushing Gemma out of the way, who obliged. They stood chest to chest, his eyes boring into hers. "I did no such thing," he growled. The common room had gone quiet and the stragglers were listening intensely, for it wasn't often that people fought in the common room.

"' _You're special, Fea. And I'll hex anyone that thinks otherwise._ '" Felicity spoke in her best Sirius impression. His face went pale and there was an intake of breathe from Gemma and Remus. "I really wanted to believe you were different, yet here we are. Was it all a sham, Sirius? The tower, the star watching, going to Hogsmeade?" She stopped to take a breath, watching all the emotions playing on his face. "I hope she was a good shag, Sirius. I hope she was worth it. I'm done being toyed with by the likes of you."

Sirius' hands were starting to shake. "You don't know what you're saying-"

Before Felicity knew what she was doing, she shoved Sirius' chest as hard as she could so he was forced to take a couple steps back. Sirius was shaking his head. "I-"

She interrupted him. "I'm done being pushed around by people who think they are superior, because of their blood. People like you, who just want to get into my pants. Anyone who thinks that they can push me around and take advantage of me can rot in hell and I'll _gladly_ point them in the direction."

Sirius stood there, stunned into silence. His jaw looked tight with tension. Felicity took that as her leave, marching over to the staircase that led to the girl's dormitories.

"Barnett!" Sirius barked his voice cold and void of emotion.

Felicity turned in time to see her healing book being scattered at her feet. Somehow the binding had been broken and there were pages that were now falling out. She picked up the book and hurled it with all of her might at Sirius, who had to duck in order to not get hit in the head. The book hit the wall across the room with a thunk and landed on the floor.

"Keep it, Sirius. A memento of what could have been. Because rest assured, whatever was between us is most definitely over and I'll live a happy life if I never have to see your face or talk to you again."

Felicity turned with a flick of her hair, stalking up the steps to her shared room. She was only halfway up the stairs when she heard the portrait hole slam shut and she let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding.

She opened the door and stalked straight to the bathroom, ignoring Lily and Marlene's worried looks and questions. Felicity closed and locked the door before falling to her knees and sobbing.


	10. Chapter 9

**You know what they say; drunk words are sober thoughts.**

 **Enjoy. xx**

* * *

"Felicity, please come out," pleaded Lily.

"The party is going to start soon and you haven't even gotten ready!" Marlene pounded her fists on the door with each word.

"Please, Fea. If we leave now we can still make it on time," Gemma begged.

But the girl behind the door didn't move. She lay on the tiled floor, willing the hollow feeling inside of her to go away.

"Felicity, please. We're getting worried."

"Just say something to us so we know you're alright!"

"I'm so sorry, Fea." Came the broken words from Gemma.

It was then that she stood with a sigh and unlocked the door, looking into the face of her sister, who seemed to be on the verge of tears. Her hair was neatly curled and she was wearing a pretty green dress.

Felicity's voice sounded hollow and void of emotion in her own ears. "Gemma, this will never have been your fault. You can't blame yourself for his actions."

"I'm so, so sorry, Fea. I should never-"

Felicity put her arms around Gemma and pulled her sister into a hug. "Do not feel guilty. This is not your fault."

Lily and Marlene glanced at each other before hesitantly looking towards Felicity. With her head rested on her sister's shoulder, she could see the room and them perfectly. With a sad smile and a jerk of her head, she motioned for them to shoo. "Get to the party or you'll miss it all."

"Won't you come with us?" Lily pleaded, wringing her hands. "It won't be the same without you."

"Oh pish posh, let's just get her ready," Marlene said, with a swish of her plum dress. She rummaged through her trunk until she pulled out her makeup case.

"I really don't want to go," Felicity said, reluctantly letting go of Gemma.

She was no longer tearful, but looked righteously angry. "Come with us. I promise we'll have so much fun and we'll pump you so full of liquor that you won't remember Sirius' name."

The thought of her veins running full of alcohol was a pleasant thought, as she had never let herself get drunk or really attend any sort of party before.

The girls took Felicity's silence as a yes and quickly started gathering things.

"She can wear this black dress…" Gemma said, quickly pulling it from her trunk and shoving it into Felicity's hands. "Put it on in the bathroom and then come back out as soon as you are done."

Much to Felicity's surprise, the dress fit like a glove. She didn't approve of the plunging neckline that seemed to show off too much of her chest and neck, but pushed the thought away because her breasts seemed to be covered for the most part. She turned and looked at her backside, slightly worried that it was too short, barely covering her arse, but if Gemma wore it then there shouldn't have been a problem for she was slightly taller and had longer legs than Felicity.

When she opened the door, it was to a slight chaos. Lily and Gemma were arguing over how to do her hair and Marlene looked extremely ecstatic that she got the chance to do another girls' makeup. When she stepped out, they all fell silent at stared at her.

"Sirius is going to wish he died tonight," Lily said with a sigh.

"He's going to wish he wasn't such an imbecile," Gemma added, giving Felicity a slight grin, which she tried hard to return but failed.

As the girls sat her down, she realised she didn't have to do anything. Lily and Gemma expertly took her hair down from her ponytail and started to curl it into 'delicate waves' as they called it. Marlene told her to just close her eyes and relax, so that was what she did. She could feel Marlene painting her skin and eyes with different products and knew that it wouldn't matter what she wanted, because Marlene would do as she pleased. She was left to her thoughts, which was a dangerous past time, however because she was surrounded by friends, it wasn't as bad as she thought.

Felicity hoped that Sirius was able to recognize her somehow and that he felt like an idiot. On the other hand, however, she hoped that she didn't see him for she was sure if she did that she would start to cry again.

By the time the girls finished, they decreed that they were going to be 'fashionably late' and that if anyone questioned them, they would tell them there was an emergency with their outfits. Lily's bright red dress swished as she gave Felicity the once over and deemed her gorgeous.

Felicity didn't feel gorgeous, she felt like an imposter.

The four girls headed down the stair case into the common room, heels clicking on the stone stairs. The common room was empty, as she had guessed it would be. As they made their way out of the portrait hole, Felicity questioned where they were going.

"I thought the party was in the common room?"

"It usually is," Marlene said. "But apparently they found a better place. Bigger room and more space for different things."

"I'm excited," said Gemma. "I wonder what it looks like. James said it was on the 7th floor, across from the painting of Barnabas the Barmy."

"I didn't think there was a room of any sort there," Lily said, her eyebrows furrowing.

The girls shrugged and kept walking. When they reached the 7th floor, there was a first year who was seated on a stool next to Barnabas, but there was no door in sight.

"Good evening ladies," the boy said, hopping down from his stool.

The girls muttered a good evening, unsure of what was to happen.

"In order to get into the party, you need to walk back and forth in front of this wall three times, thinking of the party, of you wanting to go to the party."

"Is he serious?" Gemma asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Only one way to find out," said Marlene as she started walking. The other girls followed suit as the first year sat back down on his stool, sipping a butterbeer.

Sure enough, on the third pass, the edging of an iron door started to appear.

"Bloody hell," cursed Gemma, taking in the door as it began to grow and form. Marlene and Lily also let out a couple of fair worded curses, but Felicity fell silent; she was beginning to get nervous.

As the door completely came into view, the first year spoke. "Have a nice night ladies."

Gemma was the one who walked over and opened the door with a large creak, the faint sound of music wafting out. One by one, the girls filed into the doorway until it closed behind them, leaving a brightly lit corridor. At the end, they could see bright lights flashing and moving as well as music blasting and bodies moving.

Halfway down, there was another first year, this time a girl, holding a camera.

"Good evening ladies," she greeted with a wave. "If you'd like I can take your picture."

The four girls glanced at each other before they realised that they weren't dressed as they had entered. There was a small collective gasp of wonder from each of them.

Gemma, who had sported a green dress with her hair curled, now looked completely different. Her dark green dress was replaced by a brighter green one that looked like it had sequins sewed into it. The effect made her look like she had scales. The dress went all the way to her feet, curving to her body perfectly, the sleeves clinging to her arms. Her hair was now straight and slicked back, with a beautiful yellow and orange mask now covering most of her face. It moved as she did, the flames seemed to be flickering in the light. Her costume made her look like an elegant dragon.

Lily, who had been wearing a knee length red dress was now wearing a flowing gown that went to the floor, the ruffles moving as she did, giving off different shades of red, orange and yellow. When she raised her arms, there were pieces of fabric that fell and hung in different lengths. Her mask had feathers adorned on it like a crown, her green eyes showing like slits. Her hair had been up in an intricate bun but was now flowing with waves down her back. "Merlin," she said, grinning at the other girls. "I'm a bloody phoenix!"

"My fucking skin is purple!" Marlene exclaimed. Sure enough, her skin had been turned to the colour of her plum dress. She was dressed in black robes that looked like they had the galaxy shining on them and a black pointed hat to match. Her hair had been turned a sterling silver and was braided, the end of it hanging over her shoulder and down to her chest.

Gemma laughed. "You look like a hotter and purple version of Professor McGonagall!"

The first year spoke up again. "So would you all like a photo?"

The group nodded and they all stood next to each other, laughing and striking poses. Felicity knew that she should try to smile and seem like she was having fun, for the other girls' sake. But all she desperately wanted was to find a mirror and see what she looked like.

The girl snapped the photo with a laugh. "I must say," she said looking at Felicity. "I think your costume is probably my favourite that I've seen so far. Your eyes- they just look completely mesmerizing."

"Are there mirrors anywhere?" she asked, the anticipation of getting to see what she had been transformed to growing with every second.

The first year laughed and moved slightly to the side, to reveal that in the wall there was indeed a mirror. Felicity was confused at how she hadn't noticed it before and the girl, upon seeing her confused expression explained it.

"The room accommodates what you need. If you'd like something, you just have to think hard enough and it should appear."

Felicity could barely hear what she was saying, for she was too distracted by her own reflection. Her hair had been turned from her normal blonde to jet black and hung in long waves down her back. The short black dress that she had been wearing had been changed. The dress was still black, but the bodice of the dress hugged her so tight, she was sure it was a corset. Her chest – well she had to say, it looked spectacular. Her dress flowed to the floor perfectly. And the best part, or worst – she hadn't decided yet, was that there was a large slit that went up her right leg, showing an awful lot of her calf and leg. All over, the dress glimmered and seemed to be _moving_ _–_ And she could see, her dress wasn't moving but the fabric gave off the illusion that it was, for there were hundreds of spiders that glimmered and moved every which way. Her arms and legs looked very pale next to her dress, the stark white skin against the black fabric. Felicity glanced at her face and seemed surprised too; there was a short black and lace veil that covered the top half of her face. Her lips were a beautiful, sexy shade of red and her eyes…. They were a bright violet.

If this first year thought that her costume was the best one yet, perhaps this party would be a little fun.

The girls walked to the end of the corridor and as they got closer, the music got louder. The room revealed itself to be quite huge. In the middle there stood a huge dance floor that most of the bodies seemed to be on. They all danced together and laughed and sang, although the music was almost deafening. On the far left hand side wall there were two exits that seemed to be bathrooms. On the right hand side there was a bar with stools to sit. There was also a set of stairs that seemed to lead to a loft, with more places to sit; couches and chairs for groups who wanted to enjoy each other's company.

There were a couple people that you could tell who they were, Marlene being one, for even if her skin had changed colour, her face had stayed the same. Felicity glanced around to try and spot the Marauders but she couldn't see anyone. She let her shoulders relax.

"Let's get some drinks!" Gemma shouted over the music and the girls agreed, walking over to the bar.

"D'you recognize anyone?" shouted Felicity in Lily's general direction. The redhead shook her head as she glanced around.

When Gemma handed her a small glass, Felicity didn't even hesitate to sling it back in a big gulp. She never had anything stronger than butterbeer and that only had a slight bit of alcohol in it. So when she swallowed, it felt like fire was going down her throat and she nearly choked.

"Felicity's got the right idea!" Gemma cheered before downing her own drink and ordering them all another.

Felicity felt like she was going to gag. She had never tasted anything so foul and didn't understand why people loved to drink that. So when Gemma tried to hand her another glass, she tried to refuse.

"It gets easier the more you have," said Marlene with a shrug before downing her own drink.

Reluctantly, Felicity gulped down another. And another. It wasn't until they'd each had 5 drinks that Gemma let them go onto the dance floor. Felicity's throat burned and she greedily gulped down a butterbeer before following the girls. She didn't feel anything yet except her mind becoming the slightest bit fuzzy. But why was there a need to think? She didn't want to be reminded of Sirius so she tried her hardest to focus on dancing and not thinking.

"Oh I love this song!" Shouted Lily as she grabbed Felicity's arms, swinging her around. She bumped into a couple of people and muttered an apology that went on deaf ears.

If anything, Felicity could have cared less about the dancing. She tried to keep up with the girls but she knew that she was a terrible dancer. After a couple of songs, Gemma took pity on her and dragged them all back to the bar for some more drinks. Felicity thought that Gemma handed her two, but perhaps she drank three? As the girls went to go back to the dancing floor, Felicity grabbed Gemma's arm.

"I think I'm going to go check out the seats upstairs!" she shouted, hoping that Gemma could hear her.

Gemma nodded in understanding and gave her thumbs up before the music stopped and the room turned quiet. Felicity recognized James' voice over the speaker but couldn't figure out where he was. "Girls choice!" he said before a song came on that was considerably slower.

"Grab someone and dance!" Gemma insisted, not really giving her a choice before shoving her in the direction of the first boy that she saw.

The boy was dressed like a ghost; he was even levitating slightly off the ground. He had a mask on that changed faces every couple of seconds before it settled on a grin. He didn't speak, just held out a hand in offering.

Before she could change her mind, Felicity took his hand and followed him to the dancefloor. They moved closer, a little reluctantly on her part, until they were chest to chest. He was taller than she was, so he leaned his head to her ear.

His voice was husky when he spoke. "Do I get 10 points and a kiss if I figure out who you are?"

Felicity couldn't help but laugh at his outrageous request. "You can try all you like," she said, bringing her voice a little lower to hide who she was. "But you'll never get it correct."

"I'm going to guess Ravenclaw," the boy said, pulling her closer, if it were even possible. "A sultry voice like yours and a keen mind to go with it."

Felicity decided to change the subject. "How did you do that? The levitating – floating, whatever you want to call it. Was it a spell?"

The boy laughed. "Fizzing Whizzbee's. They levitate you for just a little but it's enough to get the point across."

"Drats! I should have known. That was the obvious solution."

"You've got to be a Ravenclaw," the boy said, grinning. "I can ask you a couple riddells if you like?"

"Oh, I'm horrible with riddells; I would not get any of them!"

"Okay that's good, because I'm not sure if I could think up riddells on the spot!"

Up until that point, where she let out a laugh, Felicity hadn't realised that she had been enjoying herself. She felt relaxed and at ease. The alcohol was steadily making its way into her system and she was enjoying the feeling.

The boy twirled Felicity around before dipping her low. She was certain that she saw Gemma dancing with someone in a wolf costume and she gave her a grin before talking to the boy she was dancing with again.

"Enjoying yourself, mystery girl?"

Felicity smiled at the ghost. "Yes, I am very much. I've never been to one of these parties before but it's actually entertaining. The liquor is what really did it for me."

"Ah, I'm going to guess it's been a rough day," he teased, his mask raising an eyebrow.

"You don't know the half of it!" she laughed, throwing her head back. "If I told you, I'd probably come off as crazy. I acted like a lunatic today."

"I had to admit," he said, twirling her. "I had one of those days myself."

As the song ended, Felicity was feeling bold; her head was becoming fuzzier with each passing minute and she liked the feeling. "Did you want to grab a drink with me?"

The ghost's mask turned to a face of surprise before a smile settled. "Yes, that sounds like a great idea."

He took her hand and led her off the dance floor and Felicity caught Gemma's eye for a moment, long enough for Gemma to send a thumbs up her way. As they stood at the bar, the boy had his hand on Felicity's lower back and it felt comfortable. She wasn't sure why she was so worried about coming! She was having a great time.

Felicity and the ghost boy gulped down a couple of shots of fire whiskey, which she found out was what she had been drinking all night, before grabbing some butterbeer and heading upstairs to lounge on a couch. It was slightly less noisy up there for most of the people who had come were on the floor dancing, while a couple of stragglers littered the seats. Felicity noticed in particular that there was a girl who was dressed like a quill and another like an owl.

"The costumes tonight are so amazing," she said to the ghost boy, who nodded in affirmation. "They are so creative. I can't believe the Marauders were smart enough to come up with them. Although Remus is a genius, so I guess it was probably his doing."

The ghost boy shook his head. "Actually, I heard it was the room's doing."

"The room?" inquired Felicity. Suddenly, it was getting harder to concentrate. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, its magic," he said, laughing. "The room is enchanted. Anything you need, it will offer you. Costumes included."

"I should come here more often. This room sounds like it could be my new safe haven. I wonder if I'd be able to watch the stars."

Suddenly that got the ghosts attention. "The stars? Is that what your old safe haven had?"

"It was a tower, in particular. The view was spectacular. But I don't think I'll be able to go there anymore. Friendship is broken and I'd rather not run into _him_ there."

"Ah, bad break up?"

Felicity wasn't sure why she was opening up to this person but she felt at ease. She sunk lower into the couch, leaning her head onto the ghost's shoulders. "No, we weren't dating. I wanted more and I don't think he did."

"Sometimes men don't know what they're doing until it's too late." The way he sounded made Felicity feel like he was trying to tell her something without actually telling her. She didn't think much of it as the liquor was running through her veins.

"So what shall I call you, ghost boy?"

"Ghost boy?" he let out a barking laugh that caused Felicity to laugh too. "I'd think I could be considered ghost man. I'm no boy."

"No? And what makes you think that?" She turned towards him, plopping her legs over his lap, her face closer to his. The slit in her dress showed off her leg and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off it.

Before he could say anything, someone tapped her shoulder, causing her to jump and turn around. Gemma stood behind her, costume still intact. "Just wanted to check in, you good?"

Felicity smiled before standing and hugging her sister. "I'm fantastic! I really am having the best time."

Gemma smiled. "Sounds like you've had plenty to drink."

"Can't say that I helped on that front too much," ghost man said, standing.

Gemma laughed. "Not to worry. Just watch over her, yeah?"

The music suddenly stopped and James' voice came on again. "Boys choice!" he shouted before another slow song came on.

"I heard the enchantment is going to be lifted soon, just wanted to let you know beforehand. Behave!" Gemma shouted before bounding down the stairs.

"Care to dance?" ghost man said, offering Felicity his hand.

As she entwined her fingers with his, she couldn't help but feel surprised at how well they fit together. Felicity must have said the comment out loud for the ghost laughed. They walked down the stairs, to which Felicity needed a little extra help with so she didn't fall down. It seemed as if her feet could no longer be trusted.

As the ghost man spun her around slowly on the dancefloor, Felicity leaned her head on his chest. The room itself had started to spin too so she shut her eyes, just living in the moment. When the song ended and they stood still, everything still spun for Felicity. "Can you take my over to the wall? Everything is slanting to the left."

"You don't hold your liquor very well," the ghost said with a laugh, but obliging anyways.

"I don't think I've ever drank this much before," she admitted, stumbling a little. Her mind was so fuzzy, she could barely think straight. "No more drinks for me," she said sternly.

"Are you going to be alright?" They had reached the wall and Felicity put her hands on it, focusing on her nails so the whole world didn't tilt.

There was a booming laughter on the megaphone before James shouted "5 minutes before the reveal!"

Felicity turned to the ghost. "Kiss me."

The mask morphed in shock. "What?"

Felicity closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto the wall. "I want…"

She didn't hear the mask drop to the floor, but she felt his fingers tracing her face gently. She was shocked when she could feel his breathe on her lips. "Are you sure?" he breathed.

Felicity didn't give him a chance but met his lips with her own and suddenly they were passionately kissing.

Up to that point, Felicity had never really kissed a boy. She had pecked Stanley, a muggle who went to her school when she was 7, but he thought she had been Vivian so they had never kissed again. This was the first _real_ kiss, one that meant something to her. This kiss made her want more, it made her head spin more than it already had been. The kiss made her insides want to melt and her heart beat faster. She was kissing a complete stranger but she wanted more.

His hands moved from her face to her neck and her waist, pulling her closer. Her hands left her sides and tangled themselves into his hair. His tongue slid across her lower lip and she moaned. James came onto the speaker again, counting down from 60, meaning that she only had a minute until her costume wore off and she was back to her plain self.

Felicity kissed him harder, if it were even possible, and pulled him closer. She could feel every inch of him and she loved it. The spark of electricity and passion that was flowing through them was unbelievable and she never wanted them to stop. She wished it could stay this way forever, for it truly was magical being in the moment, kissing a complete stranger with such passion that she never knew she had in her.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1…"

But they didn't stop.

Felicity could feel the magic fading, slowly but surely. Her hair shortened, as did her dress. She felt the mask dissolve into thin air but they didn't stop, for neither wanted to.

When they did stop, both breathing heavy, Felicity kept her eyes closed until she heard his intake of breathe, a gasp that escaped his lips.

With a heavy heart she opened her eyes and realised that the grey eyes that stared back at her were familiar, because none other than Sirius Black was standing in front of her.

Her heart was racing. She couldn't think straight.

Felicity had come to this party to get away from Sirius and here she was, standing in front of him, her hands in his hair, her lips plump and a bit bruised from kissing him.

"Oh fucking bloody hell."

Sirius finally found his voice is was hoarse and as he spoke, it was wobbly. "Felicity?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, NO." She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs but she was frozen. What had she done?

With as much dignity as she could muster, she quickly turned and briskly walked out. She passed the first year with the camera, who asked how much fun she had. She opened the door with shaky hands. She walked past Barnabas, the other first year now gone, the only trace he was there was the stool.

Felicity began to run.

Her stomach ached. She felt as if she were going to be sick and a couple times, she had to stop to force herself not to vomit. Everything was spinning, she felt as if she were going down a tunnel that just kept turning to the left. She ran to the only place she knew where to go.

Felicity ran to the tower.

She realised as she approached that she didn't have her wand, but thankfully, the door was unlocked. When she walked up the stairs, she slipped a couple times at not being able to see her feet, scraping her knees. The tears threatened to overflow but she kept going until she made it to the top.

She half expected Sirius to be standing there, but he wasn't. Felicity thought she ought to be thankful but she was disappointed. Why had he had to have been such a good kisser?

Felicity gulped the air greedily. She shivered, not realising how cold it had been up there.

Footsteps rushing up the stairs alerted her to someone and before she could turn away, Sirius bolted onto the landing. She turned, not even wanting to look at him.

There was a silence before he spoke. "You felt that, right?"

She shook her head, tears falling down her face.

"How could you not have felt that!" he was yelling. "You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me!"

"Merlin, Sirius!" Felicity exploded, goosebumps rising on her arms as she turned to look at him. His hair was fluttering in the wind and he looked angry. Her head was swimming with thoughts and emotions, trying to keep everything together but failing. "Can't you just leave me be for a moment?"

"No!" He roared. "I won't! Not until you listen!"

"Why should I listen to you?" Felicity roared back.

Sirius tried to level his voice but he couldn't, he still sounded as if he was yelling, even in his own ears. "You said before you trusted me."

"I _thought_ I trusted you."

Sirius lost it. "Are you daft woman? What was your evidence that I shagged Isabella? Because I didn't. After you left, I went and got my things and left too. You can ask anyone who was there that day, I didn't stay. I haven't spoken to Isabella since, but you wouldn't have known that because you've been ignoring me and brushing me off! If you've paid _any_ attention you'd notice that I haven't spoken to Isabella _at all_."

"I'm scared to let myself get close to you, because I'll get hurt!" Felicity screamed back, her mind a jumbled mess. "I don't want to be something that you'll like for a couple months then get bored of. _I want more._ I can't deny that I don't fancy you, because I do!" She strode up to him and grabbed the front of his dress clothes. "I can't get in too deep because if I get hurt it'll wreck me. Look at what happened so far! You didn't even do anything and I got it in my head that you were cheating on me _and we aren't even dating_."

His voice was barely above a whisper. "Why can't you give us a chance?"

"I'm frightened, Sirius. Proper frightened-"

His voice was hard and full of purpose. "Tell me what I have to do. D'you want me to go and tell the whole school that I fancy you? Fine, consider it done. You want me to woo you? I'll do that too." His hands moved to her face, softly pushing the hair away, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. "I don't have eyes for anyone else, Felicity. You are something so completely different and you always take me by surprise. I will do everything in my power to never hurt you if I can help it. You're so headstrong and brilliant, yet so soft and delicate. I can't believe you've been here the whole time and I've only just found you."

"I have a date with Bertram," she blurted.

Sirius smirked. "I know."

"I can't get out of it."

He rested his forehead on hers. "Don't."

"But-"

"Go out with Aubrey. Let him try to woo you. Then make your choice. If you find you fancy him, then go and be with him."

"You'd let me go? Just like that?"

Sirius chuckled. "I never said I'd let you go without a fight."

He brought his lips to hers and kissed her softly. The kiss was different; it was slow and meaningful, done with care and tenderness. Felicity felt like her insides were melting and she couldn't get enough.

"You don't fight fair," she observed, her mind reeling.

"I never said I would."


	11. Chapter 10

When Felicity woke the next morning, it was to a pounding headache. She was positively sure that she was going to vomit if she moved. She felt warm and comfortable and tired, oh so tired.

But there was a snore. It woke her, to the state that she opened her eyes and realised that she wasn't in her dormitory. Felicity was staring at the fireplace in the common room.

Her mind was fuzzy. How had she gotten here? What had happened at the party? She remembered talking to someone dressed as a ghost but somewhere along the line, she couldn't remember anything. Had someone wiped her memory?

It was then that she realised she wasn't alone. Someone was snoring in her ear and had their arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close. Their face was buried into her hair and she could feel every inch of them pressed against her, their legs even entwined.

She wasn't sure what time it was, but she figured it wasn't too early in the morning from the light spilling in through the window.

Felicity started to panic. What was she to do? And who was the person behind her? Had she…

She frantically moved her hands to her dress, making sure that she still had clothes on. After confirming that she wasn't sore and was fully clothed, she slowly started to sit up, her head pounding with every movement. When she stood she swayed a little, grabbing the arm from the chair to steady herself.

Felicity tried to get the courage to look behind her. She hoped dearly that she hadn't shagged this person, whoever they were. She wasn't sure she could live with the guilt of not being able to remember.

She counted to three, summoning up whatever dignity she had. Her jaw fell when she saw Sirius laying there and immediately smacked her forehead. How had she been so stupid? What had she done?

Felicity immediately began to shake him furiously. "Black!"

Sirius woke with a start before seeing her and trying to turn over. "Calling me Black are you?"

"What happened last night?" Felicity was becoming frantic.

"Dear Merlin, it's early. Come talk to me later when I'm not trying to sleep."

"Black, this isn't funny! I'm being serious-"

Sirius sat up, rubbing his eyes. "First of all, I am both Black and Sirius, although not in that order. You usually call me Sirius, which I have come to prefer over Black. Now, what are you on about?" He yawned.

She grabbed the front of his dress clothes. "What happened last night?"

Her tone must have woken him up further for he shot up from the couch and put his hands on her arms. "No, no! Nothing like that happened! We kissed, that was all."

"What?" came Felicity's squeak of a reply, she closed her eyes, hoping to erase everything. "Oh Merlin, what have I done?"

"Fea," Sirius said, trying to soothe her. "It's okay…"

"Drats! I shouldn't have gone, oh, I am so furious at you!"

"At me? Love, you're the one-"

"Don't call me 'love', Sirius Black!"

"What else shall I call you?" He mused, pulling her closer, his voice turning sultry. "Sweetcheeks? Honey? Darling?"

"None! Now, I'm going to go and get ready," Felicity pulled out of his arms and he gave a pout. "I expect to see you at breakfast. I want to know everything that happened last night." She tried to keep her voice stern and from wavering as she spoke.

Sirius smirked. "Like how you asked me to kiss you?"

The blush that Felicity felt made her whole face turn red like a tomato. She didn't say anything else to him, but went upstairs to try and focus on getting ready and not that Sirius' hand on her waist had felt nice.

Gemma was completely furious with her because she had run off and hadn't said a word last night. When Felicity told her that she couldn't remember what happened last night, Gemma handed her a bottle saying that it would help with the headache and the nausea. After she drank it, she instantaneously felt better.

On her way down to the Great Hall, she didn't see Sirius and faintly wondered if he was going to stand her up and not come down. The thought made her blood boil. So he could kiss her and not talk to her?

She had sat down and was pouring herself a cup of tea when Sirius sat down right beside her. Usually he sat across from her while Gemma and Lily flanked her on either side.

"Change of seating, I see," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"Thought it would be easier to talk when I'm sitting next to you. Plus, I presume you'd like your privacy on this matter." His eyes met hers, gazing over her as if he could figure out what was going on.

"Just tell me what happened." The silence stretched out before them. "Please," she added, as an afterthought.

"We were dancing, do you remember that?"

Felicity sat still. "Vaguely, yes."

"After we danced you said you felt dizzy so we went to stand by the wall. You told me to kiss you, before the enchantment faded and we were still in costume. So I did. When we... er… finished, the enchantment had lifted so our costumes were gone. You saw it was me and practically sprinted out. I went to find James and tell him I was leaving but by the time I went to follow you out, I couldn't find you. I remembered our conversation about the tower, so I went there first to look and you were standing there. We-"

Felicity interrupted him. "Did you know it was me? At the party, when we kissed."

Sirius was silent, staring at his empty plate. "I'm not sure."

"You… what?"

"I think so, I want to say yes. But my night is blurry too, I was drinking more than you were."

She paused for a moment. "Go on. Finish the night."

"There's nothing much more to tell," Sirius said honestly, taking a piece of toast and shoving it in his mouth. He chewed and thought about it. "You were tired and cold so I gave you my jacket. I wanted to go back to the common room but you wanted to stay and watch the stars a bit. So we did. Then when you were falling asleep I took us back to the common room. We must've fallen asleep on the couch."

"So… we didn't do anything?"

Sirius' cheeks turned slightly red. "No, we didn't shag, Felicity." His tone was hard.

Felicity let out a long sigh; she hadn't realised how much tension had been in her body until she let herself relax. "Thank you, Sirius."

His head whipped towards her. "For what?"

She blushed. "For not taking advantage."

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a scoundrel." He sounded slightly annoyed.

She piled some pancakes onto her plate. "I never said you were."

"I meant what I said," Sirius said, his tone unwavering.

"Just now?" Felicity was confused.

"No, last night. You said you had a date with Aubrey."

"Yes," said Felicity, staring at her plate. She was avoiding looking at Sirius. Slowly more students were beginning to trickle in, most of them Ravenclaw's and Hufflepuff's.

"You probably don't remember me saying this, but I think you should go on your date with Aubrey."

"Well, yes, because I can't cancel-wait, what?"

Sirius chuckled. "Go on your date with Aubrey."

"You're okay with this?"

He looked uncomfortable. "No-"

"So…?"

"Of course I'd rather you not see anyone else. How many times do I have to tell you that I fancy you?"

Felicity finally let herself look at him.

"I know we kissed, which definitely means something-" Sirius said, turning his whole body to face Felicity, food forgotten. "But I also know that just kissing someone doesn't have to mean a lot either. This is why you should go out with Aubrey; figure yourself out, take a week or so and make a decision."

Felicity was stunned by his words. "You can't really mean that. You, Sirius Black, wait for me?"

Sirius smirked. "I was actually hoping that when I told you what happened last night you would have just launched yourself at me. But now I'm hoping your date goes horribly and then I'll be able to swoop in and save the day."

Sirius picked up Felicity's hand and kissed her knuckles. "You don't fight fair," she breathed, taken aback by his kindness.

"Funny," he said. He smirked and placed their hands on the table. "You said the same thing last night."

"Am I interrupting something?" said a voice from behind them and they both turned to see Bertram Aubrey standing there, looking utterly confused.

Felicity snatched her hand out of Sirius'. "No, of course not. How are you Bertram?"

With his eyebrows still furrowed together he took a hesitant seat beside Felicity, facing the opposite way. "I'm alright. I came to ask if you were still up for our date, I was thinking Saturday?"

"Yes, I-"

Before Felicity could complete her sentence Bertram interrupted her. "Perfect. It's a Hogsmeade weekend. I'll plan everything; just meet me after breakfast outside the Great Hall."

He seemed in better spirits when he walked away, a slight grin on his face. As Felicity was watching him go, she felt dread in her stomach. She had been about to tell him she had changed her mind, but it was obviously too late now and she didn't want to give Sirius the satisfaction of knowing that she didn't even want to go on a date with Bertram.

"All the Aubrey's are fucking crazy," Sirius muttered, piling the food onto his plate. Felicity didn't realise why he had said that until she caught the eye of Isabella, who seemed to be glaring at her from across the hall.

She turned, not wanting to even begin to understand why this girl suddenly was angry at her. Gemma plopped down in front of the pair, muttering a good morning, as Lily sat next to her and James, Remus and Peter shuffled in next to Gemma. From James' look it seemed as if Felicity wasn't the only one who felt tired this morning.

The hall filled with noise as the rest of the students filed in but Felicity sat silently. She was tired and really wanted to crawl into her bed and go back to sleep instead of going to classes all day.

The mail arrived with a screech of owls and Thunder, Gemma's grey owl coming towards them. As he landed, he stuck out his leg to Felicity and immediately starting hooting at Gemma and nipping her fingers affectionately as she stroked his feathers and fed him the crust from her toast.

Attached was a copy of the daily prophet which she set aside to read when she got the chance and two letters, one addressed to Gemma and one to Felicity. She immediately recognized her mother's writing and tore open the letter with a smile.

Mrs. Barnett outlined Melody's growth and Penelope's vigor for reading. She spoke about ABBA's new song, which Vivian loved and couldn't listen to enough. Mr. Barnett had sprained his wrist after rough housing with Penelope and Vivian but was looking to make a full recovery. Mrs. Barnett asked why Felicity hadn't written to her in a couple weeks and if everything was alright.

When Felicity put down the letter she felt guilty. She should have been writing to her mother and telling her of the party, well the good parts at least. As she opened her copy of the prophet, she vowed that in the evening she would write to her mother to put her out of her worry.

The front page of the daily prophet wasn't much better, as there had been another attack in a muggle neighbourhood. There had been no casualties as the Aurors had gotten an anonymous tip about the whereabouts of certain Death Eaters. But the ensuing duel that had erupted in the muggle streets had left 3 Aurors with minor wounds. The muggles that had witnessed the ordeal had the confundus charm cast upon them.

The rest of the day passed slowly and Felicity was glad when she could finally rest her eyes and catch up on the sleep she desperately needed.

When Saturday arrived, Felicity awoke before the other girls, the only thing on her mind being a strong cup of tea.

Felicity sighed, knowing that her date with Bertram was that day and that she'd have to spend the day with him. The thought wasn't too unpleasant, yet she knew that she wasn't looking forward to it.

She dressed quickly, in jeans and a warm sweater before throwing her cloak over her arm. She told the girls to have a good day before she left and heard mumbled replies from all of them as they were still sleeping. Not many of the older students woke up early on the weekends so she wasn't surprised that the common room was relatively empty and quiet.

The great hall was sparse as well, only a couple of people were awake this early on a Saturday, one of them being Remus, who was going over his charms notes with a bowl of porridge.

"Good Morning, Remus," Felicity said as she sat down beside him.

When Remus glanced at her he did a double take. "Thought you were Gemma for a moment."

Felicity smiled. "Gemma? Up at this hour on a Saturday?" They both shared a laugh at Gemma's expense, for she wouldn't be up for another couple hours.

"You're right," Remus said, smiling. "My apologies, Felicity."

Felicity loaded her plate and poured herself a cup of tea. "How come you are up so early Remus?"

"I'm usually up this early," he said with a smile. "But this morning I'm working on charms."

"Say," Felicity said, "How are you fairing in Transfiguration? I'm having more than a little difficulty this year."

As they chatted about the homework load that McGonagall had given them and the practicum that would eventually come at the end of the year, Felicity realised she was feeling more at ease with herself. Remus had always been easiest to talk to and at the moment, she forgot why she had been a bundle of nerves.

That was at least until Bertram came to the table. "Hello," he said, gaining the pairs attention. "Are you ready," his voice seemed excited and Felicity merely sighed quietly.

She plastered a smile on her face and grabbed her cloak from beside her. "Thanks for the chat Remus, hope you don't get too caught up in charms today."

Remus smiled back and spoke politely. "I'll try. Have a good trip you two."

Felicity fastened her cloak around her and wondered faintly if she should have brought her scarf, but as they stepped out into the nippy air, she thought better of it.

"How are you fairing today?" Bertram asked, slinking his arm around her shoulders. Felicity felt the urge to shove it off. Instead, she pretended to side step something on the road and moved out of his grasp. Bertram didn't seem to notice and swung his arm around her shoulder again when she moved close enough.

"I'd be fairing a lot better if the weather was a little nicer." As they got further away from Hogwarts, the wind seemed to get stronger and colder.

"That's alright, I've got something good planned for us today," He smiled at her charmingly and surprisingly, Felicity felt herself smiling back.

"Yeah? Do I get to know what we're doing?"

"Of course not! It's a surprise for a reason."

"Oh, I've never been good at surprises! We planned a party for my sister once and I accidentally let it slip while she was around."

"Don't you and Gemma have the same birthday?" Bertram's eyebrows furrowed.

"No, my other sister," Felicity said. She wasn't sure why she felt irritated with Bertram for not knowing about her other sisters. "There are five of us in total."

"Five sisters!" Bertram exclaimed. "I've got one and that's enough."

"Gemma and I are triplets, our other sister Vivian, she's the oldest, and she's a muggle."

"Wait, you and Gemma are witches and your triplet sister is a muggle?"

"Well, our parents are muggles. So it would make sense."

"What about your other sisters," Bertram asked, suddenly curious. "Are they muggles too?"

"We aren't sure about Penelope yet, she's almost 10 so we'll find out in a year or so. Although she's never shown any sort of magical ability. And then Melody, she's only a couple months old. So we have to wait a bit with her."

"How do you feel about that? Having a sister who is so young, basically 16 years younger than you?"

They had walked into Hogsmede and Felicity glanced around at the shops around her. Plenty of Third and Fourth years were already bustling about with the odd gaggle of older students. She decided to change the subject. "Where are we headed?"

"I figured we could go get some tea," Bertram said, steering Felicity in the direction of Madame Puddifoot's. She felt a laugh bubbling up and couldn't believe she was actually going into the shop, sure that it had to be some sort of mistake.

"You sure you aren't mistaking tea for butterbeer?" she asked, but Bertram just smiled at her and kept walking, thinking that she must have been joking.

The tea shop was small and covered in different shades of pink, some brighter and some duller. The tables were quite close together and it seemed as if there was frill on every available surface. When they entered, a high pitched bell proceeded them and alerted Madame Puddifoot that they were there. She bustled out, dressed in pink herself, and showed them to a table, conjuring up a kettle of warm water and assorted tea.

"Any coffee, dears?" she asked, her voice high pitched and seeming to go with the atmosphere of the shop.

"Yeah, I'll have a cup," Bertram said, smiling up at her.

"I'm good with tea, thanks," mumbled Felicity, quite embarrassed that she was even here. Gemma always made fun of the shop and the many boys that took her there and Felicity could now see why, it didn't seem romantic to her at all; mainly stuffed and cramped with loads of pink and strong smelling aroma's.

As the two sat there, more students than Felicity ever thought possible seemed to trickle into the shop. They all sat close to each other at the tables, holding hands and even snogging. It made Felicity feel uncomfortable and she interrupted Bertram's Quidditch story to say something.

"It's getting a bit crowded in here, d'you fancy heading over to the Three Broomsticks for some lunch?" They had already been there for a couple hours and Felicity wasn't sure how much more tea she could drink.

"Are you sure?" Bertram asked. "They do serve food here; let me see if I can get us something…"

"No, that's quite alright," Felicity said, taking a couple Sickles and Knuts out of her pockets to pay for their tea and coffee. "I'm sure the Three Broomsticks has better food than this place."

"No, here, let me pay…" Bertram picked up her money and placed it back in her hands before taking some out of his own pockets. His face was red and he kept shifting his eyes to the other couples around the room to see if they had noticed this exchange. Felicity rolled her eyes, for everyone in the small shop was focused on other things and watching Bertram and Felicity was not one of them.

When they stepped outside, Felicity felt chilly again. The wind seemed to have picked up and it was starting to rain. "Got to love fall weather," Bertram said, trying to make light of the rain hitting him in the face.

 _This is stupid,_ Felicity thought. _I'd rather be at the castle next to the fire. Make up an excuse to get out of here!_

Bertram was droning on about his Quidditch story, but Felicity was no longer paying attention. She was daydreaming about getting back to the castle, taking a nice hot shower and then lounging in front of the fire before dinner, perhaps even chatting more with Remus if he'd like about Transfiguration. Her thoughts floated to Sirius and suddenly she was sitting next to the fire in an empty common room, snogging Sirius. Felicity was so caught up in her thoughts that when the screams started, she was utterly complexed.

Bertram was looking around too, his Quidditch story forgotten. "What's that noise?"

Felicity felt a chill run through her. "Bertram, it sounds like screams." Her mind was running crazy with explanations, but the cries didn't stop and suddenly there was a stampede of students running around the corner of a shop and headed right for them.

Felicity quickly dashed into a small nook of an alley, dragging Bertram with her. She slammed them both into the wall as she lost her footing on the wet ground. Felicity's arm was outstretched to catch her fall, her hand slamming into the ground. As she stood her arm became numb with pain and she saw stars as the rain began to get harder, pelting their faces. Her foot slipped again and Bertram grabbed her from falling, yanking her arm and making her nearly faint from the pain. She let out a whimper, which Bertram mistook for her being scared.

"Don't worry, we'll get out of here," Bertram said, tucking her underneath his arm, taking his wand out.

People were still running in the streets and suddenly there was a faint pop, before Dumbledore appeared not but feet from them. He turned to them and ushered them towards the castle before dashing the opposite way, towards where the screams were coming from. "Get to the castle," he yelled, trying to be heard over the screams and rain.

"C'mon," Bertram yelled in her ear, yanking her bad arm before letting go and breaking off in a run.

The rain pelted them as they quickly exited the village and made their way back to the castle. Many students were with them, all running against the pelting rain, panting. The air was getting colder and Felicity could faintly see her breath as she ran, clutching her sore arm against her chest. Bertram seemed to have one goal in mind, which was getting to the castle safely and quickly and Felicity was left behind while she tried to keep up with his long legs.

The rain was coming down hard as Felicity ran to the castle; now she could barely see 10 feet in front of her. She had never seen the rain come down as hard as she did now. Many students bumped into her as she tried to keep her legs moving, making her jostle her arm. Her jeans felt tight and heavy as she ran, her cloak billowing behind her, the only thought of getting to the castle in her mind.

As she ran, Felicity tried to think of what could be wrong with her arm. Her first guess was a broken elbow, but with it being her wand arm there was no chance that she wanted to try and fix it, especially while she was running.

When she finally saw the castle in sight, she was panting heavily and allowed her legs to slow down into a walk. Her heart was beating fast and she had a copper taste in her mouth.

"Felicity! Felicity!" Came the sound of someone shouting her name. The figure dashed around people and she came face to face with James, who looked frightened. "Thank Merlin you're alright!" He yelled over the rain, grasping her shoulders and pulling her into a hug. She felt odd, as James had never made any sort of physical contact with her before.

Felicity let out a yelp of pain. "James, my arm!" She yelled as he stepped away to get a look at her. He seemed frantic as he brought her into the castle.

They stood in the entrance to the castle, finally free from the rain. Felicity was properly soaked, right down to her shoes which made squeaking noises when she walked. Her hair that had been pulled back into a ponytail was now plastered to her face and neck. James was fairing about the same as her, his maroon sweater was sticking to his body and his hair, which usually stood up in every which way possible was now plastered to his forehead.

"What happened? We were having lunch in the Great Hall and suddenly all these students started running in, saying something happened in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore apparated straight away."

"I don't know what happened," Felicity said as she shivered. "We were walking to the Three Broomsticks when we heard these screams and suddenly everyone was running back to the castle!"

James nodded, obviously upset that she didn't have any more information on the subject. "We weren't sure where you were. Lily and Gemma went to go check the dormitory and library, in case you had come back early because of the rain. Sirius was searching the rest of the castle, Remus and Peter went to search the grounds."

"Well, I'm alright. Although I can't say the same for Bertram."

James looked confused as he turned and saw Bertram chatting up Isabella, who was clutching him like he was some sort of hero. "Is he hurt?"

"He will be when I'm through with him," Felicity muttered darkly as she and James made their way to the hospital wing. She told James how he fled and left her behind.

James shook his head as he held onto her good arm and helped her up the stairs. "It's funny when there is actual danger, people show their true colours."

Felicity couldn't have agreed more.

When they arrived at the hospital wing, James said he was going to go and find everyone to let them know where Felicity was. She nodded and went into the hospital wing, where she noticed that she wasn't the only one who had been scraped up in the mad dash up to the castle. There was a couple other students lying in beds with scrapes and cuts, but the worst had to be a fifth year Hufflepuff who had fallen and hit his head. He was wrapped in bandages but Felicity could still see the purple bruise that was peeking out of his forehead.

When Madame Pomfrey came to her, it was with a smile. "No need to help, dear, I've got it under control."

"Actually, I've hurt my arm; do you have a moment to look at it?"

Madame Pomfrey looked apologetic as she led Felicity to an empty bed. "I'm so sorry dear, I thought because you'd shown up that you were here to help!"

Felicity smiled at the matron. "Of course, no need to apologise."

"Alright, let's take a look." As gently as she could, Madame Pomfrey removed her cloak and sweater as gently as she could, leaving Felicity in a tank top, which was very wet and clinging to her. She felt uncomfortable as a couple third years ogled her, but she knew her arm had to be looked at. "Ah yes, looks like you-"

"Either broken or fractured the elbow."

Madame Pomfrey looked impressed. "Precisely. A quick spell and a potion should fix you up and you can be on your way." She bustled about to the cabinet where she kept all the potions and elixirs, grabbing a sling on her way too.

She placed a green looking potion in Felicity's hand, which she drank without question. Madame Pomfrey muttered a quick spell and with a yelp of pain her elbow seemed to be fixed. Together they put the sling on her arm, making sure it felt good. The matron reminded her to take it easy today. Smiling, Felicity gathered her clothes in her good arm and made her out of the Hospital Wing.

Felicity wasn't even down the hall when there was a pounding of footsteps. Gemma and Lily appeared and rushed over to her, their feet echoing on the walls.

"Are you alright?" Gemma said, sounding slightly breathless. "What happened to your arm?"

"We were so worried," gasped Lily, who was panting. "James came and found us, told us you were in the Hospital Wing before buggering off to find Remus and Peter, they were outside-"

"Yes," Felicity said, grinning at them both. She had never felt as adored as she did now. "I'm fine, just hurt my arm a bit."

"You look absolutely drenched," Gemma said, grabbing the cloak and sweater from her good arm.

"Yes," Lily agreed, taking in Felicity's lack of clothes. "Let's get you upstairs and changed-"

Down the hall, someone shouted her name. The three girls turned to see Remus and Peter, who were as soaked as Felicity was.

"What happened? We heard there was Death Eaters-" Peter said, his voice quivering in fright.

"Your arm all fixed up?" Remus said at the same time.

Gemma and Lily gasped. "Death Eaters?" Gemma said, her face going white. "In Hogsmeade? Who did you hear that from?" She glanced at Felicity, as if she was frightened of what could have happened.

"We heard some seventh years talking about it. Said they apparated and were trying to scare some people in the Three Broomsticks into turning," Peter seemed positively frightened by the thought.

Felicity shivered, a coldness taking over her body. They had been on their way to the Three Broomsticks, what if they had left a little earlier and been there….

"Felicity, are you all right?" Lily seemed worried. "You're looking a little green…"

Felicity could faintly hear her own voice in her head. "We were headed to the Three Broomsticks, it was my idea… wanted lunch…"

Gemma placed her hands on either side of Felicity's face. "It's alright, you're safe. You're here."

"Gemma's right," Remus said, gently putting his hand on her shoulder, his voice soothing. "No use thinking about what ifs. You're all right and back safe."

As if they all collectively thought the same thing, Gemma started to lead them back to Gryffindor tower, her arm around Felicity's waist, keeping her close. Felicity felt so tired, as if the events from the day had drained her of all the energy she had.

"I think you'd be pretty proud of me, Gem," Felicity said, breaking the silence that surrounded them. "I ran most of the way back, probably could have beaten you in a race with all the adrenaline that was going through me…"

They all laughed and Gemma faltered, trying to think up a witty retort but coming up short.

There was another shout from down the long corridor they were walking, this time Sirius and James running towards them. Felicity's heart leapt into her throat.

It seemed like an eternity until Sirius reached her, he was running full out towards her and didn't seem to be stopping or slowing down. When he reached her, he lifted by her waist so her feet left the ground and twirled her around before setting her down. Sirius clutched Felicity to himself in a tight hug and although her arm was slightly hurting, she didn't say anything.

"James said you were in the hospital wing…"

"My arm…"

"I thought something terrible had happened to you…" He let her go briefly to look at her face and sweep the wet hair off her cheeks and forehead. She revelled in it, the feeling of his hands on her face. This was something new to her; to feel appreciated and worried about. Usually she had been the one worrying about Gemma; when she was flying or playing Quidditch. Sirius rested his forehead against hers, his hands still on her waist holding her close. "Please tell me your date went horribly."

Felicity couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her and the others followed suit.


	12. Chapter 11

When Sirius woke up that Saturday, he felt dreadful.

Not in the way where he thought he was going to be sick, but in the way that whatever he thought about made him feel grouchy and horrid. He didn't want to get out of bed, he didn't want to go to breakfast or lunch or even dinner. He wanted to sulk all day and wait until Felicity came back.

But most importantly, he didn't want to think what day it was. For today was his birthday.

He was turning the dreadful 17. James and Peter had wanted to throw him a party in the common room, it was a big milestone after all. They had promised loud music, booze and dancing but Sirius didn't want to do any of those things.

When Sirius thought where Felicity was at that moment he was filled with hot rage. He tried not to picture her laughing; tossing her hair, possibly even flirting with Aubrey, but the thoughts filled his mind and consumed him. He was becoming a person he didn't recognize and was beginning to experience feelings he'd never had before.

He dated more than his fair share of girls at Hogwarts and honestly, even outside Hogwarts. For as long as he could remember, there had always been a girl that he could charm into a snog in a broom cupboard or even convince to have quick shag. But it hadn't been until that summer that all his usual thoughts and wants had been thrown out the window.

He never really paid much attention to Felicity. They knew each other because of Gemma, but Sirius had never noticed her. She was quiet, kept to her studies and didn't usually speak much. There had been nothing overly special about her and when Gemma had declared that her sister was off limits to them, Sirius hadn't bothered. But now he knew.

He knew how kind she was, how the sound of her laugh made him want to do crazy things. He loved brushing her hair away from her face and staring into her big hazel eyes. He enjoyed making her smile or smirk and most importantly, he couldn't get her out of his mind.

Sirius had barely slept all night. He tossed and turned, and debated just taking the invisibility cloak from James' trunk, putting it on and waiting for Felicity in the common room. He'd follow her to breakfast and even on her date, just to see if there was something he could do to turn the odds in his favor…

But that would have made him a cheat. Did he really want to win Felicity over with deceit?

"Sirius!" James said from the other side of his drapes. He rapped on the wood of the bed post. "Lunch is in 15, get up!"

In response, Sirius buried his head in his pillows. For a couple moments, he thought he was going to fall back asleep before James rapped on the bed post again. Sighing, he got up mumbling.

"Was ickle Sirius having a good dream?" James teased, throwing on a maroon sweater. Peter sniggered and Sirius aimed a kick at James before closing the bathroom door.

He wondered if Felicity was having a good time. The thought that she might be made him feel horrid. She should be at Hogsmeade with him and not that bloke.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, wet hair and a towel around his waist, Peter had already left for breakfast, which left James; who was sitting on his bed playing with the Marauders Map.

"So I figure if we leave sometime in the afternoon to get the Firewhiskey…"

"James, I already told you I didn't want to have some big party-"

James pouted. "What if I promised it'd be a small party?"

Sirius sighed, pulling on jeans. "I really don't want to be celebrating today."

James fell back onto his bed and groaned. "If you won't let me throw a party then Remus will refuse next and then we'll never be partying again."

"James," Sirius sounded exasperated.

"The world is coming to an end!" shouted James, being dramatic.

Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Let's go have lunch before Peter eats it all."

James threw a crumpled up piece of parchment at the back of Sirius' head before he followed him down the staircase.

"What if we pulled a prank?" James suggested. "We could do something to a couple first years..."

Sirius thought about it and as soon as he didn't answer with no right away, James started throwing ideas at him. They were cut short as they reached the bottom of the boys' staircase and Gemma stood there with a grin on her face.

"Look who decided to roll out of bed," she said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Morning, Gem," Sirius said, side stepping her so he could make his way to the portrait hole.

"More like afternoon," James muttered.

"Happy Birthday, Sirius! So what's the plan for tonight?" Gemma asked eagerly.

"Sirius said no to a party," said James, his pouting face back.

"What!" Gemma said, outraged. "But we always have a party-"

"I don't want one this year," Sirius said simply as he slipped out of the portrait hole and made his way to the Great Hall. The other two followed.

"But why?" demanded Gemma, falling into step with him. "How am I supposed to get Felicity to come if there is no party?"

"She doesn't like parties," Sirius said after a couple moments of silence. "So she wouldn't come anyways."

Gemma grinned. "I think you underestimate my sister and how much she fancies you."

Sirius snorted. "If she fancied me enough she wouldn't be out with that bloke Aubrey right now."

James roared with laughter. "Is that where she is? No wonder you're grouchy today. Sirius has finally met his match!" Gemma laughed along with James.

"You know," she said, putting her arm through Sirius'. "I'll tell you a secret; last night, Felicity was thinking up excuses to try and get out of her date with Bertram."

Sirius perked up at this. "Don't tease me."

Gemma drew an 'x' on her heart. "I solemnly swear."

"See mate!" James was enthusiastic. "She does fancy you but she just didn't know how to get out of her date with Aubrey." The thought did make Sirius feel a little better.

"How do you know she was," Sirius said skeptically. He eyed Gemma to see if she was lying.

Gemma sniggered. "I'll tell you another secret; Felicity talks in her sleep sometimes."

This caught Sirius' attention and he stopped mid step. "You're joking!"

With a laugh, Gemma skipped ahead of the two boys. "I've lived with her for 17 years, I know many, many things."

A smile came across Sirius' face. He turned to James. "A _small_ party."

James let out a whooping noise and skipped after Gemma, the two of them singing, 'Sirius is in love'.

The Great Hall was alive with noise, as many students filled their bellies with the great feast laid before them. Sirius sat next to James and Gemma; they had arrived mid-conversation between Lily and Marlene.

"D'you know what she wore? Those awful jeans and that sweater – the dark blue one."

"She took her cloak but not her scarf. Maybe she was hoping to get close enough to keep warmer."

Sirius looked up to the ceiling at noticed the dark clouds that hung over. It looked like it was on the verge of letting out a huge storm any moment. He tried to tune out Lily and Marlene's voices but when Remus chimed in he couldn't help but listen.

"She didn't seem too happy to be leaving this morning," he said, flipping through his charms notes.

"Why d'you say that, Remus?" Lily asked. "Was she upset?"

Remus blushed at being pulled into the conversation. "No, she wasn't upset… She just – when Bertram came to get her, she didn't look like she wanted to leave. She was making a face…"

"This one?" Gemma said, pulling a grouchy looking pout with a half-smile.

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "No, no. You're doing it wrong. It's more like a grimace. She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes." Everyone within ear shot of Sirius became quiet. He looked up from his food to see them all staring at him. "What? I notice things."

"You notice things about _Felicity_ ," James said in a mumble that was meant to be heard. Marlene snickered.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they were back soon," Gemma said, taking a spoonful of soup. "They left quite early this morning and there are only so many cups of tea a person can drink."

"Oh, you don't think he took her to Madame Puddifoot's, do you?" Lily said, her face turning to disgust.

"That place is awful," chimed in Marlene.

"Do you really think so?" James asked. "But isn't it supposed to be-"

"Don't say romantic," Lily cut him off. "It smells weird and everything is pink and frilly. No girl in their right mind would want to spend more than an hour there. And even then, it's like torture."

James had a look on his face that made it seem like he was committing everything Lily said to memory.

"Well, I'm off," Marlene said, pushing her plate away from her. "I'll let you know how it goes, Lils."

"Yes! I'll be in the common room or library, come find me when you get back!" she said as Marlene left the Great Hall.

"Where's she off to?" asked James, ever the nosey one.

"Oh," Lily said, waving her hand. "She's got a study date with some Hufflepuff."

"Yeah," Sirius whispered to James. "I'm sure they'll be studying hard." James almost spit his food out from laughing and went into a coughing fit. Remus slapped him on the back a couple times while Sirius smirked into his goblet of pumpkin juice.

There was a faint whooshing sound to be heard and when Sirius looked up to the enchanted ceiling, he could see that it had started raining. It made his mood even happier.

"Oh look at that, it's raining. Poor weather we're having." His statements were met with a smile and a laugh.

"You're a poor sport," Lily said, pointing her fork at him.

"Me?" Sirius said feigning innocence.

"If you try anything…" she warned, her eyes looking fierce.

"Lils," James said which earned him a kick from under the table. " _Fine._ Lily," he restarted which earned him a nod, "how could he do anything when he's sitting here with us?"

Before she could say anything, a hundred owls suddenly screeched and flew into the great hall, carrying packages and letters. Two owls landed in front of Sirius, both carrying a package and a letter. He immediately recognized the tawny owl as the Potter's and open the letter and package, which revealed a handful of galleons and a new broom kit. He felt his heart swell at the thought of Mrs. Potter remembering his birthday and having enough kindness to go out and get him something, as she did every year. The letter with the galleons was short and read;

'Take your girl out for a nice butterbeer'

He laughed at the scratchy hand writing of Mr. Potter and knew that he was talking about Felicity. The second owl was Thunder, Gemma's grey owl. The letter was written by Mrs. Barnett and wished him a happy birthday, while the package contained a new green jumper and some of her homemade banana muffins and chocolate chip cookies, his favourite.

"Funny that she sends you all her baking but her children are forgotten," Gemma said longingly, looking at the muffins that Sirius received.

"Looks like she's got a favourite," said Sirius, gloating.

Suddenly, there was a commotion outside the Great Hall. Many students were running in from the rain and yelling. Sirius rolled his eyes and went back to eating, thinking that it was just the rain that had people squealing and yelling.

But then a couple of seventh years, whom Sirius recognized from Quidditch dashed through the Great Hall right up to Dumbledore. He looked very grave for a moment, spoke quickly to Professor McGonagall and then vanished with a pop.

"Something's wrong," said Peter, his eyes flickering nervously.

McGonagall quickly left the hall, her robes fluttering behind her.

Sirius stopped the seventh years who were walking right by the table. "What's going on?" he asked.

The seventh years looked at each other before one of them spoke up in a grave voice. "Death Eaters, trying to scare people into joining at the Three Broomsticks." They didn't say anything else or expand on the subject as they walked away.

Sirius turned to James. "You don't think-"

"Not at Hogsmeade?"

"Broad daylight?"

"No…"

"What about Felicity," Lily suddenly said, fright in her voice. "She's still there, in Hogsmeade!"

Sirius' blood ran cold. He felt as if his whole body had turned to stone. The dread that filled him was overwhelming.

James took control as Sirius sat there, unable to move or do anything. So many thoughts ran through his mind. What if…

"Lily, Gemma, go check the dormitory and the library. Remus, Peter, you go check the grounds," Peter gave a mumble about the rain but the glare he earned from James shut him up quick. "Sirius, you search the rest of the castle, go to the Ravenclaw tower and see if they went there-"

"No," Sirius said, finding his voice. "I'm going to Hogsmeade-"

"They won't let people out past the grounds," James said quickly. "Go and search the castle, I'll follow the trail and see if I can find her." James clapped him on the shoulder and the group quickly set off in different directions. It took a moment before Sirius's feet would move of their own accord.

He quickly sprinted up to the Ravenclaw Tower and badgered a third year girl to go and look in the common room. When she came back empty, Sirius went to the opposite side of the castle to the tower that he knew Felicity loved. He took the stairs; two at a time and by the time he reached the top he was completely out of breathe and had a stitch in his side. There was no trace of Felicity and he was running out of places to go looking for her. The rain that was coming down made it hard to see; he could barely see anything at a distance.

Sirius took to sprinting up and down corridors, yelling at people as he passed if they had seen her. Most didn't know who she was but some did and said they hadn't seen her. By the time he doubled back and was headed to the Entrance Hall he spotted James, who was rightly soaked.

"I haven't found any luck-" Sirius said quickly, panting.

"Found her…" James started, who was also out of breath from all the running. "Left her… Hospital Wing..."

James didn't get another word out for Sirius was flying up the steps and sprinting to the Hospital Wing. His lungs hurt like they never had before but he didn't stop or slow down and by the sounds bouncing off the corridor walls, James was right behind him.

Sirius tried to shut the thoughts out; the horrid ones that were of Felicity laying in a hospital bed unconscious but no matter how hard he tried they still surfaced. He rounded the last corner and sprinted into the Hospital Wing, wheezing.

Madame Pomfrey took in his state and came rushing forward. "Mister Black, whatever is the matter?"

"Felicity… James said she was here," Sirius tried to get all the words out but ended up sputtering the last bit and having a coughing fit.

"Miss Barnett left but a couple minutes ago, I think she was headed back to her dormitory…"

Sirius didn't stay to hear the rest but took off down the corridor with James close behind him. He was relieved that she wasn't overly hurt and his heart was swelling at getting to see her face again. He rounded the corner and saw the group of them.

"Felicity!" He shouted and she turned at once. He ran to her.

His heart was beating fast and his legs felt like jelly but he didn't care. He was getting closer to her; she had the faintest hint of a smile on her face and then suddenly he was in front of her, grabbing her waist, pulling her towards him and lifting her feet off the ground, giving her a twirl.

Sirius could feel the dampness of her clothes through his but he didn't care. She was here, she was safe and unharmed. "James said you were in the hospital wing," he said.

"My arm…" she mumbled in return.

"I thought something terrible had happened to you…" His voice died off as his throat closed up at the thought. He pulled away to look at her face, which was paler than usual but still the same. Her hair was dripping and sticking to her face so he gently pushed it back and when she blinked, he could have sworn that her eyes stayed closed a second longer than normal.

All the worry seeped from his body as he rested his forehead against hers. "Please tell me your date went horribly," he said, saying the only thing that would come to his mind.

When she and the others laughed, Sirius' heart swelled. Her laughter was becoming his favourite sound and he'd give anything to hear it as much as he could.

"Take me back to the dormitories so I can clean up and I'll tell you whatever you want to hear," she said, gazing up at him with a smile.

"Yes, sure, whatever you want," he said quickly, taking any chance he could get to spend more time with her. Before he knew what he was doing, he moved his hands to cup her face and brought his lips down to hers.

James sighed and practically shouted "Finally!"

When they broke apart, Felicity's face was red with a blush and Sirius couldn't keep the grin from his face.

"Well," Gemma said as Peter tried to find words. "Everyone could see that coming from a mile away."

Later that evening, James and Sirius were under the invisibility cloak, making their way back to the common room with bottles of fire whiskey clutched in their arms. The plan was to meet at the Room of Requirement, a room that Remus had found last year and was increasingly coming in handy. However, Sirius and James thought it would come in handy to make sure everyone had left before they headed there themselves.

They had turned the corner, spotted their group of friends and were moments away from taking off the invisibility cloak when a figure appeared around the corner that made Sirius angry, for it was none other than Bertram Aubrey casually walking towards Felicity.

Sirius and James crept closer so they could hear the conversation.

"Bertram," Felicity said, sounding surprised. "What are you..?"

"I thought I'd come to see how you're fairing. Not so well as I can see by your arm," was his response, as he pointed to the sling she was wearing.

Unsure of what to do, Felicity told the others to go on without her and that she'd be along shortly.

"Headed to a party?" Bertram asked, standing with his hands in his pockets. "I heard it was Black's birthday today."

"How did you know?"

"Isabella," he said simply. When Felicity didn't say anything, Bertram continued to talk. "Look, I wanted to apologise about today, it definitely wasn't how I wanted it to turn out…"

Sirius could feel his blood boiling and his breathing hitch. James gave him a look that meant 'Shut it or we'll be found'.

"I know what happened, with the Death Eaters in Hogsmeade, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known they would be there," Felicity said, pity showing on her face.

"I know," Bertram sighed, looking at his shoes. "But the way I acted wasn't fair, leaving you there…"

"It's alright, I understand. People do strange things when under pressure."

Bertram looked up at Felicity and took a deep breath before he spoke again. "I wanted to try again."

Felicity looked uncomfortable. "I don't think that's necessary, Bertram."

That obviously wasn't the response he was expecting because his face showed confusion. "Is it because of Black?"

There was a moment of awkward silence. "Yes."

Bertram sighed and looked at his shoes before glancing back up at Felicity with a pained expression. "Don't worry, no one stands a chance if the girl is hooked on Black. Look at my sister, she's a lost cause." He paused for a moment, clearly thinking of what he was going to say next. "I just hope he doesn't hurt you more than he already has."

Without another word, Bertram began to walk away. Felicity looked at a loss for words before she found her voice. "He won't." She spoke with vigour and passion to Bertram's retreating back, but he didn't turn to acknowledge her.

Felicity stood there until Bertram was out of sight. James made to move and pull the cloak off but Sirius stopped him, putting his finger to his lips. The boys retreated to a corner to watch what Felicity would do.

When she turned she looked furious. She kicked the wall a couple times muttering, "Stupid, boys. It's. Not. My. Fault."

Felicity stifled a cry, putting her forehead against the cold stone wall. She took a few deep breathes, to calm her breathing and still James and Sirius watched her.

"Oh Sirius, what am I getting myself into," Felicity muttered before turning and going down the corridor that would lead her to the Room of Requirement.

James and Sirius waited until they couldn't hear her footsteps before talking.

"Are we going to say anything?" James asked.

Sirius couldn't find the words so he just shook his head.


	13. Chapter 12

"Now, now," Felicity said, her voice slightly slurred. She raised her hands. "I would never say that!"

The others laughed. "I'm almost certain you did," said Gemma.

The eight of them were huddled in a circle, sitting cross legged, the occasional knee touching another. They had hidden themselves away in the Room of Requirement. The room looked like a smaller version of the Gryffindor common room; red tapestries hanging from the walls, two cozy chairs and a couch, the floor lined with a comfortable rug and a fire blazing behind Felicity's back.

"I still can't believe you'd rather shag the giant squid over me!" said Sirius; more than a hint of outrage in his voice.

"Well of course I'd rather shag neither of those options," Felicity said, which made Lily and Marlene burst out into uncontrollable laughter. "But, I'd rather take my chances with the giant squid."

Remus and Peter couldn't hold back their laughter anymore and burst into fits. James and Gemma looked on the verge, but Sirius looked simply outraged.

"How could you even say that?" He whined. "You wound me so."

"You think you're a lot more attractive that you actually are, so someone has to bring your ego down a notch or two," Felicity said, staring at Sirius. She casually flicked a piece of his hair that had fallen into his face. His grey eyes flashed at her words but a smirk appeared.

James was laughing and holding back tears. "Felicity is not holding back tonight! Watch yourself, Pads!"

"I thought you fancied me!" He whined, his smile showing through, though he tried to hide it. His pouting made Gemma and Remus snicker.

"Oh, darling," Felicity said, bring her hand and tapping it to Sirius' face. "You said you fancied me, I never said that I fancied you." The grin on her face showed him that she was joking so he laughed.

"Why is it so hard," James said, "for people to just admit they fancy each other?" He was suddenly serious, all the laughing and jokes aside.

Gemma laughed. "James, it's a lot more complex than that."

James looked thoughtful. "But isn't it better to just get it out, let the person know, then keep it to yourself and not know if the other person fancies you back or not?" James' eyes flickered to Lily, who was looking at anything but him.

"No, James." Gemma said. "Girls don't just blurt their feelings out, haven't you noticed? We sit and wait, collecting information until we are absolutely sure that the other person fancies us back. I've never had to ask a guy if he fancied me. It's all happened naturally and each time was as beautiful as the last."

Felicity, who was sitting next to Gemma, shoved her roughly so she toppled sideways. There was a giant "oomph" noise as she fell and the others burst into laugher at Felicity's antics, which were quite different in her drunken state. "Piss off," she said, snickering at Gemma. "I know for a fact that you blurted to Thomas Johnson back in fourth year that you fancied him and wanted his babies."

There were multiple roars of laughter as Gemma sputtered, a blush rising to her cheeks, trying to sit on her pillow cross-legged again. "It was for a dare! Those gits made me do it!" She pointed at Sirius and James, who high-fived each other.

"Ah," said Remus, looking at Gemma. "No one makes us do anything, we do what we want of our own accord. You wouldn't have done it if you didn't at least fancy him a little."

Gemma shot Remus a glare while Felicity laughed, basking in the glory of outing Gemma.

"Alright, alright!" James said, with a laugh before Gemma and Remus got into a heated debate. "Lets toast this git, and move onto better things!" He elbowed Sirius, who was whispering frantically to Felicity, who was laughing at his antics. "To Sirius!" James bellowed, raising the bottle of fire whiskey. Each in turn, saluted Sirius and took a swig from the bottle, and although Felicity burst into giggles before saluting Sirius, the bottle ended in Sirius' hands.

He raised it as well. "I salute you all, who make birthdays slightly less terrible and boring." They all shared a laugh and a cheer as Sirius drank. He put down the bottle and pulled Felicity towards him. "Birthday kiss for the birthday boy?" She let out a scoff and kissed him on his cheek, with a triumphant smile.

"Pads, if you'll tear yourself from Felicity for a couple moments…" James said, his voice rising with every word. Sirius was still trying to get Felicity to kiss him while she elbowed him in the ribs, laughing as he whispered in her ear. "OI! Yes, Sirius, I'm speaking to you, CONTROL YOURSELF!" Sirius glared at James, who handed him a parcel.

Inside were a new jumper and some baking from Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and a new broom kit from James. Remus handed over a book about Quidditch History's Best Beaters, which Sirius seemed surprisingly pleased with. Peter had gotten him some of his favourite sweets from Honeydukes.

"Oh, Gemma, you have the parcel don't you?" Felicity said sounding concerned that they had left it behind. But, Gemma dutifully pulled a parcel from behind her and passed it to Sirius, who was more than intrigued. "I couldn't think of what to get you so Gemma and I went together."

Inside the small parcel was a new pair of leather Quidditch gloves. They fit perfectly and Gemma confessed she had nicked his other ones to replace them the week before. "That's why I couldn't find my gloves at practice!" laughed Sirius. "Thank you, everyone. This is more than I bargained for."

The group sat and laughed, drinking away their woes until it was well past curfew. Trying to be quiet, they drunkenly snuck back to the Gryffindor common room without being spotted, as a gigglinh Lily and Remus were lookout.

By Monday morning, the rumours about Felicity had started.

She woke in her usual fashion, getting dressed and heading to the Great Hall with the girls; Felicity loved getting the first pick of the food. It always seemed to be fresher first thing.

Felicity didn't notice that people were whispering behind her back until one of Gemma's friends, Amy, came over during breakfast. She was a Ravenclaw Quidditch player, with her beautiful brown hair pulled into a high ponytail.

"I just wanted to warn you," she said, keeping her voice low. "There was a rumour started about you, Felicity."

She nearly spit out her pumpkin juice all over Gemma. "Me?" Amy nodded at her words. "But who would want to start a rumour about me?"

Amy seemed to look uncomfortable. "The rumour is about you and Sirius…"

"You're practically dating Sirius," Gemma whispered. "Aren't you?"

Felicity was still struck that people wanted to make things up about her. Who in their right mind would do that? And what of Sirius? They hadn't spoken about anything concrete; she hadn't even told him she fancied him yet.

"What are people saying?" Marlene said quickly. "We should know so that we can refute it, if needed." Lily nodded in agreement, slowly moving closer as to hear the whispers.

"Well…they're saying that you and Sirius…"

"Yes?" said Felicity impatiently. She hated that this was being drawn out.

"They're saying you two have been shagging since the summer and that you're pregnant. That when you went out with Bertram on the weekend, you tried to get him to shag you too."

"They're basically calling her a slag!" Gemma practically shouted before being shushed and her voice lowering. "This is crazy!"

"It's got to be Bertram who started the rumour," Felicity put her head in her hands. What was she going to do?"

"Why d'you think that?" asked Amy.

"I tried to let him down easy on Saturday – I mean our date went absolutely horrid. I can't think of another person who would want to make my life miserable. Maybe I should try to talk to him…"

"No, absolutely not," Marlene said. "If anything, that could make it worse."

Gemma had instructed Amy to get the word out that this wasn't true, but still, people were still whispering behind Felicity's back; and it certainly didn't help that she was always around Sirius. Not but a couple moments later, Bertram walked by with Isabella, who shot the group withering glares.

Eventually Sirius found out and he seemed quite calm about it. "People are going to talk, Fea. You can't let them get into your head. We know what we've done and what we haven't, so it's no one else's business but ours."

"I think Bertram started the rumour," she said, deep in thought. At the mention of Bertram, Sirius got angry.

"Aubrey better keep his thoughts to himself from now on," growled Sirius, making Felicity laugh.

"Now Sirius, aren't you going to take your own advice?" But he merely shrugged at her and stole a gentle kiss that made her insides turn to butter, before they walked into the Potions classroom.

By that evening, most of Hogwarts were battling between the rumour that Felicity had been shagging Sirius for two months and that she was pregnant, compared to the 'truth' rumour, which was in fact that Bertram was upset and had made it all up.

He was denying having anything to do with any rumour and when it was time for dinner, no one could find him or his sister. The rest of the school took this as a sign that he was lying and by the next morning, when he arrived for breakfast, telling a tale of how he was hexed unknowingly (Felicity was sure this was Sirius' doing, though he denied any wrongdoing) and spent the night in the hospital wing with Isabella because his head had grown abnormally large, no one believed him.

The next couple of weeks became colder as November came and gave way to December. The ground started to freeze overnight and the threat of snow was coming any day now.

Most, if not all the school was saddened about not being able to go to Hogsmeade before the holidays. But with supposed Death Eaters having been at the Three Broomsticks a couple weeks before, Dumbledore had ordered that no students were to go until the Ministry deemed it safe again. Felicity heard rumours that there were Aurors patrolling the streets for any signs of odd behaviour; but that didn't make her feel any better.

Felicity longed to see the snow flying outside her window, as much as the others didn't. Christmas seemed just around the corner to her and that meant she'd be able to go home and see her family again.

Christmas had always been one of her favourite times of the year, for her mother would bake and cook until they couldn't eat anymore. The food was always divine and the baking always amazing.

She more than missed her mother, father, and sisters. Felicity faintly wondered about her youngest sister Melody; how big she would have gotten and what she could possibly do to make this Christmas, her first one, simply special. She threw a couple of ideas around in her head but nothing stuck out as special for her.

Felicity was tossing an idea back and forth in her mind one day, strolling back from her shift at the Hospital Wing. She walked through the portrait hole, wondering if everyone had already gone down to dinner. As the empty common room loomed before her, she quickly deposited her bags in the sixth year girl's dormitory before heading out again, the thought of a nice warm dinner making her strides longer.

She was turning the corner towards the Great Hall when she ran into someone and grabbed their arms to steady herself. The person staring back at her looked shocked for a moment before their features turned neutral. The person staring back at her looked like Sirius, dark black hair and slightly grey eyes – except she was sure Sirius' eyes looked different…

"Sirius, have you changed something?" Felicity once again was trying to figure out why this boy looked so much like Sirius yet it wasn't until the boy scowled and pushed her away slightly, so she noticed his robes were green instead of red.

"Felicity!" called Sirius from the bottom of the stairs, where he stood, uncertain. Once glance at the other boy and Sirius was right next to Felicity, his arm around her waist.

"Ah, brother," the boy said, his voice oddly formal, his face showing a tiny smirk. "I don't believe you've introduced us. She believed I was you."

Sirius seemed oddly guarded, his arm pulling Felicity closer. "Felicity," said Sirius. "This is my brother Regulus Black."

Felicity glanced back at the boy, Regulus and now understood why they looked so similar. Now that she could fully see him, she knew that his stature was different than Sirius' and he was a couple inches shorter. She was so shocked – she knew that Sirius had mentioned a brother at one point or another in the past two months but she had figured he was older and had left Hogwarts already; Sirius didn't speak much about his family.

Doing the only thing she could think of, she stepped out from Sirius' grasp on her waist and held out her hand.

"Hi, Regulus, it's a pleasure to meet you."

The two boys stood there shocked, before Regulus warily stuck out his hand to shake Felicity's. He quickly took it back, as to avoid prolonged contact with her. Sirius seemed to think the same thing as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them before Sirius spoke. "How're the rents?"

Felicity noticed Regulus' mouth twitch, showing the hint of a smile. "Fathers calmed down a bit. Mother blasted your face off the tapestry."

Sirius snickered. "Felicity, I'll meet you in the hall. I need to have a private word with my brother."

"It was nice meeting you, Regulus," Felicity said quickly, taking that as her exit and fading away. She knew she'd have to ask Sirius about his brother eventually and wondered just how much he would tell her.

When she walked into the Great Hall, there was only one person sitting in their usual spot, a sulky looking James Potter. Knowing she had a short amount of time before Sirius came back; she took a seat right beside James and started to pile things on her plate.

James did a double take and seemed slightly taken aback. "You're not Gemma."

"So, what year is Regulus in?" Felicity said, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"Fifth," said James through a mouth full of food, clearly not paying any attention.

Felicity sat on that information, chewing her food carefully. "How come Sirius never talks about him?"

"Their family doesn't get on much," James said thoughtfully. "That's why he lives with me now. He's known to them as the blood traitor."

Felicity felt a chill run up her spine. "Blood traitor?"

James sighed. "All Sirius' family has been in Slytherin, cousins, aunts and uncles; and now he's a Gryffindor. He doesn't think their ideology is right, he's against You Know Who and his so called Death Eaters."

"His family are Death Eaters?" her voice couldn't have been more than a whisper; this wasn't something that she wanted people overhearing.

James shook his head. "His parents aren't; too old. Though they support them any way they can. Sirius thinks that Reg will be next. He's been trying to talk him into living at my place too, but Reg has always been the good child in their parent's eyes. Does what he's told when it's asked of him and doesn't ask too many questions about it. I suppose he wants to please them, whereas Sirius just rebelled any chance he got. But he's scared Reg is getting himself into something that could end with him dead."

Felicity sat there, stunned. She hadn't known too much about Sirius' home life, because he never talked about it. Sure he seemed to know all about her, but she knew nothing of his history. When Sirius strutted in a few moments later and sat next to her, she could feel the anger radiating off him. And although she didn't say anything, she put her hand on his arm and gave it a quick squeeze before resuming her dinner. James seemed to notice Sirius was in a bad mood as well for he started talking Quidditch plays.

Felicity sat, half listening to their conversation, but her mind was somewhere else. She knew that she'd have to ask Sirius sooner or later about Regulus and his family, but would it ever be a good time? And how would he react?

* * *

 **Thanks to Smurficon who was the only one to review last chapter. You words were kind and appreciated! This one is for you. xoxox**


	14. Chapter 13

It was quarter to 6 in the evening on Christmas day and all 5 Barnett girls were sitting in the triplet's room. Penny was holding Melody in her lap, bouncing her on her knees while the little girl giggled and screamed happily. Gemma was pulling Penny's long blonde hair into a ponytail.

"Won't you braid it Gem? Oh, please, please, please!" Penelope said, trying to turn her head to look at Gemma with pleading eyes. Gemma only laughed and brushed her sister's hair again before starting to French braid it quickly.

Mrs. Barnett poked her head into the room as Gemma was finishing up Penelope's braid. "I'm in need of assistance!" she said with a smile. "Can one of you go downstairs and help your father watch over the food while I change for dinner?"

At that moment there was a loud crashing from downstairs and Mr. Barnett yelled through the house. "I need assistance! The pots have taken me hostage!"

Mrs. Barnett sighed at his antics but a smirk appeared on her face while Penelope giggled and Melody screamed back at her father. "Come young one," Mrs. Barnett said, reaching her hands out to take hold of Melody, who was in between screaming and laughing. "Let's try and get you to have a nap while we dine."

Gemma and Penelope walked out of the room, giggling to themselves as they went to help their father in the kitchen. Vivian was still working madly on Felicity's hair. "You're going to wear your hair down if it's the last thing I do!" Vivian said hotly as she straightened Felicity's hair. Her hair, which was usually wavy and frizzy when down looked straight and sleek in the mirror she held. "You always wear it in a bun or a pony and it'll be nice to see you look all proper for once."

"You don't think I usually look proper?" Felicity said with a frown.

"That's not what I meant," Vivian said curtly. "I just meant you wear your hair up a lot, so having it down would be nice for a change."

Felicity didn't say anything but mumbled under her breathe about what she really thought about being proper.

When the doorbell rang, both girls froze.

"Did you invite anyone?" Felicity asked Vivian, trying to wrack her brain to find out who it could be.

"No, but I bet it was mama," Vivian said, finishing Felicity's hair with a flourish. "You know how she is. 'The more the merrier'. I swear if there are any more people in this house, our neighbours will put a sign up outside saying 'local zoo'." Felicity laughed at Vivian's joke when their mother popped her head in again, this time wearing a pretty dark green dress.

"Okay girls, the guests are here! Make sure you head down soon."

"Yes, Mama," both girls said, smiling. "I'm just finishing up, we should be down in a few minutes," Vivian said, which earned a nod from their mother who vanished down the stairs.

"Shhh," Felicity said. "If we listen hard enough we might be able to hear who it is!"

Both girls became very quiet trying to hear something, but all they could hear was muffled voices.

"Alas, your plan didn't work," Vivian said, pushing Felicity off the bed. The girl landed with a thud on the floor.

"Viv, you mean old hag," Felicity said from her spot on the floor, trying to be angry but failing.

"Put your sweater on so we can go downstairs already," Vivian said, pulling on her own Christmas sweater. It was a pretty green with decorated trees all over it that brought out the slight green in her hazel eyes.

Each year, Mr. & Mrs. Barnett gave the girls a new Christmas sweater. Some years they were knitted by Mrs. Barnett but this year they had all been bought for she had been too busy with Melody to do anything else.

Gemma's sweater was red and patterned with sparkly gifts. Penelope's had a large portrait of Santa Claus, who the muggles thought brought Christmas presents. His nose was a pom pom that Melody loved to squeeze. Melody's sweater was a dark blue and had many stars on it, all bright gold, as if she was to be put on top of the massive pine tree that sat in their living room. Felicity's sweater was also a dark blue, but was adorned with snowflakes.

"Who d'you think it'll be?" Vivian asked as they walked down the hallway towards the stairs.

"Probably the neighbours, here to say that we're an official zoo," Felicity said, pushing her sister in fun.

"Oh, I can hear the gossip already!" Vivian laughed, linking her arm through Fea's.

It wasn't until the girls reached the landing and headed into the living room that Felicity's blood ran cold and her heart did a flip. For sitting on the chair near the fire, the one that she usually sat at; was none other than Sirius Black.

He was dressed smartly in muggle clothes, in a pair of dark washed jeans and a plain black long sleeved shirt.

The couch was occupied by Mr. Barnett and Mr. Potter, who were having a conversation about muggle bicycles. James was sat on the other couch chatting with Gemma, and poor Penelope was stuck setting the table while Mrs. Barnett and Mrs. Potter brought the food out.

Felicity knew that their two families had grown closer as their children grew older, but she was astonished that the Potters and Sirius were sitting in their living room.

"Did something happen between you and Sirius?" Vivian whispered into Felicity's ear. "He seems to be staring at you like he hasn't seen you in 50 years."

Felicity was truly panicking now. She hadn't told her family about her, 'complicated', relationship with Sirius. They weren't going steady but they certainly weren't just friends. How could she have told her mother and father that, yeah, on occasion she had snogging nights with Sirius in empty classrooms and broom cupboards? She hadn't even told Vivian, and Gemma had enough sense not to say anything as of yet.

But as Sirius stood and walked towards her, she could feel the blush coming to her cheeks and her hands getting clammy.

"What's going on?" Vivian whispered, noticing Felicity's odd expression.

Felicity was scrounging around for a plan, anything, to help her in this situation as Sirius strode towards her. He held out his arms and embraced her before pulling away and planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I'm enjoying your hair," Sirius said, taking a couple strands in between his fingers. "It feels very soft. You look radiant," he mused, kissing her on the other cheek.

By this time everyone in the room was staring at them. Mr. Potter stood and walked towards them. "Ah, Felicity, pleasure to see you again!" He stood her hand. "Sirius has been raving about you since he got back!"

"All he talks about really," James said, which earned him a smack from Gemma.

"Felicity and Sirius?" Mrs. Barnett said from the dining room. "Is that so? Well, it was bound to happen! They all spend so much time together!" She turned to Mrs. Potter with a smile. "I always thought I'd be Gemma. Didn't I say that Darwin?"

But Mr. Barnett was now furiously shaking hands with Sirius. "Can't believe you did it! Congratulations!" The smile that was on his face was welcoming and not at all angry. "I always thought she'd be the one with a hundred cats…" Mr. Barnett mumbled the last part, smiling anyway.

"Papa!" Vivian said, astonished, while Felicity just stood there blushing madly. Sirius was laughing. "How could you talk so poorly of your own daughters? Felicity is going to be an exceptional Healer. I wouldn't be surprised if she puts Sirius in his place, and often!" The look she gave Felicity made her feel badly for not mentioning her and Sirius to Vivian. Felicity knew she'd have to tell her all the details later.

Overall, everyone seemed to be taking it well. And she was thankful for that; she wasn't sure what she would have done if everyone had been angry with her. She tried to chance a glance at Sirius, wondering if he was hurt that she hadn't told her family yet, but he seemed to be all smiles.

"Now you're getting somewhere!" James said, laughing. "I haven't seen Sirius so puppy-eyed in his whole life! Does basically anything that Felicity says."

"Well, there's only one way to test that theory!" Gemma said, while everyone watched. "Go on!"

"You don't do exactly as I say," Felicity said to Sirius. "If you did, you'd have fewer detentions!"

That sent everyone into howling laughter. "You've picked a good one Sirius," Mrs. Potter said from the dining room. "This one's smart!"

Sirius smiled and hooked his arm around Felicity's waist.

"Come and eat everyone, while it's still hot!" Mrs. Barnett said, ushering everyone into the dining room.

Felicity made a point to sit across from Sirius, she didn't want him by her side whispering things in her ear, but would rather have watched him interact with her family. Sure he had done this before, but now that they were well, _something_ , it felt completely different.

The 10 of them sat at the table and enjoying a mild conversation. Felicity hadn't been listening; she had been looking at Sirius. It wasn't until Gemma had elbowed her that she noticed her mother had been speaking to her.

"Mellie's awake," her mother had said again and as Felicity came back down from her own mind into the present, she could faintly hear Melody crying. "Would you fetch her, Fea?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Felicity said, quickly going upstairs to fetch the crying baby, who immediately stopped as soon as Felicity picked her up. "Wicked thing, aren't you? Crying until someone picks you up, can't even have a proper meal without you, can we?" But Melody only gurgled and laughed. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

When Felicity returned, her mother was mid conversation. "Yes, well, sometimes I'm not sure what I would do without Felicity when she is here. She just has this way with Melody, they share some kind of connection, I'm sure!"

"Mama, you had triplets and another child after that, I'm sure you can fair perfectly well without Fea!" Gemma said, making everyone laugh.

Mrs. Barnett took a sip of her wine. "Yes, well, it certainly helps that you aren't running around like a maniac anymore! Oh the stories I could tell you about Gemma!"

James suddenly seemed quite interested. He'd been around more often than any other friends of Felicity or Gemma's and yet he'd never heard any embarrassing stories. "Please, do go on."

"Mama," Gemma said suddenly serious. "If you know what's good, you won't say anything!"

Felicity bounced Melody on her lap while Penelope threw peas at her, sniggering every time she hit Melody on the forehead. Everyone at the table was quiet, waiting for Mrs. Barnett to speak.

"When Gemma was little, she'd run around like a mad child, around the house, around the yard; anywhere! And all these things would fall, nick knacks off shelves and picture frames off walls, even when we went to the store, food would fall to the ground." Felicity and Vivian were smirking at Gemma's discomfort as Mrs. Barnett kept talking. "I didn't know at the time but Gemma was doing small bits of magic; she'd see something she would want and it would float down to her! It wasn't until I caught her in the kitchen that I thought I was truly mad. She had been floating the cookie jar down from the top of the fridge. I nearly had a heart attack!"

Mrs. Potter laughed. "I suppose to muggles, small bits of magic could be quite frightening."

"When James was small," Mr. Potter said and James started to squirm in his seat. "He'd wake up at the crack of dawn and sneak down to the shed. Stole this hat thing, from a muggle down the street; the ones that protect them when they ride the bicycles!"

"A bike helmet," Mr. Barnett supplied, seeming proud.

"Yes! That's the one," Mr. Potter said excitedly. "He'd sneak down and nick my broom from the shed and fly around in the dark. I remember waking up one morning with him looming over my bed because he'd fallen and broken his arm!"

"Awe, poor James!" Gemma said, trying to hide her laughter. "Weren't always such a good flier, were you?" Sirius let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh," Mrs. Potter said, "I remember when Sirius first visited us during the summer, I think it was second or third year. I was reading a novel, a steamy one about a witch and a wizard." The girls all laughed. "And these books, they sometimes have pictures in them, nothing too bad; but they move. And I remember Sirius picked it up and thought he'd be funny, reading it to James." Everyone was laughing now, at the expense of Sirius. "Well, you can imagine how well that turned out! Got a couple sentences in when he turned the page and noticed the picture! They both took off outside like screaming banshees!"

Felicity was laughing so hard that Melody was shaking in her arms. The little girl screamed and squealed like the rest of them, not knowing what was going on. Penelope was laughing along, although she didn't understand and her cheeks turned a slight pink.

"Well at least we know Pads isn't like that anymore eh?" James said with a laugh but the table was quiet as they all looked between Felicity and Sirius.

"Oh no, we haven't-" Felicity started to say, her cheeks flaming up.

"I think dessert would be a good choice now!" Mrs. Barnett said, standing suddenly. "Take your glasses into the living room and I'll grab the sweets."

"Nice one, James," Gemma mumbled, smacking him upside the head as she stood and grabbed her glass. Mr. Potter chuckled while Mr. Barnett looked a little pale. "Might as well have said that Sirius likes to shag anyone with a nice arse." James mumbled a quiet apology that went on deaf ears.

When Felicity looked at Sirius he seemed quite embarrassed as well. Whether it was the comment or because it was actually true, she wasn't sure. Deep down, she hoped that she would be different. She didn't want to get to know Sirius with only getting in his pants as the final goal. She wasn't exactly sure what she did want from this, if she was being honest.

"Oh, I think this dinner is going quite swell, don't you?" Vivian said with a laugh as she took a seat on the couch. She looked positively happy about the whole ordeal; and especially that everyone got picked on but her.

"Shut up, Viv," Felicity said as she sat beside her, Melody on her lap and Sirius squishing in on her other side. Gemma and James both sat beside Vivian so that the five of them were squished together on the couch.

"At this rate my arse is going to fall asleep, we're so cramped," said Gemma as she tried to get comfortable.

"Are you sure that's not James pinching it?" Sirius retorted, making Vivian spit out the drink she had been sipping. Felicity and Sirius howled with laughter while Mrs. Bennett made a face about the liquid that was now on her clean carpet.

"Here, allow me Alice," Mrs. Potter said as she pulled her wand out and gave it a swish. The liquid vanished in thin air and Mrs. Barnett gave a sigh, saying, "Oh, how I'd love to do magic."

Mr. Barnett chuckled. "How much would you charge to come over and do our cleaning once a week?"

After the drinks had been refilled and the sweets demolished (Mrs. Barnett was quite surprised that there was not a crumb left after James and Sirius were through), the doorbell rang. It was one of Penelope's friends that lived down the street, who had come to see if she'd like to play in the ever growing amount of snow that was on the ground.

After Penelope had been dressed and the two girls had gone to the backyard to play, Mrs. Barnett shooed the 5 others plus Melody upstairs so the grownups could chat.

"What do you think they are talking about?" Vivian said in a hushed voice as they filed down the hallway and into the triplets room.

"I have a few guesses," James said, giving Sirius a sideways glance.

Felicity felt a sense of unease in the room as she held Melody to her hip. "What's going on? What do you know that we don't?"

James lounged on Gemma's bed before he spoke; Sirius was too busy glancing around the room to be engaged in conversation. "I heard my mum and dad talking today. It was about Death Eaters."

The room went silent. Even Vivian, who was a muggle, knew about the Death Eaters from her sisters long conversations about them and the letter that Felicity had sent home about her date in Hogsmeade.

"What were they saying?" asked Gemma, egging James to go on.

"Well dad works at the Ministry and knows quite a few people. He was saying how a lot of them don't believe You Know Who and his followers are right, but that they keep bugging them to come and join their side. He said that one man – Wilder, was threatened. They told him that they'd start coming after families if people didn't join."

"Someone can't bully people into joining a cult," Vivian said, completely outraged. "That's insane! What could he possibly do if people say no?"

Felicity suddenly felt very sad, for as much information as Vivian knew, she didn't understand the full extent of what was happening.

"Viv," Gemma said, her voice trying to be calm, she moved from her spot against the wall to where Vivian was sitting on her own bed. "He's already started going after families."

"How? Like holding them hostage or demanding ransom so people will join?" At this moment, Felicity couldn't help but think that Vivian looked so young and so unknowing. She almost asked that they change the subject so Vivian could go on not knowing, but it was Sirius that spoke next.

He was standing near Felicity's desk, looking at the trinkets that lay on it, small figurines of cats that Penelope had painted for her birthday last year. Gemma had thought they were hideous but Felicity had loved them. He was holding the book she was currently reading about the rise and fall of the dark arts, flipping through the pages absentmindedly. "They don't care about families, Vivian. They've already murdered people. There are kids at our school that had lost their families because they won't join You Know Who. There's bee countless muggles who have gone missing lately because they're taken and tortured for fun."

Vivian's face went pale. "So what d'you think your parents are saying to them?"

"It's probably just to warn them, Viv," said Gemma. "Just to be cautious."

"Don't worry, Viv," Felicity said as Melody started getting fussy, trying to pull at her sweater. "The Ministry will handle it and it will be over before you even knew it was happening."

The others nodded in agreement and Vivian met Felicity's eyes. They were uncertain and scared, but her shoulders relaxed. "Here Fea," Vivian said as Melody started to struggle more and began to cry. "I'll go get her a bottle and put her to bed, it's getting late for her." Felicity gave Melody to Vivian who walked out of the room. Once her footsteps faded away Gemma spoke.

"Okay no more telling Vivian or the family about what's really going on, yeah?" The air was silent before they all nodded. "No need to get her worked up, I don't want her to be scared to go outside."

"Or have her accidentally slip something to Penny," added Felicity.

Gemma put her finger to her nose before pointing it at Felicity. "Right you are!"

Sirius wandered over to Felicity, clutching something in his hand. He sat beside her on her own bed and said, "Fea, what is this?"

Taking the object from his hands, she opened it and a piano medley came out. "It's a music box, Sirius." Inside were small trinkets from her childhood; a dying rose that she had picked from the cottage when she was 7, a small vial of sand from their trip to Spain when she was 6, a crumbled photo of her in front of Big Ben and a ring that her grandmother had given her before she had died. "When you open it, the music plays and when you close it, it stops."

"I didn't know you still had that," Gemma said from her spot, eyeing it closely. "Mine's around here somewhere."

"Why do you keep this stuff in it?" Sirius asked, his eyes shining with curiosity.

"Well, anything that's of importance to me I put in there," explained Felicity with a shrug. "Everything that's in there means something to me; has a memory attached to it."

"How come there's nothing of me in here?" he asked, making Felicity laugh.

"Because you haven't done anything to deserve a spot in there," she said while James sniggered.

"I think I'm the most deserving!" Sirius said, quite taken aback.

Gemma rolled her eyes. "You can't put a snog in there, Sirius."

"Oi, Pads," said James, his eyes lighting up. "Put a lock of your hair in there!"

Gemma laughed. "That's so medieval!" But Sirius was already pulling out a couple of his hairs.

"No, no, no!" Felicity said, closing the music box and pulling it away from him. "I get to choose what goes in there! And having your hair in there does not mean it's special."

"But it's from me," he whined while she walked across the room and placed the music box back.

"Doesn't matter," said Gemma with a smirk. "Felicity does what Felicity wants."

"Don't worry mate," James said from his spot on Gemma's bed. "We'll figure out a way to get something for her to remember you by in that box!"

Vivian came back into the room, a bottle of wine clutched in her hand. "What did I miss?"

Gemma squealed and jumped up to close the door. "Are they still talking away?"

Vivian nodded and quickly uncorked the wine before taking a swig and passing it to Gemma who did the same. "These girls are hard core," said James, glancing at Sirius with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Why d'you think I picked a bird like Fea," replied Sirius, who snagged his arm around her waist, almost causing her to drop the bottle that Gemma had just handed her. She smirked at him before bringing the bottle to her lips and taking a swig. She made a face but didn't spit it out. "This is horrid, Viv. It's so dry I'm nearly choking."

"Alright, James, Sirius, it's time to go!" yelled Mrs. Potter from downstairs which caused the boys to moan.

"But the party was just getting started," mumbled James before yelling, "Coming!"

"Alas my fair lady," Sirius said, plucking the bottle of wine from Felicity's hands and passing it to Gemma who took another swig before hiding it in the closet for later. "I must take my leave. Grant me with a kiss so I won't wither away without your presence until we meet again."

Gemma sniggered. "We'll wait in the hall, make it quick!" She ushered James and Vivian out who were making kissing faces at Felicity and Sirius.

When the door closed, Sirius' lips were on hers and it felt as if the whole world melted away. His hands were on either side of her face, holding her to him as their lips moved against each other. One of her hands was entwined in his hair while the other was resting on his chest and she could feel his heartbeat quickening through her fingertips. When he bit her lip, she felt a fire race through her veins and a moan escaped.

Sirius broke away with a smirk on his face, pulling her against him in an embrace while his mouth found her ear. "I've missed kissing you."

"Is that the only thing you missed of me?"

"I've missed plenty about you," Sirius said, pulling apart and gazing at Felicity's face. "Before I forget," he rummaged through his pockets quickly before pulling out a small wrapped parcel. "Happy Christmas."

"We weren't supposed to get each other anything!"

"I know, but I couldn't resist; I saw it and immediately thought of you. Open it when I leave, that way if you don't like it you have time before lying and saying you love it."

Felicity nodded, laughing slightly as she quickly shoved it underneath her pillow. The two walked out the door, quickly heading to the stairs with the others as they went down.

"Ah, there you are," Mrs. Barnett said, standing by the door, handing cloaks to Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were watching James and Sirius carefully.

"We were about to come up looking for you," said Mrs. Potter, her gaze flicking between the two boys.

"No need," James said smoothly. "We were just finishing up our conversation about that Potions essay we have due the week we get back."

"It was dreadfully boring," Vivian commented. "And I thought Muggle School was the worst."

The adults chuckled, buying the white lies from their children, although Mrs. Potter still looked t James and Sirius suspiciously.

"The Potters have graciously invited us to their house for New Years," Mr. Barnett said, trying to act serious in delivering the news, but a smile escaped.

"Yes!" James said, turning around to high five Gemma. "Remus said he'd come as well!"

"D'you mean all of us or just Gemma and Felicity?" Vivian asked, unsure of whether she counted as someone who was invited.

"We'll hire a sitter for the night," Mrs. Barnett said. "And the five of us will go for the evening."

Vivian looked relieved and excited. "I don't think I've met Remus before!"

"Oh, you'll like him," Gemma said, eyeing Vivian. "He's just like you, smart and anti-social."

James and Sirius laughed while Vivian punched Gemma. "Oh, you're such a hag!"

"Alright, alright," Mrs. Barnett said, handing James and Sirius their cloaks, which they put on quickly. "That's enough out of you three." Felicity threw her hands in the air and gave an expression of distaste at being scolded for doing nothing. Her mother pretended not to see.

The Potter's and Sirius thanked the Barnett's for having them over and how great the food was and Sirius gave Felicity one last kiss before they all filed out the door. She smirked at his retreating back and watched out the living room window until all she could see was the blowing snow.

After helping tidy up, the girls retreated to their room, saying goodnight to their parents and Penelope, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Before she did anything else, Felicity took the parcel out from under her pillow and held it in her hands, turning it over and over, wondering what it could be.

"Did Sirius give you that?" Vivian asked, removing her sweater and throwing it in the hamper.

"Yeah," said Felicity, taking a seat on her bed and crossed her legs. "We agreed not to get each other anything but he gave me this just before he left."

"Are you going to open it?" Gemma asked curiosity in her voice.

"I think so," Felicity said, quickly standing and rushing into the bathroom. She closed and locked the door but could still hear Vivian and Gemma groaning about not being able to see what her gift was.

Felicity turned the parcel over in her hands a couple times, lightly changing hands as she tried to weigh it and see what it could be. She dared to shake it lightly, and could hear the faint movement of something. Curiosity getting the better of her, she quickly unwrapped the brown paper to reveal a small box. Inside was a pair of pretty earrings with crystals embedded on them. She figured Sirius would never have bought her diamonds after only a couple months of getting to know each other, but this gift was thoughtful and she loved them.

Placing them carefully in her ears, Felicity pulled her hair back so she'd be able to see them better and instantly loved them. She vowed she'd wear them for New Years and then Sirius in a letter that she'd write tonight.

There was a pounding on the door but Felicity ignored it, slowly turning her head from left to right so she could admire the gift she'd just received from the boy she fancied.

* * *

Sirius' heart was a flutter.

He'd never been this nervous before. Not before taking his O.W.L's and not even before a Quidditch game. He was always worried about going home for the summers, back to his parent's place, but he'd never been nervous.

And yet he was nervous now. He'd been over to the Barnett's before, plenty of times, but somehow this time was different. Felicity's parents would know him as the boy who was dating their daughter Felicity and not as one of Gemma's friends. At the thought, his heart did a lurch.

He hadn't seen Felicity in almost a week and already he was going stir crazy. They'd said goodbye at the train station, but he'd forgotten to give her a kiss. When he wrote her that night to say he was sorry, she'd replied saying that she hadn't even noticed until he had said something. He'd felt a little pang of worry, but she'd sent him some sweets and baking, so he figured she must still fancy him a little.

After shrugging on a black shirt, he regarded himself in the mirror. His hair was growing at an alarmingly fast rate and Mrs. Potter had begged him to let her cut it a little for the holidays. It was barely a noticeable change but Mrs. Potter had said that he'd looked very handsome after she'd finished. James had snickered behind his hand and pretended to cough.

He wanted to look nice, presentable, but still him.

Looking away from the mirror, he paced his room. The things he felt for Felicity, they went beyond what he'd felt before. When he had watched her walk away from him at the station, he'd felt sad. In his past when the holidays had come around, he'd felt relieved because he hadn't had to see the girl for two weeks.

Pulling on socks and his favourite shoes, he left his room, knocking on James' door as he passed down the hallway towards the staircase.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming!" Came the reply from James' room, along with a bang and a couple of choice words.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter sat in the kitchen, both reading different sections of the Daily Prophet. Sirius poured himself a glass of water and sat down, sipping thoughtfully.

"So we get to spend time with the famous Felicity," Mrs. Potter said, putting her paper down to gaze at Sirius.

He willed himself not to blush and gave Mrs. Potter a smirk. "Yes, I'm aware."

"I'm sure she's as pretty as you've descried her," said Mr. Potter from behind his paper, turning down an edge so he could wink at Sirius.

"I'm sure she's as _intelligent_ as you've made her out to be," replied Mrs. Potter, giving Sirius a grand smile. "Finally, a girl you can bring over here!"

"If only he'd actually shut up about her! Gemma comes round here all the time," James said as he walked into the kitchen and took a seat across from Sirius. "Felicity looks just like her; you'll probably mix the two up."

Mrs. Potter frowned. "You have little faith in us, James. We're not as old and senile as we look!"

"It's nearing six, let's go and have conversations with _real_ adults, darling." Mr. Potter stood and offered his wife his hand, leading her to the front hallway and handing her a heavy, warm robe. One peek out the window and they could see it was still snowing.

"Do you have everything?" Mrs. Potter asked; her hand on the doorknob. Sirius thought for a moment, patting his pants pocket which held Felicity's present. His wand was stuffed into his robes, just in case.

The four emerged from the house and walked down the street, looking each way for any stray muggles that might have found themselves in the area. It was eerily quiet, with the snow flurrying around them as they made their way. At the end, near a very tall pine tree, James and Sirius took hold of Mr. and Mrs. Potter and the four of them apparated on the spot.

Sirius had always enjoyed apparating. He never minded the suffocating feeling that came along with it and he enjoyed the thought of going from one place to another with minimal effort. With a faint pop and a wobble, the four appeared at the end of the Bennett's street and began walking to their house.

With each step, Sirius became more and more nervous. He had met Darwin and Alice before, but the thought of meeting them under these circumstances was nerve-wracking.

Mrs. Potter rapped quickly on the door, bringing Sirius back to the present.

Gemma answered the door with a surprised smile, beckoning them all inside. She took their robes and hung them in the hall closet before showing them into the living room.

Sirius had been to the Bennett's a lot over the last couple of summers, but the coziness never failed to surprise him. There was a fire going in the corner of the room and the chairs and couches had been moved to accommodate the large pine tree that was decorated and sitting in the other corner. There were a couple of gifts still sitting underneath but he knew that they must have opened the majority this morning. Their large black piano that was usually the focal point was now stuffed into another corner of the room behind one of the couches.

"Can I offer you anything to drink?" Gemma asked Mr. and Mrs. Potter. They both accepted a glass of wine, while Mr. Potter sat and Mrs. Potter rushed off to the kitchen after hearing a loud smash and some giggling.

"I didn't even know you lot were coming!" Gemma said, motioning for them to sit. Sirius took a spot by the fire, trying to calm his nerves. He faintly listened to James and Gemma's conversation but tuned them out, looking around for Felicity.

Mrs. Barnett came down the stairs in a green dress, making her way to Mr. Potter to shake his hand. She gave James and Sirius a quick hug before rushing off to the kitchen. "Felicity and Vivian are just upstairs finishing up, they should be down soon!"

Not but a couple minutes later, Mr. Barnett emerged from the kitchen and came to sit beside Mr. Potter. "Nasty thing, cooking. I can never seem to get anything right!"

"I usually leave it to Emily," Mr. Potter said. "Everything I try to make always ends up black!"

Sirius focused on the fire, which was making his left leg very warm. It crackled and danced while his heart was beating in his throat. Did he introduce himself to Mr. Barnett again? He was sure that he'd remember him, but this time would it be as….

Felicity's date? Her boyfriend? Sirius suddenly panicked, not knowing what to do or say. His mouth became very dry and it was hard to swallow.

When he looked up again Felicity was standing in the entrance to the living room, her arm hooked with Vivian's. He stared at her, unsure of how to move or what to say. She looked beautiful, her hair sleeked down and straight, pulled behind one of her ears. She was wearing a comfy Christmas sweater with plain black pants and slippers. At seeing him, her eyes widened and she stopped in her tracks. Vivian whispered something to her and Sirius finally came to his senses, standing and walking over to her.

He didn't know what to say so he held out his arms, as if to embrace her. He kissed her on the cheek, and he could feel her blush on his lips. "I'm enjoying your hair," Sirius said, taking a couple strands in between his fingers. It felt so soft that he didn't want to let it go. "It feels very soft. You look radiant," he mused, kissing her on the other cheek, saying the first things that came to his mind.

The next thing he knew, Mr. Potter was standing beside him. "Ah, Felicity, pleasure to see you again!" He said, shaking her hand. "Sirius has been raving about you since he got back!"

Sirius could feel the heat on his cheeks as Felicity shook Mr. Potter's hand.

"All he talks about really," James said, which earned him a smack from Gemma.

Sirius could barely think, let alone speak as he looked at Felicity. He could tell she was embarrassed by him being there and he faintly wondered why she hadn't told her family about them.

Suddenly Mr. Barnett was furiously shaking his hand and he had to hold back at laugh at the elder man's expression. "Can't believe you did it! Congratulations!" The smile that was on his face was welcoming and not at all angry. "I always thought she'd be the one with a hundred cats…" Mr. Barnett mumbled the last part, smiling anyway.

Sirius laughed at his obvious enthusiasm, chancing a glance at Felicity who was blushing. For the first time that day, Sirius' shoulders relaxed. He was brought out of his thoughts when James mentioned his name. "I haven't seen Sirius so puppy-eyed in his whole life! Does basically anything that Felicity says."

"Well, there's only one way to test that theory!" Gemma said, while everyone watched. "Go on!"

Felicity turned to Sirius, a smile on her face already. When she looked up at him, his heart seemed to stop. "You don't do exactly as I say, if you did, you'd have fewer detentions!"

That sent everyone into howling laughter. "You've picked a good one Sirius," Mrs. Potter said from the dining room. "This one's smart!"

Sirius suddenly felt immense pride.

Here was Felicity, in her own home, being witty and making a great impression to Mr. and Mrs. Potter, whom he loved more dearly than his own retched parents. This evening could only get better from here. Sirius took a chance and hooked his arm around Felicity's waist, pulling her closer. She casually put her hand on his arm and smiled up at him.

"Come and eat everyone, while it's still hot!" Mrs. Barnett said, ushering everyone into the dining room. Sirius had to break his contact with her and Felicity smirked as she went and sat on the opposite side of the table. He smiled right back at her, glad that he'd be able to stare at her all evening from across the table.

Famished, Sirius piled the food onto his plate, not noticing Felicity raise her eyebrow at him. Between eating and breathing, Sirius watched Felicity who was watching him. It was as if they were in their own little world. He didn't break eye contact until her mother started to speak to her and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he realised that she wasn't paying attention.

"Felicity, can you go and get Mellie?" Mrs. Barnett asked, but she continued to stare at Sirius. After a couple moments and Vivian nudging her, she finally heard and left the table with a blush on her cheeks.

Sirius laughed into his water as James nudged him. "She couldn't stop staring at you, mate."

"I know," Sirius replied, the biggest grin on his face.

When Felicity returned, her mother was mid conversation. "Yes, well, sometimes I'm not sure what I would do without Felicity when she is here. She just has this way with Melody, they share some kind of connection; I'm sure!"

"Mama, you had triplets and another child after that, I'm sure you can fair perfectly well without Fea!" Gemma said, making everyone laugh.

Mrs. Barnett took a sip of her wine. "Yes, well, it certainly helps that you aren't running around like a maniac anymore! Oh the stories I could tell you about Gemma!"

Sirius seemed to lose himself while Mrs. Barnett spoke about Gemma. He would have been more interested in hearing something about Felicity. It wasn't until Mrs. Potter mentioned his name that he started to pay more attention.

"-Sirius first visited us during the summer, I think it was second or third year. I was reading a novel, a steamy one about a witch and a wizard." The girls all laughed. "And these books, they sometimes have pictures in them, nothing too bad; but they move. And I remember Sirius picked it up and thought he'd be funny, reading it to James." Everyone was laughing now, at the expense of Sirius. He tried to be a good sport about it but was quite embarrassed. He watched Felicity, trying to read her expression and her thoughts about the story. "Well, you can imagine how well that turned out! Got a couple sentences in when he turned the page and noticed the picture! They both took off outside like screaming banshees!" Sirius couldn't help but feel happy; she was laughing so hard that Melody was shaking in her arms.

"Well at least we know Pads isn't like that anymore eh?" James said with a laugh but the table was quiet as they all looked between Felicity and Sirius.

Sirius felt his stomach drop out from under him. Of _course_ James had to go and open up his ruddy mouth and say something stupid like that.

Felicity stuttered out a response. "Oh no, we haven't-" Her whole face seemed to turn red and Sirius wanted to throttle James.

"I think dessert would be a good choice now!" Mrs. Barnett said, standing suddenly. "Take your glasses into the living room and I'll grab the sweets."

"Nice one, James," Gemma mumbled, smacking him upside the head as she stood and grabbed her glass. Mr. Potter chuckled while Mr. Barnett looked a little pale. "Might as well have said that Sirius likes to shag anyone with a nice arse." James mumbled a quiet apology that went on deaf ears and Sirius was thinking of ways that would be fun to end James' life.

They all sat in the living room, the 5 of the squishing onto one couch. Sirius was just glad that Felicity had sat next to him. He quickly scanned the room and took a whiff of her hair when no one was looking, she smelled _divine_.

"Oh, I think this dinner is going quite swell, don't you?" Vivian said with a laugh.

"Shut up, Viv," Felicity said.

"At this rate my arse is going to fall asleep, we're so cramped," said Gemma as she tried to get comfortable.

"Are you sure that's not James pinching it?" Sirius retorted, making Vivian spit out the drink she had been sipping. He howled with laughter at his own joke.

Sirius couldn't help himself and took one of every sweet that Mrs. Barnett put out. Each was as good as the next and he couldn't help himself from taking more.

"Why don't you lot go upstairs for a bit," Mrs. Barnett said. "Let the adults talk for a bit."

"The door is to stay open!" Mr. Barnett yelled as they all climbed the stairs.

Sirius had never been to the second level of the Barnett house so he was quite intruiged and curious. As they walked down the hallway the wall was littered with pictures, ones that didn't move mind you, and Sirius took the time to stop and gaze at each one. There were lots of the triplets when they were young, with Penelope and Melody showing up at different stages.

Sirius listened as the others chatted but didn't pay much attention. He was too curious as he stepped into the girls' bedroom. It was a long room and had three separate beds. There were two small desks tucked into a corner and a tall dresser. On one side there were doors that Sirius presumed led into their closet and another door closest to him that led to the bathroom.

The others made themselves comfortable but Sirius continued to stand, only half listening to the conversation that they were having. He moved towards the desks in the room, noticing there was a book laying on one. When he picked it up, it read _'The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts'_. He was curious as to who was reading it, Gemma or Felicity. There was a couple of trinkets on the desk; poorly painted cat figurines and a small box that had various patterns on it, with the initials F.J.B.

Sirius faintly heard Vivian's words and picked up the book and began flipping through it. He was catching snippets of the conversation, but Vivian's words haunted him. She didn't know what was really happening outside the walls of her house. "They don't care about families, Vivian," Sirius said. "They've already murdered people. There are kids at our school that had lost their families because they won't join You Know Who. There's bee countless muggles who have gone missing lately because they're taken and tortured for fun."

Vivian's face went pale. "So what d'you think your parents are saying to them?"

"It's probably just to warn them, Viv," said Gemma. "Just to be cautious."

Sirius tuned out the conversation again as he put down the book and picked up the small box. He turned it over in his hands a couple times before walking over to Felicity. "Fea, what is this?" He sat down on the bed beside her and handed her the box.

She took it from his hands, opening it with ease and when she did a soft piano sound came out of it. "It's a music box, Sirius," she said, showing him the contents inside. There were various objects inside that Sirius didn't understand why they were in there. He wanted to take the picture out but was careful not to make a move. "When you open it, the music plays and when you close it, it stops."

"I didn't know you still had that," Gemma said from her spot, eyeing it closely. "Mine's around here somewhere."

"Why do you keep this stuff in it?" Sirius asked, his eyes shining with curiosity.

"Well, anything that's of importance to me I put in there," explained Felicity with a shrug. "Everything that's in there means something to me; has a memory attached to it."

"How come there's nothing of me in here?" he asked, making her laugh.

"Because you haven't done anything to deserve a spot in there," she said while James sniggered.

"I think I'm the most deserving!" Sirius said, quite taken aback. He'd have thought he was important enough to her that she'd _want_ to put something of his in there.

Gemma rolled her eyes. "You can't put a snog in there, Sirius."

"Oi, Pads," said James, his eyes lighting up. "Put a lock of your hair in there!" James made a motion to his head of hair.

Gemma laughed. "That's so medieval!" But Sirius was already pulling out a couple of his hairs. He ran his fingers through, catching strays and held them up proudly.

"No, no, no!" Felicity said, closing the music box and pulling it away from him. "I get to choose what goes in there! And having your hair in there does not mean it's special."

"But it's from me," he whined, watching her stand and put the music box back.

"Doesn't matter," said Gemma with a smirk. "Felicity does what Felicity wants."

"Don't worry mate," James said from his spot on Gemma's bed. "We'll figure out a way to get something for her to remember you by in that box!"

Sirius sat on the bed, somewhat put out that he hadn't given anything to Felicity of importance. Or rather that she didn't have anything to remind herself of him in the small music box.

Vivian came back into the room, a bottle of wine clutched in her hand, which peaked Sirius' interest. "What did I miss?"

Gemma squealed and jumped up to close the door quietly. "Are they still talking away?"

Vivian nodded and quickly uncorked the wine before taking a swig and passing it to Gemma who did the same. "These girls are hard core," said James, glancing at Sirius with a mischievous glint in his eye. Sirius was looking at Felicity, who was walking back towards him with a smirk on her face.

"Why d'you think I picked a bird like Fea," replied Sirius, who snagged his arm around her waist, almost causing her to drop the bottle that Gemma had just handed her. She smirked at him before bringing the bottle to her lips and taking a swig. She made a face but didn't spit it out. "This is horrid, Viv. It's so dry I'm nearly choking."

"Alright, James, Sirius, it's time to go!" yelled Mrs. Potter from downstairs which caused the boys to moan.

"But the party was just getting started," mumbled James before yelling, "Coming!"

"Alas my fair lady," Sirius said, plucking the bottle of wine from Felicity's hands and passing it to Gemma who took another swig before hiding it in the closet for later. "I must take my leave. Grant me with a kiss so I won't wither away without your presence until we meet again." He had been thinking of getting Felicity alone all night, just wanting to have her kiss him.

Gemma sniggered. "We'll wait in the hall, make it quick!" She ushered James and Vivian out who were making kissing faces at Felicity and Sirius.

As soon as the door closed, Sirius was already on her. His lips were hungry and she tasted like sweet wine. He put his hands on either side of her face, cradling it. His insides were on fire with want and need so he pulled her closer. When he bit her lip, she let out a faint moan and Sirius was tempted to toss all his clothes on the floor.

Sirius broke away with a smirk on his face, pulling her against him in an embrace while his mouth found her ear. "I've missed kissing you." He smelt her hair one last time, running his nose along her jaw.

"Is that the only thing you missed of me?"

"I've missed plenty about you," Sirius said, pulling apart and gazing at Felicity's face. "Before I forget," he rummaged through his pockets quickly before pulling out a small wrapped parcel. "Happy Christmas."

"We weren't supposed to get each other anything!" The look she gave him was worth all the trouble he'd gone through to get her gift. Her face was half rage and half excitement.

"I know, but I couldn't resist; I saw it and immediately thought of you. Open it when I leave, that way if you don't like it you have time before lying and saying you love it." He threw a wink and a smirk her way.

Felicity nodded, laughing slightly as she quickly shoved it underneath her pillow. The two walked out the door, quickly heading to the stairs with the others as they went down. Sirius was sad to go and he held onto Felicity's hand until the very last moment that he could.

"Ah, there you are," Mrs. Barnett said, standing by the door, handing cloaks to Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were watching James and Sirius carefully. Sirius retracted his hand from Felicity's

"We were about to come up looking for you," said Mrs. Potter, her gaze flicking between the two boys.

Sirius tuned out the chatter as he continued to look at Felicity. He was trying to memorize her face until the next time he'd get to see her.

"The Potters have graciously invited us to their house for New Years," Mr. Barnett said, trying to act serious in delivering the news, but a smile escaped.

Sirius' heart leapt into his throat and he wanted to jump around in joy.

"Yes!" James said, turning around to high five Gemma. "Remus said he'd come as well!"

"D'you mean all of us or just Gemma and Felicity?" Vivian asked, unsure of whether she counted as someone who was invited.

"We'll hire a sitter for the night," Mrs. Barnett said. "And the five of us will go for the evening."

Vivian looked relieved and excited. "I don't think I've met Remus before!"

"Oh, you'll like him," Gemma said, eyeing Vivian. "He's just like you, smart and anti-social."

Sirius laughed at Gemma's joke but Felicity poked him in the ribs, causing him to stop.

"Alright, alright," Mrs. Barnett said, handing James and Sirius their cloaks, which they put on quickly. "That's enough out of you three." Felicity threw her hands in the air and gave an expression of distaste at being scolded for doing nothing. Her mother pretended not to see.

The Potter's and Sirius thanked the Barnett's for having them over and how great the food was and before filing out the door Sirius ran back and kissed Felicity on the cheek once more. He caught Gemma rolling her eyes as he left, letting out a barking laugh.

The wind was cold as the four of them walked away from the house and Sirius kept turning back until he couldn't see it anymore. Instead of waiting another week to see Felicity he only had to wait another couple of days until New Years and the thought gave him hope and happiness. He'd eagerly go home and write her a letter and when he took Mr. Potter's arm to apparate home, he was much less nervous than he was earlier.

* * *

 **This was a bit of a long one but I hope you didn't find it too repetitive. I thought it'd be interesting to see how Sirius thinks compared to Felicity.**

 **Thanks to Essie the Fangirl & Smurficorn for the reviews! I enjoyed reading your kind words of encouragement! **

**Shoutout to everyone who has favourited or followed this story! I hope you're enjoying it.**

 **Until next time! xoxo**


	15. Chapter 14

When the doorbell rang the day before New Year's Eve, Felicity was bounding down the stairs to be the first one to open the door. In a lovely emerald green coat, standing on the Barnett's doorstep was Lily Evans and her parents. Felicity nearly squealed in joy because she was so happy to see her best friend. The two girls hugged quickly before Felicity ushered them all inside out of the cold.

The Evans, minus Petunia, had agreed to come over for afternoon tea. It had been Felicity's idea since they'd had the Potters over on Christmas. Lily had eagerly called her back saying that they would love to come over. Felicity had been ecstatic by her response and couldn't wait until the day came that they would be over so Felicity could tell her everything that had happened over Christmas.

She had sent Sirius a letter Christmas night, not but an hour after they had left thanking him for the generous gift of the earrings, which she had put in and not taken out yet. She went on to say that she was excited for New Years and that she was looking forward to seeing him. Felicity had written and re-written the letter no less than four times before she deemed it satisfactory and sent Thunder out in the windy night.

Sirius hadn't sent a letter back, but Gemma had voiced that she wasn't concerned. It was rare that Sirius wrote letters to anyone. At her words, Felicity thought back to the summer when she had received a letter from Sirius and kicked herself for not writing back.

Felicity took the coats from the Evans and ushered them into the living room, where her parents were already waiting. With the tree now gone and Christmas over, the living room looked quite more spacious than it had a couple days earlier. With the couches and chairs now back to their original spots, Felicity quickly snagged the couch furthest away from their parents and practically shoved Lily down.

"I'm assuming you have lots to talk about?" Lily questioned, giggling as she tried to get comfortable.

"You'll never believe who my mother invited over for Christmas dinner. I was going to tell you over the phone, but I wanted to see your reaction."

Lily suddenly seemed interested. "Don't make me wait, out with it!"

"Mama invited the Potter's and Sirius to come over! I didn't even know until he was sitting in my favourite chair and I came into the living room!"

Lily's eyeballs bulged out. "The one by the fireplace?"

"Yes, that's the one!" Felicity could feel adrenaline running through her veins as she tried to keep her voice lowered.

She'd already received the talk from her parents on the day after Christmas. They had gone into detail about precautions and how she was only 16 (Felicity argued she'd be 17 in 5 months), and should be taking these things slow. Her parents, being muggles, didn't understand that it was normal in wizarding society to be dating so young, even being married and betrothed. Although being married and even shagging were the farthest things from her mind, especially when she felt lightheaded and couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach at even the thought of Sirius, she had agreed that she would be taking things extra slow.

"How was it? Having to share a meal with Potter and Black outside of school?"

Felicity smirked at Lily's tone. She had thought at the beginning of the year that James and Lily had been getting on all right but lately Lily seemed just as angry as before.

"It wasn't bad," Felicity assured. "It was actually really fun, I was surprised myself. I think you would have enjoyed being here too Lily."

The redhead scoffed. "I'd rather not waste my perfectly good Christmas dinner spending it in the presence of Potter and Black."

"You'll have to call him Sirius eventually, we're practically dating."

"I'll call him by his first name when you two are married," was Lily's reply as she wagged her eyebrows at Felicity, who burst into giggles. The parents, who were mid conversation stopped and looked at the girls before resuming.

"He bought me these earrings," Felicity gushed as Lily gasped at her new ear wear. "We promised not to get each other anything but he got them anyways."

"I'm impressed," said Lily, clearly taken aback. "I wouldn't have expected that from him."

"Me neither," Felicity said. "The only horrid thing was James let something slip about Sirius shagging anything with an arse and my parents flipped the next day." Lily gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, trying to hide a smile. "They sat me down and made me tell them everything that's happened so far."

"You didn't-"

"Oh, of course not!" Felicity said with a wave of her hand. "I told them we hold hands while walking down the corridor and have shared a few 'innocent' kisses."

"You're so mischievous!"

"Well, it's not exactly a lie. I'd say I've always been like this but I feel different and light and oh so daring." Felicity lowered her voice even further. "It's like I'm getting to be a completely new person experiencing all these things yet still the same me."

"Daring?" Lily said, only catching the beginning of what Felicity had said.

Felicity shrugged. "I feel different. I don't usually act like this, be this kind of person who is flirty and has to let Bertram Aubrey down because I fancy Sirius Black."

"So you _do_ fancy him!" Lily said that a little louder than necessary and Felicity all but clamped her hand down on her face to try to stop her.

"Of course I fancy him," Felicity hissed in a whisper. "Why would I be snogging him if I didn't fancy him?"

Lily laughed. "I thought he slipped you some love potion or something."

Felicity shook her head, face blushing. She didn't know that Lily felt that way and she faintly wondered how her fascination with Sirius had grown so quickly.

"How did your family take the news? Had you told them beforehand?" Lily was rapidly firing off questions, too interested in the conversation to stop.

"I hadn't mentioned it _at all_. Vivian was rightly furious later that night; she demanded I tell her everything that had ever happened. Gemma was smart enough to keep her mouth shut. But when they showed up, it just kind of let itself out. I hadn't realised they were coming so I didn't prepare anyone." Felicity let out a huff. "Alright that sounded a little bad but as soon as he saw me he came up, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek!"

"Were your parents furious?" Lily was smirking.

"Papa told him he thought I'd be the one ended up with a hundred cats!"

Lily couldn't help herself and laughed out loud at the comment. "Oh, that's rightfully funny!"

"It was so embarrassing, but I think he said it to ease the tension. Sirius had told James' parents all about me but I hadn't even mentioned it to my family. I think he was a little angry, but he didn't show it."

"I think I'd be upset too if you had done that to me!"

"I was so shocked I didn't know what to do!" Felicity said, a smirk coming to her face as she remembered how she'd been standing there, frozen.

"Other than that it was a good Christmas though, yeah?" Lily questioned.

Felicity shrugged. "I'd say so. The Potters wanted to talk to mama and papa and made us go upstairs for a good amount of time but we just chatted and had a couple good laughs."

Lily was intrigued. "What did they talk about?"

"James thought it was about Death Eaters and You Know Who." Felicity's voice dropped as low as she dared.

"James said that?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"I can't be sure but I'd say that's about right. I think the Potters were trying to warn them."

Lily looked over at her own parents, a sad expression on her face. "They know some of what has happened but I haven't been overly helpful with information. I'm almost scared to say something more."

"I had the same thought. Vivian kept asking questions and I felt bad that she didn't fully understand. But the muggle world and wizard world are two different places. It's kind of scary to think about."

"How much do your parents know?" Lily asked her voice dipping low as she fidgeted with her hands.

Felicity shook her head. "I can't be sure. I wasn't there when they talked to the Potters."

"I think I'd rather keep my parents in the dark, as bad as that sounds," she said, chancing a glance at her parents. "I don't want them to worry or be afraid."

Felicity nodded, thinking that she had wanted the same thing for her sisters.

"Where are your other half's?" Lily questioned. "I haven't seen any of your sisters anywhere."

"Mellie is napping right now. Penny is around somewhere with her nose in a book," as Felicity said that, there was a laugh from the corner of the living room, behind the piano and out popped Penelope, laughing as she ran upstairs, a book clutched in her hand. The Evans and Mr. and Mrs. Barnett didn't say anything as they all watched the girl flee. Felicity sighed, because that sort of madness was quite common in the Barnett household. "Gemma is out to Diagon Alley with some friends from Hufflepuff and Vivian went out shopping."

Lily was laughing. "Your sisters are a crazy bunch. I wish mine was like that."

Felicity patted Lily's shoulder. "Petunia isn't so horrible."

Lily glared at Felicity when she couldn't get out her statement without laughing. "I mean, I wish she was more understanding, like Vivian. You got the better end of the stick."

The front door opened and closed and after a couple minutes of shuffling, Vivian came into the living room, holding multiple bags. "Oh, just the sister I was looking for!" She said, motioning for Felicity to come upstairs. "I've found the best dress for you to wear tomorrow!"

Felicity laughed. "What's tomorrow?" Asked Lily.

Felicity looked sheepish as she grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her upstairs to the bedroom. "We're going to the Potter's for New Year's."

"Your parents allowed you to?" Lily seemed outraged.

"Our parents are coming," Vivian said as she was rummaging through her bags, her heavy winter coat still on. Lily looked disappointed as she sat on Felicity's bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking over to the redhead girl.

Lily huffed. "Well, _I_ wasn't invited."

Felicity and Vivian stopped what they were doing to gawk at Lily. "But Lils, you _despise_ James Potter."

"Yes, well," Lily struggled for words. "It would still have been nice to have been invited."

Felicity let out a snort. "You can't have it both ways. Either you fancy James and want to go to the New Year's party, or you don't fancy him and are stuck not being invited."

Lily grumbled to herself while Vivian took a gorgeous golden dress out of a shopping bag, before handing it over. Felicity gasped and nearly dropped the dress, it was so bloody beautiful. Even Lily had stopped her complaining to gaze in wonder.

"Where in Godric did you find this?" Felicity wondered, holding the magnificent dress in her hands. It was short – probably shorter than anything Felicity would normally wear. It was sparkly, not with sequins, but the fabric was a beautiful golden colour that shimmered in the light. The only thing that concerned Felicity was that it looked awfully low cut.

"Just in London," Vivian said, shrugging her shoulders.

Lily was looking at the dress when she noticed the price. "How in Merlin's beard did you afford this?"

Vivian shrugged. "I work at the store down the street after school a couple days a week. I don't usually have to buy anything when I'm with mama or papa, so it mostly goes into savings. But, on the rare occasion that I find something I just can't live without, I'll buy it. This dress was one of those things."

"How come you aren't wearing it?" asked Felicity, feeling guilty as she held the expensive dress in her hands.

Vivian shrugged and waved her hand. "Gold isn't my colour, but it's always suited you."

"But you're basically the same," Lily said, crossing her arms as she eyed the dress longingly.

"Felicity has to impress Sirius. I'm going to hopefully see a bit of magic, I don't need to get dressed up for that!" There was a glint of mischief in her eye as she pulled out a midnight blue dress, it had a sparkly tint to it and she waved it in front of the girl's faces. "Plus I found this one that I enjoy better and it was a bit more expensive than Fea's."

"I don't have to impress _anyone_ ," Felicity said, carefully putting the dress in the closet.

* * *

The next evening, as the Barnett's walked up to the Potter's house, Felicity got nervous. This was her first New Year's party, unless you counted spending New Year's with your family every year. She'd never been to anything remotely this fancy before and her heels clicked on the pavement to the beat of her heart.

The five of them knocked on the door, as Felicity tried to hold her hair down so it wouldn't look like a mess as the wind howled. Mrs. Potter opened the door to loud music and many voices chatting and laughing.

"Welcome!" she said enthusiastically, opening the door wider and welcoming them into the foyer of their home.

The warm air hit Felicity like a brick wall but she welcomed it. Her legs were freezing from not wearing pants.

With a flick of her wand, Mrs. Potter took all the coats and hung them neatly in the closet. "We're so happy you could all make it! Please, come in and help yourselves," she said, motioning to all the adults that had gathered in the large living room. Felicity, Vivian and Gemma all shoved their bags into the corner, which contained all their needs for a stay over. Mrs. Potter gave another flick of her wand and their bags were gone. Vivian looked over astonishingly at Mrs. Potter but Gemma just grinned.

"Oh, Viv. You haven't seen anything yet," said Gemma as Vivian's eyes lit up.

The last time Felicity had been at the Potter's house all the lights had been off, giving it an air of mystery, but now they were all alight and showed off the Potters obvious wealth. Felicity couldn't help but stare at all the nice things that littered the room; vases, ornaments and most obvious, a large dragon skull that hung over the fireplace.

Mrs. Potter noticed the obvious interest that Felicity and Vivian were showing with the skull so she explained. "Poor thing," she said, gaining the girls attention and pointing to the skull. "Charles had tried to save it but it was too badly hurt for anything to be done. He's got so many connections within the Ministry that when he asked for the skull, they practically gift wrapped it for him."

"Quite curious," Vivian said, her eyes never leaving the magnificent object. "How come he didn't keep the rest of it?"

Mrs. Potter laughed. "Oh, it would never have fit in here. Dragons are hundreds of feet long and having the skull is bad enough! You wouldn't believe the people that come in here thinking Charles had actually killed it. But enough of that morose talk!" Mrs. Potter smiled at the three girls, before her eyes flicked behind them. The girls turned to see James, Sirius, and Remus descending the stairs.

James and Sirius were in dark black robes with their hair slicked back. Remus wore dark green robes and looked to have been in a fight with a dragon himself. The scars that were on his face looked fresh and red with pain. Immediately Gemma gasped and walked over to him quickly, having a hushed conversation.

Felicity gave Vivian a sideways glance that Viv returned with a raised eyebrow before the two of them walked over to the boys. "Vivian, you know James and Sirius obviously, this is Remus, another one of our friends from school."

Vivian held her hand out to Remus who shook it quickly. "Nice to finally meet you," he said with a smile.

"How has your holidays been?" Felicity asked, her eyes raking over the scratches on Remus' face.

"They've been alright. Lots of running about," he said with a smirk, which made James and Sirius snicker.

"Have you been running from a dragon?" Vivian asked politely, completely unaware that there were no dragons in England or anywhere close.

Remus looked confused. "No, I can't say that I have."

"It looks like you've been in a cat fight," Felicity supplied.

"That's because he has been," Sirius said, slinging his arm around Felicity. "His parents got him one for Christmas but the little devil likes to scratch. Isn't that right Moony?"

Remus forced a smile. "Yes, Sirius is right. We call her Claws because that's all you ever feel when she's near!"

The group laughed and Felicity felt more at ease. Of course there would have been a perfect explanation as to why Remus had the scratches on his face, why had she thought otherwise?

There was a gleam in the corner of the far room that caught Felicity's eye and when she turned her head she noticed what it was.

"Oh, James, what a lovely piano you have!" Felicity said, quickly walking over to run her hands over the smooth glossed finish. "I didn't know you played!"

"He doesn't," said Mr. Potter, who had come up behind Felicity. The others had walked over and were standing around, curious as to the conversation. "We tried to teach him but he refused."

"What a spoil-sport," Gemma said, nudging James with her elbow, earning a glare.

"I'd rather have played Quidditch," said James, crossing his arms. "There's nothing wrong with that!"

"Oh, but just think," Felicity said, as she touched one of the keys to test the sound and of course, it was perfectly in tune. "You could have been a well-rounded fellow and serenaded Lily with your piano skills." The group laughed at Felicity's words while James blushed.

"Do you play, my dear?" Mr. Potter asked, his eyes alight. "Not nearly enough people come over that can."

Before Felicity could open her mouth to protest that she would rather not play, Vivian appeared beside her and forced her to take a seat on the bench. "Oh, Felicity is a wonderful pianist! She is always playing at home during the holidays!"

"I didn't know Felicity could play the piano," Sirius whispered to Gemma, who elbowed him in the stomach.

"Of course she can, you git. She's incredibly talented!" Sirius looked guilty at her words as he muttered apologies and an 'of course, I knew that'.

When Felicity turned around to glare at Vivian, Mr. Potter clapped his hands and seemed simply delighted. "Attention, everyone! Our dearest Felicity Barnett is going to play us a piece on this lovely piano." He turned and walked to his wife, putting an arm around her waist before he nodded at Felicity as if to play.

But Felicity panicked. She hadn't played the piano since the summer, for she hadn't the time during the break this year. When she placed her hands on the keys, she could see them shaking. The whole room around her was quiet and after a moment's hesitation, she wasn't sure she could go through with it.

"Just breathe," said a voice in her ear and she turned to her right to see Sirius take a seat beside her on the bench. "There's no one in the room but you and me okay? I'm going to stand at the end of the piano, just watch me and pay no attention to the people behind you." She felt his arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her cheek before he was gone out of her sight, only to reappear at the end of the piano.

She took a deep breath and put her fingers to the keys again. Felicity glanced up, and saw that her friends, even Peter who had shown up late, where surrounding the piano and giving her nods of encouragement.

So she played.

Softly, at first, her fingers floated across the keys. The melody was slow until her fingers were gliding across the keys speedily. Felicity hadn't even noticed she was done until her shaking hands pulled away from the keys and rested on her lap. Her eyes had been on her fingers most of the song, for fear that she might mess up but from the roaring applause around her, she figured she hadn't done too shabby.

When she raised her eyes, Sirius was beaming at her, a look of immense pride in his eyes. He was shouting and hollering while his hands clapped together as fast as Felicity thought humanly possible.

"That was absolutely marvelous!" Mr. Potter boomed while Mrs. Potter was seen chatting adamantly about her second son's new girlfriend. "You are a witch of many talents!"

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Felicity said with a smile as her parents engulfed her in a hug.

"That was simply wonderful, darling," Mrs. Barnett said, gazing down at her daughter. "We're so very proud of you for getting up there and doing that beautiful piece for the Potters."

"Blimey," James said as Mr. and Mrs. Barnett wandered off to go and chat with the other adults. "I didn't know you could play so well! You'll have to teach me something to play for Lily."

Felicity scoffed as Sirius' arm went around her waist and he pulled her in close. "You're a lost cause, Potter." The others laughed at her words and Peter came up to give her a hug and say Merry Christmas.

"The gangs all here now," James said with a wicked grin in Sirius' direction. "Let's ditch this lame get together and start the real party!"

As the group of children ('We're adults, I tell you,' Sirius said in a whisper) started to make their way upstairs, Mrs. Potter frantically waved Felicity over to where she was standing with her parents and another couple.

Felicity, unsure what to do, looked at Sirius, who merely took her hand and told James they'd be up shortly. As they made their way across the room to where Mrs. Potter and her parents stood, many people that Felicity didn't know stopped her and patted her on the back to tell her how good a job she'd done.

When they finally stopped at the group they were looking for, Mr. and Mrs. Barnett were smiling proudly at Felicity while Mrs. Potter introduced the couple she was chatting with.

"Felicity, I wanted you to meet Mr. and Mrs. O'Connell. They both work at St. Mungo's."

Mr. O'Connell was an elder gentleman in dark blue robes that matched his twinkling dark blue eyes, while Mrs. O'Connell was wearing a loose red dress with a cloak thrown carelessly over her shoulder. Mrs. O'Connell looked quite a bit younger than the Mr. but Felicity didn't say anything when she shook their hands.

"Mr. O'Connell works with Potions and Plants Poisoning while Mrs. O'Connell works with Spell Damages," Mrs. Potter went on. "Felicity is interested in becoming a Healer and is finishing up her final year at Hogwarts."

"It's very nice to meet both of you," Felicity said, feeling her cheeks getting slightly warm at all the attention she was receiving tonight.

"Oh, the pleasure is all ours," Mrs. O'Connell said with a warm smile. "Your piano playing was magnificent and if your healing abilities are to match it, I think that you'll make an excellent healer!"

"Which department would you be interested in working in?" Mr. O'Connell said, seeming quite interested.

"I'm not sure yet," Felicity said. "I'm just focusing on finishing my N.E.W.T's!"

The adults and Sirius laughed. "Well I will set up a meeting for when you finish school," said Mr. O'Connell, patting Felicity on the shoulder. "You can come and take a week and see what each department is like. I'm good friends with the Head Healer, the person in charge, who oversees all operations at St. Mungo's. I'm sure he'd love to have a sit down with you and talk about the different programs we offer."

Felicity could feel her heart pounding in her chest at such an opportunity. She was speechless and felt as if she were in a dream. "Of course! I mean, yes that would be wonderful!"

Mrs. O'Connell laughed and smiled at Felicity. "We've heard many wonderful things about you from Emily and we'll be looking forward to seeing you."

"I can't say thank you enough!" Felicity gushed, shaking both their hands enthusiastically while her parents looked on with proud expressions.

"Mam," Sirius said, looking at Mrs. Potter.

"Yes darling?" she said, pushing some hair away from his face.

"Everyone's headed upstairs now, you know…" he let the sentence drag off.

"Ah yes," Mrs. Potter said, laughing. "The real party begins!" Mrs. Potter directed the last part at the adults and they all laughed. "Are we too boring for you Sirius?"

"Only sometimes," he said with a smirk, giving Mrs. Potter a peck on the cheek.

Quickly Felicity got the hint and went and said a quick goodbye to her parents, saying that she'd see them tomorrow.

"Tell your sisters we say goodnight and Happy New Year!" Mrs. Barnett said, patting Felicity's cheek tenderly.

"Yes, mama!"

"You know the rules Sirius," Mrs. Potter said. "Keep the door to the attic unlocked. Charles will be checking on you all a bit later!"

Sirius grinned and nodded before taking Felicity's hand and leading her to the stairs.

"I can't believe Mrs. Potter just introduced me to those people. They didn't even bat an eye! A meeting with the head healer, I can't even believe it!"

Sirius grinned at her as he led her up the stairs. "Believe it Fea! Things can only go up from here!"

Felicity couldn't help but think that Sirius was right.

When they both reached the top of the stairs, there was another small set of stairs that led to a slightly ajar door.

As Sirius pushed through into the attic, the sound of music hit Felicity's ears and the smell of food made her stomach growl.

"Can I offer you a refreshment?" James said with a laugh, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them. They both nodded and Sirius strode off to grab a seat while Felicity took everything in.

The room was long and had a couple of couches and chairs that had been pushed in a circle. There were blankets and pillows piled in a corner and she could spot her bright red knapsack near a bay window. Vivian and Gemma were sitting on a couch while chatting with Remus, who sat next to them on a comfy looking chair. Peter was standing beside James, pouring what looked like fire whiskey and butterbeer into cups before walking over and handing them out.

Sirius went straight for a couch and immediately lounged on it, resting his feet up before thinking better and removing them. He patted the seat next to him and wiggled his eyebrows at Felicity, who grinned and went to sit next to him. James and Peter passed around cups and they all raised them high, shouting 'Cheers!'

As midnight approached everyone was rightfully drunk and Vivian was having the most fun out of all.

"Just let me use it once," she tried to persuade Remus.

He laughed and grabbed her hands to stop them from trying to find his wand. It took a couple tries because they both burst into laughter. "I'm telling you, it won't work!"

"Vivian, stop trying to fight Remus!" Gemma said, tackling her sister to the floor in a fit of giggles.

"Oi you lot!" Felicity shouted, gaining everyone's attention. "It's almost midnight!"

"Refill the cups!" Shouted James from atop a couch, looking like a knight on a mission. "We must drink to the New Year!"

Peter quickly grabbed the fire whiskey and poured everyone a small shot into the glasses they all held.

The radio announced that they would be counting back from sixty and Felicity immediately went over to where Sirius stood, taking his hand and grabbing his complete attention.

"This sure does bring back the memories," she slurred, swaying a little, thinking back to the Halloween party.

Sirius barked a laugh before drowning his glass. One hand caressed her face while the other grabbed her waist and pulled her close. She followed suit and emptied her glass while groans were heard from behind.

"They're going to snog now, everyone turn away," said James.

"OI, get a room!" shouted Vivian through laughter while Gemma made hurling noises.

But Sirius and Felicity didn't listen to the words. It was as if they were in their own little world as the radio counted down.

His lips were on hers in a matter of seconds and they both tasted like fire whiskey. Felicity's hands were threaded through his hair and his fingers dug into her dress. Her body felt like it was on fire wherever he touched and she revelled in it; she never wanted it to stop.

They broke apart as the radio announced that it was a New Year. "Happy New Year, Sirius," Felicity said, kissing him again as if she couldn't get enough of his lips.

"Happy New Year, Fea," said Sirius as they broke apart.

There was a moment as they both stared at each other's eyes – grey to hazel – before they were broken apart by Gemma, who squeezed herself in-between the two.

"Go away Sirius," she said, throwing her arms around Felicity. "I need to hug my sister."

* * *

 **More of a filler chapter but hope you enjoyed none the less!**


	16. Chapter 15

The day before Felicity was to go back to Hogwarts following the winter break, she found herself sitting in the living room of her family's home, Melody wrapped up and snoozing on a pile of blankets and pillows beside her.

When Vivian came pounding down the stairs, Felicity was sure that Mellie would start to cry, however the small baby stirred but didn't wake.

"Keep it down, would you?" Felicity said in a whisper, frantically trying to point out that Melody was sleeping and if she woke, they'd all be sorry.

Vivian looked sheepish as she muttered, "Sorry."

Felicity moved from her spot near Melody towards the window as Vivian joined her. "Where are you off to?"

"I have to head to work for a bit. Someone called in sick and they need me to cover a couple hours," Vivian said, pulling on a pair of shoes. "What are you doing with those albums?"

Felicity gazed down to the albums in her hands, full of photos that her parents had taken over the years. "Reminiscing."

"Oh, look at that one," said Vivian, pointing to a photo of their parents. They both looked young, her mother sporting a fitted white gown while her father wore a tailored suit. "That was their wedding day."

Felicity's finger grazed over the picture. They were both staring into each other's eyes with a happy expression, laughter evident on their faces. "That was probably the best day of their lives," responded Felicity.

Vivian shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sure it was one of them." She sighed, her eyes never leaving the photo. "I want a love like theirs."

Felicity sighed like her sister. "So do I." She thought back to all the times she had seen her parents unbelievably happy and in love, how they would do things for each other without even thinking – like her father making a cup of tea every evening without question for her mother, even if she didn't end up drinking it.

"You have a love like that already," said Vivian softly.

Felicity snorted. "I don't love Sirius."

Vivian snorted back and held in a laugh. "You must be blind. Or maybe just stupid." When Felicity shoved her, Vivian shoved right back. "Anyone with eyes can tell that Sirius is head over heels for you. You might not love him now, but I'm positive that one day you will."

"You're deranged." Felicity stated, flipping through more pictures to try and take her mind off what Vivian said. "He's so different than me. Sirius is outgoing and loud and mischievous. He's smart, brave, and courageous. I can't lie and say that I don't love spending so much time with him, because I do. He brings out this side in me that I never knew existed and it's thrilling. I like Sirius, but am I in love with him? No. What we have isn't like what mama and papa have. He'll get bored eventually and I'll be left to mend my broken heart."

"Is that what you think?" Vivian said, outraged. She lowered her voice when she noticed Melody stirring again. When the baby stilled once more she smacked Felicity upside the head. "Don't be a fool. Don't hold yourself back from having an epic love – yes, I bloody well said epic," Vivian said at seeing Felicity's expression of distaste. "You could have what mama and papa have and more, if you let yourself. You're not a prophet, you can't see the future. How do you know that you and Sirius are to be doomed? He could be the one and you won't even open yourself up to the possibility. I feel sorry for Sirius because he is genuinely giving you everything he has and you aren't doing the same."

"You can't say that-" Felicity said, getting ready to argue her point but Vivian interrupted her.

"Stop being a twat. Stop holding yourself back. Give Sirius everything that you have because unless you don't, then and _only_ then will you be doomed. And it won't have been Sirius' fault, it'll have been yours."

"But-"

"Felicity," implored Vivian, taking her sister's shoulders and shaking them. "He could be the one. He looks at you like he's a man dying of thirst and you are the only water for miles. Have you seen him glance at any other girls? Because I haven't. Gemma raves about how much he talks about you, and so do the Potters! The only one holding back is you and why? Because you're scared? Who isn't when it comes to love? You have to open up to this person and let your guards down and that's _scary_! But the payoff at the end – finding someone that you can be one hundred percent yourself with, that loves you for exactly who you are, faults and all, that's priceless."

When Felicity didn't say anything, for her mouth felt like it was dry and completely glued shut, Vivian continued. "Give him a chance, Fea. You've come this far and it's been nothing short of amazing. Give him everything you can and I promise that it'll be worth it.

"And if for some god awful reason it doesn't work out? You'll get through it. You have Gemma and Lily and I; and Penny and Melody and Mama and Papa. You have Remus and Peter – bloody hell you even have James. We'll all help you get through it because we love you and we're all here for you. Give loving Sirius a chance, you might surprise yourself."

Before Felicity could think of anything to say, Vivian tied her shoes, grabbed her jacket and marched out the door.

The house stilled and there wasn't a peep. Her parents had gone out for the morning to run errands and Gemma had left early to go to Diagon Alley with friends. Penelope was off hiding somewhere with a book and with Melody sleeping, Felicity felt alone.

She closed her eyes and laid her head back – knowing that the house was too quiet and that it wouldn't last. With 4 sisters there was always something to be done or taken care of.

Her thoughts wandered to Sirius and she pictured him as he was the last time she saw him on New Year's, with tousled hair and a smirk on his face. His eyes alight with laughter and happiness.

Was she being unfair to him? Was she holding herself back? At this point she wasn't sure, but with how Vivian had spoken, Felicity knew her sister was right. She needed to give Sirius a chance – and a full chance at that to know if she really could love him.

Creaking on the stairs made Felicity open her eyes and she saw Penelope walking towards her with a large comforter wrapped around her small body. When Penny looked up and saw Felicity notice her, a grin slid onto her face and her pace quickened. She jumped onto the couch next to Felicity while the elder sister placed the photo album on a table beside her.

"And what have you been up to little munchkin?"

Penelope grinned at her sister and snuggled up beside her. "Can you help me with something?" Her voice sounded so hopeful that Felicity had a hard time saying anything but yes.

She sighed. "Yes, Penny, I'll help you. What do you need?"

Penelope's grin grew wider and her words came out in a rush. "Can you wrap me up like you used to and finish reading this book to me because I only have a few chapters left but my eyes hurt from reading all night and morning and the book is just so good I couldn't put it down so will you Fea?"

Felicity held back a laugh and glanced over at Melody. "I'll have to be quiet though, Mellie is sleeping."

Penelope nodded enthusiastically as her sister wrapped her body up tight in the blanket. Felicity rested her sister's head in her lap, putting a pillow underneath for comfort. When she propped open the book Penelope's eyes slid closed and a pleasant smile shone on her face.

Her voice was quiet in the large and empty house and soon Penelope was snoring along with Melody. Trying not to move, Felicity picked up the photo album that she had moved to the table and began looking through them again, her fingers hovering over the same picture of her parents.

"Can I love you, Sirius?" she asked the quiet house.

* * *

"My book bag is heavy," Lily complained on the way to Potions.

"Let me carry it for you," James suggested hopefully, and Lily, completely caught off guard, stuttered a little before James slipped her bag off her shoulder and onto his.

"My head is so full of information it's going to fall off my head," complained Felicity, trying not to draw attention to James and Lily. She was trying to hide her sideways glances towards the two who were talking in low tones.

"I have something that will cheer you up," Sirius said, tugging on Felicity's hand.

"Sirius, I'm not in the mood to snog." Gemma snickered at Felicity's words.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Merlin's beard, I have _some_ sense."

Felicity sighed. "I don't want to shag you either." Peter and Remus' laughter bounced off the stone walls.

"I wasn't asking you to shag me, although that's not a bad idea," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Everyone filed into the Potions classroom while Felicity and Sirius stayed outside beside the door. "So if you don't want to snog or shag, what is it that you think will cheer me up?"

Without another word, Sirius pulled a small brown wrapped package from his bag and handed it to Felicity. It looked to be the size of a book and felt like a book. When she unwrapped it, she noticed it was the copy of her healing book that she had thrown at him in the common room a couple months ago – but now the spine and pages had been repaired.

"Sirius, I-"

"You don't have to say anything," he said softly, putting a stray hair behind her ear. "I sent it in to be repaired and it's done now."

Felicity's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. She wasn't sure what to do or say, so she threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you," she said against his lips. "I can't thank you enough."

Instead of kissing her back like he normally would, he buried his face in her neck and held her close. "You don't have to thank me," Sirius said, his mouth breathing against her skin. "Just keep reading it and keeping up with your studies; I want you to be the best healer in St. Mungo's."

When he pulled away and took her hand to lead her into the Potions classroom, she replayed the words in her head. He thought so highly of her and his words gave her confidence. The way he held her hand, softly then squeezing before letting go, made butterflies appear in her stomach.

Felicity took her seat beside Lily and immediately turned to get her attention, but Lily was finding something fascinating in her Potions book.

"So, he's holding your book bag now?" Felicity said, a smirk playing onto her face.

"It was a nice gesture," Lily said with a shrug.

"Since when are you nice _back?_ "

Lily sighed before turning to Felicity and leaning closer. "You don't see him the way I do – out on patrol during the night. It's different. _He's_ different. He's not so insufferable anymore… he's-"

"He's nice, isn't he?" Felicity said, a smug expression growing.

Lily sighed. "It's quite confusing. Sometimes he's so annoying I want to throw him off the astronomy tower and other times he's so sweet-"

"You want to snog him?"

Lily was quiet but her cheeks started to blush. Felicity tried to play it cool but she couldn't help but slap Lily's arm a couple times. "D'you know if they are letting us go back to Hogsmeade sometime soon?"

Lily nodded. "The next trip is in two weeks I think."

"You should ask him." Felicity was smiling so hard that she thought her cheeks were going to fall off. "I know he'll be really happy Lils. He really likes you, anyone knows that."

Lily sighed but didn't say anything more on James. "How are you and Sirius? Thought more of what Vivian had said to you?"

Of course Felicity had told Lily everything that Vivian had said as soon as she'd saw her. Lily thought that Vivian was completely right, which was something new because Lily had always given off the impression that she hadn't liked Sirius.

"I mean, things are good. I'd like to get to know him better, know more about his family and his home life before he went to the Potter's but he's not so forthcoming with information. He seems to think that it's all in the past and it doesn't matter anymore. But I find I'm seeing Regulus more and more in the hallways and almost mistaking him for Sirius. They both have that long hair from the back and that tall stature…"

"But how do you _feel?_ " Lily emphasised. "That's more what I'm getting at. I don't think Sirius will tell you all about his former home life right away, I'm sure he'd rather forget it for now."

"I feel amazing with him," Felicity confessed. "I mean, I've never felt this way before-"

"It's scary," Lily supplied, giving Felicity a knowing look.

"Very. I mean, they are all good emotions," Felicity said, chancing a look back at Sirius, who had his head bent towards James as they whispered back and forth. Just looking at him sent more butterflies into her stomach. "I think I'm really falling for him."

Before Lily could say anything, Professor Slughorn came into the room, his robes in array and many books in his hands.

"Now class, we're going to be brewing an Amortentia potion today, the ingredients are in your texts." Slughorn glanced around the class to make sure everyone was paying attention. "Black, Potter, this is important!" He said as James and Sirius were sniggering. "This is a very advanced potion. But you are all in your seventh year so be prepared! This is the hardest potion we've had to brew this year so pay attention to what you are doing. Read over what you'll need while I open the cupboard…"

"Amortentia, isn't that-" Felicity started but Lily finished her sentence.

"The most powerful love potion! Yes, I've been reading about it. I can't wait to see what mine smells like," Lily gushed, writing down the ingredients she'd need.

There was a loud bang and Sirius and James roaring with laughter but the girls new better than to look around, they had been having Potions with those two for seven years and at this point Felicity just didn't want to know what they had done. Slughorn flew past their table towards the back and began reprimanding them.

"Now that's quite enough," Felicity heard Slughorn huff. "I've put up with you two for this long but you've lost your chance. Miss Evans!" Lily immediately turned at the sound of her name.

"Yes, professor?" she said uncertainly for she had to know what was coming. Felicity groaned.

"You are to be partners with Black, Miss Barnett, you are to be partners with Potter." The four students groaned and started to complain but Slughorn wouldn't hear of it. He dragged James up to where Felicity was by his collar and, more gently, guided Lily over to where Sirius was sitting with a glum expression.

"Well this didn't work out as planned," James said with a sad smile as he took Lily's seat next to Felicity.

She sighed. "What was the original plan?"

"Sirius was supposed to go with you and I was supposed to go with Lily," he looked back longingly at Lily, who had just hit Sirius upside the head and rolled of her eyes.

"You both are idiots for thinking Slughorn was gullible enough."

Remus snorted from his seat to Felicity's right and looked over at James with apologetic eyes. "She's got a point, mate."

James grumbled as he followed a laughing Felicity towards where the ingredients were stored. With her arms full, Felicity walked back to her cauldron and began heating it.

Lily passed by and gave Felicity a longing look. "I hope this isn't permanent."

Felicity sighed, looking over to an angry looking Slughorn. "Somehow I think it will be."

As Lily walked away, James came back. They both worked in silence, dropping in ingredients as the recipe called for them and stirring occasionally.

"I wonder how many people would actually use this," James said suddenly.

Felicity looked up, pushing stray hairs away from her face. "What?"

"You know," James said, shrugging. "I wonder how many students brew this and then try to use it, especially with Valentine's Day in a month or so."

Felicity felt a knot of concern in her stomach. "I'm sure Slughorn-"

James laughed. "Yeah, right. He's about as sharp as a leaf."

Felicity felt herself blush. "Well I don't know James, I've never really thought about it."

"Can't say I have either," James said quickly.

"Liar."

Now James was the one blushing.

"Do you really like her?" Felicity half whispered.

James looked up at Felicity first then gazed behind him until his eyes fell on Lily. "I think I love-love her."

Felicity snorted. "Don't say you love-love her. What are you, five?"

James looked down, blushing again. "Well-"

"If you like her James then you should let her know. I can't say for certain that she'd turn you down." Felicity tried to act casual, stirring her potion and looking back at her textbook. She didn't want Lily to bombard her with questions afterwards.

James was playing anything but cool and his head snapped up and he said loudly, "You think so?!"

Felicity smacked him as everyone around them turned to look at what possibly could have had James' undivided attention. After a couple minutes James spoke again.

"Do you love him?" James said in a softer voice.

Felicity nearly dropped her stirring stick into the potion at James' words. She snuck a glance back at Sirius, who was also looking at her. He gave her a smile before responding to something Lily had said. Their eyes never left each other and Felicity felt oddly calm staring at Sirius. It wasn't awkward like she had felt earlier in the year. She turned back to find James staring at her. "I'm not sure if I know what love is," was her reply.

James nodded, thinking about what he was to say next. "I used to think that I would only find love from my parents. How they would mend my scraped knees, giving me hugs and tuck me in at night. Then I met Sirius, Remus and Peter. I found this new love, a brotherly love." He paused as Felicity watched him stir. "I know that sounds dumb; brotherly love. But I grew up an only child and after finding them and getting to know them through the years; I wonder if there's anything I wouldn't do for them. They're my family, I think of them as such.

"And now I see Lily and it's much more. It's listening and devoting yourself one hundred percent to this person because all you want is to see them happy. You find this person who you think could compliment you as a person; make you better. You want to _be_ better for them. I know I'm not perfect but I want to be the one to make Lily happy. I want to know what it would be like to spend forever with her, to grow old and have kids and grandkids. There's a war going on – one that I haven't forgotten about – and I want to be there to protect her."

Felicity waited for him to go on but James just continued to star at his cauldron. "James, that was – I mean… that was beautiful."

James nodded, somber looking. "I need to say one more thing and I don't know how you'll take it." When Felicity didn't say anything but sit and look at him, he continued. "I know Sirius isn't big on feelings but he thinks you're something special. Some kind of rare girl that he'll never find in a million years. He's falling hard for you, Felicity. And as his best mate-" he stopped, trying to find the right words. "I wanted you to know. Because after everything is said and done, he deserves someone who would give one hundred percent to make _him_ happy. After what he's been through, he deserves nothing less. And I want you to be that girl because I know he cares for you. I've never seen him act like this before, it's unnerving. I… I just need to know if you feel the same way."

Felicity couldn't look at James because her face was on fire and she was embarrassed. It was one thing to talk to Vivian or Lily about her feelings but here was James, trying to look out for Sirius' best interests and wondering if she could give him the kind of happiness he deserved.

Her throat felt dry and her hands felt sweaty as she looked up at James. His eyes were almost pleading at her. _Say the right thing, say the right thing_ , her mind was screaming at her. Why was it so hard to admit to people and to herself that she had feelings for Sirius?

"I can't say that I'll always make Sirius happy," Felicity started, her voice only a tad louder than a whisper. "Because happiness can change form and change fast. But I do care for him, _deeply_ care for him. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the room-"

James laughed. "I don't need specifics," he said with a smile, his shoulders relaxing. "You see something in each other that I can't possibly begin to comprehend, you know, because I'm in love with Lily." He chanced a glance back at her before turning back to Felicity. "But friend to friend? He's in love with you. Don't break his heart."

Felicity felt like the wind was knocked out of her. She almost forgot how to breathe. Sirius? Was in love with her? Her mind was running at a million times a minute. Her heart started to beat faster. She thought about the times that he'd tucked her hair behind her ear, all the stolen kisses and the random acts of kindness that he would do for her. She thought of her healing book that sat in her bag.

"What is it?" James asked with concern in his voice.

Suddenly she smelt it. It was Sirius; he must have been standing behind her because she could smell him. Felicity whirled around, ready to scold him for trying to sneak up on her but when she turned, he was still back at his table, chatting easily with Lily; both of them in a deep conversation. She closed her mouth with a pop and turned back around.

"Felicity," James said. "You're starting to scare me."

She ignored James and leaned in closer to her potion, which smelt exactly like Sirius.

"Well someone has made an excellent potion!" Slughorn said from his perch at his desk. "I can smell it!" He laughed a little at his own joke before going back to writing on his parchment.

James inhaled deeply, a smile coming to his face. "Yeah, it must be yours," he said, pointing to Felicity's cauldron. "It smells amazing."

Felicity leaned in again and suddenly smelt an ocean breeze. The tanginess of the sea salt; if she closed her eyes she could imagine she was back at the beach. She closed her eyes and revelled in the feeling.

But just as fast as it came, it changed. Now it smelt like a twist of vanilla and cinnamon and it brought her back to home; imagining her mother taking some fresh baking out of the oven. Felicity's mouth started to water as she thought about eating.

And then again it was back to smelling like Sirius. Felicity breathed in deeply; and felt herself fill up and feel safe and comfortable.

It was James that broke her concentration. "It smells like him, doesn't it?"

Felicity turned to him slowly, piecing together the puzzle that was Sirius Black.

"I think I'm in love with him, too."

* * *

 **Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope this chapter was filled with enough love to last you a bit! Please review and let me know what you think so far! I always love to hear what you guys are thinking!**


	17. Chapter 16

Hogwarts had become a very glum place the next couple of weeks. With teachers preparing N.E.W.T's for the seventh years, meant homework and many hours spent in the library for Felicity. Her sleep schedule was suffering, but she saw the great prize in front of her; being a healer at St. Mungo's. Sirius had begun to grow weary and had even found himself in the library most of the time, if only to remind Felicity to take breaks and eat. Mostly, he would fall asleep and begin snoring, getting kicked out in the process.

Dumbledore had once again cancelled any Hogsmeade visits, for the amount of Death Eaters that frequented the small village began to rise. More and more times the Daily Prophet would report muggle families being killed and even magical families being injured or murdered with the Death Eaters attempting to persuade more people to join their cause.

At the end of January, Felicity found a spare bit of time and wrote letters to her family; one to her mother assuring her that her classes were going swimmingly, one to Penelope to wish her a Happy Birthday with some chocolate frogs enclosed, and one to Vivian, detailing her time with Sirius and her new found feelings for him.

 _I can't explain the way he makes me feel. I'm trying to find the right time to tell him, but is it too soon? What if he doesn't feel the same way? I've been going over the conversation I had with James and I'm unsure of what to do next._

Felicity had been exchanging letters with Vivian at a rapid rate, as Gemma was almost no help at all.

"Just get it over with," she said one morning. "You're stressing yourself out too much. Once it's over it'll feel like a great big weight has been lifted off your shoulders."

But Felicity couldn't bring herself to do it.

During the days Felicity would flit between classes and in the evenings she'd head to the library; mostly with Lily but frequently with others in tow. The common room was becoming much too crowded and loud, but as the weather began to change more and more people started to venture outside again. The weekends were spent reading and studying various different subjects, including the healing book she had bought in the fall. When she was required to, Felicity would go to the Hospital Wing and aide Madame Pomfrey (whom she was growing increasingly fond of). Many times she was forced to spend her time with Isabella, mainly in silence while the girl gave her dirty looks.

Sometimes she would head down to the Quidditch Pitch with Remus and Peter and watch the Gryffindor practices, which had started up again with vigour.

On Valentine's Day, Felicity was walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast with Lily when she spoke suddenly. "James and I are together."

Felicity nearly stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait, what?"

Lily blushed and fiddled with her fingers, but continued walking, forcing Felicity to pick her jaw up off the ground and follow. "We've decided to go steady."

"Since when?" Felicity asked, grabbing Lily's arm. "This is awesome! I'm so happy for you, Lils!"

"Thanks," the redhead said, her shoulders visibly relaxing. "It was last night, as we were on patrol. It just sort of happened."

"Spill everything," Felicity gushed, linking their arms as they kept walking towards the Great Hall.

"We were talking," Lily said, her smile growing. "And then all of a sudden we were snogging."

"You snogged him?" Felicity nearly screamed. Her face felt like it was going to break from her smile being so big. "Lily Evans snogged James Potter!"

"Stop being so loud!" Lily laughed. "I don't want the whole school to know!"

"Well it's about time!" Felicity said with a huff. "He's been chasing after you since as long as I can remember!"

Both girls laughed as they entered the Great Hall and took seats. Not before long, Remus and Gemma walked in together, chatting causally. When they both had taken seats and said a polite 'Good Morning', Felicity couldn't hold it in any longer.

"James and Lily are dating!" She blurted before Lily smacked her on the arm.

Remus and Gemma looked at each other before looking back at Felicity and Lily. "We know," said Gemma, shrugging her shoulders with a smile.

Lily sputtered a reply while Felicity laughed. "W-what?"

Remus buttered a piece of toast while he spoke. "This is James we're talking about, he was practically shouting it this morning while getting dressed. 'Evans and I, we're going steady.'"

"Evans and I _are_ going steady," James said while he strode up and took a seat next to Lily, to which she blushed and put her face in her hands.

"I've created a monster," Lily mumbled, quite embarrassed.

"I couldn't be prouder of my ickle Jamesie!" Sirius said, laughing and standing on the bench next to Felicity. "OI! EVERYONE!" Sirius shouted to the half full Great Hall. Almost all heads turned simultaneously towards Sirius without a question.

"Sirius, get down! Before you get a detention!" Felicity urged, tugging on his robes frantically.

"No, love, the world needs to know this," implored Sirius before he raised his voice again. "My very best mate, James Potter has finally snagged the bird of his dreams, Lily Evans!" There was a silence before someone started clapping and the Great Hall erupted into applause, mainly from the Gyffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Many people shouted 'About time!' and 'FINALLY!'.

The one person who caught Felicity's eye was Dumbledore, who was sitting at the head of the table, wearing a grand smirk and clapping slowly. Professor McGonagall was sitting next to him, looking unamused and muttering to him.

Much to Lily's embarrassment, James stood on the bench as well and started bowing before Sirius gave him a clap on the shoulder and they both sat down.

"Never a dull moment with you, is it?" Felicity said with a frown at Sirius.

He grinned before rummaging through his book bag and pulling out a flower, sticking it behind her ear. "Happy Valentine's Day, love," he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

* * *

That evening, as Felicity was lying in bed, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Groggy from almost being asleep, she rolled over to see Gemma hovering over her.

"Bloody hell, Gem. You're going to give me a heart attack!" Felicity whispered.

"I'm supposed to get you to go downstairs now," she said with a yawn. "Your prince charming awaits."

Suddenly Felicity's insides were melted butter as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a jumper. She slipped into slippers just in case and headed down the stairs.

Sirius was standing in the dimly lit common room with a smirk on his face. Felicity walked up to him and his arms slid around her waist. "I have a surprise for you."

"You do?" She said softly, failing to keep the surprise out of her voice before reaching up to press her lips against his.

Sirius sighed against her and pulled his hands away from her waist to take her hand. "If we don't get going, I'm not sure we'll make it in the first place."

Felicity snickered. Before she had started dating Sirius, the thought of going out into the castle after hours sounded like a very bad idea. But now with Sirius holding her hand and leading her out of the portrait hole, she wasn't sure what she had been so scared of in the first place. Her body was running on pure adrenaline at this point and she wasn't feeling sleepy at all.

They were both quiet as Sirius led them towards their tower; Felicity was sure she would have been able to find the way in her sleep at this point, for they had gone there too many times to count. As they ascended the stairs, Felicity wondered what possibly could have been waiting for her.

She was surprised when Sirius opened the door to reveal a quaint little picnic. There was a red blanket that had been thrown over the cold stones and a basket sat in the middle, with a couple of pillows thrown down for comfort.

"I had James do a spell so it wouldn't get cold," Sirius said, pulling Felicity towards the picnic and making her sit on one of the comfortable pillows.

Felicity was at a loss for words, she wasn't sure what to say.

"Butterbeer?" Sirius offered, handing a glass full of the foamy liquid to her. She took it with grateful hands, a smile on her face.

"Sirius, this is perfect," Felicity said, gazing around at the light snow falling around them. It was cold enough to snow but where Felicity was sitting, she felt perfectly warm.

"Just like you," he said with a wink, clinking their glasses together while she blushed.

"You didn't have to do this for me," she whispered, scooting closer to Sirius, who put his arm around her shoulders to bring her close.

"I didn't have to; but I wanted to," said Sirius, kissing her forehead. "I want you to know how special you are to me."

"You don't have to do things like this, you tell me constantly!"

Sirius chuckled. "I know but I like to show you too."

Felicity wiggled her eyebrows, in what she hoped was seduction. "Please, do show me."

Sirius groaned. "Woman, you drive me wild!"

Felicity giggled like a school girl as Sirius pulled her over so she was sitting on his lap. Her body felt like it was on fire as Sirius' hands roamed down her back and came to stop at her waist. He pulled her close so their chests were touching as he reached up to press his lips against hers.

Snogging Sirius was probably one of Felicity's favourite past-times. When their lips met, she forgot all about anything that could have possibly been worrying her and focused on him. Sirius tasted of butterbeer and his lips were as soft as ever. The light stubble on his chin tickled her but she ignored it as his lips went from hers to her neck. Felicity groaned.

"You have to stop making those noises," Sirius growled in teasing. "It's killing me."

Felicity didn't know what to say. She made the noises because snogging Sirius made her feel _good_. "Do they bother you?" said Felicity, slightly out of breath. She wound her hands into his hair as he proceeded to go lower; laying small kisses across her collarbone.

"They make me want to do naughty things to you," replied Sirius.

Felicity could feel herself blushing. "What kind of naughty things?"

Sirius snorted, his eyes coming up to level with hers. "You know what kind of naughty things, you tease."

Felicity couldn't help it, she laughed. "Does it bother you that we haven't shagged yet?"

Sirius gazed into her eyes for a moment before he answered. "Sometimes, yes. Like right now would be the perfect time to shag your brains out." He smirked and Felicity laughed. "But I know that's not what you want so I'll wait patiently until you're ready."

"Do those lines usually work on your other conquests?"

Sirius gave her a peck on the lips. "You're not a conquest."

"Then what am I?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're everything," whispered Sirius, pulling her closer again and snogging her. When she moaned again he pulled away with an annoyed expression. "Alright, no more of that!" But Felicity just laughed as she moved off his lap.

Sirius gave her behind a quick swat before she resumed her position on her pillow.

They were quiet for a while, sipping butterbeers and enjoying each other's company. It was Felicity who broke the silence. "Sirius, may I ask something of you?"

"Anything, love."

"And you won't get angry?"

Sirius turned to look Felicity in her eyes. "How could I ever get angry at you?"

"I am quite annoying," she conceded, another blush coming to her cheeks as her eyes lowered to her hands.

"I don't think you're annoying," he said, lifting her chin so that her eyes would meet his again. "Quite the opposite, actually."

"Will you tell me about your family?"

It was quiet for a moment. "I suppose you don't mean the Potter's."

Felicity shook her head.

Sirius sighed, looking up to the sky before he spoke. "Are you sure? This isn't a very touchy-feely subject."

Felicity nodded in encouragement, words failing her.

"My parents aren't the nicest, but you already knew that," he said, before turning back to look at her. "I ran away for a reason – they are the worst kind of people imaginable."

"I know they are," Felicity said quietly. "I just – I wanted to know more."

Sirius nodded in understanding. "I know. They weren't always so bad. I remember when Reg and I were younger; they were more tolerable – to an extent. My father, he'd beat us if we ever got out of line. We weren't allowed to socialise with the Muggle kids, only Purebloods. They'd take us to these stuffy parties and we'd have to be on our best behaviour or else… well, I'd rather not get into the kind of punishments that I used to get.

"I didn't like how they thought people could be inferior to us. As if our blood somehow made us better. I'd rebel when I could. I was so scared when I'd made it into Gryffindor, my whole family had been in Slytherin and I was the odd man out. When I went home that summer after first year, I thought I was going to die. I honestly thought that they were going to murder me. I was beaten so many times that I lost count…"

Felicity had quiet tears in her eyes when Sirius looked back at her. "I'm sorry, this isn't very romantic talk; I'll stop."

"No," she said, her voice breaking. "Please, I want to hear it all."

Sirius hesitated before continuing. "I would count down the days until I'd get to go back to Hogwarts and I'd owl James all the time. By the end of the summer Mrs. Potter had finally heard about what was going on and showed up one day with James to take me with them. She offered for me to stay with them for the last week before school. I thought it was my lucky day, she somehow convinced my evil mother to let me go.

"I'd hoped that Reg would have been sorted into Gryffindor too and that we could have been together but he landed himself in Slytherin. I tried to help him out as best I could. My parents were so proud of him; it made me want to vomit.

"Over the years I started to learn how to stand up for myself in certain situations and in others to just let my parent's bad mouth me. If there was company around, I knew better than to say anything stupid. Most of the summer's they would just lock me away, as if they didn't see me then I didn't exist. I'd always manage to get to the Potter's somehow and I'd feel safe. Mrs. Potter is more a mom to me than my own mother was.

"Finally this summer I couldn't take it anymore. I'd said something rude to my mother and my father backhanded me. We were at the table eating and he was the closest. Reg was there and watched as he beat me and made me apologise. After dinner my parents went out to see their Death Eater friends and took Reg with them. I packed whatever I could and sent an owl to James letting him know I was coming. I got on my broom and never looked back. I left them a letter – so they knew I'd never be coming back. Reg told me in a week later that my mother had written me out of the will, which I had been surprised to know that I was still in, and blasted my portrait off the family tree. But I don't care; the Potters took me in as if I'd been their son all along and I guess after all these years they thought of me as family too."

Much to Felicity's protest, she'd started to cry. "Oh, Sirius that's just awful."

"Please don't cry, love," he said in a soothing voice, pulling her close. "I wouldn't change anything if I had the chance."

"How can you say that?" she whispered. "I'd change everything; your entire childhood sounds dreadful!"

"But it led me all to you," he said simply, placing his hands on either side of her face and kissing the tears that slowly slid down her cheeks.

"Am I just a way to get back at your parents?" she asked somberly.

"What? No, of course not! How could you think that?"

"I'm a muggleborn," Felicity said, as if that answered all the questions.

"I don't care about that and I don't care what my parents could possibly think. Mr. and Mrs. Potter love you, they think you are absolutely fantastic and their opinion is the one I care about."

"Are your parents really Death Eaters?" asked Felicity quietly.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't think so. Not officially. They know Death Eaters and they support Who-Know-Who's cause about blood purity; but I don't think they've pledged themselves to him."

"I'll murder them for what they've done to you," Felicity said, pulling Sirius into a hug, pressing herself as much as she could into him.

"As much as I love that idea," Sirius said, smiling. "I think you need a little more dueling practice."

"Yes, I supposed you're right."

The two were quiet once more, as they both lay back to watch the stars. "Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you another question?"

He chuckled. "Yes, of course."

"If your parents wrote you out of the will, how did you afford to buy me those earrings? Or repair my book?"

Sirius was quiet for a minute or so before he answered. "I had an uncle. My uncle Alfred, he was estranged from my family because he didn't believe in their views either. He died shortly after we got back to school in September. I was the sole heir in his will; he left his fortune to me."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"That's alright," Sirius said, squeezing her hand. "I didn't tell anyone except James. He's the only one who knows."

Felicity nodded, feeling grateful that Sirius felt comfortable enough to tell her.

"C'mon," Sirius said, tugging her so she was lying beside him, tucked under his arm. "Let's look at the stars; I know it's your favourite."

She shook her head, pressing herself closer to him. "You're my favourite."

* * *

As more weeks past, Felicity found she was falling more and more for Sirius. Gemma would always make rude comments about their obvious displays of affection, such as holding hands and snogging when they could get the chance. Some nights they would meet at the tower and snog for a bit before watching the stars. And each time, Sirius would stop before it could go any farther.

Felicity faintly wondered if any time would be the right time. She felt the urges; she knew they were there. Was it really more prudent to wait until after they had graduated, like she'd planned in her head? She thought back to her parents, who she knew would frown upon the thought. It was only the end of February, beginning of March that she made the vow to at least wait until her birthday in May. That way, if they'd both made it until then they'd at least both be seventeen.

Gemma always thought it was prudent to throw the fact at Felicity that their relationship was the longest that Sirius had ever had. It worried Felicity for the fact that Sirius must be getting bored of her, but her next thought was always that if he'd stuck around this much, there must have been something about her that he loved or even liked deeply.

"How are things between you and James?" Felicity asked one morning as her and Lily made their way to their seats in the Transfiguration classroom.

"Oh, absolutely perfect," Lily gushed, a blush growing to her cheeks. "He's still the same old James, up to no good when I'm not around. But when we're together it's simply magical."

"Oooooh," Felicity teased. "Simply magical?" She said it in a sweet voice as if to mimic Lily.

"Oh, shut up, Fea," Lily said, smacking her arm. "You're such a prat!"

Felicity laughed. "I think I've been hanging around Sirius too much, he's rubbing off on me!"

"I had resignations at first," Lily confessed. "You know, because of the way he's always been. But he's been good to you. _And_ I think he's good for you."

Felicity sighed. "You think so?"

"I know so," promised Lily. "The way he looks at you," Lily snuck a peek to look at where James and Sirius were laughing in the back row at something Peter had said. "It's breathtaking to watch. And he brings out this wild side in you." Lily poked Felicity making her squeal.

Felicity was about to tease Lily when Professor McGonagall strode into the classroom. The students immediately went quiet, shuffling to take their books out. With a flick of her wand, elegant writing was written up on the black board, with specific instructions on what to read.

"This class will be used as a learning one. Read the pages that have been instructed and write a half page on your findings," she said calmly. "I'll be back shortly. Would both the Miss Barnett's please gather your things and follow me."

Felicity's head snapped up at her name and her eyes locked with Lily. What was happening? Why were both she and Gemma being pulled out of class?

"What for?" Gemma asked. "Couldn't you take me out of Charms instead?"

The classes chuckled at Gemma's comment but Professor McGonagall wasn't having any of it. "Quiet please! Now, both of you gather your things and follow me." The Professor didn't wait for either of them to say anything more and strode out the door.

Felicity quickly gathered her things, a feeling of dread in her stomach. Students didn't usually get pulled out of class unless they'd done something horrible. It must have been a mistake. She thought back on her time with Sirius in the tower and faintly wondered if they'd been caught. But then why would Gemma have been pulled out as well?

"Come find me after you're done," Lily whispered, her voice small and worried. She squeezed Felicity's hand as she walked away to join Gemma, who was waiting at the door.

When she walked passed Sirius, he gave her a confused look but didn't say anything.

As both girls stepped out into the corridor, Professor McGonagall closed the heavy wooden door behind her and started walking.

"What did you do?" Felicity whispered to Gemma.

"Me? I didn't do anything!" Gemma whispered back fiercely before she raised her voice to talk to McGonagall. "Professor, what's this all about?"

"I'm sorry girls, but I think it's best if you speak with Professor Dumbledore."

As McGonagall continued walking, Felicity reached out and grabbed Gemma's hand. They walked in silence while Felicity's mind was working a million miles a minute.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 17

**Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and favourited my story so far! It really has meant such a deal to me and as I continue to write, I do so for you guys; the readers.**

 **My dearest Kelly, your review was so kind-hearted that you actually made me squeal while I read it. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter and on the character I named after you! (double squeal)**

 **All my love xoxo**

* * *

By the time they had arrived at a statue of a gargoyle; Felicity's hand was sweaty from holding Gemma's and her fingers hurt from squeezing so hard. The knot in her stomach was so large that she thought she was going to vomit.

"No matter what happens," Gemma said in a whisper. "We have each other's back, yeah?"

Felicity locked eyes with Gemma and nodded. "Together," she whispered back.

"Licorice Wands," McGonagall said loudly as the gargoyle jumped out of the way, a staircase appearing. McGonagall walked up the stairs steadily, with Gemma and Felicity following behind. To say Felicity was nervous was an understatement.

Felicity had never been in Dumbledore's office before and the first thing she noticed, before being told to sit in a chair, were the portraits. There were many of them, with some showing wizards or witches inside and others being empty. Dumbledore was standing by a window, stroking a young looking phoenix.

As the girls took seats in the two chairs that were offered, Dumbledore summoned up another two with his wand, one for him and one for McGonagall. They sat across from the girls, both looking grim.

"I'm sorry," Gemma blurted, her eyes wide with worry. "For whatever I've done. Please don't blame Felicity!"

"You are not here because you are in trouble," said Dumbledore, his voice smooth and calm. Felicity had never been this close to him before, for she had never gotten into any kind of trouble in the seven years that she'd been going to Hogwarts, so she'd had no need to see him or go into his office.

"Then why?" asked Felicity, her eye brows knitting together.

Dumbledore sighed before glancing at McGonagall, who was watching him intently. "Since last night, there have been three separate Death Eater attacks"

Felicity's blood ran cold. Chills worked their way down her arms and her back, making goosebumps rise. "What?"

"Very early this morning, the Ministry received reports of a multiple fires broken out in muggle towns. There were also reports of illegal curses." Dumbledore glanced between the two girls, his face solemn.

"No!"

"A few of the houses were burnt to the ground and…" Dumbledore stopped to regard both the girls before he continued. "Muggles that had tried to flee were killed."

"No!" Cried Gemma again, burying her face in her hands. Sobs racked through her body and the small room was filled with her cries mixed with screams.

Felicity sat in her chair like a stone, staring at Dumbledore. There was no twinkle in his eye, no warmth at all; just sadness. She felt her world collapse around her; everything that she'd known was thrown out the window. "Please," she begged, her voice breaking. She wasn't sure what she was begging for; whether it was answers to the million questions that were sorting through her head or the fact that she didn't want to believe that any of this could possibly be true.

Gemma looked up at the Professors, tears shining on her face and red eyes, hopeful that this could have been a mistake.

"I'm sorry," said Professor Dumbledore, his voice showing compassion and hurt. "There was nothing the Aurors could do. By the time they had arrived, the damage by the Death Eaters had been done."

Dumbledore didn't need to outright say it; the intention of what he was saying was perfectly clear.

Gemma wailed; her body racking with new sobs as the news hit, her face burying in her hands again. Felicity sat, still as a stone, trying to comprehend what possibly could have happened. She looked between McGonagall and Dumbledore, hoping that this was some kind of sick joke.

"I'm very sorry," McGonagall said, who looked like she wanted to embrace the girls, but didn't move from her spot.

Felicity felt something wet on her fingers and when she looked down, she noticed that there were tears streaming down her face.

"The Aurors put out the fire as fast as they could," Dumbledore said, his own voice conveying sadness. "However, most of the house is beyond repair. The survivors had the confundus charm cast upon them-"

"What about our family?" whispered Felicity, clinging to any sort of hope that they could be alive, "Our parents? Our _sisters_?"

"Your house was one of many that had irreversible damage. Although the Aurors are working around the clock to bring justice… There's no evidence that anyone from your home survived."

It was then that Felicity tuned him out, turning to Gemma. She crawled out of her chair and went to kneel in front of her sister, her heart broken and laying on the floor in a million pieces. Her hands were shaking as she moved Gemma's hands away from her face. "Gem," Felicity said, her voice breaking again as more tears flew from her eyes.

"They're gone," wailed Gemma, throwing her arms around Felicity as she sank to her knees beside her. The girls clung to each other; the only sound in the room was Gemma's sobs and wails. Felicity felt hollow as she stared at the door and stroked Gemma's hair and back.

As Felicity sat there, she couldn't remember the last thing she had said to her parents. Had she told them that she loved them? What about her sisters? Penelope had just turned 11; this would have been the summer that she would have found out if she was going to Hogwarts or not. Melody was only half a year old and her life had been cut so short. And Vivian, the third piece to the puzzle that was the triplets was now dead.

Felicity and Gemma, the last two Barnett's, were now utterly and completely alone. Their parents hadn't any siblings and their grandparents were already gone, old age having took them one at a time.

Felicity couldn't help but think of all the birthday's they would never celebrate, especially their 17th which would be coming up in a few months' time. How could they celebrate now when Vivian was cold and dead? Christmas would never be the same, and at this point when they went home in June after completing Hogwarts, they'd have no home.

The girls stayed wrapped up in each other's arms for what seemed like forever until McGonagall and Dumbledore started talking. Felicity didn't hear anything, her mind was numb and she'd zoned out. It wasn't until Gemma was shaking her that she realised that she was trying to talk to her.

"They're going to take us back to the common room," she hiccupped, pulling Felicity up with her.

Felicity didn't say anything the whole walk back and neither did Gemma. The only sound was Gemma's sniffles as they walked through the corridor, Dumbledore by their side as McGonagall had gone back to class, which had surely ended by now.

Somehow Felicity had made it back to the common room and sat on one of the couches, staring into the fire.

"Fea?"

Felicity looked over to Gemma, who's eyes were so red and puffy she was sure they'd run out of tears to cry. "What do we do now?"

Felicity pulled Gemma to her, so the girls were embracing once more. She sniffed Gemma's hair, which smelt of lavender and peaches. The smell hurt her heart; it reminded her so much of home. "I don't know."

"Where will we live?"

Felicity was quiet. "I don't know."

"We're orphans," sobbed Gemma, who had somehow started to cry again. "We'll never see them again. Mama or Papa. Vivian, Penny and little Melody – they're all gone."

Felicity pulled back and looked at Gemma, moving the hair away from her face, which was tear stained and distraught. "We have each other. We're together. We'll get through this and figure it out."

"I-I…" stuttered Gemma, unable to get words out because she was crying.

"I'm here, Gem. I'll always be here."

"I'm going to kill whoever did this," vowed Gemma, her voice shaking and breaking as she said the words.

Felicity didn't say anything but pulled Gemma's head down onto her shoulder as the girls sat there and stared into the fire.

* * *

It wasn't until much later that the common room portrait swung open. Both girls were in the same position that they had been in when arriving at the Common Room.

Felicity felt hollow. Her head felt heavy. Her mind had turned off as to avoid thinking of anything. She just stared into the fire, tuning everything and everyone out. She didn't want to think about anything that she had learnt in Dumbledore's office; she only wanted to sit in peace with Gemma beside her.

Someone was shaking her; it was Peter. She saw his worried eyes and saw his lips moving but she couldn't make out what he was saying, so she focused her eyes back on the fire. She felt Gemma sobbing again and rubbed circles on her back with her hand.

The next face she saw was Remus; who looked worried as well. He was speaking but she closed her eyes. She didn't want to think or feel. She just wanted to sit. She held Gemma close, her arms aching from the strain. Felicity focused on the pain, on the strain of holding her so tightly for so long. She'd read once that holding someone close in a time of grief was the best thing for them, but now it felt like rubbish.

Felicity opened her eyes when Gemma touched her cheek; she hadn't realized that she had been crying again. Gemma hastily wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her robe.

"I love you Gem," Felicity said, pushing hair away from her face.

"I love you, Fea," she heard Gemma say.

"I think she's in shock," she heard Remus say.

"I'd go loopy too if that happened to my family," Peter said quietly, but not quietly enough.

It all happened quickly; Felicity had pushed Gemma away as she stood and pointed her wand at Peter, who looked shocked that there was now a weapon, pointed at him, of all people.

"You keep your mouth shut about things you don't know," Felicity threatened. "Or I'll shut it for you." Her arm was outstretched, her wand was inches away from Peter's forehead and he was as still as a statue. "Do I make myself clear or do I need to spell it out so your imbecile brain can understand?"

Peter squeaked but didn't say anything.

"Hey, hey!" Sirius said huffing as he suddenly appearing at Felicity's side, pushing her wand arm down so that it was pointing at the floor. Felicity yielded to Sirius without a fight, but her eyes never left Peter's. "What happened, what's wrong?" He stepped in front of her so that her eye contact was broken.

"Completely mental," Peter muttered, taking a couple steps back towards the wall.

Felicity saw red as she lunged around Sirius for Peter, clawing at the arms that held her back as the bastard of a boy cowered in fear. She heard the pounding of blood in her ears. "You son of a bitch!" Felicity yelled, using all of her muscle to try and break free. "I'll murder you with my own two hands! How dare you say that to me! How dare you say that in front of Gemma, your friend!"

"Felicity, calm down!" James said as he and Lily stepped in front of her. "Tell us what happened!"

"They're dead!" She roared, losing all composure. "They're all dead!" She was sobbing as Sirius held her from behind, James and Lily standing there in shock. "You stand there," she screamed at Peter, "thinking that you're all high and mighty while my whole family was murdered! How _dare_ you!"

"Pete," said James very calmly, "maybe you should take a walk."

"No!" Felicity screamed. "Let go of me!" She struggled against Sirius as Peter took his leave and scurried out of the portrait hole, looking ashamed. "You're a monster! Come back here, you coward!"

Felicity stood there, heaving in air and sobbing. "They're gone," she wailed, all of her resolve breaking.

The common room was empty except for the six of them, quiet except for Felicity's sobbing. Gemma was clutching Remus, her head buried in her hands as he held her shaking form. Lily was standing with her hand covering her mouth, silent tears leaking down her face while James stood not knowing what to do or how to react, staring at his toes.

"Love," Sirius said, "tell me what happened."

Felicity shook her head as she sobbed. "I…"

"Dumbledore said it was Death Eaters," Gemma spoke softly as she clung to Remus, who held her tightly. "They came early in the morning and killed families, set fire to their houses. Some families didn't make it…" Her voice broke as she tried keeping it together but failed.

Felicity was trying to get air into her lungs but was having a hard time. "I… can't," she sobbed, feeling pain in every ounce of her being.

"Breathe, Felicity, breathe," soothed Sirius, as he rubbed her arms.

Gemma was suddenly in front of her, both hands on Felicity's face. "Fea, you have to calm down!"

"I…. gone…. dead… never…." She sobbed as she tried to catch her breath, failing. Felicity pulled away from Sirius as she clung to her sister; the only family that she had left.

"We're all here," Gemma promised as she cried, reciting the words that Felicity had said to her earlier. "We'll get through this."

* * *

It was late that evening when Felicity lifted her eyes away from staring at the fire. She was curled into a ball, her arms wrapped around her legs and her head resting on her knees. Sirius was beside her, laying down and lightly snoring. The sky was dark out the window across the room, so Felicity guessed it was late in the evening.

Her whole body felt stiff from sitting in the same position all day but she couldn't bring herself to move. She had been sitting, her eyes flitting between watching the dull fire and the window; she had watched the sun shift from the afternoon to the evening and eventually disappearing. The sky was now black, the stars barely coming out because of the clouds rolling in; but Felicity found she couldn't come to look at them.

It felt like her whole body hurt as she stood and walked over, pushing the window open. The air was chilly – quite chilly, actually – as she let it wash over her body. When she breathed, she could see the air in front of her. But the cold was welcoming, it matched her body. She wanted to feel something that wasn't loss and sadness, the grief welling up inside her at the impossible future; one without her parents or sisters.

"Fea," Sirius said suddenly from behind her, making her jump and clutch her heart. She had been so focused on the cold air that she hadn't realised he'd woken up. "The air coming in is freezing."

Felicity didn't say anything. She wasn't sure she could open her mouth and tell him why she needed the cold or how it felt to her.

His hands came up to her face, caressing it, and she couldn't help it; she started to cry. "Shhhh," Sirius said, pulling Felicity to his chest. "It's all right. I have you. I'm here."

Her eyes were raw and hurting but they still leaked the tears. Her hands were shaking as she clung to Sirius. Felicity could feel him closing the window behind her, cutting off the cold sensation and before she knew it, he'd swept her feet out from underneath her and carried her over to the couch.

Sirius didn't say anything; there wasn't much he could say in this situation. So instead, he held her close and let the tears run their course.

When her breathing became normal, Felicity pulled back to look Sirius in the face. "What am I going to do?" Her voice sounded hoarse from screaming and crying. Felicity barely noticed the wince that Sirius let out.

"You don't have to decide that today, love," was his reply, as she pushed the hair out of her face. It was uncontrollable at this point, going in every direction.

"I don't know what to do, Sirius," the words that had been sitting there all day, suddenly came tumbling out. "I don't know what to do. I don't know where we'll live. I don't know how to comfort Gemma because I barely know how to comfort myself! I don't want to fall asleep and see their faces. God, Sirius, it hurts, everything _hurts_."

"Felicity-"

"Make it stop," she begged, her eyes shimmering.

Sirius was quiet for a moment before pulling her head to his chest. "I don't know how," he whispered, the hurt evident in his voice.

"Fea?" said a voice from the stairs, and immediately Felicity turned to see Gemma standing there.

Felicity tried to wipe the tears away and put on a brave face. "Yeah, Gem?"

Gemma looked tired and weary, like she was about to fall over at any moment. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun, which wasn't her normal look. Her cheeks looked sharp and her eyes were red and puffy. Felicity thought that she had needed her, but she turned to Sirius instead. "Pads," she began slowly, walking over to where the two of them stood. "I want to take Felicity for a walk."

Sirius' eyes widened. "Gem, I don't think-"

"What are you talking about Gemma?" Felicity said, rubbing her hands over her face, trying to figure out what was happening. "I don't want to go for a walk."

"Do you trust me?" Gemma said, coming up and grabbing Felicity's shoulders.

Felicity was taken aback. "What? Of course I do, Gem."

Gemma turned to look back at Sirius. "Please, pads. This would mean the world to her, I know it; to the both of us."

Sirius groaned, his shoulders sagging before he turned and quietly dashed up the boys' staircase.

"Gemma," Felicity said. "Maybe not tonight-"

"Fea," Gemma grabbed her shoulders, making her look Gemma in the eyes. "This is something you need to see. And you need to see it right now."

Felicity was utterly complexed and Gemma's tone had her worried, but she didn't need to wait for long. Just as quickly as he'd disappeared, Sirius came back down the stairs, with James following.

"Gem," James tried to say, but she cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it James." Gemma grabbed an odd looking cloak and a piece of parchment from Sirius' hands.

"I don't think tonight-"

"Tonight is the perfect night," said Gemma curtly, unfolding the cloak while the piece of parchment was under her arm, a piece of her wand sticking out from her pyjama bottoms.

"Felicity-" Sirius started.

"Don't 'Felicity' her," Gemma said, her eyes narrowing at Sirius and her tone becoming hostile. "She's coming with."

"Then I want to come too," said Sirius, standing straight to his full height, towering over Gemma.

"Nice try," she said with a flick of her wrist in Sirius' direction. "Not happening. Now, Felicity come closer." Gemma tugged on Felicity's wrist until they were hip to hip. "I think we'll fit fine, definitely smaller than you four."

"Gemma…." James whined. "I think this is a bad idea."

"Coming from you," she huffed, throwing the cloak over the two girls.

"I still don't get what we're doing," huffed Felicity. She opened her mouth to say something again but then thought better of it. Wasn't going for a walk better than lying in bed crying?

Sirius suddenly tugged on the cloak, pulling it off Gemma and Felicity. "At least tell her what this is."

Gemma sighed, taking the cloak back and throwing it over them again. "It's an invisibility cloak."

Felicity whirled on Gemma. "A what?!"

"Whoever is wearing the cloak is invisible."

"I mean that's usually what invisibility cloak means…." Shrugged James.

Sirius smacked up upside the head, giving him a raised eyebrow look and sounding exasperated. "That's my girl, mate."

"Right, yeah, sorry," James mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. He looked down at his feet for a moment, feeling ashamed.

"Where in the world did you get this cloak, James?" Felicity asked. "How did you keep it secret for so long?"

James grinned, slightly pleased with himself. He started talking to the air 5 inches to Felicity's left. "Only the five of us – well six now – know about it."

"What about Lily? You haven't told her?"

James blushed. "Not yet."

"How do you think we did our best sneaking and pranking throughout the years?" Sirius said, pride showing in the small smile as he stared over Felicity's head

Felicity rolled her eyes while Gemma pulled on Felicity's wrist and led her quietly to the portrait hole. "We're just going to leave them standing there?" she whispered.

Gemma whispered back, "They don't understand." There was sadness back in her voice again, as the weight of why they were sad slipped into Felicity's mind. For a moment while James and Sirius bickered, she had forgotten what had happened that morning.

They walked in silence until the portrait opened and Sirius and James' eyes flickered over to where they were exiting. Felicity almost wanted to run back to the safety of Sirius' arms and stay there, but the tug on her wrist from Gemma pulled her forward.

As they stood in the quietness, Gemma pulled her wand out and unfolded the parchment. "Lumos," she whispered, lighting up the underneath of the cloak. "I'm about to do something so promise you won't freak out and scream. 'Cause then someone will hear us and we'll get into trouble."

Felicity nodded in understanding, clamping her hands over her mouth for good measure.

Gemma sighed before muttering, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Before Felicity's very eyes, ink began to seep into the parchment by magic. It grew until four names were proudly written across the top.

Under her breath, she muttered what she was reading. "Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs… wait, aren't those the stupid nicknames the boys call eachother?"

Gemma nodded. "It's a map," she whispered quietly. " It shows the whole school and everyone in it."

Felicity could hardly believe her eyes, as Gemma unfolded it and pointed to where they were standing, just outside of the common room entrance. On the other side, she could see James slowly climbing the stairs to the boys' dormitory while Sirius paced the common room.

"This is incredible," Felicity breathed as her and Gemma began walking. "Where did they ever find this? How did they get it to bear their names?"

"They _made_ it," implored Gemma, sounding annoyed. Felicity suspected she was bitter that the boys always left her out of the more important goings-on, so she didn't press further.

As the two walked in silence, Felicity stared at the map, hoping that no teachers or prefects would come walking by. As the two reached the 7th floor, Felicity had a hard time not stopping cold in her tracks. "Isn't this…"

"Where the guys held the Halloween party?" Gemma answered, reading Felicity's mind. "Yeah, I came back about a month later, looking for a quiet place and found something… well, I'll let you see for yourself." She slipped out from underneath the cloak, much to Felicity's surprise and started walking back and forth in front of the blank brick wall. On her third pass-by, a door started to form and Gemma quickly motioned for Felicity to come over, slipping the cloak off and throwing it over her arm.

Gemma pulled on the wrought iron door, before grabbing Felicity's hand and slipping them both inside. It was dark, too dark for Felicity's eyes to adjust right away. Having forgotten her own wand, Felicity grabbed Gemma's. "Lumos Maxima," she said calmly, pointing the tip to the ceiling. A large white orb emitted from her wand before rising and glowing brightly, shedding enough light to see their immediate surroundings.

Felicity gasped, not expecting the sheer size of the room that lay before them. It was filled with an assortment of things; from chairs and desks randomly strewn about and piled precariously high, to tapestries, old sofas, and even garden gnomes. "What is this place?"

"I'm not sure what it's called," Gemma said, grabbing Felicity's hand and leading her through the stacks of things. They passed an old bird cage and many old used brooms. "This room has some kind of powerful magic. It can turn into what you need."

"But how did you get it to transform into this? It looks so different from the party."

"I honestly don't know, Fea. I was walking and then thinking about something, I can't even remember what. But I found this…"

Gemma stopped them in front of an old looking mirror. There was dust and many cobwebs covering it. "A mirror?"

Gemma nodded at her words, taking her wand back from Felicity and pointing it at the mirror, giving it a swish before it became clean.

The mirror still looked old, as Gemma stepped away from her place beside Felicity and closer to the mirror. There was writing on it, in a language that Felicity didn't understand. "Erised…"

When Gemma stifled back a sob, Felicity immediately had tears come to her eyes and rushed towards her sister, the cloak and map forgotten on the floor behind them. "Gem? What is it?"

Gemma didn't say anything but shake her head and turn towards Felicity. "Close your eyes," Gemma said softly.

"Gem, I…"

"Do you trust me?" Gemma said, her eyes full of tears.

Felicity's heart gave a wrench and her own eyes filled. "Of course, I do Gemma."

"Close your eyes."

Felicity's eyes flitted closed and Gemma grabbed her hands, moving her directly in front of the mirror before taking a step back. "Alright, open them."

Felicity didn't open them at first; she was too scared. But when she did she fell to her knees, her hands going to her face as her body wracked itself with sobs.

"It can't be," Felicity wailed.

"What do you see?" came Gemma's soft question, as she rubbed her back.

Felicity lifted her head, blinking rapidly until she could see past the tears. It was her family; all of them together sitting and having a picnic at the beach. Her parents were laughing, holding hands as Melody sat between them, playing in the sand. Penelope was sitting on the cloth, a piece of apple in her hand while her eyes lit up at the book in her hand. Vivian and Gemma were both sitting on either side of Felicity, their arms around her shoulders, wearing swimsuits.

Felicity gazed over at Gemma, who was sitting there in her regular clothes before looking back at the mirror to the Gemma who was smiling and half clothed.

They all looked so happy and uninterrupted, that Felicity had a hard time keeping the tears at bay and also tearing her eyes away from the happy scene in front of her.

"What kind of magic is this?" came Felicity's broken voice.

"I don't know," was Gemma's simple reply.

Felicity wasn't sure how long she sat there, staring at their happy faces as they played at the beach, each of them touching her in the mirror, but when she looked at her body; she couldn't feel it.

"What do you see in the mirror, Gem?" asked Felicity, after a long period of silence.

"Christmas," was her simple reply and at once Felicity could picture it. Their family gathered around the tree, a nice fire burning in the back while they passed around presents and laughs.

"Do we have to leave?" Felicity said, glancing at the walls where windows were starting to brighten. She hadn't noticed the windows hours ago, but as the sun slowly began to rise, she could see the bright creeping in.

"I think so. If we're suddenly missing, we might not be able to come back."

Felicity was so filled with sadness that as she stood, it took all of her strength not to turn back and stay. The thought of going back to the common room and dormitory filled her with dread and with each step she took, the reality of the situation came back to her.

Gemma didn't say anything as she threw the cloak overtop of them, not bothering to check the map as they quietly made their way back. The Fat Lady, the portrait that guarded the Gryffindor Common room was surprisingly awake. Before Gemma pulled the cloak off of them, Felicity grabbed her hand.

"Will you take me back again tonight, Gemma?" came Felicity's soft whisper.

Gemma turned to her sister, and pulled her close. "I'll take you back whenever you want, Fea."

After Gemma pulled the cloak off and muttered the password to the Fat Lady, she swung open, muttering, "About time!"

It was quiet when the two girls walked into the common room, but as soon as the portrait swung shut, Felicity noticed a group of people sitting by the dwindling fire, talking quietly.

One of them was Sirius, who stood immediately and came to Felicity. "What's going on?" she asked, noticing that Dumbledore was standing by the window.

"Welcome back," said Dumbledore, his arms opening wide before clasping themselves in front of him. "I hope that your stroll was refreshing." As he walked over to where the girls stood, frozen, he looked over his half-moon spectacles at them.

Felicity couldn't find her voice, but she was glad that Gemma could. "It was, Headmaster, thank you."

"Yes, well, I'd hope so," said a voice to their right, which belonged to Professor McGonagall. She had a stern look on her face of disapproval.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" said Gemma, completely shocked as James' parents came walking towards them from the couch, along with another woman who was wearing fine looking robes.

Mrs. Potter came to Gemma and pulled her into a long hug. "I'm so very sorry about your loss, Gemma, dear." When they broke apart Felicity found herself being pulled into her arms too. "And Felicity, you're both being so very brave."

"What's going on?" asked Gemma, looking around the room, utterly confused. "Are we in trouble?"

"No, dear," said Mr. Potter at the same time that Mrs. Potter said, "Of course not!"

"This is Ms. Conway," said Dumbledore, gesturing to the witch with bright yellow hair.

"Please, call me Kelly," she said, her voice smooth like silk.

"She works with the Ministry," Mr. Potter said.

"Oh god," Felicity sobbed, throwing her head in her hands. "I can't, not yet, I can't!"

"Felicity," soothed Sirius. "It's okay, she comes bearing good news."

"What could be good news in a time like this?" Gemma demanded, her eyes narrowing at Kelly, who seemed like she could only have been a handful of years older than them. "You've come to have us examine the bodies, haven't you?"

"Miss Barnett!" reprimanded Professor McGonagall sternly. "Be reminded to whom you are speaking to!"

"I do have good news, as hard as that is to believe," Kelly said. "Shall we take this to your office, Headmaster?"

"Just spit it out!" said Sirius, as Felicity clung to him, her head buried in his chest.

Kelly sighed. "The Ministry thinks they have identified two of your sisters."

"So it is about the bodies!" Gemma shouted; her voice breaking.

However, Kelly just shook her head. "It is, but they aren't dead; they're alive."


	19. Chapter 18

As soon McGonagall, Felicity and Gemma left and the door closed, Sirius whirled around to James. "What do you think happened?"

"I don't think it was anything good, did we have any traps set this week? I can't remember!" James furiously started flipping through the random pieces of parchment that sat on top of his desk and in his book bag; all of them being pranks that they had thought out.

"We definitely didn't have anything planned this week," Remus muttered, doing the same as James. "I'd remember."

"Well if they aren't blamed for one of our pranks, why would McGonagall take them out of class?" Peter mused, looking between all the boys.

"Pete, we don't even know what happened," James said as he tried to calm himself down. If Gemma was blamed for one of their pranks again, they'd all be in trouble. She would take the blame of course, but her repercussions would be disastrous; last time she had threatened to shave all their hair off. "It could be nothing for all we know."

"Let's think about this rationally," Remus said. "They were taken out of class but we don't even know where they were going. It could be about their schedules. It could be about tutoring each other; I know Felicity has been having a hard time in this class."

Sirius suddenly perked up. "She has? She hasn't mentioned anything to me."

"That's because she didn't want you to know," Lily said, coming to stand next to where Sirius was sitting. "How is Gemma in this class?"

"She's pretty good," James admitted. "Although don't tell her I told you that!"

"You think it's nothing?" asked Remus to Lily.

"I think so," Lily said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "It makes perfect sense if Gemma was to be tutoring Fea. Why? Did you think it was something bad?"

"No," said Sirius with a smirk, hiding the true despair that was stuck in his throat. "Tutoring sounds like a perfectly good explanation. We knew it couldn't have been anything bad."

And so, Sirius sat for the remainder of the class, which felt like hours to him, and wrote out all of the important information from the textbook so Felicity would have an easier time writing her essay. He felt proud and confident of what he'd done, which was much more than James had completed. Transfiguration had always come easily to him so he knew just what to copy and what to leave out.

When the door opened Sirius jumped at the noise, a smile rising to his face, but when he noticed McGonagall was by herself, his heart dropped.

Where was Felicity?

"That'll be all for today class. I'd like those essays handed in by the end of the week, no exceptions!" McGonagall strode to the front of the class and began shuffling odd papers here and there before sharply turning to Lily.

Lily stood, obviously waiting for McGonagall to say something, but the woman, who was never shy to speak her mind or say what needed to be said, was coming up short.

Sirius noticed immediately that something was wrong. He could feel it inside his body, in his core that something horrible had gone wrong. It was evident in the way McGonagall was standing, her hands wringing together.

What could it be?

Confidently he strode up to McGonagall, ignoring James as he called his name.

"Where is she?" he pressed. "What happened?"

McGonagall's eyes seemed to soften when they turned to Sirius before looking behind him at the other boys who were walking towards them. "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, I think it'd be best if you headed back to the common room."

The five students were frozen in place at her words. It was odd that she would be sending them back to the common room when she knew they had Charms after Transfiguration. However after a moment, Remus pulled Peter out of the classroom, leaving the four of them in silence.

"Please, Professor," Lily urged. "Has something bad happened?"

McGonagall did something that none of them had ever seen her do, and leaned on her desk, her hand running over her face. "There was an attack last night on a few muggle towns."

As she spoke, Sirius felt like he was going to be sick. Chills ran themselves up and down his body and he could physically feel himself paling.

"What?" James asked, astonished. "What do you mean there was an attack?"

Sirius didn't stick around to hear anything else as he quickly slung his book bag on his shoulder and sprinted out of the classroom. He heard James closely behind him and Lily muttering words to McGonagall before following.

 _Shit_ , Sirius thought, thinking back to the conversation he'd had with Regulus a few months ago.

' _If you really like her as everyone is saying,'_ Regulus had said, ' _then you'll watch over her; keep her safe. Things are getting worse out there. Nowhere is safe anymore, not from them.'_

"Sirius!" James grabbed Sirius' sleeve, bringing the three of them to a halt. "What the bloody hell is going on."

But Sirius didn't say anything but shake his head. They were close to the portrait hole, only a corridor away, so as they finished walking at a brisk pace, Sirius mustered up the courage to tell them.

"Regulus," he said. "We spoke a few months back – just about stupid things like him leaving home. But as I went to leave, he…"

"He didn't threaten you, did he?" Lily asked, astonished.

"No," Sirius said, sighing. "He warned me. He said something about keeping Felicity safe. Said that things were getting worse out there and that…"

James paled at Sirius' words. "You think he was trying to warn you?"

"James," said Sirius, his voice breaking slightly. "If something did happen and I didn't say anything about it, it will have been _all my fault_."

"Stop thinking like that," Lily said with a sigh. "It would have been an attack that none of us could have prevented. What do you think you could have done?"

"Anything," Sirius said meekly. He was in such a state of mind that he ran his fingers through his hair, slightly pulling some of them out. The thoughts that were running through his mind started with him telling Felicity it was his fault and ending with her looking at him with a look of horror, disbelief and disgust.

When the portrait hole opened, Sirius wasn't ready for what was happening. There, in front of the couches, stood Felicity with her wand pointed at Peter's face. "Do I make myself clear or do I need to spell it out so your imbecile brain can understand?" Her voice was hard and sharp, nothing like how she usually spoke.

Sirius sprang into action, dashing across the common room. "Hey, hey!" he said, pushing down the arm that held her wand in Peter's face. She didn't resist, so he placed himself in front of her. Her eyes never left Peter as he cowered behind Sirius. He dreaded asking anything, but did anyways, fighting back the urge to turn and run. "What happened, what's wrong?"

"Completely mental," Peter muttered from behind Sirius.

Sirius would have turned and dealt with Peter himself if Felicity hadn't beat him to it. She quickly lunged for him, slightly dodging Sirius as she tried to get around him. Luckily enough, having played Quidditch most of his life, Sirius was quick. He grabbed her around the waist, holding her to him.

"You son of a bitch!" she screamed as she struggled. "I'll murder you with my own two hands! How dare you say that to me! How dare you say that in front of Gemma, your friend!"

Sirius felt a small bit of relief wash through him as James stepped in front of Felicity, blocking her from seeing Peter.

"Felicity, calm down!" James said, Lily following his lead. "Tell us what happened!"

"They're dead!" Felicity roared, making Sirius' blood run cold. "They're all dead!" She was sobbing as Sirius held her from behind, James and Lily standing there in shock. "You stand there," she screamed at Peter, "thinking that you're all high and mighty while my whole family was murdered! How dare you!"

Sirius felt immense guilt wash over him. It was his fault, all of it. He was glad that James was able to take control of the situation for Sirius' mouth felt glued shut.

"Pete," said James very calmly, "maybe you should take a walk."

"No!" Felicity screamed. "Let go of me!" She struggled against Sirius as Peter took his leave and scurried out of the portrait hole, looking ashamed. "You're a monster! Come back here, you coward!"

"They're gone," she wailed, all of her resolve breaking. Felicity slumped against Sirius as he held her.

The common room was empty except for the six of them, quiet except for Felicity's sobbing. Gemma was clutching Remus, her head buried in her hands as he held her shaking form. Lily was standing with her hand covering her mouth, silent tears leaking down her face while James stood not knowing what to do or how to react, staring at his toes.

"Love," Sirius said, finally finding his voice, "tell me what happened."

Felicity shook her head as she sobbed. "I…"

"Dumbledore said it was Death Eaters," Gemma spoke softly as she clung to Remus, who held her tightly. "They came early in the morning and killed families, set fire to their houses. Some families didn't make it…" Her voice broke as she tried keeping it together but failed.

"I… can't," sobbed Felicity, effectively breaking Sirius' heart. How could he ever tell her now? That it was his fault that her family was murdered?

"Breathe, Felicity, breathe," soothed Sirius, as he rubbed her arms, not knowing what to do or say.

Gemma was suddenly in front of them, both of her hands going to Felicity's face. "Fea, you have to calm down!"

"I…. gone…. dead… never…." Felicity sobbed as she tried to catch her breath, failing. Felicity pulled away from Sirius as she clung to Gemma.

"We're all here," Gemma said, speaking softly. We'll get through this."

Sirius felt agony as he stood, unable to comfort Felicity or Gemma. His world was crumbling around him as Felicity desperately tried to keep hers together.

James came over and squeezed his shoulder, giving him a look of pity. "It's not your fault, mate," James whispered to Sirius, so only he could hear.

But Sirius knew deep down that it was. How could he ever begin to explain to Felicity what had happened? How could he comfort her with the knowledge that he had? He looked at James, desperation in his eyes but he was only met with sadness in James'.

* * *

The rest of the day was a blur to Sirius. Somehow he ended up on the couch, next to Felicity. He'd tried to get her to go down to dinner, but she'd just sat watching the fire. Lily and Marlene, who had showed up after classes, had taken Gemma upstairs sometime after dinner.

It wasn't until Sirius felt suddenly cold that he woke up with a start. He immediately looked for Felicity, whom he realised wasn't on the couch but at the window.

He walked over to her, but when she didn't move, he decided to say something. "Fea," she turned with a jump at his voice. "The air coming in is freezing."

She didn't say anything, but just stared at him, her eyes wide and full of despair.

Not knowing what to do, Sirius brought his hands up to her face, caressing it. When she started to cry again, Sirius felt his heart break in two. "Shhhh," he pleaded. "It's all right. I have you. I'm here."

Felicity's hands grabbed Sirius' shirt as she clung to him. His arms went around her instinctively, pulling her towards him. He reached and closed the window, his body getting cold. Not knowing what else to do, he scooped up her body and carried her to the couch, sitting her on the couch beside him. Sirius didn't know what to say or do, he'd never been in this type of situation before; he'd never had to comfort someone over a death in the family, let alone someone who he cared deeply for.

Maybe even loved?

After a couple minutes, Felicity spoke. "What am I going to do?" Her voice sounded hoarse from screaming and crying and Sirius winced at the sound.

He said the first thing that came to mind. "You don't have to decide that today, love." He pushed a few pieces of hair away from her face, so he was able to see her clearly. He loved doing that; it was such an overlooked gesture but when he did it, Sirius felt connected to her on another level.

"I don't know what to do, Sirius," her words all came out in a rush. "I don't know what to do. I don't know where we'll live. I don't know how to comfort Gemma because I barely know how to comfort myself! I don't want to fall asleep and see their faces. God, Sirius, it hurts, everything hurts."

"Felicity-"

"Make it stop," she begged, her eyes shimmering.

If Sirius could feel worse, he would have. It was as if someone came up to him at his lowest point, taking his heart that was already broken in two and stamping on it, breaking it into a million pieces. He was scared to tell her about everything that he knew, that he could have done something, but didn't. So instead, he took the easy way out as he panicked. "I don't know how," he whispered, the hurt evident in his voice, even in his own ears.

"Fea?" said a voice from the stairs. Sirius' head snapped up to see Gemma standing at the bottom of the girl's staircase. Marlene had suggested earlier that she go and lay down to try and sleep, but he could see from the rings under her eyes that she hadn't.

Felicity wiped frantically at her tears as she tried to smile, making a grimace instead. "Yeah, Gem?"

Sirius could see Gemma's eyes flitter over Felicity before landing on himself. "Pads," she said slowly. "I want to take Felicity for a walk."

At her words, a large siren went off in the back of Sirius' head. Going for a walk, at this time, meant she wanted the invisibility cloak and the map. Plus, she wanted to take Felicity, which screamed bad idea to him. "Gem, I don't think-"

"What are you talking about Gemma? I don't want to go for a walk." Felicity said.

"Do you trust me?" Gemma asked, grabbing Felicity's shoulders.

Sirius felt lost. A surge of panic was spreading through him.

Felicity was taken aback. "What? Of course I do, Gem."

Gemma turned to look back at Sirius. "Please, pads. This would mean the world to her, I know it; to the both of us."

Sirius groaned. His mind was toying back and forth with the idea before he turned and dashed up the stairs to the dormitory that he shared with the other Marauders. He came crashing through the door, stopping short as he stared at James in desperation.

"No," said James, standing. "It's definitely a bad idea."

For a moment, Sirius wanted to laugh. How was it that someone who wasn't the same flesh and blood could read your mind, emotions, and body language so easily?

"It's Gemma," Sirius said, grabbing the cloak and the map from under James' clothes that had been stuffed into his trunk. "I owe them this much, James…."

James grabbed Sirius' shoulders while Remus looked on in agony. Peter had come back earlier and immediately closed the hangings around his four poster bed, not speaking a word. In a sense, Sirius felt that Peter knew how badly he'd messed up.

"You don't owe them anything mate, this wasn't your fault," reasoned James. "This was the work of Death Eaters…"

Sirius shook his head, turning away from James and bounding down the stairs. He knew what he'd done, much like Peter. He could have prevented this and he'd done nothing. He heard someone following behind him and he descended, knowing full well from his breathing that it was James.

When they re-entered, they stood in front of the girls, who hadn't moved.

"Gem," James tried to say, but she cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it James." Without a thought, Gemma snatched the cloak and parchment from Sirius' hands. He let them go willingly.

"I don't think tonight-" James tried again before Gemma cut him off again.

"Tonight is the perfect night."

"Felicity-" Sirius started, trying to reason with her, but when the blonde haired girl turned to him he couldn't finish his sentence. Her eyes were full of sadness and sorrow and he was one of the reasons why she felt that way.

"Don't 'Felicity' her," Gemma said, her eyes narrowing at Sirius and her tone becoming hostile. "She's coming with."

"Then I want to come too," Sirius demanded, taking a step towards Gemma as he towered over her, trying to show dominance.

"Nice try," she said with a flick of her wrist in Sirius' direction, causing him to take his step back as to not get flicked. "Not happening. Now, Felicity come closer." Gemma tugged on Felicity's wrist until they were hip to hip. "I think we'll fit fine, definitely smaller than you four."

"Gemma…." James whined. "I think this is a bad idea."

"Coming from you," she huffed, throwing the cloak over the two girls. Instantly they were invisible.

"I still don't get what we're doing," came Felicity's voice.

Sirius suddenly tugged on the cloak, pulling it off Gemma and Felicity. "At least tell her what this is." He made a motion to the fabric in his hands as Gemma shot him a dirty look.

Gemma sighed, taking the cloak back and throwing it over them again. "It's an invisibility cloak."

"A what?!" came Felicity's startled reply.

"Whoever is wearing the cloak is invisible." Said Gemma.

"I mean that's usually what invisibility cloak means…." Shrugged James, looking angry and hurt.

Sirius smacked up upside the head, giving him a raised eyebrow look and sounding exasperated. No way was he to talk about Felicity like that, not ever and especially not now. "That's my girl, mate." Sirius' tone was exasperated.

"Right, yeah, sorry," James mumbled, rubbing the back of his head, looking ashamed.

"Where in the world did you get this cloak, James?" Felicity asked. "How did you keep it secret for so long?"

James grinned, slightly pleased with himself. He started talking in the direction that he believed the girls to be. "Only the five of us – well six now – know about it."

"What about Lily? You haven't told her?"

James blushed. "Not yet."

"How do you think we did our best sneaking and pranking throughout the years?" Sirius said, he couldn't help but let the pride slip into his voice as a small smile tugged on his lips.

"I'd like to take full credit, thank you very much," James said. "It was, after all, my idea."

"Don't believe him, Fea," said Sirius. "I'm positive it was my idea."

The both stopped talking when the portrait door swung open and closed. They stayed standing there, staring at the door for a moment.

"You should come up to bed, mate," James said.

"You don't think they'll be back soon?" Sirius said, still looking at the portrait hole.

"No. If they're going where I think they're going, they won't be back for hours."

Sirius sighed. "I'll stay down here."

"Sirius, mate…."

Sirius turned to James. There was the obvious concern in his eyes as he stared back. "I know, mate. I know."

James paused before speaking.

"You love her, don't you?"

After he said the words, Sirius felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. There was a silence as the two of them stared at eachother, neither saying anything.

His mind was going wild. Memories of himself and Felicity floated through his mind.

"I think I do, mate."

James nodded, patted Sirius on the shoulder and then trudged up the stairs.

When the common room was quiet again, Sirius felt alone. Without Felicity there, he felt as if something was missing.

* * *

 **Hello all! It's been awhile and although this doesn't really answer any questions just yet, I hope you liked the chapter.**

 **Interestingly enough, I planned the whole story around the death of her parents, but when you get to these chapters I find they are always the hardest to write.**

 **Thank you all for your patience, hopefully you won't have to wait so long until the next update. A special thanks to** _siriuslykelly_ **for always keeping me entertained with your reviews (I always watch out for them!) and to** _NessieBooEvans_ **who gave me a nudge and told me it had been awhile since an update (time always flies when you're having trouble writing).**

 **Until next time**

 **xoxo**


	20. Chapter 19

"Sirius?" said a voice, gathering his attention.

He looked up to see Lily, her fiery hair in a tight bun atop her head. Just like Felicity used to wear. Lately, she'd taken to wearing it down. He had secretly liked to think it was because she enjoyed when he tucked it behind her ear…

"Sorry, what did you say?" he asked quickly.

Lily shot a worrying look to James before handing him a piece of parchment. "She sent a letter."

Sirius didn't need to know who she was, because deep down he already knew. "When?"

"Just now," said Lily, looking down. After a moment, when she didn't make eye contact, Sirius thought she looked guilty.

Sirius glanced around and noticed that somehow he had made it to the Great Hall and it was breakfast time. How long had he been out of it?

It had been over a week since Felicity and Gemma had left and the letter he was holding tightly in his hands was the first communication that they had sent. That she had sent.

They had left, swiftly with the Potters and the Ministry witch, whose name he couldn't think of for the life of him. Sirius had tried to remember, to send her a letter, but he couldn't. He had tried to get a word in, but the Potters had only patted him on the shoulder quickly before following the others out, leaving the students and Professor McGonagall standing quietly in the common room.

"Do they know which sisters survived?" James asked McGonagall, breaking the silence.

"I'm unsure, Mr. Potter. I'm in the dark just as much as you are." With nothing more to say, she left, leaving behind 5 very curious students.

James rubbed his eyes. "I'm not sure if this makes things better or worse."

"This was Felicity's worst nightmare," Lily said, sitting on the couch and putting her head in her hands.

"I think it's everyone's worst nightmare," said Remus quietly. "No one wants to lose their family."

"But at least they've gotten some back?" squeaked Peter, unsure if he should say something.

"Two survivors doesn't make the loss any better," said Sirius, still staring at the door. "They still lost their parents and a sister. Just because two survived doesn't make the grief go away."

He felt lonely with Felicity gone, not even seconds after she had left. She hadn't said goodbye; she hadn't even glanced his way before leaving, making Sirius feel like he had been a ghost standing there. Someone who wasn't important.

"Are you going to come to bed, mate?" James asked. When Sirius turned, he saw that the common room was empty again.

"No," he said, rubbing at his eyes.

"You might as well get some sleep before we have to be to class in a couple hours."

Sirius just shook his head. "I'll sleep here. I want to be here in case they come back."

But Sirius didn't know he'd be kept waiting.

That first day he didn't go to any classes. Instead, he waited in the common room, drifting in and out of sleep as he waited for the two girls to return. By supper, when he hadn't heard anything, he sent a quick letter asking what was going on and that he hoped everything was all right.

The second day, in between classes he rushed to the dormitory with a worried looking Lily in tow to see if they had come back. By the fourth or fifth class, when Lily refused, he started to assume the worst. What if something had happened? He felt as if he should have been with Felicity; there at her side while she went through the worst part of her life because Merlin knows he needed someone when his uncle had died. It was better to have someone there than to be alone.

By the third day, he was getting out of control with worry. He spoke to McGonagall first thing in the morning to see if she had heard anything and when she said she hadn't, he sent another letter to Felicity and one to the Potters too for good measure. He knew that if they knew anything they would tell him.

On the fourth day, he received a response from the Potters, which he tore open quickly, only to find the words _'Don't worry, all is well'_ , written in a quick scrawl. Those words didn't make Sirius feel any better, nor did they answer any of the questions that he had asked.

The fifth day, Sirius marched up to Professor Dumbledore after dinner, demanding he know what was going on. But Sirius quickly found out that even Dumbledore was being kept out of the dark. Either that, or he was a professional liar.

Each day he sent a letter to Felicity, getting more and more worried by her lack of response. The letters started out long and by the end were getting shorter. Sirius had his hopes dashed each morning when no letters came for him.

It was now day nine as he held the letter in his hands, his eyes watering so he couldn't make out the words. This was what he had wanted, some kind of note and an answer to his questions as to what had happened. He looked up at James to find his best mate, sitting there uncertain. After blinking a couple of times he looked back down to the note and read it carefully.

 _Lily,_

 _Saw the house, it was completely in shambles. Little was salvageable; we took what we could and left the rest. The funeral is tomorrow. I've asked Dumbledore permission for you and James to come and he's agreed. Afterwards, we'll floo back to Hogwarts. Let him know if you'll come, it would mean the world to us._

There was no signature at the bottom, but he knew whose hand writing that was.

"You should go," Sirius said before standing and grabbing his bag.

"Sirius," James said, but it fell on deaf ears. He walked out of the Great Hall, turned out of sight and wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

* * *

The first day had been the worst.

Felicity and Gemma had arrived at St. Mungos in the early hours of the morning to a quiet ward. There were a couple Aurors and Ministry officials wandering about in silence, as well as Healers in their crisp and pristine uniforms.

Felicity had felt like her whole body was pure adrenaline and anxiety, both mixing together in troubled harmony. Her hand was locked with Gemma's as they followed Kelly, the Potters walking close behind.

Kelly stopped in front of a room, conferring with a female Healer who stood outside one of many doors lining a corridor. They spoke quickly before Kelly turned to Felicity and Gemma.

"This is Healer Yurkew. She is one of the Healers who has been taking care of your sisters."

Healer Yurkew only nodded and offered a small smile. "There is some information that I'll need you to fill out, but would you like to see your sister first?"

Felicity opened her mouth to scream 'YES' but nothing came out. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to explode. No one had been able to tell Felicity or Gemma which of their sisters had survived for the Ministry didn't have any sort of records for them, the Barnett's being muggle born and all.

Healer Yurkew opened the door and Felicity couldn't control her emotions anymore, for laying on a white bed fast asleep was Penelope. She stumbled to the bed, falling to her knees and clutching Penny's hand for dear life. She tried to look at her face but her eyes were so full of tears that she could barely see.

"What's wrong with her? How come she's asleep?" Gemma asked frantically as she stood on the other side of the bed, smoothing hair out of Penny's eyes.

"She is in a medicinal sleep, when we brought her in she was quite hysterical so she was given a sleeping draught so we would be able to examine her and see if she was hurt."

"When will she wake up?" Felicity demanded, knowing that she would want to be there. She tried to keep her voice level but failed.

"A couple hours or so," replied Healer Yurkew. "She came in with minor smoke damage to her lungs, which was resolved. Her left leg had been broken while the right one had been fractured. Both have been reset and are healing perfectly. She had a couple deeper cuts on her face, chest and arms, which we've healed. They should leave minimal scarring."

Felicity sobbed in relief, clinging to her sister, taking in the sight of her. There was no pain on her face, just calmness as she slept.

"How did she break her leg?" demanded Gemma, her eyes wide.

The Healer stood there uncomfortable for a moment before speaking. "We believe that she jumped out of the second story window."

"Oh my god," sobbed Felicity.

"Please, I didn't mean to alarm you," the Healer said quickly before the Potter's jumped in.

"Girls, she is going to be fine," said Mrs. Potter soothingly as she pulled a chair closer for Felicity to sit in.

"The Healers are doing their jobs," Mr. Potter said as he pulled a crying Gemma into a hug. "We're very thankful for all your help." He stated the last bit to Healer Yurkew.

She nodded in understanding and paused for a moment before she continued. "Would you like to see your other sister?"

Felicity and Gemma both looked at each other quickly, taking a moment to breathe and calm down before nodding and following the Healer out of the room.

"We'll be back soon, Penny," Felicity whispered, before leaning down to plant a soft kiss on her sister's cheek.

Healer Yurkew lead them down a hall and turned left before opening another door. Immediately there was a sound of screaming and crying.

As Felicity and Gemma stood in the doorway, clutching each other's hand, they took in the sight of another female Healer, who was having difficulty controlling a screaming Melody.

Felicity took a moment and closed her eyes before turning to Gemma and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Viv-" Gemma sniffled.

"I know," sobbed Felicity.

On the one hand, Felicity felt as though her heart was broken. Vivian would never greet them at home after returning from Hogwarts. She'd never braid their hair, buy them fancy clothes or tell them when they were being a hag. They'd never go to the cinema together again and watch the romantic movies that made Gemma want to hurl. They would never again stay up chatting until the sun began to rise. The hurt of the truth that they'd lost someone closer to them than anyone could ever be was real, but the screaming child in front of them was also a ray of hope. A miracle that came out of a horrible situation.

Felicity and Gemma turned back to Melody, who was now distraught at seeing her sisters and being in some strange Healer's arms. She was kicking her legs and struggling while holding out her arms, her hands opening and closing furiously.

"May we hold her?" Felicity asked, trying to control her emotions.

The Healer holding Melody strode over quickly, thankful to get the screaming child out of her arms. As soon as Melody was in her arms, the child stopped screaming and began to cry softly. Felicity rocked back and forth on her heels, while Gemma brushed hair out of Melody's eyes over her shoulder. In a couple minutes, Melody was quiet.

"Was she hurt when she came in?" Gemma asked, her eyes never leaving Melody.

"Very minor smoke damage," said Healer Yurkew. "There was also a couple scrapes and bruises but nothing else."

Gemma nodded, while Felicity sat in one of the chairs lining the walls. Melody had her face nuzzled into Felicity's neck with her thumb in her mouth. Gemma sat beside, her head resting on Felicity's shoulder while she rubbed Melody's back.

"We'll leave you for a couple moments," said Healer Yurkew, holding the door open for Kelly and the Potters to step out.

"We're going to chat to the Healers and Aurors in the corridor for a moment, okay?" Mr. Potter said.

Both girls nodded and waited for the door to click shut.

"What are we going to do, Gem?"

Gemma sighed but didn't say anything for a moment. Felicity wondered if she was going to say anything, for the silence carried, but finally she spoke.

"We're going to fight for what we want."

That afternoon, as Melody was napping in her room down the hall, Penelope woke up.

Gemma had stepped out to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Potter while Felicity stayed behind. She was sitting in a chair beside the bed and looking out the window, not even realising that her sister was stirring beside her.

"Fea?" came a soft voice, causing Felicity to gasp and her eyes to well up with tears.

"Oh Penny," Felicity said, jumping up and perching herself on the side of the bed. Her hands frantically moved from Penny's face to her arms to her hair. "Are you alright? Does anything hurt?"

"What's going on?" Penny asked, her eyes frantically moving around the room. "Where am I?"

Then and there, Felicity made the decision to not lie to Penelope. If anything, the truth was horrid, but lying would be much worse.

"You're at St. Mungos, it's the wizard hospital."

"Where's mama and papa? Vivian and Gemma? Oh god, is Melody all right?" Penelope started to sit up but winced.

"What's wrong?" Felicity implored, pushing her sister back down. "Where does it hurt? I need you to tell me."

"My head hurts a little," Penelope confessed. "And my leg, my left leg feels funny. Fea, what happened? Where is everyone?"

"Penny I promise I'll tell you everything but I need to make sure you're all right, okay?" Felicity said, her eyes wide. "You need to stay here while I get a Healer and find Gemma."

Penelope nodded, before grabbing Felicity's hand. "Please, Fea, I'm scared. Please tell me what happened."

"I'm going to get a Healer, I'll be right back!"

Felicity frantically located Healer Yurkew and they both came into the room, walking briskly. After a quick exam, Healer Yurkew confidently said that everything was fine. Her leg was healing perfectly still, although she'd have to stay overnight and the grogginess of her head would go away within an hour.

After Healer Yurkew left, Penelope looked at Felicity expectantly. Felicity was sat on the edge of the bed, one of her hands in Penny's while the other smoothed hair out of her face.

"Do you want to wait for Gemma?"

"No, just tell me what happened!"

"What do you remember?" asked Felicity instead. "Tell me what you remember and then I can fill in the rest."

Penelope paused for a moment, closing her eyes and then opening them. "I woke up because there was screaming. People were out in the street and screaming. There were bright lights, green and red and blue. I could hear mama and papa yelling so I went to the hall but when I stepped out there was fire everywhere. Papa yelled at me to stay there but I was closer to Mellie so I went to get her. I wrapped her in a blanket and went back to the hall but everyone was gone and the fire was so hot. I didn't know what to do or where to go so I opened the window…"

Felicity could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes were raw from crying so much. "Did you jump?"

Penelope didn't say anything but nodded.

"Oh Penny," Felicity said, pulling her sister towards her in an embrace. "You were so brave. You're okay, we're going to be okay."

"They're dead aren't they?" sobbed Penelope, her eyes never leaving Felicity's.

Felicity didn't outright say that Penelope's words were true. It was too hard. "You saved Melody, you know. She's down the hall, she's sleeping right now."

"She's okay?"

Felicity pulled her sister to her chest and held her as they both cried. "She is. We'll be okay, I promise. You, Melody, Gemma and I. We're going to figure things out, okay?" Penelope nodded and cried with grief for the parents and sister she couldn't save. And Felicity cried for the sisters she now had, the only family she had left.

The family that she would protect no matter what.

The second day was hard.

Felicity and Gemma had to examine the bodies and confirm that they were in fact the Barnett's. Felicity felt cold and distant as she looked at Vivian, who's skin was as cold as ice. The Aurors said that the bodies had been found on the lawn in front of the house. They figured that they had either escaped and been killed on the spot or dragged out and then killed. Either way, it was hard to hear the details.

When she looked at her mother and father, she felt as if she'd never be happy again. Their faces showed no emotion, which was harder to cope with than anything. She'd never see her mother smile again or her father laugh and she worried that over time she'd forget the small things that she had loved so much about them. The smell of her mother's favourite perfume, which she would only wear on special occasions such as Christmas. The way her father would sneak cookies out of the jar before dinner and distribute one to each of them, on the promise that their mother would never find out.

She'd never have her father walk her down the aisle at her wedding. She'd never have her mother give her advice on children when the time came. She wouldn't get to see them age and get wrinkles. Their lives were cut short and it was an injustice.

There were few possessions found on their bodies. The rings, from her parents. Vivian's locket necklace. The pyjamas that were covered in soot were left behind, only a painful reminder.

The reality of what was happening and had happened hit Felicity on the fourth day.

The Potter's had graciously let them stay. The girls agreed that they'd all prefer to stay in one room and the Potter's didn't object, so there was now one large bed and one crib in the extra guest room. It felt odd, staying in someone else's house. Across the hall from James' room that was empty, for he was still at Hogwarts. But their childhood home was burnt and unlivable, and that was the reality.

It was that day that Felicity and Gemma had to go into London to speak with the muggles about their parents. To the bank, to set up a new account and have the old one closed. They were surprised to find that their parents had left a substantial savings amount, as well as trust funds for each of them. It wouldn't help them live forever but it was a good start for four sisters who had nothing.

The Ministry also had been in contact and granted them a substantial amount for the loss of their murdered family. It was enough to start over and that was the one thing that worried Felicity; she wasn't sure she knew how to start over.

Felicity worried what they would do with Penelope and Melody, would they go to an orphanage? There was absolutely no family left, from her mother or her father's sides. Not even a distant aunt.

On the fifth day the Potters offered their help. Mrs. Potter stated that since she stayed at home anyways that she wouldn't mind looking after Penelope and Melody. It was arranged that the Potter's would keep the children until Felicity and Gemma graduated, at which time they would both take custody of the children. They would sell the cottage and find a suitable home to live in. Something modest that would accommodate the four of them.

It was on the seventh day that Gemma showed her the letters.

They were mostly from Sirius with the occasional one from Lily. She didn't need to open them to know who they were from for she recognized the handwriting. She knew what they would say. They would be filled with concern and questions which she didn't want to answer or think about at the moment. When Felicity tossed them aside into the trunk that the Potters had brought back from Hogwarts for their stay, Gemma didn't say anything.

It was also on the seventh day that Felicity collapsed.

She was standing in the kitchen cutting an apple for Penelope when her vision suddenly started to become dark. Just slowly, around the edges. Felicity tried to shake it off but as it started to get worse, she called out for Gemma and Mrs. Potter. She didn't feel herself fall to the floor or hit her head, she just saw blackness. It matched the feeling in her body and for an amount of time that was unknown to her, she slept. Without nightmares or dreams that made her awake scared, frightened, sad or crying.

Felicity hadn't realised that she had barely slept since her parent's death. Between comforting Penelope and taking care of Melody, she hadn't stopped to think about needing sleep. When she did find the time to sleep, she'd awake with her heart racing and tears in her eyes. The nightmares only seemed to get worse so by the fourth or fifth night, she'd stopped trying.

When she awoke on the eighth day, Mrs. Potter looked at her worriedly while Gemma fussed over her. No amount of 'I'm fine' or 'I'm okay' would get the two to stop so she tried her best to ignore them both. It was easy to shut her mind off and tune everything out, growing up with 4 sisters taught her how to do that easily.

Except now she had 3 sisters and no parents with an empty hole in her chest where her heart should have been. The pain was dreadful, the constant thought that she'd rather be dead herself instead of the people she loved most. The guilt, of why they had died and how it could have been prevented if it were not that she was a witch.

Mrs. Potter made the funeral arrangements on the eighth day and Felicity was thankful that the only thing she needed to do was attend. She didn't know how much more stress her body could take and she was scared.

"You can invite whoever you'd like," Mrs. Potter said. "It'll be a small ceremony, like you wanted. But I think it would be a good idea to have your friends there." She gave Felicity a look of pity. "I've spoken to Dumbledore and he's agreed. Just send a letter to whomever you want and he'll make sure they get here safely."

Felicity thought about it and knew that Lily would want to be there. After conferring with Gemma, they decided to have James come along as well. Felicity didn't mention a word about Sirius and later that evening, Gemma cornered her in the living room.

"How come you haven't written Sirius back?"

She stood, her hair windblown with her fist full of opened letters that were addressed to Felicity.

The house was quiet as it was well past midnight but Felicity couldn't control her emotions. "You opened them?!" she hissed, lunging to snatch them back. Gemma, being quick, dodged her efforts.

"Of course I opened them! He's sent at least ten and Lily has sent at least 5." Gemma's cheeks were red with fury and her hair was sticking up in every direction. Felicity guessed that she had just returned from riding a broom.

"They weren't addressed to you! How dare you!"

"Answer the question!" Gemma raged. "How come you won't tell him!"

"How come you haven't written to Remus?" Felicity demanded. "I know he's written you and I know you've read them!"

Gemma gaped. "How did you-"

"I'm not an idiot," said Felicity hotly. "Contrary to popular belief!"

"Remus and I can't be together," Gemma said with a thickness to her voice. "He's made that perfectly clear! And I respect his wishes."

"Why in the world would he say that?!"

"It's not my secret to tell!"

"Oh stop being a prat-"

"Stop changing the subject! Sirius is in love with you-"

"I know he is!" Felicity said her eyes hard and unflinching.

Gemma stared back with the same ferocity. "Then. Why. Haven't. You. Written. Back!"

"He's not going to be in love with me once I break up with him! I can't simply do that in a letter!"

Gemma laughed. "You're delusional. For the love of Merlin why would you do that?!"

"We have responsibilities now! Two sisters who need to be taken care of! Mrs. Potter can't do that forever! Who do you think is going to look after them while you're gallivanting and playing Quidditch?"

For once, Gemma was speechless. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"Gemma I love you," Felicity said quieter. "But don't pretend to be daft enough to think that things aren't going to be changing drastically. You're smarter than that."

Without another word, Felicity snatched the letters from Gemma's hand and marched up the stairs, hoping that they hadn't been loud enough to wake the others in the house. When she got to their room and the hall was still quiet, she made a quick decision and went further down the hall, opening the door to her right.

As soon as she stepped into his room her nose was assaulted with the smell of him. It was so familiar to her now that it was comforting. The room was dark and she didn't bother turning on the light; she didn't want to. She slid down until she was sitting on the ground, her back to the closed door. She pulled her wand from her pants, where it was poking her comfortably.

"Lumos," she whispered, illuminating the tip of her wand enough so that she could faintly see the outlines of Sirius' room. It was odd, being in here when he wasn't home. It felt like trespassing into someone else's safe space but she knew that she wouldn't go through his things or snoop around. For now, just the thought of him was okay.

She quietly read through the letters, as the tears streamed down her face. Was a heart able to break further after it was already broken?

He begged for a response and she hadn't given one to him yet. She couldn't, it was just too hard. Felicity couldn't talk about what was happening to her sister, to the Potters, to herself. How was she supposed to explain to Sirius?

How was she supposed to go back to Hogwarts and pretend like everything was normal when it obviously wasn't? How could she leave Penelope, who clutched her throughout the night and even during the day, afraid to let her go in case something happened? How could she leave Melody, who was inconsolable in the evening, even with Felicity, for she longed for her mother or fathers touch?

Gemma wasn't fairing as well either. She'd be awake at abnormal hours, go for rides on the spare brooms that the Potters had lying around and not be seen for hours. She knew that Gemma was dealing with the grief the best she could, like Felicity was doing herself.

And so she sat on the floor, what was left of the great Felicity Barnett bleeding out from her in tears until there was nothing left but an empty shell.

On the tenth day she stood in a black dress, one that Mrs. Potter had laid out for her while Gemma clutched one hand and Penelope the other. They watched, together, as the caskets were separately lowered into the ground. With shaking hands, they tossed bouquets of flowers below, last sentiments already said.

With a sniffle, Penelope clutched onto Gemma, her sobbing the only sound in the silent air.

* * *

 **Leave a review with your thoughts or any questions and I'll try to answer them as best I can next chapter. Hope you enjoyed (maybe even spilled a few tears, I know I did while writing this!). Happy Weekend!**

 **xoxo**


	21. Chapter 20

Felicity was still wearing her black dress when the four of them arrived back to Hogwarts. She stepped out into Professor Dumbledore's office, with Professor McGonagall standing beside him. Being the last to floo, she looked around to see Gemma staring out the window with a blank expression on her face while James and Lily made small talk. Not feeling up to anything, she grabbed Gemma's hand, muttered a quiet 'Good Afternoon, Professors' and proceeded to walk out.

She didn't wait to look at their expressions for she didn't want to see the guilt upon their faces. It was bad enough having to see it at the Potters'. The concern, the guilt, the worry. What bothered her the most out of all was pity.

Felicity didn't need pity.

It wasn't until Lily started patting her back that she realised that she and James had followed. "Are you all right?" she asked with an expression of pity on her face that made Felicity's blood boil.

"No, of course I'm not," she said somewhat harshly. She tried to step away gently but when she looked back at Lily, Felicity could tell that she had hurt her feelings. She continued walking anyways. "I'm just tired," was the excuse that came out of her mouth.

"If you're not okay you don't have to sugar-coat it," Gemma said in a monotone voice, giving her a look that she couldn't decipher. "If you're not okay it's fine to say so. No one can know what we're going through. You just don't have to be a bitch about it."

James and Lily froze at Gemma's words but Felicity didn't bat an eye. This is what it had been like the past couple days after Felicity and Gemma had their argument about the letters.

Felicity let her hand drop from Gemma's as the group continued to walk back to the common room. "Fine. Go and ride your broom and calm down until you need a shoulder to cry on. That's what I'm good for, right?"

"I'm sure that's not what she meant," James said quickly.

Gemma didn't confirm nor deny. "I get you're trying to grieve how you can, but shutting everyone out isn't going to help," she said, cutting James off. Her eyes narrowed at her sister. "Why don't you go have a nice chat with Sirius? I'm sure he'd love to talk to you."

Felicity gave her sister a sarcastic smile. "Perfect! What an excellent idea. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. Would you like to watch and give some of your input?"

James and Lily shared a worried looked between the two of them. It was a rare sight to see the two girls fighting and neither Lily nor James had ever heard them talk like this to each other.

"You're such a-" Gemma started to say before she was cut off by a giggle. The group stopped where they were – down some random hallway on the 5th floor – not sure where the noise came from.

And then, emerging from an empty room with a rugged smile on his face was Sirius with a 6th year Hufflepuff dangling on his arm.

It was as if the whole moment passed in slow motion to Felicity. She saw the smile on his face and wondered if he had ever been that happy with her. Her mind was slow to follow her and she faintly wondered what they had been doing before it hit her.

She was frozen in place as Sirius finally realised himself who was standing 30 feet away. He too, stopped dead in his tracks, a look of clear disbelief on his face before he sauntered over. The girl, who Felicity didn't recognize, followed behind him like a lost puppy.

"Funeral went all right?" Sirius said, raising a quirky eyebrow at her.

Felicity was in shock at first. It was obvious that he had moved on and Felicity wasn't sure at the moment how she felt about it or what was even going on.

"Ever figure out which sisters survived? I'm _dying_ to know," he said, his eyes showing the rage even if his voice didn't.

Felicity couldn't help it; she started to laugh.

Maybe it was the way he said what he did or the whole situation that she had found herself in. How had she let it get this bad? Felicity certainly hadn't expected Sirius to act this way or to catch him leaving a room with another girl.

At first it was a small giggle that bubbled its way out of her mouth before turning into a full blown can't-control-myself laugh.

It was certain that Sirius was trying to hurt her but at this point she was a hollow shell that had nothing left to be hurt.

James, Lily and Gemma were completely silent, all of them staring at Felicity, unsure what to do.

When she quieted down, looking away from Sirius' shocked expression, she turned to the Hufflepuff. "What's your name?"

"Jane," she said gazing up at Sirius with a look of pure adoration as if he was to explain the two of them. He didn't return it, choosing to stare at Felicity instead.

Felicity laughed again. "Oh, this is just too much." She clutched her side as the giggles kept returning.

Still laughing, she turned away, walking the opposite way down the hall until there was a hand on her arm, turning her around.

"That's it?" Sirius said, anger in his voice, his grip on her arm threateningly tight.

"Oh, you're right," Felicity said, chuckling, gaining control of her arm again. She leaned around Sirius, waving to Jane. "Goodbye Jane! I hope you don't catch any kind of diseases!" The look on the girl's face was pure shock.

Felicity went to walk away again when Sirius grabbed her again. When he spoke, he sounded full of rage. "Did I mean nothing to you?"

She couldn't help it, Felicity sneered. "That? You're asking me that as you come out with a girl on your arm _the moment I get back from burying my dead family_?"

"It's not what it looks like," was the exasperated reply.

"Famous last words," she sneered, no hint of laughter anymore. "Leave me alone."

"No," Sirius said forcefully. "I deserve an explanation."

"No," said Felicity back just as forcefully. "You deserve nothing."

"What was I to you? A distraction?" He sounded desperate for answers.

Felicity didn't say anything but turn and walk away. To her, Sirius didn't deserve answers; to know what really dwelled in her heart.

There was a moment of silence between them all before Gemma shoved past Lily and James to stand where Sirius was. "No!" she shouted, making Felicity turn around at the sound of her voice. "You get back here and you tell him why."

"Oh shut up already, Gemma." Felicity said harshly, but her sister wasn't backing down.

"Stop being a bloody drama queen and tell him god damn it!" she yelled, before marching over to where Felicity stood. "Or I'll do it for you."

"Mind your own damn business!" shouted Felicity back. "Leave me out of it!"

"Tell him!"

"No!"

"She's bloody in love with you!" Gemma shouted, turning back to Sirius, making Felicity freeze where she stood. Out of all the things that she thought Gemma was going to say, that wasn't one of them.

"What?" James said, looking between everyone who stood there, confused at where the conversation had turned.

Before anyone knew what was happening, Felicity strode over to her sister, turned her and slapped her across the face. The sound was so loud that it echoed off the walls.

"Felicity!" Lily said, aghast, before her and James rushed over to where the two sisters were now grappling.

"She's in love with you Sirius and she won't admit it to anyone but herself," Gemma said with a hurt expression as Lily fussed over her red cheek. "She's worried about-"

"Shut up!" Felicity said as she struggled against James' arms that were around her, holding her back. "Don't lie to him!"

"If she's lying then why are you struggling?" James said in a quiet voice. Felicity ignored him.

"She's completely head over heels for you," Gemma said as she strode over to Sirius, ignoring Felicity's cries to stop as James held her back. "She knew you wrote to her, she read them and she refused to write back. She thought she could take the easy road and not confront her feelings for you."

Sirius stood, his eyes never leaving Felicity. "Why?"

Felicity didn't say anything as she stopped struggling against James. "Why do you even care? You're shagging up with Jane anyways!"

"Tell me why!" He exploded, storming over to where she stood.

"You want to know the horrible truth?" Shouted Felicity, breaking out of James' grasp to come face to face with Sirius. "You want to know the details of how I buried my parents and Vivian? How I feel about it all?

"Oh, it was wonderful to hold Penelope as she slept because she'd have such bad nightmares that she would wake in the night. To comfort her during the day because she'd cry at the guilt of knowing that she survived and they didn't. To know that Melody will grow up without parents because some Death Eaters decided that the street my parents lived on was going to be the one that they destroyed."

She grabbed the front of his robes, bringing his face closer. "You want to know how I feel? I feel guilt. I feel sadness. But mostly I feel pain, because I would give up every single day of the rest of my life for just one more _minute_ with my parents and Viv. I can't close my eyes at night because all I can see are their faces, happy and smiling when in reality they're buried six feet deep. You know why I can't be with you anymore, even though I love you more than anything? Because I have two sisters who are at home waiting for me to come back and take care of them. They're _depending_ on me. And I can't take care of myself, let alone my sisters; or you. And you want to know the worst part? I'd rather _die than face the reality of my life now_." Felicity was breathing heavily by the time she was finished and let go of Sirius' robes, taking a couple steps back. "Is that good enough for you, Gemma? Is that what you wanted me to say?" Her voice started to crack as the angry tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Gemma looked heartbroken. "Go and practice on your broom so you can go get your Quidditch career underway while I go back and try to keep our family from crumbling apart. Because that's all I'm good for, right? A shoulder to cry on?"

"Felicity," sobbed Gemma, stepping towards her sister, but Felicity just started to walk away.

No one said a word and she was thankful. She couldn't handle the stares and she couldn't handle the whispers so she went to the one place where it would be quiet; the Library.

Hours later, that was where Remus found her. She was sitting at a table in the back of the Library, her arm laid out while her head rested on it. There was a large book in front of her that wasn't open, while she stared out the window that was closest.

When Remus approached, her eyes were glass orbs empty of emotion. He didn't say anything but merely sat next to her and opened his Potions book to begin his essay that was due next week.

The scratching of the quill was almost therapeutic to Felicity and after an hour or so of silence, she turned towards him, practically making him jump.

"Sorry," she said in a small voice. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's all right," said Remus, smoothing out his parchment. He didn't say anything further, but continued writing and referencing from his textbook.

Felicity closed her eyes and imagined that she was at the cottage. It didn't last long and only made her sadder so when she opened her eyes, she focused on Remus.

She watched the way he'd flick the ever-growing hair out of his eyes as he wrote. The slight frown he'd get when re-reading something he had wrote. His hand would move across the parchment effortlessly, dipping the quill into his ink before beginning again. Felicity wasn't sure how long she watched him before she spoke.

"She loves you, you know."

Remus hesitated for a moment before looking up. "I know."

"She said that you'd never be able to be together."

"She is correct," was his simple reply.

"Why won't you let yourself be happy?"

Remus looked down as he spun the quill between his fingers. "She deserves someone who can give her the world and I am not that person."

"How do you know?"

Remus folded his hands, his quill forgotten. "She hasn't told you? Sirius hasn't told you?"

"Obviously not otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation."

A smile cracked on his face for a moment, making him chuckle. "Perhaps this isn't the best time."

"When would be a better time for you?" Felicity said.

Remus smirked. "Are you going to continue being this persistent?"

"Perhaps."

He focused his eyes on the parchment as he spoke. "I have a condition."

"What kind of condition?" Felicity said, propping her head upon her palm while her elbow rested on the table. It was a relief to talk about anything that wasn't her dead family, her sisters, or Sirius.

There was a silence that stretched so long that Felicity was worried he wasn't going to speak again. She wouldn't have blamed him; she didn't very much want to talk about her problems so she wasn't about to make Remus talk about his.

"I'm a werewolf," he said, still as a statue.

Felicity took a moment to process the information. "And?"

Remus flinched at her words. "And I can harm people."

"Have you?" she asked, curious.

"Not yet."

"So then what's the problem? Do you love Gemma?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

"Obviously Gemma doesn't think less of you, because she's mad about you. Why are you depriving yourself of affection? You're human. People need love and affection in their lives."

"I could be asking you the same thing," Remus said, looking up from his papers to stare into Felicity's eyes.

"I can't."

"Don't you love him?"

Felicity closed her eyes. "What would happen if Sirius and I kept going on? We'd stay together until graduation, and then what? He wants to be an Auror and I want to keep what's left of my family together. I can't expect him to stay and help out, because I know he doesn't want to. Did you know he doesn't want children? He told me that once. And here I am, nearly 17 with two that need to be taken care of. We're too young to be expected to make life altering decisions yet my life seems to be full of them. He should know as well as I that things don't always work out the way you need them to. Or want them to."

When she opened her eyes, Remus was brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "Everything is different now. It doesn't matter how I feel. It matters how Penelope and Melody feel. They are my world and I can't let myself get distracted any longer. I don't get to have a career and frankly I don't want one, because my future is those girls. And I would die rather than see them unhappy for even a moment.

"But Gemma? She needs someone. She's not faring well. She has trouble sleeping and doesn't remember to eat. She needs to focus on Quidditch because she's one in a million and she's wanted this for so long. And I can't take care of her, not like you can. She needs you right now, even if it's just for a little bit, until she can get back on her feet. Gemma's angry and moody, untrusting of the world. She needs you, Remus."

"And what of you?" was his soft reply.

"What about me?"

"You're obviously not faring well."

"Ah," said Felicity. "I assume you heard about what happened earlier."

"I did."

"Merely a moment of weakness," Felicity said softly.

Remus shook his head as he gathered up his things. "He's in love with you, you know."

Felicity closed her eyes, a look of pain on her face. "Don't say that."

"Jane is the girl he's tutoring in Potions."

Felicity didn't say anything but bury her head in her hands.

"When you left, he didn't know what to do with himself. He dragged Lily to the tower after every class to see if you were back. He bugged McGonagall for information, even bombarded Dumbledore after dinner one evening. He's been in a rut since you left and you didn't write him back. When you sent that letter, I'd never seen him so distraught. You need to talk to him Fea."

"I can't," she said, stifling a quiet sob. "I can't be that for him anymore."

"Why are you depriving yourself of love?"

Felicity looked up. "I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to be dead."

Remus sighed, swinging his book bag onto his shoulder. "As much as we mourn the dead, there's nothing that can bring them back. Eventually, we have to move on and enjoy what we still have, because we never know when it will be taken from us."

He didn't say anything else, for he didn't need to, and took his leave.

* * *

Remus took his usual seat beside Gemma in the Great Hall for dinner. Felicity never showed up but he hadn't thought that she would. Instead, he watched Gemma move her food around her plate, only eating a couple of bites.

"You should eat," he said, nudging her gently.

"I'm not hungry," was her reply, her eyes never leaving her plate.

"Are you still angry about your row with Felicity?"

Gemma sighed. "No."

"But you're upset," said Remus. Gemma nodded but didn't say anything, instead choosing to lay her head on his shoulder.

"How did your chat with Felicity go?" James asked, bringing Remus' attention to the other people surrounding him at the table.

He shrugged, not wanting to say anything too concrete with Sirius sitting to his right. "She's not faring well."

"She's obviously hurting," Lily interjected. "I think we ought to do something."

"Felicity probably doesn't want you to do something," Sirius said, making the rest of them go quiet. "Let her grieve."

"She needs a support system-"

"How do you know what she needs?" Sirius bit back, making everyone go silent. He shoved his food around his plate angrily.

"I think Sirius is right, Lils," James said, rubbing her arm. "Felicity needs time to cope with what's happened. She'll come 'round in her own time."

* * *

The common room was quiet, as she suspected it would be. Everyone was down to dinner so now was the perfect chance. She'd gotten the idea down in the library and she hadn't stopped to think about the consequences. She'd convinced herself that she didn't care.

She trotted lightly up the steps to the 7th year boy's dormitory. Opening the door slightly to make sure no one was in there, before closing it shut firmly behind her.

Unsure where they kept anything, she opened James' trunk to see the two things she needed sitting right at the top. Without a thought, she grabbed the cloak, flinging it over herself before snatching the map as well, letting herself out with only the faintest 'click' to be heard.

Opening the map, she tapped it with her wand and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Heart beating fast, she descended the stairs and went out the common room door.

She didn't know exactly what she was looking for. But then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted people coming back from dinner.

Felicity panicked, forgetting she was underneath the cloak. When two first years breezed past her without so much as a glance, she let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding and trekked onwards.

"Hogsmeade, how in the bloody hell do I get to Hogsmeade," she said, a plan forming in her head.

Suddenly, as she stood there, quite still, her footsteps on the map started to move. Without a thought, she followed them.

Before long, she was standing in front of a statue. "Oh bloody hell, now what," she said, looking down at the map.

 _Use your wand_ said the faintest of writing beside where her footsteps were.

Huh? Felicity thought, unsure what to do.

It took 15 minutes for her to understand that she was supposed to poke the eye. As the statue moved, she glanced around, thrilled that there was no one else around.

She slid, and began trekking.

Felicity knew she reached the end when she tripped and smacked her head. There was a thud as her forehead throbbed. She let out a faint whimper, kicking herself for not lighting her wand. Perhaps if she was smarter or more focused, she would have.

She had landed on stairs and began to climb them, her wand lighting itself so she could see where she was going, finally.

When she saw the trap door above her head she paused. Was she really going to do this? Sneak into Hogsmeade, without a solid plan? Before she could convince herself to go back, she slowly lifted the door, having slight trouble at the weight of it.

She stopped when it made the faintest of noises, waiting to see if someone had heard.

When she pulled herself up, she realised she was in the basement of Honeydukes. Sliding what she now realised was a concrete block back into place, she checked herself to make sure that no part was out of the invisibility cloak.

The Three Broomsticks was practically empty when she stepped inside, cloak taken off as soon as she cleared the alley behind Honeydukes. Only a couple patrons were sitting at tables, far enough away from each other that they were having quiet conversations.

Rosmerta looked up from where she was wiping down the bar to see Felicity approach. She tried in vain to hide her panic as she kept her nose high.

"Ah dear, you'd best not be from Hogwarts," Rosmerta said.

"Sirius sent me," said Felicity casually.

"Oh yes, you're that bird that he was with a couple months ago!"

Felicity blushed. "Yes, that was me."

"I assume he's using you as his alcohol mule?"

"Does he do that often? Send someone else to get the alcohol?" Felicity inquired, quite interested.

"Usually it's one of the boys – you know, the scruffy one."

"They're all scruffy to me," joked Felicity, some of the pressure starting to ease.

"What did he say he needed?" asked Rosmerta, as she filled a couple glasses of butterbeer for the patrons waving her down.

Felicity paused. "One of each, I think it was." Her statement came out as a question as she was unsure.

Rosmerta raised her eyebrow. "Small party then I take it."

Felicity didn't say anything but nod.

"Alright," sighed Rosmerta, handing Felicity a bag with two clinking bottles inside. "That'll be a sickle and two knuts."

"He didn't send me with any money," Felicity said sadly, a look of panic on her face.

"That boy!" roared Rosmerta, shaking her head. "Tell him, he owes me next time." She wagged her finger in front of Felicity's face for good measure, before booting her out through the front door.

Letting out a breath, Felicity looked around to see if anyone had noticed her, but the streets were empty. She knew that the short cut through the cellar was quicker, but it had been hard enough getting out without anyone noticing that she thought she'd better not chance it. So instead, she threw the cloak on, clutched the bag full of alcohol in one hand while her wand and the map were in the other and started for the road that led back to Hogwarts.

* * *

It was late as they sat around the fire place. Peter and James were playing a game of exploding snap as Gemma watched cautiously. When there was a bang, James and Peter jumped at the noise while Gemma sat staring straight ahead, unflinching.

Remus and Lily were comparing assignments at a table nearby while Sirius sat on the couch, staring into the fire; they had all been this way since dinner.

When Gemma sat beside Sirius, he didn't say anything. She tucked her feet underneath her and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about what happened today."

For a moment before responding, Sirius closed his eyes and imagined that Felicity was beside him, craving his presence. But Gemma didn't smell like Felicity so after a while, the charade faded.

"It's okay. I'm glad I know the truth now."

"She's broken inside," Gemma said, her voice oddly monotone. "I don't know how to fix her."

"Only she really knows," replied Sirius with a sigh.

"Do you think she'll ever be the same?"

"I don't think so," was his soft reply.

"I'm sorry," Gemma said just as softly. "I know she meant a great deal to you. She does to me too."

"Are you afraid she won't forgive you for what you did? It was the right thing to do."

"I'm afraid she's beyond fixing. That she'll always be that way; mean and hard."

The common room was silent except for the cackling fire, the sound of quills scratching parchment and the occasional bang. Everyone else had gone to bed except their rag tag group and it wasn't long until Marlene came stumbling through the portrait hole.

"Had a good time then, Marlene?" Lily said, a smirk coming to her face.

"Only the _best_ ," she said, before stumbling up the stairs, giggling.

"That girl is going to get caught sooner or later," Lily said before going back to her assignment.

"It's nearly midnight, d'you reckon we should check to see where she is?" James asked, his voice breaking the silence. Everyone knew who they were talking about because Felicity was the only one left unaccounted for.

"Is it really that late?" Remus said, glancing out the window. "I hadn't realised. James, go check."

As James ran up the stairs, Sirius was interested in Lily's lack of questions. "He's told you, hasn't he?"

Lily smirked, putting her quill down. "He's horrible at keeping secrets from me. All I have to do is ask and he tells."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Bloody git."

Gemma chuckled. "I'm sure she would have figured it out sooner or later. No sense in keeping secrets."

When James came down the stairs, two at a time, and without the map, Sirius' stomach dropped. Immediately he was alert. "Well?"

"It's gone-" huffed James. "The map, the cloak, they're gone!"

"What cloak?" asked Lily, her eyes furrowing, but James ignored her for the moment, too surprised and uncertain.

Remus sniggered. "Are you sure you searched everywhere?"

"I left them in my trunk," James said. "Right on top. I doubled checked when we got back this morning to make sure they were still there. Unless any of you have used them, they should still be there."

* * *

Out of all the teachers, Felicity was sure that McGonagall had the firmest grip.

Although she could barely feel her arm for the amount of alcohol she had consumed, she was sure that she would have a bruise. You could even have called it intuition.

"Intuition," Felicity giggled. "What a funny word."

McGonagall sighed as they reached the statue of the gargoyle. "Miss Barnett-"

"Miss Barnett," mimicked Felicity before snickering. McGonagall didn't say anything else but wear a stern frown.

The stairs were a challenge for Felicity but somehow she managed. When they reached the door to Dumbledore's office, Felicity went to knock before the door swung open.

"Ah, Minerva," said Professor Dumbledore from behind his desk. "Whatever is the matter?"

As they stepped inside, Felicity made a beeline for the window. When she looked down, the grounds were all dark but the moon glistened in the reflection of the lake.

"Ah yes, I can see," came Dumbledore's voice through Felicity's brain.

"Can you?" Felicity asked. "Because I really can't see much."

"Miss Barnett," McGonagall said, grabbing Felicity's arm. "Please take a seat."

"Well if you insist," Felicity said, nearly tripping over her feet as she made her way to the chair. She noticed the cloak and map on Dumbledore's desk as well as her bottles of alcohol. "Oh you did gather my things! Minnie, you really are a doll."

"Miss Barnett, do you realise the severity of the situation?" McGonagall asked, absolutely no humour on her face at all.

"Not really," she said giving a shrug. "I honestly don't know how I got here. Can I have my stuff back? It's really such a beautiful night, I'd rather be spending it down by the lake."

"It's nearly _three_ hours past curfew," said McGonagall sternly. "Mr. Filtch informed me of your whereabouts because he could hear you singing."

"Well that's three hours too many. Have you thought about extending it?"

"What are these items, Miss Barnett," Dumbledore asked, gazing down at her.

Felicity paused for a moment? She closed the map, right? "The cloak is James'. The bottles are mine."

"And the parchment?" asked McGonagall. "Mr. Filtch seems to think it's enchanted, for when he went to grab it, you screamed."

"I don't know; I grabbed it from James' trunk." Felicity said, shrugging. "It's probably a prank."

Dumbledore pointed his wand to it and began reading. Felicity's heart began to quicken before he turned back to her. "Mr. Filtch can have the parchment to keep in his office. The cloak can go back to Mr. Potter and the bottles," he gave a flick of his wand, "are to be confiscated."

"But I wasn't finished-"

"What would you do for punishment, Albus?"

"It's not like you can owl my parents," Felicity said in a matter of fact tone. "They're dead."

* * *

In the common room, everyone was talking at once.

"We should check the grounds," suggested Remus.

"The kitchens," Peter said.

"She doesn't know where the kitchens are," Gemma said, her eyes narrowing.

"I think James and I should leave-" Lily said.

"What? So you two can stop and snog a little more?" Sirius said.

"We are Head boy and girl," said James. "It would make sense if we were wandering the halls at night-"

"Not this late," said Remus.

"We need to go find her," Lily reasoned.

"She'll come back on her own," urged Gemma. "She has the cloak and the map! She's invisible and knows where we are, she's not stupid!"

"We need to find her before the professors do," said Sirius. "She's probably at the tower."

"You don't get a say in this Sirius," Gemma said. "She no longer concerns you."

"Really?" Sirius barked. "You seemed pretty hell bent on us talking this morning."

"If you find her, she'll immediately go the other way!"

"Last time I checked you weren't on good terms with her either," James interjected.

"Stay out of this James-"

"I know her better than you think I do!" Sirius spat.

"Really? Because I think-" Gemma started, but she was cut off by the door swinging open.

The noise immediately subsided as everyone became silent. The first to walk through was an angry McGonagall, followed by a surly looking Felicity and a calm Dumbledore.

"Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, breaking the silence. "Might I have a word?"

"Of course, Professor," James said, shooting Felicity a glare on his way out through the portrait hole. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Felicity," Gemma said, exasperated. "Where have you been?"

"Mr. Filtch found her down by the lake, drinking Butterbeer and Firewhiskey that she had somehow aquired," said McGonagall sternly. "She was found with Mr. Potter's cloak and a piece of parchment, which now resides with Mr. Filtch, for it possesses magical properties."

Everyone seemed still as a statue.

Felicity giggled. "Did you know it can insult people?"

"How much have you had to drink?" Lily asked, clutching Felicity's arm as she swayed.

"Most of both the bottles," Dumbledore said, entering with James, who looked furious. "Please have her report to my office first thing tomorrow morning. She seems incoherent at the moment and I wouldn't want her to forget her punishment."

"Of course, Professor Dumbledore," Lily said. "I'll make sure she gets there."

"I think its best," McGonagall said as she eyed Felicity, who had plopped herself onto the couch. "That you'd all go to your dormitories."

The students all nodded and muttered apologies as the two professors left, before rounding on Felicity.

It was a commotion as they all asked questions at once, but Felicity just sat and stared at the fire, tuning them all out. It wasn't until she started to hum that they all knew she wasn't paying attention.

"This is hopeless!" Lily said, about to pull out her hair.

Sirius didn't say anything, but sit in the corner and watch.

James was the first to push everyone out of the way and kneel in front of Felicity. "How did you get the cloak? The map?"

Felicity giggled. "I walked up the stairs, silly."

"Dumbledore gave Filtch the map! How could you let it be taken?"

Felicity didn't do anything but laugh, driving James over the edge.

Gemma pushed him aside and took his place, everyone behind her leaning close to hear. "Felicity-"

"Oh, Viv," said Felicity, looking at Gemma with sad eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

The group of students was especially quiet. Felicity's hand touched the side of Gemma's cheek as she tried to keep it together. "I sang, that god awful song you like. I hoped you'd come to me by the lake but you didn't. Why didn't you come?"

"We'd better get her to bed," Lily sighed. "We won't get any answers from her until tomorrow."

"She probably won't remember tomorrow," said a frustrated James.

"Wait," Sirius said, standing from his chair and making his way over to where the group stood. He wasn't sure what he was doing but his feet carried him anyways. After what had happened that morning, he'd had no inclination of speaking to Felicity but as he stepped closer to her, he found he couldn't resist.

"I don't-" Gemma started to say but Felicity turned and stood at the sound of Sirius' voice.

She walked over to him slowly. "Am I dreaming?"

"Yes," he said, sure that if he had said no that their conversation would have ended abruptly.

"I never wanted-"

"I know," he finished, his voice betraying the sadness in his voice. "I miss you."

Felicity didn't say anything but lean up and kiss him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you," she said softly, her lips still against his.

"Then stay with me."

"I can't," she said.

"Why?"

"Because everything is wrong and mangled."

"I'll make it better," he said, his arms tightening around her waist.

"I don't know if you can."

"What do you need from me?" he said, sounding desperate.

"I don't know," she said as she pulled back. Sirius still kept his arms around her waist while hers rested on his chest. "That's the fickle thing about dreams. They never give you what you really want."

Sirius didn't know what to say so he looked around at the others, but they had all vanished. He figured they had gone to bed, but he hadn't heard them leave.

Felicity's hand cupped his cheek and caressed it, making Sirius feel warm inside. Out of everyone that he'd ever been with, Felicity had been the only one to evoke these emotions from him.

He picked her up gently, cradling her in his arms and placed her back on the couch, which she looked content with. Felicity scooted closer, giggling.

Not about to lose the seriousness of the moment, Sirius found his voice. "Why won't you stay with me?"

"Here?" she asked. "On the couch?"

"No."

Felicity's smile turned into a frown. "You don't want what I have to offer."

"I only want you," he said softly, pushing the hair out of her face. Felicity seemed to revel in it, moving her face with his hands so they continued caressing her face.

"I come with baggage," she said, her eyes closed and her body drifting from side to side.

"I'll help you carry the baggage."

"It's a lot of baggage."

"It's a good thing I'm strong."

"You really must stop. This dream is wrong. Real-Sirius wouldn't say these things."

"How do you know what real-Sirius would say?"

"I know how he thinks." She tapped her temple, giving Sirius a smirk.

Sadly, Sirius knew he wasn't getting anywhere with Felicity being this drunk. He could feel her swaying in his arms as she sat on the couch and hummed. So with a heavy heart, he pulled her up and watched as she climbed the stairs to her dormitory, making a racket with each wrong door she opened.

* * *

 **Hello all! If you let me know what you think of this chapter/the characters/the story in general, I'll send you a snippet of a Felicity/Sirius scene from the next chapter! Ooooh, incentive!**

 **Until next time xoxo**


	22. Chapter 21

"Miss Barnett, do you understand what happened last night?"

Felicity looked up from her hands into the eyes of Professor Dumbledore. She was sitting across from him in his office, with a pounding headache and the feeling that she was going to throw up, again.

She had woken to the noise of Lily getting ready for the morning. It was a Friday, but Felicity still hadn't gotten out of bed. She didn't want to and didn't feel as though she'd be any particular help in her classes today. Felicity was queasy and whichever way she rolled, the bed tilted. It was as if she was sleeping aboard a ship.

Around noon, a sullen looking Lily came back to the dorm and pulled apart the hangings to her four poster bed, saying that Dumbledore requested to see her, hours ago. With a sinking feeling in her stomach and a raging headache, she'd showered, thrown up, and then gotten dressed before heading towards his office.

"I'm sorry professor, but I'll have to confess I haven't the slightest clue."

He nodded, folding his hands on his desk and leaning towards her. "I'd assume as much. You drank quite a bit of alcohol last night."

"Yes, I believe I remember that much."

There was a slight twinkle in his eye before he turned serious. "I'm afraid there will be consequences. After all, you were found by the lake hours past curfew, with alcohol that is prohibited, as well as property that didn't belong to you."

Felicity sat in silence, nodding.

"You'll have detention twice a week with Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing."

"But-" started Felicity.

Dumbledore held up his hand to silence her objections. "I do believe you've requested to stop those classes, but I find they will become beneficial to you in the years to come." Felicity nodded, knowing the punishment could be ten times worse than it was. At least it was only twice a week and not every day, and with Pomfrey, no less. She'd know exactly what to do and how to do it. "You'll resume there until the end of the semester, on the days that you had agreed upon in September. Are we understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, I do have another question." Felicity felt unease but she nodded for him to continue. "What can I do to help you Miss Barnett?" Professor Dumbledore left the words hanging in the air, not so much a question as a statement, his voice had turned from business-like to soft and worrying.

"I'm not sure I understand, Professor." Her words came out confused.

"As I stated before, you were found by the lake inebriated and singing quite loudly to no one in particular, by Professor McGonagall. She was quite worried about your state, so she brought you here. You mentioned your parents." Felicity winced. "I want to know how you're fairing and what I can do."

"It's quite obvious I'm not all right, isn't it?" Felicity said in a small voice.

"Most people don't have as much as you do, thrust upon them at a young age. We're all quite worried about you, Miss Barnett. And your sisters as well."

"I'm doing the best I can."

Dumbledore paused. "We respect that. And the other professors and myself are always here to help. I've discussed it with the other professors and they've agreed to exclude the assignments that were given during your absence. All that is requested of you is to catch up on the readings."

"That is a great pressure lifted, Professor Dumbledore. However, I'm not sure what else I could ask of you."

"Ah," said Dumbledore, leaning back into his chair. "This is where I come in, as I believe I have a solution. I've arranged for Gemma and yourself to be flooed to the Potters every Sunday. You'll leave my office at precisely 8 in the morning, and will return at noon."

Felicity shot up in her seat like a bullet. "What?"

"I find that students who lose family members have an easier time keeping their grades up when they visit others who can comfort them in a way that perhaps the school cannot. So, starting _next_ weekend, you'll floo to the Potters and visit with your sisters. On the promise that your school work and hours at the Hospital Wing will not suffer. And if they do, I'm afraid the privileges will be revoked."

When he finished speaking, Felicity couldn't help it; she started to cry. Her sobs were loud and even though her hands covered her face, she was sure that if there were others around they would have been able to hear her.

Here was the Headmaster, whom she'd barely spoken to until the passing of her parents and sister, helping her out in ways that she'd never be able to dream were possible. On the one hand, he was ensuring that her education would continue in the normal fashion while she'd get to see her sisters once a week until she graduated.

When Felicity calmed down a bit, she looked up to see Professor Dumbledore standing in front of her. "I don't know how I can thank you, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I do not expect anything in return except the promise that you'll try your hardest and not disappoint myself or Professor McGonagall again. You are a prized student in many classes and you excel above others, if I may be so blunt. I'll expect to not see you wandering the ground after curfew inebriated again." He looked down at her over his half-moon spectacles.

Felicity fought back sniffles. "Of course, Professor. I won't let you down again."

Dumbledore's eyes gleamed. "Good. Now I believe it's getting close to lunch," as Dumbledore said the words, Felicity's stomach lurched, the thought of food revolting. "Best you go down and tuck in."

Felicity nodded and scurried out of his office, wondering how she could have gotten so lucky to not get into trouble. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Lily was standing there.

"How did it go?" she asked, uncertainty in her voice.

"Not awful, considering," Felicity said, her stomach still lurching. "Can you hold on a moment?"

"What?" Lily said, astounded as Felicity briskly walked to the nearest girl's loo and proceeded to empty the rest of the contents of her stomach into a toilet. "Ah, I see the alcohol has caught up to you."

"How bad is the damage?" Felicity asked as she flushed the toilet before walking to the sink and rinsing her mouth.

As Lily's silence dragged, the feeling in Felicity's stomach got worse. "That bad, huh?" The worry in her voice was adamant, although she tried to hide it as best she could. If she didn't have her parents, her sisters were out of her reach (save Gemma), and her friends were angry with her; whom in the world did she really have?

"James is rightfully furious. The map was a prized possession and McGonagall gave it to Filtch. Peter is pretty upset. Remus seems to be okay with the turn of events, he understands. Sirius…. Isn't talking."

Felicity's eyebrows raised. "That's new."

Lily didn't continue on the subject. "Gemma is brooding and quiet and Marlene couldn't care less."

"And what of you?"

Lily's eyes softened. "You know I don't blame you for last night."

Felicity felt as if a lump was in her throat and tears stung her eyes. "You don't?"

"Of course not," she said, walking over to pull Felicity into her arms. "It's just a bloody map, they'll get over it. Seventh year is almost over after all, I doubt they'll need it afterwards. James got the cloak back. I know you're having a hard time. I think anyone in your position would be. I'm here for you, Fea, for whatever you need whenever you need it."

"I'm so sorry for how I've acted, Lils," Felicity said as she tried to keep back the tears. "Everything is a rightful mess and I don't know how to fix it, let alone make it any better. I feel as if I'm falling down a long hole, like Alice."

Lily seemed to squeeze her tighter. "Oh, Fea." She could hear the sadness in Lily's voice. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out. I have you and you have me."

Felicity laughed tearfully. "Don't you mean you have James?"

Lily was silent for a moment before she pulled away from Felicity. "I'm not sure he likes me much right now."

"Why? What's happened?" Felicity asked, pulling away to look Lily in her face.

After everything that had happened over the past weeks, the last thing she wanted was to listen to Lily's problems, which was quite selfish of her, but the look of pure fury on Lily's face made her stop and question.

"I don't think I ought to tell you…"

This sparked Felicity's interest, no matter how hard she wanted to hide it. "What did you do? What did he do?"

Lily swivelled her head around, making sure the bathroom was indeed empty before telling Felicity. "I caught them – James and Sirius – this morning, saying awful things…"

Felicity's stomach dropped. "What? About…?"

Lily's silence was all she needed to put the pieces back together. "About me?" Despite herself, her voice went up an octave.

"I'm sorry," Lily said sadly. "I didn't catch it all, just the beginning of it. But I don't think they should be speaking about anyone like that, so…."

Felicity wasn't sure why the thought of Sirius saying mean things about her sent shocks of sadness and utter despair through her body. They weren't together anymore, she had made sure of that, yet it still hurt to think about him saying awful things about her.

"I charmed them."

Felicity had to fight to keep her voice steady and impassive. "Charmed them how?"

Lily wrung her hands together. "I was reading up something in the library the other day and just happened to remember it... but the spell was difficult and I didn't get it right. It was supposed to sever their vocal chords so they wouldn't be able to talk for a day, but I think something went wrong because now they only speak German."

"German?" Felicity choked out. "You can't be serious."

The look on Lily's face, which was a mix of despair and pleading, made Felicity think otherwise. In a swift movement, she pulled Lily into her arms again, gripping her as if her life depended on it. "Thank you for standing up for me, Lils."

"You aren't angry?" came her muffled reply.

Felicity felt like crying, but her eyes were raw and red. At least she'd have one true friend after all. "Of course not. You're brilliant and I'm so very grateful that even after I've treated you horribly that you stood up for me, to your boyfriend and Sirius." Saying his name sent more waves of despair through her. "Will you tell me what they said?"

Lily was silent as they stood holding each other. In the end, the redhead let go and lowered her eyes to the floor. "Fea, I don't think you want to hear it."

Felicity felt like she'd been stabbed through the heart. Were their words really that bad? "Lily? Why won't you tell me? I'll imagine the worst."

"I think I'll let you imagine the worst because I know what they've said and I can't bear telling you."

Lily's words sent a shock through Felicity and she didn't know what to say.

She worried, that maybe she had pushed everything just a little too far.

Lily had gone back to classes after their rendezvous in the bathroom but Felicity didn't; instead she snuck to the 7th floor and entered the Room of Requirement, making a beeline for where she knew the mirror to be.

It hurt, more than it should have, to sit on the dirty floor and watch the family that had been. They looked positively happy to be on the beach and soaking in the sun.

Felicity wasn't sure how long she sat there for, it was probably hours, and didn't stir until her stomach gave an unnatural growling sound.

With a broken heart and a crushed soul, she walked back to Gryffindor tower alone, the halls and corridors empty. As she passed windows she realised it was dark out and cursed herself, hurrying faster as she thought of her promise to Dumbledore.

The common room was empty, save for Gemma who was snoring on a chair, a plate of food on the table next to her.

"Gem," Felicity said, shaking her gently.

Gemma woke slowly, her eyes fluttering open to see Felicity standing over her. "Oh good, you're back. I was waiting up for you, I brought you some food in case you were hungry."

As Gemma stood, Felicity pulled her into a tight and quick hug. "Thanks Gem, I'm starving. Let's go up, yeah?"

The two girls climbed the stairs, as if nothing had happened the night before. Felicity ate quietly and after she'd finished, Gemma climbed into her bed and the two girls slept beside each other, cramped, but together.

* * *

The next day, Felicity was walking down to lunch, albeit late, when she ran into Remus and Sirius, who were just leaving the Great Hall. It had only been a day, but Felicity had been actively avoiding him.

Lily had informed her that she didn't know the counter curse to the charm she had placed upon Sirius and James, and with both of them being too prideful to go to the charms professor and explain the reasoning for why Lily had cast this specific charm on them, they were stuck looking up remedies in the library or hoping that the charm would wear off eventually.

It was too soon for the professors to notice; although some were being suspicious at the two of them being so quiet the day before.

Felicity didn't know what to do and was rooted on the spot as Sirius approached with Remus beside him. She felt the urge to apologise; she had done an awful thing to him and James, but she felt anger at what he could have possibly been saying about her.

When Sirius eventually saw her, he stopped dead in his tracks too while Remus looked on with glee before approaching her, Sirius tugging on his robes feverishly to go the other way.

"Good Morning Felicity," Remus said, a grand smile on his face.

Sirius mumbled something garbled in German to Remus with a gloomy expression before Remus continued speaking. "Sirius also says 'good morning' and also wants you to know that you look ravishing today."

Felicity could feel her eyebrows knitting together and a frown on her face while Sirius looked like he wanted to die.

"Unfortunately," Remus continued, "Sirius is unable to speak English presently so I am tasked as being the translator, for I do know a little German."

Felicity finally found her voice. "You know German?" she sounded intrigued.

Sirius snickered at Remus' crestfallen expression. "It begins and ends with 'Guten Tag'."

Felicity felt anger well up inside her at Sirius. "Well it's more German that I know. And I'm sure that your words are kinder than Sirius'." Her eyes slid to his. "Lily told me what you said," she lied.

His eyes widen frantically and he began to speak German at an incomprehensible rate.

Remus laughed at Sirius' expression until Felicity's eyes slid over to him and narrowed. "Yes, I uh, heard about what James and Sirius were saying. I'd like to offer my apologies."

"Why are you offering your apologies? You didn't do anything Remus."

Remus shrugged. "I know, but they are my friends and I usually stop them from doing stupid things before they do them."

At the mention of stupid, Sirius started nodding frantically, throwing his hands into gestures and rapidly firing off words in German.

"I can't understand you," Remus sighed before turning back to Felicity. "He says that-"

Sirius clamped a hand over his mouth, shutting him up. His eyes looked tired as they pleaded with Felicity but she was too tired to do anything. "I'll see you around, Remus," she said before walking past the both of them and heading into Great Hall.

If Sirius was to keep speaking German until the charm wore off, perhaps it would be easier to ignore him and avoid him.

* * *

Later that evening, Felicity was sitting in the common room with Gemma and Lily. Her head was laying in Gemma's lap while she snoozed, her light snores the only sound in the otherwise quiet room. It was late; almost everyone had gone off to bed already but Felicity felt widely awake.

Lily was on the chair beside the fire, her quill scratching out the last of the essay that she needed to finish; something Gemma and Felicity hadn't needed to do.

"How long has Gemma been asleep?" Lily asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

Felicity's eyes didn't leave the fire when she responded. "A while."

"Did you want to go up to bed?"

"No, I'm not tired yet." With the flames of the fire going down, she could almost feel as if she was back at her old house, her parents close as they laughed about something or other. Her eyes closed for a moment, letting the hollow feeling in her heart swallow her. The devastation that enveloped her was what she knew; it was sadness and grief and something that she was used to now.

With her eyes closed, she could almost see her parents perfectly, laughing at something that Vivian said. But as quickly as the image appeared, it was gone. How long would it be until she couldn't remember their faces?

When she opened her eyes again, she realised that she had dozed off. The fire was nothing more than fiery embers, casting the dark room in a dim glow.

Felicity groaned, not wanting to get up. The couch was so comfy and she was already half asleep, but she pushed herself up into a sitting position, rubbing her eyes, the thought of her bed welcome and inviting. Gemma and Lily were no where to be seen and she figured they had gone back to bed.

She was almost to the stairs when there was a slight shuffle from behind her and she turned to see Sirius. Felicity bit back a scream for he had startled her, a hand flying to be placed over her heart.

"What are you doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" she whisper-shouted, slapping his arm and causing him to chuckle. For a moment, only a moment, with Sirius giving her a delicate smile, his eyes alight with adoration, she forgot what had happened to her family and to their relationship. Her heart gave a quick flutter of _maybe there is hope_ before her instincts kicked in and her mind shouted back _NO._

"What are you doing?" she asked again, exasperation in her voice.

Sirius garbled German for a moment before shaking his head, giving her an odd look of sadness. For the first time, she noticed the bags under his eyes and the worry lines on his forehead.

She took a hesitant step towards him. "Are you all right?"

Sirius shook his head, his hair flying with his movements. It really was getting quite long but Felicity knew that come summer, Mrs. Potter would make him cut it.

After a moment of staring at her, he dropped his eyes and pulled an envelope out of his robes, holding it out to her.

"You wrote a letter?" she couldn't hide the astonishment in her voice. "For me?"

He nodded, his hand coming up to push a long strand of her hair behind her ear.

In hindsight, her hair was getting awfully long too.

His fingers grazed her until his hand cupped her cheek. And for a moment, Felicity didn't hesitate; she sighed and felt her head rest heavier in his hand.

It was as if she didn't have control over her body when it came to Sirius and soon he was holding her, like she'd dreamt about after her parents had died. How many night had she awaken to an empty bed, wishing with all her might that Sirius could be there?

His arms were around her and her arms around him; he smelled just like she remembered and she inhaled deeply, her hear aching just being near him again.

They didn't speak. He tucked her into him; so her head was resting against his chest while his nose buried into her hair. She held on tightly, not wanting to let go; the envelope tightly in her hand. This was how it could have been, why had she thought that she needed to be so alone in all this?

But then she remembered and choking back a cry, she pulled away. The hurt was evident on Sirius' face but Felicity knew it was for the better. With one last look at him, she climbed the stairs to her dormitory.

* * *

 **Sorry about the long wait, hope you enjoy!**


	23. Chapter 22

_I want you to know what happened yesterday was an unfortunate mistake on my part. I let my anger get the better of me and I said things that I won't ever be able to take back. I wish with all my might that I hadn't said those things; they were hurtful and cruel and can't begin to say how sorry I am._

 _I can't fathom how you're feeling right now. You were right; I've never lost anyone that close to me and I hope that I'll never have to know what you're going through. I thought that the only person you'd want beside you to grieve would have been me and when it wasn't, I felt shattered. But that's not your burden to bear and I apologise for how I acted._

 _Felicity, I can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me. You're the light at the end of the tunnel and the moon in my starry night sky. Without you, I don't know if I would be the same person that I am now and I thank you for leading me to be, at least, half the man I am today. But I want to be better and I want to be better for you. I want to be the person that you can depend on and grow old with, but I have a lot of growing up to do and you deserve better._

 _I know I can't offer you a lifetime of happiness because right now I don't know what makes you happy. You've changed and grown in the short amount of time that you've needed to and I haven't yet._

 _However, the cloak and map were prized possessions and I'm upset that you used them without me, and without permission from James. In that regard, I'm not ready to forgive you yet. I hope you understand._

* * *

It was the beginning of May and Felicity was sitting underneath the large tree that bordered the lake. The air was cool and the breeze cool still; it was refreshing and new, as every spring was. It had rained a little the night before, so the grass was still damp, but Felicity didn't mind as she pulled her cloak tighter around her body. She was wearing muggle clothes underneath and although the sweater was warm – her jeans were lose and letting the cold in. Sirius' letter was folded up and stuffed into her pocket – a constant reminder of what was. She rarely went anywhere without it and when she felt her resolve breaking – she'd read it and know that she'd made the right choice.

They hadn't spoken in weeks and even when the charm had worn off, which was only a couple days ago, they had still avoided each other.

The sun was still rising – it was only half past seven – but Felicity couldn't sleep any longer. She found that sleep was getting easier, but nowhere near the way it used to be. Some nights she wasn't able to sleep at all, the nightmares being prominent, such as last night.

But today was Sunday and as promised, she was to visit her sisters.

It had been just over a month since Dumbledore made his promise and sure enough, he'd held up his end. Felicity had held up her end too – her grades were back to where they should be, although transfiguration was still lower than she'd liked; but Remus had agreed to help her and although she was horrid, she was getting better. Her training sessions with Madame Pomfrey were going well enough – Isabella was still holding a grudge and Felicity couldn't blame her. She'd spent most nights studying in the library for her N.E.W.T's and felt confident that she'd be able to pass with some decent grades.

The first couple of weeks were the hardest. Every morning she woke to the sadness in her heart and every night she let the sadness envelope her to sleep. During the day she tried to push the grief out of her mind and some days she succeeded, while others it was difficult to get out of bed.

Gemma was much of the same, some days being her lively and outgoing self while others she was quiet and secluded. But Felicity never blamed her; Gemma was battling her down demons just as Felicity was. They battled some demons together, in the form of holding each other and offering a shoulder to cry on when needed while other demons could only be fought by oneself. The mind was a ferocious thing and Felicity found it exhausting sometimes to try and pretend otherwise. There were only so many times you could wish yourself dead before the thought took hold and seemed rooted in her brain, for better or worse. She liked to think that she didn't fear death, for when it came she'd be with her parents and Vivian again.

There was a rustling behind her and Felicity turned to see Gemma before she sat beside her, their hands finding each other's in the wet grass. Gemma didn't say anything; she knew that Felicity liked Sunday mornings to reflect on what happened and to wish for better days, when the war would be over and they'd be able to heal in peace.

Melody was almost a year old – they were to celebrate her birthday at the end of the school year with a small cake. Penelope was the most excited, for she felt as if this was the first step to things going back to normal – or as normal as they could be. But for Felicity, things would never again be normal.

"Should we start making our way to Dumbledore's office? Would you like to stop and grab some toast from the Great Hall before we leave?"

Gemma's questions came out in the same monotone voice as they usually did but at this point Felicity was used to it.

"No, I'm not hungry. Let's head up, maybe he'll let us leave a bit early."

Together, the girls climbed the stairs to the Headmasters office, Dumbledore already waiting beside the statue of a Griffin.

He inclined his head. "Good morning, ladies."

"Good Morning, Professor Dumbledore," Felicity and Gemma said in unison.

"Ready?"

"Yes, Professor."

Felicity never liked travelling by floo, but she never dared to say that out loud. She'd travel by broom if that meant she'd get to see her sisters every Sunday. As soon as Gemma's flames cleared in Dumbledore's office, she grabbed a handful of powder and stepped into the dwindling flames.

"See you in a few hours, Professor," Felicity said, the words rolling off her tongue as they always did every Sunday morning.

"Have a pleasant visit," was his reply, as usual, his eyes twinkling.

When her feet landed on a stable surface, she heard the commotion immediately. Dusting herself off, Felicity plastered the biggest grin she could muster on her face.

Gemma was hugging Penelope while Penny blasted off rapid fire the events of the week that had passed. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were sitting on the couch, Melody in Mrs. Potter's lap, who was clapping her hands together (albeit badly).

Felicity took her cloak off, dusting off the remaining ashes on her clothes before she went and scooped up Melody. The young girl squealed, her arms flying into the air as if she was flying.

"My, little one, you grow ever so fast!" complained Felicity, her eyes sparkling at Melody's unwavering smile. "Don't you?"

Penelope pulled away from Gemma to give Felicity a hug. "Oh, Fea, I missed you."

Felicity's heart seemed to beat faster. "Oh, my darling, I've missed you too." Felicity kissed Penelope's head, watching as Melody seemed to want to do the same.

"Can we show them the trick?" Penelope said with excitement in her voice. Mr. and Mrs. Potter both smiled and nodded at her before Penelope picked up Melody from Felicity's arms. "You sit here," she told Felicity, pushing her down so she was sitting cross legged. "And Gem, you over here," Penelope placed Gemma a foot away from Felicity, on the floor.

"Are we to be amazed?" Gemma said with a smile on her face. Felicity knew that it was a fake; one that she saved for her sisters. Her eyes seemed dark and there were heavy bags under her eyes, but she knew that neither Penelope nor Melody would notice.

"Alright, Mellie, it's show time!" Penelope said, placing Melody into Gemma's hands. Melody's feet were on the ground and she was facing Felicity. Her arms waved as Felicity made silly faces at her.

"Fea, stick your arms out!" Penelope chided, coming to stand behind Felicity and ruffling her hair in the process. "Arms!"

"Yes, Penny, I heard you the first time," Felicity chided, trying to contain her laugh as she held her hands out to Melody. She chanced a quick glance at Mrs. Potter, who was smiling widely and nodding back at her with an eager expression.

Eager to go towards Felicity – Melody took a few wavering steps before Felicity pulled her into her arms, nearly screaming and crying at the same time. _Her first steps!_ She screamed inside her head. Gemma was squealing and demanding that Felicity turn the baby around and have her do it again, which Melody obliged with happily.

"When did you notice?" Felicity said, aiming the question at Mrs. Potter.

"She's been holding the furniture and standing for a while now," Mr. Potter said, glancing to his wife for confirmation.

"We knew it was to happen eventually so we selfishly have held her for the past couple days, hoping that she'd do it while you two were here," Mrs. Potter supplied, a glint in her eyes. "How well our plan worked, Penny!"

Penelope was clapping her hands while Melody took short steps on shaky legs in between Felicity and Gemma, both of the girls catching her when her legs grew tired.

"Oh!" Penelope said. "May I show them the other surprise?" she asked Mr. Potter, giving him a pleading look.

Mr. Potter looked just as excited as he turned to Mrs. Potter. "Yes, that's all right, Emily?"

Mrs. Potter laughed along with Felicity and Gemma while Melody squealed, trying to make herself heard among the noise. "Yes, Charles."

The group headed out to the backyard where there sat a tiny new broom, propped up against the doors of the shed.

"You've gotten a broom for Penelope?" Gemma asked, confusion in her voice and on her face.

"We don't know if she's a witch yet," Felicity said in a hushed tone to Mrs. Potter. "She hasn't really shown signs of magic-"

Penelope, with the help of Mr. Potter had mounted the broom and was hovering a couple feet off the ground, grinning proudly. When she looked over, Felicity and Gemma couldn't help but grin back and cheer at her enthusiasm.

"She was showing signs a couple weeks ago," Mrs. Potter explained while Penelope zoomed to and fro in the yard. "We weren't sure if it was Penny or Melody so Charles decided to take her to the Ministry for a quick visit – the wizard genes are prominent and I spoke to Dumbledore, she'll be going to Hogwarts in the fall."

Gemma whopped and hollered at the news before running to Penelope and nearly dragging her off the broom in excitement. "You hear that? My little magical Penny!"

"You're sure?" Felicity said, unable to control her excitement, Melody bobbing along as her body shook from happiness.

"Completely positive," Mr. Potter said, smiling.

"I'm really going?" Penny said, her eyes wide. She let her feet touch the ground, the broom forgotten. "To Hogwarts, in the fall?"

"Oh you're going to be the best seeker there is!" Gemma said, dancing around the yard, in a state of complete happiness at someone continuing the Quidditch line.

"What's wrong?" Penelope said, running to Felicity. "Are you not happy? You're crying."

"Penelope Barnett, I am so proud of you," said Felicity, on the verge of tears.

She smiled a shy smile, hugging her sister. "That's something mum would have said."

* * *

Just before noon, the four Barnett girls sat outside underneath the tree that gave shade to most of the backyard. Penelope was tucked into the middle, leaning on Gemma while Felicity held a sleeping Melody in her arms. The four had made this routine, alone time away from others, to talk about anything that they needed to get off their minds – such as the coming war or their parents and sister's deaths.

"How many more?" asked Penelope, her voice sounding sleepy.

"Six or seven," replied Felicity, counting the weekends in her head. "Then we'll be done school and we'll be together again."

Penelope snuggled closer to Gemma as the thought of her sisters leaving saddened her.

"Did you like the house?" Gemma asked. "It's a bit far from London but it'll be good for us."

"You can even have your own room!"

Penelope pouted. "I don't want my own room. I want to share with Melody."

Felicity and Gemma glanced at each other. In truth, there were four bedrooms for the sake of privacy.

"We won't force you to do anything you don't want, Penny," said Gemma, rubbing a couple stray hairs out of her face. "If you'd like to share with Mellie then that's perfectly all right."

Penelope seemed content.

"Otherwise you liked the house?" They had specifically asked for a smaller house with a larger yard so the two girls would be able to run and play all they wanted – although for Penny that would only be summers and Christmas break. Felicity figured that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had changed the price of the house – telling the girls it was a lot cheaper than it actually was and had paid for some of it themselves. Felicity wasn't going to complain, but the generosity that they were showing the Barnett's was getting higher and higher and it worried Felicity. Would they expect anything in return?

"Yes," said Penelope. "We'll finally be a family again."

Felicity sighed, snuggling closer to Penelope. "We'll always be a family. And we'll always have each other."

* * *

When they arrived back at Hogwarts, the two girls were quiet as they thanked Professor Dumbledore, who was sitting behind his desk stroking a phoenix, before taking their leave and heading for the common room. Gemma had Quidditch practice after lunch and Felicity was headed to the library to study with Lily.

"Melody is getting so big," Gemma commented.

"I know – we need to invest in a camera so we can keep albums, like mama would have done."

Gemma sighed. "Most of the albums were lost in the fire – but I think I remember finding one that was salvageable. I'll take a look through the boxes next weekend." The girls always referred to the deaths as 'the fire' for it was easier to bear than the truth. After they had scoured the burnt house, they'd only come away with two boxes full of objects, a couple picture frames and an album that had miraculously survived.

"I'm worried about Penny," Felicity said, bringing back Gemma's attention. "I can't tell how she's fairing and it hard to get anything out of her. I wonder if we should hold her back a year, just to make sure."

"You want to hold her back? From going to Hogwarts you mean?" Gemma sounded concerned. "Can we even do that?"

"I don't know. But I don't want to send her away for a year if she isn't ready."

"Let's give it the summer and see how she does, yeah? We only see her once a week, she's probably telling Emily everything that's on her mind instead of us." Gemma's voice showed a hint of bitterness.

"All right. You're still set to leave and train with the Harpies in September?"

"Yes, they've let me have a special pass. Same wages, but I'll be an alternate for a year just to get my bearings. They understand what I'm going through and want me enough that they'll wait. I'll be in London during the week and then I can come home on the weekends."

They had reached the portrait hole and gave the password before climbing through and walking up the stairs to the dormitory. Felicity sat on the edge of her bed, not motivated to go to the library at all. She felt sad at saying goodbye to her sisters and wished that they could have more time with them then just four hours.

"I don't know if I want to play Quidditch anymore," Gemma said, her voice muffled from her comforter covering half of her mouth.

"Don't say that because you know it isn't true. What's the real reason?"

"I don't want to have to think about going away from you, Penny and Mellie for so long." Felicity could hear the sadness in Gemma's voice. "The thought of only seeing you lot on the weekends is hard. I know training will keep me busy but I'm not sure it's worth it."

"Gemma," Felicity sighed, unsure of what to say. She knew where Gemma was coming from and the thought of their family still being divided was hard, but it's what needed to be done. "You know you love Quidditch. The feeling of flying in the air; it's what you were meant to do. The fact is that you get to do what you love and you're going to get paid for it."

"I'm not sure it's worth it," Gemma said again, sitting up and staring at Felicity, her eyes glistening.

Felicity got up and sat beside Gemma on her bed, pulling her sister close. "Gem this is your dream."

"What about your dreams, Fea?"

There was such sadness in Gemma's voice that it took Felicity by surprise and tears threatened to fall from her eyes, her nose stinging. It had been her dream to go to St. Mungo's and become an exceptional healer but she hadn't thought about that for a long time. She hadn't _allowed_ herself to think about it.

"I know you're feeling tired and worn out and the thought of the future coming at us so quickly is scary," began Felicity. "But we've got to figure it out together. This Quidditch position will pay much more than a Healing job and we're going to need the money. Penelope will need books and robes and quills for Hogwarts and Melody is growing like a weed, she's going to need clothes and shoes and we have to feed both of them, Gem. We have to think about this rationally. We're going to be parents to our sisters in a matter of a couple months and they are going to look up to us to take care of them."

"God, Felicity, I'm not ready. I don't know a thing about taking care of children-"

"Gem, neither do I," implored Felicity. "But we'll figure it out together. Penny is self-sufficient, she can tell us what she needs and doesn't, the only one we'll have trouble with is Melody and that is just going to be figuring out what's right and wrong."

"How can you be so positive about this?" Gemma asked, her voice shaking. "I'm freaking out."

Felicity was quiet for a while, unsure what to say. "I'm not," was her whispered reply. "I'm scared out of my wits and I have no idea how we're going to do this but if I don't stay positive then who will?"

* * *

"I don't know how much more I can take," Lily said, putting her head in her hands. "The words are bleeding together."

"Lily, we've only been down here a couple hours," Remus said, shooting her a worried look.

"Remus is right," Felicity said. "Since when do you quit after only a couple hours of studying? Usually we're here until Pince kicks us out. "

"Since now," Lily said, shutting the large textbook in front of her. "We've been studying for weeks. It's Sunday night, dinner is to start in an hour or so, why don't we just go relax by the fire for a bit?" She was looking hopefully at Felicity while Felicity tried to ignore her. "Remus? What do you think?"

Remus looked hesitant but nodded. "I think Lily might be right. We can take a break for tonight and pick up where we left off tomorrow?"

Felicity sighed. "It seems as if there is no winning with you two. If we leave, Remus, you have to promise you'll help me with my Transfiguration for at least an hour tomorrow!"

Remus smiled. "Deal."

"Oh, let's just get out of here," Lily said, packing up the rest of her things. She threw them all into her book bag, not bothering to place them neatly inside like she usually did. "I'm burnt out."

Felicity chuckled while she placed her things into her bag. The three of them walked out of the library and started heading towards the common room.

"I can't wait to just put my feet up," Lily said. "My mind hurts."

"I second that," Remus said with a sigh.

"I could use a nap," said Felicity, earning a worried look from Lily. "Don't worry I'm fine."

"Have you been having trouble sleeping again?" Lily asked.

"Sometimes," Felicity relented. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Maybe you should get a sleeping draught from Pomfrey for tonight," suggested Remus.

"Remus has a good idea," said Lily. "You could go down now."

Felicity sighed, knowing they were right. "Ugh, I hate the way the draught makes you sleep." Upon seeing their confused expressions, she continued. "It's a dreamless sleep. Almost like you're dead until you just wake up."

"That's usually how people sleep," remark Lily with a laugh.

Felicity shook her head, but turned around and started walking towards the Hospital Wing. "I'll be back in a bit!"

"I'll be the one asleep by the fire!" Lily joked, earning a laugh from Remus.

Felicity chuckled to herself, dreaming about a quick power nap by the fire as she walked into the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey was in her office, Isabella nowhere in sight.

Felicity knocked, hesitantly and when Pomfrey looked up and smiled, she knew she had made the right choice.

"Miss Barnett, what a pleasure to see you on your day off. What can I do for you?"

Felicity smiled, knowing Madame Pomfrey's kindness was genuine. "I've been having trouble sleeping lately, I was wondering if it would be all right if I took a sleeping draught for tonight?"

Madame Pomfrey's eyebrows shot up but she didn't say anything as they walked towards the cabinet where all the potions were kept. "My dear, I knew you'd had… problems a couple weeks ago. Has this been going on long?"

Felicity panicked at her words. "Some days are better than others."

Pomfrey open the cabinet and immediately pulled out a small bottle, handing it to Felicity. "I know I shouldn't say this but, dear, if you're having trouble sleeping, come see me." Her eyes showed worry.

Felicity felt her words tugging at her heart strings. "Thank you."

"Now run along, and make sure you eat plenty tonight!" Pomfrey urged. "You know how those fair on empty stomachs."

"Yes, ma'am," Felicity said, tucking the bottle into her book bag and out of sight. "I'll see you on Tuesday!"

Before Madame Pomfrey could say anything in return the doors to the Hospital Wing burst open, flashing red and gold as many students came crashing in at once.

"Get her on a bed!"

"Careful, watch her head!"

"Clear the area, give Pomfrey room! C'mon, make room!"

"Oh god there's blood everywhere…"

"Do you think she'll be all right?"

Felicity couldn't think and couldn't breathe. Everything around her became a small hum of noise as her eyes zeroed in. Madame Pomfrey pushed past her, rushing to the student in red robes whom she knew too well.

 _Gemma. Gemma. Gemma._

Her hands were shaking as she made it to the side of the bed where Gemma lay, pushing people out of the way until she could see her.

 _Oh god no. Please, no…._

Gemma's head was split open and gushing blood while Pomfrey poured a liquid over her. Her arm was at an odd angle and her legs were tangled into themselves. There were gashes everywhere - some of them deep and some of them shallow.

 _Please, Gemma, wake up! Wake up!_

She had begun to shake her sister, but it was no use. Her body was limp and unmoving, her skin pale and cold. Felicity began to frantically feel around for a pulse.

 _Please Gemma, please…._

Suddenly there were strong arms around her, stealing her away from Gemma.

 _No, Gemma!_

Felicity kicked and thrashed with all her might as she began to get further away. _Gemma! Gemma!_ The arms tightened around her, lifting her away and out through the doors before they slammed shut. The last thing she saw was Pomfrey's worried face as she yelled out instructions to the only people who were still there. Not but seconds later, McGonagall and Dumbledore rushed down the hall and straight into the Hospital Wing, not bothering to close the door behind themselves.

Felicity was getting further away from the Hospital Wing and away from Gemma. She didn't realise she was screaming until a hand clamped down on her mouth.

"God dammit Felicity, people are going to think you're being murdered!"

"Let me go!" she screamed, thrashing about. "Gemma!"

"Felicity! Stop fighting-"

"Let go of me!" she screamed again, kicking and throwing her weight from side to side until the arms around her lessened their hold for a fraction of a second.

The second was enough and she was soon sprinting down the hall with all her might, whoever had been holding her was close behind; she could feel them trying to get a grip of her robes. The door to the Hospital Wing was still open; but there was no sign of Gemma, Pomfrey, Dumbledore or McGonagall.

"NO!" she screamed, running to the bed where Gemma had laid, the blood still warm on the pillow. "Gemma!"

"Felicity, stop screaming!" James said from behind her.

She turned to James, frantically grabbing his robes. "Where did they take her?!"

"St. Mungo's, I think," was the small reply that James said.

"What did you do to her!" Felicity screamed, lashing out at James, striking in him the chest and arms as he made no move to defend himself. She was frantic and unsure what to do with herself; the nightmare where she found Gemma lying in a puddle of her own blood was becoming more and more realistic; she'd just seen it.

"Felicity-"

"Get away from me!" she screamed, flinching away from his touch. His eyes were hurt but he didn't say anything as he backed away.

Felicity turned and ran from the Hospital Wing, but only made it halfway down the corridor before her body gave out on her and she slumped against the wall, the sobs overtaking her body.

She couldn't think and it was getting hard to breathe. Gemma was likely dead; what was she to do? She couldn't raise two children by herself. How was she to provide for them? How could she even go on without Gemma, the only person who truly understood what she'd gone through and who had stuck with her through thick and thin?

"Felicity," said Sirius, coming to kneel in front of her as she clung to the wall.

"I-" she said, barely able to get out a word before a new sob racked her body. Sirius gave a worried look to someone standing behind her before pulling her into his arms. She didn't hesitate, but instead clung to him as if he were her lifeline; her only hope.

She buried her face into his chest and he held her while someone rubbed circles onto her back. After quite a while, she spoke. "I can't do this again."

"Shhh," Sirius said.

"I can't lose her, Sirius. I can't-" Her voice broke on the last word and Sirius' arms tightened around her.

"Gemma's a fighter," said James from behind her. "They must've taken her to St. Mungo's and they'll heal her up real good. I'm going to go send an owl, see if I can get any information."

Felicity could hear his footsteps running away but didn't register where he was going or what he was doing. Her mind was flying a million miles a minute.

"Please don't leave me," she choked out. "I've no one left."

Sirius brushed the hair away from her face and dried the tears that were still falling. "I'm here, Fea. I'll always be here."

"I know what I did was wrong-"

"Shh," Sirius said, cutting her off. "We don't have to talk about that now."

"Please just don't-"

"I'm not going anywhere, Fea. I'm here and I'll always be here." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Let me in so I can help you," he reasoned.

Felicity felt completely and utterly exposed and weak, so the words were out of her mouth before she even knew what was happening. "I'm so scared, Sirius. Please, _please_ , help me."

His voice was gruff with emotion when he spoke. "We'll figure it out together, yeah? You and me against the world. Whatever happens, we'll face it together."

Something about his words sent a calming feeling through Felicity. In the past, if he'd said something like that, it would have sent butterflies through her stomach but now, in the moment, it comforted her in a way that nothing else could have. Her sobs continued until there was nothing else left to cry out and they sat together, Felicity's head on his chest, both their eyes on the Hospital Wing's doors.

They sat together until the sun had fallen and the corridors were dark.

"Did you want to go back to the common room?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence.

"No," said Felicity. "I want to wait until Dumbledore get back. Then I want him to take me to see Gemma."

Sirius didn't say anything else, so the two of the sat there until they both fell asleep.

* * *

 **Another twist! Hope you're still loving the story  & a HUGE thank-you to everyone who has reviewed! You guys make my days a little better. **


	24. Chapter 23

"Ahem."

Felicity woke with a scream stifled in her throat as she was jerked awake. Her first thought was _Gemma_ and then she registered that she was still lying on the cold floor huddled next to Sirius, who was snoring softly.

Dumbledore's crimson robes billowed in a slight breeze while Professor McGonagall had a frown on her face while her arms were crossed, a very disappointed look upon her face.

"Where's Gemma?" Felicity's loud voice startled Sirius, who woke and shot up like a bullet.

"She's at St. Mungo's," said Professor Dumbledore. "Miss Barnett needed immediate treatment for her wounds. Madame Pomfrey deemed the injuries were too intense for her to be treated at Hogwarts."

Felicity stood on shaky legs. Her felt the hollow feeling inside her creeping back in. "How is she? What happened?"

Dumbledore seemed worried. "Come into my office and we can discuss this further."

"Mr. Black, would you please go and find Mr. Potter, I'd like a word with you both," said McGonagall.

Sirius stood and started to walk around Felicity when her arm snapped out in front of him, of its own accord. "No!"

"No?" came Professor McGonagall's icy tone. She was not one to be contradicted.

"Please," begged Felicity. The tears began to start up again as she clutched Sirius' hand. "Please, just tell me she's alive. I don't care how wounded she is, please, just tell me she's alive."

"I'll tell you everything you need to know once we've reached my office," Dumbledore said, leading the way without a backwards glance.

Felicity followed immediately, clutching Sirius' hand as she dragged him along. She could feel the daggers that McGonagall was shooting into the back of her head.

For Felicity, it seemed to take hours to reach the Headmaster's office and Dumbledore, true to his word, didn't say anything until the four of them were sitting comfortably.

"Gemma's wounds were grave," he began. "There was massive internal damage from falling from such a height. Her head sustained the most damage."

"Can she talk?" squeaked Felicity, her voice an odd pitch out of concern and panic. "Can she function? Can she remember?"

"We aren't sure of her status at the moment," said Dumbledore. "The Healers put her into a deep sleep so her head could heal properly. We should know more in a couple days when she wakes up."

"A couple days?" Felicity said, feeling herself whiten. Suddenly, she didn't feel so good.

Felicity stood, strode over to an older and nice looking vase, throwing the flowers that were in it on the ground before vomiting everything that had been in her stomach, which wasn't much.

After, she sat, rubbing her sweaty hands on her clothes before muttering a quiet apology. Dumbledore, seeming excellently calm, waved his wand at the vase and it was back to normal, flowers and all.

"I want to see her," Felicity said. "Now."

* * *

The ward was how Felicity remembered it, plain and white. Or was this a different ward? She wasn't sure, she just knew that she hadn't missed the white walls. They felt close and as if they were getting even closer with every step.

She squeezed Lily's hand, which she held in her own. Lily squeezed back reassuringly, but it did little to quell her nerves. Felicity wished desperately that Sirius were here, but at the moment he was stuck in McGonagall's office with James and most likely the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, going over the events that had landed Gemma in serious care.

Dumbledore walked ahead of them, his posture rigged until he stopped at a door on the right side of the wall and leaned in to speak to a Healer. The Healer stepped out, nodding to Dumbledore and retreating down the hall. When he looked over to Felicity, she didn't see the usual spark in his eye.

Gemma laid in the white bed, her skin paler than normal. Blankets were tucked around her so the only thing showing were from her chest and up. Her hands were hidden somewhere, as if they weren't supposed to touch her.

"Look," Lily said. "She just looks like she's sleeping. It'll be all right."

Felicity didn't say anything as she went and sad beside the bed, her whole body shaking.

 _What am I going to do, what am I going to do, what am I going to do._

"Gemma," Felicity said softly. "Gemma." Louder, this time, as if she could wake her. She smoothed hair away from Gemma's face. "Gemma I need you to wake up and be all right." Her voice was cracking. "Gemma, I need you. I can't do this alone."

If Gemma could hear her while asleep, she didn't move or make any kind of gesture.

"Gemma," she tried again. "Please. Penelope and Melody need us. I need you. You have to come back."

"Felicity," Lily said softly from behind her. "I don't know if she can hear you."

Felicity sighed and closed her eyes. "Lily, can you leave, please."

There was a moment of silence and a quiet sigh from Lily before her footsteps melted away and the door shut with a quiet click.

That was the moment that Felicity truly broke down.

There was no one left. She was the last; the last one standing. Now, there was no one to hold her hand and tell her it was going to be all right, and that hurt the most.

A sob escaped as she put her hand over her mouth, ignoring the tears that were falling. "Please, Gemma, I need you."

But Gemma didn't say anything back; she lay motionless.

Felicity's heart, which she had mended poorly after her family's deaths, was breaking even further now. What once held it together was crumbling and the feeling that was growing inside her, complete and utter despair, was taking over. Her hands shook as she pulled the blankets back and grabbed Gemma's hand.

It was cold in her own as she brought it to her cheek. "Please come back to me. Please, please, please."

The silence in the room was more than uncomfortable, it was deafening. Her breathing quickened with every second that passed, until suddenly, Felicity couldn't take it anymore.

She flung the door open and rushed passed Lily, who was shocked to find Felicity running down the hall. She took turn after turn until she saw stairs and took those two at a time, pushing past other visitors and Healers. She almost tripped and landed on her face; but she caught herself quick enough that she managed to keep herself upright.

When she finally saw the wall that lead outside, she nearly cried out in joy. As it was, as soon as she made it through, the familiar sensation that she always got while passing into Platform 9 / ¾ fading, her face was pelted with rain.

Felicity fell to her knees, breathing heavily, clawing at her throat. _More air, more air._ It seemed as if there wasn't enough air in the world to fill her lungs. The rain was cold but it helped; it made her shiver and realise that she was still capable of feeling. Felicity needed to feel something other than despair so she felt cold. She was still in her muggle clothes so she had gotten that right, but because she was on her knees crying in the rain, gasping for air as if she was dying, it turned a couple glances her way from the Muggles passing by.

"Merlin," Lily breathed upon finally spotting Felicity. "It's pouring outside, Fea!"

Felicity didn't say anything for she was still gulping air.

"We have to get you back inside!" Lily tried to persuade but Felicity just shook her head. She couldn't go back in there. There were too many memories of dying sisters and dead parents, it was overwhelming to say the least.

And so Lily did the last thing that Felicity expected, she sat down beside her in the rain and held her.

"I can't do this anymore," Felicity sobbed. "It's too much-"

"Felicity, it's okay."

"No, Lily, this is far from okay! There's no one but me left and I don't know what I'm going to do." Felicity cried harder with every word that escaped her mouth. "This is a nightmare. What am I going to tell Penelope?"

"Fea-"

"Lily, I'm drowning! I'm drowning in sorrow and I don't know if I can swim anymore."

Lily's eyes welled with tears. "We'll figure it out…"

Felicity shook her head. "I don't think I can go back." For a moment, she wasn't sure if she meant St. Mungo's, Hogwarts, or to her life in general.

Lily stroked the hair out of her face, like Sirius would have done. "That's okay. We'll come back when Gemma wakes up."

* * *

When Felicity walked back into the common room later that night, she felt drained. She had no energy left and it took all her will power to put one foot in front of the other. Lily stood beside her, but every time that Felicity glanced at her; she couldn't help but feeling completely and utterly alone. Of course Lily was her best friend, but she wasn't Gemma. Felicity felt vulnerable in a way that she never had before.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, for the millionth time that day. Felicity didn't say anything but sit on the couch. "Are you hungry?"

"No, Lily."

Unsure what to do, Lily hovered. There was no one else in the common room; it was late and way past curfew. She was unsure how to proceed for Felicity seemed one problem away from a breakdown.

There was pounding on the steps and Sirius appeared, pyjama's and all, looking like he had just rolled out of bed at the slightest noise. He looked relieved to find Lily and Felicity back and began to walk towards the two.

"Felicity-" Sirius started, before stopping and standing in front of the fire, in her direct line of sight.

"Not now, Sirius," was her reply. She sounded tired and exasperated and her eyes didn't leave the raging fire, as much as Sirius willed them to.

"We need to talk," came his defiant response. His hands were clenched and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Sirius," Lily warned, starting towards him. She knew that Felicity was not in the mood to be poked and prodded by Sirius' questions, as she had already been bugged by the Healers and their questions.

"I'll be up in a minute, Lils," Felicity said, her tone letting Lily know that it was all right.

Lily hesitated but nodded to the back of Felicity's head and quietly went up the stairs. Sirius didn't speak until he heard the dormitory room door close.

"How is Gemma?"

Felicity sighed. "Not good. The doctors have her in a deep sleep but they think there might be brain damage."

"I'm so sorry," Sirius said, his words no more than a whisper.

"I know it's not your fault," replied Felicity. Her eyes moved from the fire to his. "She's a damn good Quidditch player but it's a dangerous sport. Accidents happen."

"I should have been there-"

Felicity leaned her head back against the couch, her hands tight in her lap as her eyes slid closed. Her posture was rigged and tense. "There's no use feeling guilty. It won't do you any good. I've learnt that the hard way."

"Stop being like that."

"Like what?" Her voice turned hard.

"Closed off from everyone. Like you don't give a damn," his voice too, had grown harsh. "This morning I was all you had and now you're pushing me away again?"

"Sirius, I've not the energy or inclination to fight with you at the present moment so if that's all-"

"That's what you always say," he said angrily. "When will you have the time? The energy, the inclination, the want, to have this conversation with me?"

With her eyes still closed, she answered. "I'm not doing this now."

"It was a farce wasn't it? Everything that happened between us? Even this morning -"

"Oh Merlin, will you listen to yourself for a moment? You sound like a whiney girl," Felicity snapped.

Sirius took a step back as if he'd been slapped. "You're doing it again."

"Good. Maybe you'll take the hint that _I don't wish to talk about this right now_."

"And when will you actually want to talk about this?" he said. "Tomorrow? Next week? We haven't spoken for nearly a month and then today-"

"That was a mistake on my part."

Sirius shook his head angrily. "You can't just toy with me-"

Her eyes flashed open and she leaned forward. "Toy with you? Are you joking?"

Sirius' mouth was so dry that he couldn't speak.

"You said things that were hurtful to me," her voice was rising. "I thought we could be civil about what happened with the map and the cloak because damn it, _I felt bad_. But then I had to hear from Lily that you were saying things behind my back-"

"They weren't behind your back! I was saying them in strict confidence to James-"

"Oh, because that makes it any better. Talking about me the way you were-"

"Felicity-"

"Don't _Felicity_ me!"

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain!"

"Why should I have? You haven't denied any wrong doing! You haven't denied that you had been saying awful things about me! "

"Of course I haven't! Because I regret saying the awful things I did. I regret that Lily overheard us, because I never wanted any of what we had been saying to get out! We were _gutted_ when we found out we couldn't have back what was ours. We had worked _fucking_ hard for that Map to be the way it was, it took _years_ , and for Filtch to end up with it was heartbreaking!

"So we found an empty space and started saying all the things we'd been thinking. Every last horrible thought, because who would be able to hear us? We just needed to get them out and vent. And then Lily just happened to walk by and hear…"

He paused, his face a mixture of anger and vulnerability.

"I regret what I did. But I don't regret yesterday with you and I don't regret this morning. I needed time to forgive you for what you've done, but it's only made me realise how much I want you in my life."

Felicity looked defeated as she let out a long sigh. "Sirius, I can't do this with you anymore." She leaned forward, putting her head in her lap and wrapping her arms around her legs. "I can't fight with you right now, I don't have it in me."

"Let me in," he said desperately. Felicity couldn't help it; she raised her head. She had never heard Sirius use that kind of tone – as if he were lost and looking for home, on the verge of tears. When she looked into his eyes, she could see the tears and what was left of her heart gave a lurch of its own accord.

She shook her head as if to clear it – _focus_ – she told herself. "I can't give you what you want or what you deserve. I'm basically a mother to two children; I've no long-term money, no job prospects, and a sister healing in St. Mungo's. I can't offer you my time because I don't have any-"

"I don't care about any of that-"

"You don't?" her words could have cut ice and she stood on shaky legs. "Because that is my life now. Problem after problem until there are so many of them I can't see straight."

"Move in with me," his words came out in a rush. "Or, I'll move in with you. And the girls. I'll pay half the bills, I've got money saved. I've no job prospects until the fall so I can help with Penny, Mellie and Gemma. I'd be able to help you and help Gemma."

"Sirius, I can't-"

"Why," he said; his voice half whine and half desperation. He put his hands on either side of her face so she had nowhere to look but in his eyes and pulled her close so they were practically chest to chest. Where he touched her it felt like fire on her skin and it made her mind spin, hard to form concrete thoughts. "Why can't I be the one to be there for you?"

"Because you make me fall apart-" She choked out the words, tears threatening to fall. "You unravel me and make me want to do things… I need to be focused… I need someone to put me back together. Can you do that?" Her voice sounded desperate. "I need to depend on someone because Gemma is ill and I can't do this alone anymore." Her voice cracked as she tried to keep her emotions together. But once again, Sirius was unravelling everything inside her until there was nothing left. "I can't love you now because I need to keep myself from falling apart – and damn it, it's taking everything in me to keep it together." Felicity bit back a sob.

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times before the words poured out of him, garbled with emotion. "I'm so in love with you, Felicity."

She couldn't handle the words he was saying so her eyes closed as the tears fell.

"I know you come with baggage, and so do I," he continued, not missing a beat. "I'm not perfect. But Merlin, I can't live without you."

Felicity unravelled even more, collapsing into his chest and sobbing. How long had she wanted someone to say the things Sirius was saying to her? She felt as if she was reliving a dream from a year ago, when all she could think of was Sirius and all she wanted to think of was snogging Sirius. And yet, as he said these things she couldn't help but feel more alone than ever. There was no Vivian to run and tell secrets to and Gemma was lying in a hospital bed. When had her life gotten so bad that she couldn't see anything in a positive light? It was all bleak and black.

Sirius continued speaking, saying the words softly into her ear. "Let me love you. Let me help you piece yourself back together. Tell me what you need and I'll do it, I'll be it."

"I can't tell you how to fix me because I don't know how I can be fixed."

He pulled her back so he could look into her eyes and wiped away the tears that streaked her face.

"I want to love you," she said. "Merlin knows that's all I want. But I have to be selfish and help myself right now. Because otherwise I won't be able to live and I _have_ to live for Penny and Melody."

"I'll love us enough for the both of us," he said, while he placed hesitant kisses on her face.

Felicity couldn't help it; she was beginning to give in. The thought of really having someone, other than Gemma, dedicated to helping and making this work was enticing. Could it all have been a joke or did he really mean it? "I thought you didn't want children."

"They aren't our children," said Sirius. "And we don't know… that could happen… when we're ready." His voice sounded gruff and uncomfortable at the thought and Felicity was frozen on the spot at his words.

"You said you didn't want children. I remember that clearly."

"Things change," he said. "I've thought a lot about us since we spoke last. I don't want children right now – I'm not ready for that. But in the future? Maybe. I won't rule it out, if that's what you want." Sirius shifted his feet. "But Melody and Penelope? They aren't random people. They're family."

"You? Me?" Felicity was having a hard time wrapping her head around what he had just said. Children? Family? This was a lot to take in.

"I want to be in your life, Felicity. I want this, more than I've wanted anything. I want to be there for you and deserving of you. I've made mistakes and we know that. But I want another chance. I don't care about anything else – we'll figure it out together. Its white noise and all I want is you."

"I-"

"Let me show you that I'm ready. That I'm worthy and deserving and any other word you can think of. Say yes."

Felicity stopped for a moment and thought back to when her parents and Vivian had died. How hollow she had felt and the despair that came with it. The effort that it took to push people away – especially Sirius, because she felt like she couldn't do it all at once, that she needed to be alone to grieve. Could it be different this time? Easier, even? Would it be better with Sirius around, someone she could lean on and depend on?

"Felicity?"

She looked into his eyes and he searched hers. "I-" Her heart was beating fast as she searched for the words to say no, but she couldn't bring herself to. "Okay."

Sirius seemed frozen. "Yes?"

Felicity took a gulp. "Yes."

* * *

 **Hello Everyone! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter (and perhaps even shed a tear, I know I did while writing it!). Finally we get to see some more Felicity/Sirius action and there is more to come!**

 **I'm not sure if any of you are interested, but I know a lot of authors write to different playlists and I'm no exception. If you'd like a little insight into what I listen to, take a look at Neptune by Sleeping at Last. That was the song that really inspired me to write this scene about Felicity and Sirius. Usually it takes me awhile to get these kind of scenes right in my mind but this one came effortlessly. Which is why I updated so quickly!**

 **If you'd like to go even a step further - the whole album by Sleeping at Last is 'Atlas - Year One'. Some of my favourites, which I often write to depending on the scene are : 'I'll Keep You Safe', 'Light', 'In The Embers', 'Sun', 'Venus', 'Mars', and 'Saturn'.**

 **If you'd like to know more of what I listen to, drop me a review or PM and I'll be more than happy to post some more next chapter.**

 **Until next time!**


	25. Chapter 24

Felicity woke up feeling groggy the next morning; she had slept horribly from tossing and turning all night and now that she was awake, there was a kink in her neck that hurt every time she moved to look to the left. She groaned in dismay.

It was Tuesday, she reminded herself of that fact, which meant classes all day and then the evening with Pomfrey in the hospital wing. Just the thought of having to go there after what happened with Gemma gave Felicity an uneasy feeling. Who would she have to persuade to just lay in bed all day?

When she finally opened her eyes she saw blackness until she could faintly see the surroundings of her four poster bed. There was only a little light creeping through the curtain but she knew it was far too early to get out of bed and start to get ready – and yet she couldn't sleep anymore. The faint sound of heavy breathing and snores coming from Lily and Marlene brought her back to reality as she pushed herself out of the comfort of her bed and into the bathroom. When Felicity passed by Gemma's bed the hollow feeling grew inside her – it was still unmade, as if she had hurriedly gotten ready and then left.

Once inside the brightly lit bathroom, the mirror became her new enemy.

Perhaps Felicity didn't realise how tired she was, but the bags under her eyes told a different story – they were dark, nearly black, and made her look old and worn out. Her hair was an utter mess – there was a large knot in the bottom of her hair that looked like it would be dreadful to get out. There were red blotches covering her skin, mainly on her arms, neck and chest, as if she had broken out into hives. She knew they were from stress but just looking at them made her more upset.

Since when had she begun to look like what she felt on the inside?

The thought bothered her. She stripped off her clothes to look at herself better and was astounded that she hardly recognized the person in the mirror. Her breathing became quicker and more ragged. She knew that she had lost weight since her family's death – but had her bones really stuck out like that before?

She didn't look like Felicity anymore and that thought bothered her the most. Who had she become?

Just a shell of the person she used to be.

Felicity was angry with herself and she could faintly hear Vivian's voice in her head whispering ' _how could you let yourself get this way?_ '

The longer that she looked at herself in the mirror the angrier she got. How could she have let herself get so lost? She resented the fact that her parents and Vivian were dead – and she wanted to murder the people responsible for their deaths. And poor Gemma… alone in a hospital bed…

What was the phrase people said? If you want something done right, do it yourself. Could it really be that simple?

There was a blossom of possibility, a lovely flower surrounded by the darkness that had formed inside her. If she worked hard enough, would she still be able to get a job at St. Mungo's? Would she be able to look after Penny and Melody? And potentially Gemma too?

When she looked back into her own eyes through the mirror, she saw someone who was broken and she wondered if she'd have the strength to do what she knew needed to be done.

Felicity turned on the shower, stepped inside when it was warm enough and let the water get so hot that it seemed to burn her. She scrubbed until her skin was raw and tried her hardest to loosen the knot in her hair – but it wouldn't budge. Felicity put what felt like a whole bottle of conditioner in her hair yet the knot was still there. She had gone too long without brushing it and now it seemed impossible to get out. Her hair was long, nearly to the middle of her back, but the knot was so large that her hair stopped a couple inches shorter.

She emerged into the steamed bathroom unsure of what to do next when she saw the small pair of shears on a shelf near the sink. Marlene constantly kept her bangs short enough that they wouldn't fall into her eyes…

Before she could think twice about it – she grabbed the small shears and cut until the knot in her hair was gone. She grinned – an actual smile at herself in the mirror until she realised that she had just cut a chunk of her hair off and the rest of it would have to follow.

When Felicity was done – and she had truly done a horrid job – her hair was just longer than her shoulders and in uneven lengths. Dismayed – she tried to cut it to the same length, snipping pieces off here or there until it looked worse than before.

But when Felicity looked into her eyes she saw someone who was changed. Someone who had the littlest shred of hope and possibility.

As she got dressed by her bed, her hair dripping onto the floor – Marlene woke up and immediately went to the bathroom. Felicity figured she had about an hour and a bit before breakfast started and was packing her book bag for the day when Marlene emerged and nearly screamed.

"What have you done to your hair?!"

Lily bolted from her bed, wand in hand, feet in a defensive stance.

Felicity felt like a bug under a microscope. "I cut it," she said with a shrug, trying to walk out the door as quick as she could.

"You can't leave!" Marlene shouted before lowering her voice, trying to make it soothing and persuasive. "Come back and let me fix it."

When Felicity reluctantly sat down on Marlene's trunk, after Marlene had dragged her back by the arm, Lily ran her fingers through the wet strands. "Why did you do it?"

"There was a knot."

"There was a knot so you decided to cut off half your hair?" Marlene said, sadness in her voice. "Your hair was so long and beautiful-"

"I like it," said Lily as Marlene tried to make Felicity's hair even, the only other sound the quiet _chop, chop_. "It was time for a change."

Felicity was quiet – how did you explain the actions of someone who was broken to people who didn't understand? When Marlene exclaimed that she was finished Felicity grabbed her bag and walked out the door without a glance back. She knew that she should have thanked Marlene for fixing her mistake but it felt wrong. Marlene had looked at her like she was a mess – and in that moment under her gaze, she had felt like one. Was that how everyone looked at her?

Felicity didn't go far – she took a seat at one of the empty tables that littered the common room, there was no sense in going down to the Great Hall only to have people walk in to stare at you.

Instead, she came up with a plan.

Get good grades. Finish school. Get job at St. Mungo's. Care for Gemma, whatever that entailed. Move with Penny and Mellie.

Felicity looked at her list and stopped short. She should be able to do this, right? Depending how much care Gemma needed – or if she'd need any at all, the rest should be easy. Finally, after months, all it took was a short list to give her a goal and something to look forward to. The road wouldn't be easy, but when had it ever been? There was something bound to happen and go wrong but the only thing she could do was face it head on.

For so long she thought that she'd have to give up her dream of being a Healer to look after her sisters, to take care of them when in reality, she'd just needed a solid plan. Everything else would just have to follow and be taken care of as it happened.

She felt utterly stupid, sitting there and thinking about all the panic that she had gone through – thinking that nothing could ever be salvaged of their family. But in that moment as she sat, her eyes fixated on that list, it actually felt attainable.

After the summer, Penelope would be going to Hogwarts. Although her clothes and books would be expensive; they always were, and she'd need a wand… in the end it would be worth it.

A horrible thought came to her mind in that instant – would Gemma ever want to fly again?

An even worse thought followed – would she be able to?

Felicity shook aside the horrid thoughts – for she knew they'd plague her all day. Instead, she whipped out a small spare piece of parchment and wrote down all of the assignments that she had to hand in within the next couple of weeks. If she could finish all these by the weekend –

"What did you do to your hair?"

Felicity whipped her head up, her hand instinctively going to her hair only to realise that it was several inches shorter than normal. It was definitely going to take some time to get used to.

"I cut it," she said quietly to Peter, who was standing, gaping at her.

"But why?"

Felicity thought of Lily's words. "I needed a change."

Peter seemed at a loss for words, so decided to sit down. "Felicity-"

"Don't drag it out, you'll make it worse," she snapped, not in the mood to chat. "Spit it out."

"It's my fault Gemma's in the hospital," he said meekly, staring at his hands.

At his words, Felicity's blood ran cold. "What?" she choked out.

"It's my fault-" he said quickly, but Felicity cut him off again, unsure of his words.

"How?" She hated the fact that her voice cracked, showing her weakness.

Peter couldn't look in her eyes as he spoke. "We were in the library, looking up Quidditch moves when we came across one –"

"You didn't deliberately sabotage her, did you?" Felicity's words were cold as ice, her eyes glaring at Peter, who still couldn't look at her.

"No," he squeaked. "But I suggested she try it. If I'd known-"

Felicity sighed, leaning back. She didn't particularly want to listen to Peter's excuses but she knew that he'd had to feel guilty for coming to her and telling her this. "Peter," she said, waiting until he looked up at her to continue. Felicity tried to make her words as soothing as possible, which was hard to accomplish; she could see his hands were shaking. "I know this isn't your fault. You didn't force her to do it; she did if of her own accord. Accidents happen and I know you didn't mean any harm."

Tears started to fall down Peter's face as he quickly got up. "I'm so-so sorry," he squeaked before taking off through the portrait hole. For a moment, Felicity thought she ought to follow him but thought better of it. He'd come down to the Great Hall eventually – he couldn't resist the food. And when he came she would reassure him that it would be all right.

A gnawing thought echoed through her mind in Gemma's voice, _but shouldn't he be reassuring you?_

Felicity focused for the next hour, as more and more people started to head down to the Great Hall, completing half of an essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts before her hand cramped up and she figured she should head down to breakfast.

She hadn't seen any of the boys, save Peter, leaving the tower, or the girls. As she headed down, she looked for them but didn't see any sign. Many people gave her sideways glances and she met them with glares. _Stop staring!_ She screamed in her head. Perhaps cutting her hair so drastically wasn't the best option.

When she walked in and towards her usual spot at the Gryffindor table, she let go of the breath she had been holding. No one was at the table yet, except for Peter, who was sullenly eating some toast and jelly.

Felicity started for her usual spot but stopped short and sat in James' instead. Peter's head moved a fraction of an inch in her direction but he didn't say anything.

Felicity placed her bag on the bench beside her, in Gemma's spot, before turning to Peter.

"I know you feel like this is your fault," she said, placing a hand on his arm. "But really, Peter, it's not. It's a normal thing to go and research Quidditch moves in the library. And Gemma is a capable witch, I'm sure she thought that she'd be able to complete… whatever she was trying to do." Felicity didn't pretend she knew what Gemma had even been trying to do; she had never been good at following Quidditch. "I have hope that she's going to wake up and I know she could never be angry at you; you're her friend and she cares about you."

Peter shook his head and tears fell onto Felicity's arm.

"It's okay to be scared," she continued. "Right now we don't know what's going to happen. But I do know that Gemma wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"We had been snooping through the restricted section," Peter sniffed. "Trying to find new hexes to use on the Slytherins. I spotted the Quidditch book and showed Gemma; she loved it. I think it had been someone's before – there were notes in the margins, tips and tricks. She wrote some of it down but I don't think she knew enough…" Peter put his face into his hands to try and hide the fact that he was sobbing quietly.

Felicity pulled Peter towards her, embracing him as much as she could within the space available. "I'm so sorry, Felicity," he said quietly. "It's my fault and I'm just so sorry."

"Thank you for telling me," was her quiet reply. "I know it wasn't easy and you're feeling guilty."

He quietly pulled away and there was a silence between them before Peter spoke again. "I'm sorry too, for what I said when your family passed."

Felicity felt the goosebumps rise on her arms at the mention of her parents and Vivian. As always, when she thought of them, tears stung her eyes. "Peter-"

"It was a horrid thing to say," he continued. "I honestly don't know what I could have been thinking." He pushed around the leftover jelly on his plate. "When things go bad, James or Sirius will make a joke. Something stupid yet funny. Everyone will usually laugh and smile, the sadness forgotten. It's worked so many times that I didn't think before I spoke. It was the wrong thing to say in a moment where you were hurting more than I can imagine and I know I can never take those words back. But I am so sorry for what happened to them and what you had to go through. No one should have to suffer like that."

Peter's words rang through Felicity's mind, over and over again. _I'd go loopy too if that happened to my family._

Peter couldn't look her in the eyes, he stared at his plate as his knife pushed the jelly around. Felicity tried to think of something to say, but she was coming up short.

"I forgive you," she said softly before pulling Peter into another embrace. "Horrible things have happened and I'm sure more are coming our way. But with friends like you Peter, I'm sure we'll be able to face anything."

When they broke apart, Peter had a small smile on his face. "Do you feel better, getting that off your chest?" she asked.

He nodded. "Thank you for understanding, Felicity."

Felicity only nodded, now lost in her own thoughts, of her feelings on that day. She had almost used an unforgivable curse… she had been seeing red after Peter had said those things. But even now, when things seemed bleak, she was glad that there had been someone to hold her back.

She almost jumped when someone's hand rested on her shoulder – a quiet yelp escaping her lips anyways. But it was only Amy, one of Gemma's friends. Amy immediately pulled back her hand and glanced down at Felicity's bag over Gemma's spot, but instead of asking to move it, she sat on the other side of it, her legs facing the opposite way.

Felicity could tell from the red eyes that Amy had been crying and when she spoke, there was a slight tremble in her voice. "I'd heard what happened to Gemma," she said. Felicity could feel Peter tensing beside her. "I just wanted to know if she'd woken up yet."

Felicity looked down at her hands and swallowed hard. "The healers haven't sent any updates; they say she's sleeping so her brain can heal itself. We won't know if there is damage until she wakes up."

Amy nodded. "How are you holding up? Is there anything you need?"

Felicity almost laughed; of course she wasn't okay, but the lie came easily enough. "No, I'm all right."

Amy nodded, not fully believing her words. She reached over and squeezed Felicity's shoulder again before walking back towards the Ravenclaw table.

"Does it get tiring?" Peter asked.

Felicity sighed. "You have no idea."

When another hand came down on her shoulder, Felicity did jump.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, love," Sirius said, moving his hand from her shoulder to her back. "Mind if I sit?" He motioned to the seat beside her; Gemma's, on which Felicity's bag was sitting on. With a sigh, she moved the bag so it was on the floor.

Without warning, his hands were running through her newly cut hair. "It suits you," was all he said before tucking in.

"I completely agree," said Remus before sitting down across from her. "It makes you look very sophisticated."

"Like a completely new witch!" Marlene exclaimed as she sat along with Lily and James. Felicity could hear Marlene quietly mutter to Lily, "Was that good?" and stifled a laugh herself.

"Thank you," Felicity said, picking up a piece of toast. "Now that I have you all here, I'd like to ask a favour."

"Yes," Sirius said automatically, before Felicity had even finished her sentence.

"But you don't even know what I was going to ask!" she said, a small smile coming to her face.

Sirius looked up, glanced in her eyes quickly before taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "I'd literally do just about anything for you, so what's the point in saying no?"

Remus rolled his eyes while James laughed. "What are you proposing, Felicity?"

She took a deep breathe. "We don't know when Gemma is going to come back, but when she does there will only be a couple weeks until our N.E.W.T's. We have a lot of assignments due in the next couple weeks as well as studying."

"Are you proposing a study group?" asked Lily excitedly.

Felicity smirked. "Somewhat."

Lily was about to open her mouth again when Marlene clamped her hand over her lips. "Please, do continue."

"I'd like us all to do an assignment for her," Felicity said quickly, and when Lily's eyes grew, she quickly went on so she wouldn't be able to interrupt. "She'll be coming back in the middle of things with a billion essays due. If we each do one for her, then she'll only have to focus on the assignments that are given out before N.E.W.T's, as well as studying. I think we should meet in the library's on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's."

"Felicity-" Lily reprimanded.

"I know it's asking a lot, but Gemma's our friend, our _family_." Felicity implored them to listen. "It'll only be the one time and if you like, we can get Gemma to rewrite the assignments so they are in her writing, she can tell the professors that she had them done before the accident!"

"I'll do it," Peter said, speaking up. "I can do the DADA essay that's due next week, it should be easy enough."

"But Peter-" said Lily quickly before Remus cut her off.

"I'll do her Transfiguration," Remus said, jotting down notes quickly.

"Remus? You can't be serious!" Lily said shaking her head. "If we get caught-"

"What else is left?" James asked, cutting Lily off. "I should have taken Transfiguration, it's the easiest!"

"I'll take Potions!" Sirius said quickly and Felicity could feel her heart start to bloom.

"This is so wrong!" protested Lily and within a second, Felicity's heart started to drop.

"Would you rather Gemma fail?" snapped Felicity. "What do you think will happen if she doesn't get this done? If she doesn't have time to study?"

The table was quiet as Lily tried to think of something to say. Her mouth bobbed open and closed like a fish out of water. "I-I.."

"Lily," Felicity said in a softer tone. "We can't make you do anything you don't want."

"I'll do it," she said, her voice shaky. "But she _must_ rewrite my paper! I'm taking no chances!"

After they had doled out all the assignments and eaten, they made their way to their first class. Sirius' hand was weaved through hers; their fingers entwined.

"What changed?" he asked, speaking softly as to not be overheard.

James was in front trying to desperately switch assignments with Remus, so Felicity knew their conversation wouldn't be heard. "What do you mean?"

Sirius shifted, slightly uncomfortable. "The person you were yesterday is not the person who is here today," he said, picking his words carefully.

Felicity let out a quiet chuckle. "I had an epiphany."

"And what does this epiphany entail?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I came to the realisation that you were right; I don't have to do this alone. I've got a great support system that I can happily call family and who will help, no matter what. Case and point, with the assignments."

Sirius was shaking his head. "It's more than that."

Felicity sighed, pulling back on his hand so that they were falling behind everyone else. There was no need to lie to Sirius as he'd figure it out eventually. "I guess I've come up with a plan. When my parents died, I didn't have anything to look forward to, or a goal in mind. Last night and mainly this morning, I've come to the realisation that… well, I guess if I want something done right then I've got to do it myself."

Sirius smirked and pulled her along the hallway, knowing they'd be late if they didn't keep walking. "And what do you have in mind?"

"Pass my classes, get a job as a healer, move with the girls,…"

Sirius' eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's it?" Felicity noted that he never mentioned himself.

"I can't plan everything in advance! There are some things that will have to be dealt with as they happen, but for the moment, this gives me something to look forward to. Something to work for, a goal to be achieved. For the longest time I thought that everything was out of my reach and I'd have to sit back and not be able to do anything about it. But with Gemma indisposed and the girls waiting on us – I need to take control and make sure that we'll be all right."

"And you know I'll be by your side."

Felicity looked up at him, the words resonating inside her core. _You're not alone_ , repeating in her mind over and over. The flower inside was once again blooming.

* * *

 **Wow, this chapter took longer than I anticipated! Sorry for the long wait and I hope you like it, please review!**


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